Saw Art yesterday

[guildnavigator]

I saw "Art Bell" playing on my iPod, early before the sun came up this morning. Then my wife woke up and said "TURN IT OFF."

[jazmunda]

This is the Art Bell website in the mirror universe.

http://www.bellart.com

[guildnavigator]

BellEnd.com

[jazmunda]

BellEnd.com

That link should lead to the Quits thread.

[TheMan WhoFell ToEarth]

Wanna take a ride on Art Bell's Bell End?

[Lt.Uhura]

In it was a small mustache-trimmer and some shoe polish. "Wait, that was supposed to be body oil," Art said, with an impish grin.

Also in the box was gift card for CC Radio in the amount of $19.50 and a Powerball ticket for that week's record-breaking jackpot.  Feeling hurt by Art's insinuation with the mustache-trimmer and shoe polish, I reminded him that I no longer had anything to do with "Jorch".  "Well I just don't know who to trust anymore.  I've been replaced by him before--without warning--and there is no guarantee it won't happen again!"  Suddenly Art lunged forward in his seat as if in severe pain, "OWWW!"  "My damn back has gone out again!", he screamed.  As if by coincidence, "Back Stabbers" by The O'Jays was playing on the car radio at that very moment.  "TURN THAT RADIO OFF!", demanded Art as he took exit 51 off the freeway. ...We checked out of the Clampit Motel by 7am after a restless night's sleep disturbed by Art's back spasms, a painful spider bite to his neck, and some strange lights in the sky just outside our window.   Even more creepy was the desk clerk, J.C who kept warning us about the coming "end times".  "ALL SINNERS AND PORNICATORS  MUST REPENT OR FACE THE BOILING PITS OF SEWAGE!"   Art drove off quickly, leaving the still ranting J.C. in a cloud of dust...

[jazmunda]

This is officially my favorite thread on Bellgab.

Perhaps another change of website name is in order.

www.sawartyesterdaygab.com

[Lt.Uhura]

Art asked me to ride his seesaw..... he had it with him in a rusted out pickup truck with cat family decals.

Be careful.  I heard a rumor Art's seesaw is really a time machine.  On the other hand, if he shows up again have him dial it back to the day he signed the non-compete.

[jazmunda]

Be careful.  I heard a rumor Art's seesaw is really a time machine.  On the other hand, if he shows up again have him dial it back to the day he signed the non-compete.

Which one?

[georgesucks]

I saw art bell at the local bar and he was with Fort Rock, JC Webster the third and Ufo Phil. They were playing strip poker and making fun of George Noory.

[jazmunda]

I saw art bell at the local bar and he was with Fort Rock, JC Webster the third and Ufo Phil. They were playing strip poker and making fun of George Noory.

Which one?

[georgesucks]

Which one?

JC was in the shadows so i could not tell but from his voice, i would guess it was the first J.C.

[jazmunda]

JC was in the shadows so i could not tell but from his voice, i would guess it was the first J.C.

The original and the best.

[paladin1991]

I call BS, he don't eat pepperoni.

I'm betting He eats Trader Joe's Tuna for Catz.

[paladin1991]

Wanna take a ride on Art Bell's Bell End?

Hmmmm.  That is, IIRC, sometimes referred to as The Bell Curve.

[jazmunda]

Hmmmm.  That is, IIRC, sometimes referred to as The Bell Curve.

Bulging Bell Curve.

Best quote of the Dark Matter era.

[ksm32]

Yeah he gets around. Why just last night he popped in and made me a lovely lobster bisque, gave me a full body massage with sacred oils from India and finished with a soft shoe dance.

I tipped him well.

[Threaten the Hoover]

Art gave me a telemarketing call last night, new career for him I guess, tried selling me a can of his own intestinal gasses - Arts Farts: Pizza Punch flavor.

[steelbot]

Art once kicked me in the bean bag at a bus stop in Lima, OH. Walked right up, kicked me square. Haven't respected him as much since.

ALWAYS, go first in Roshambo! geeze MV - thought you knew this!

[onan]

I contracted with a fence company to put up a chain link fence around three acres. the company hired a sub-contractor... Art Bell's construction Co. I came back to inspect the work 2 days later. Instead of a fence, I had a 60 feet high radio tower. I had to give then man a tip... the tower was beautiful.

[steelbot]

I contracted with a fence company to put up a chain link fence around three acres. the company hired a sub-contractor... Art Bell's construction Co. I came back to inspect the work 2 days later. Instead of a fence, I had a 60 feet high radio tower. I had to give then man a tip... the tower was beautiful.

Imagine what it could have been like had the guy put in a solid 6 or 7 weeks of work on it!

[jazmunda]

I saw Art Bell walking out of a 7-11 wearing an Elvis Presley style white jumpsuit. He's really let himself go.

[ItsOver]

I saw Art Bell walking out of a 7-11 wearing an Elvis Presley style white jumpsuit. He's really let himself go.

Thank goodness he has the sense not to try singing.  Unlike "the one who phones it in."

[WhiteCrow]

I saw Art at a Pittsburg Indian Casino giving career advice to Falkie.

[guildnavigator]

I went to the corner to get some fresh arugula and tomatoes, and shit on my curtains, The King walked out just as I was walking in. That's right, fucking Elvis. Almost didn't recognize him on account of he was disguised as Art Bell. Then he muttered something about cigarette butts in his garden. I turned to look at him and he slowly faded away.

G SHIT: WOULD YOU F@#* A GHOST?!?

[b_dubb]

Art came to my house the other day with some Jehova Witnesses.  He didn't leave with them though.  He's been walking up and down the street with a metal detector since then.  He's been badgering neighbors to let them borrow a shovel.  The cops came and brought him doughnuts and coffee.

[georgesucks]

Art came to my house the other day with some Jehova Witnesses.  He didn't leave with them though.  He's been walking up and down the street with a metal detector since then.  He's been badgering neighbors to let them borrow a shovel.  The cops came and brought him doughnuts and coffee.

Art was at my house and cleaning the litterbox. Its a shitty job but someone had to do it.

[guildnavigator]

Ok, ok. Art Bell didn't come to my house to use the bathroom. BUT HIS SISTER DID!

[MV/Liberace!]

Ok, ok. Art Bell didn't come to my house to use the bathroom. BUT HIS SISTER DID!

haaaaaahahaha

[Mels-hole1984]

Wow! This thread took off...Fuckin' weirdos. hahahaha