I have a copy of Jorch's shitty cookbook

[DanTSX]

Peach Chutney? 

You never cooked any of these you fraud !

Trying to find something with tooomerhhhuccc.


Pics coming soon.  Just got it 5 mins before the store closed.


I'll probably send this to Bateman or someone for the Luls.


Best $4 I spent all week!

[bateman]

I'll probably send this to Bateman or someone for the Luls.

Please, please, no.

[DanTSX]

Please, please, no.

There are like 30 turkey sandwich recipies in here.  Not kidding.

[bateman]

There are like 30 turkey sandwich recipies in here.  Not kidding.

I wasn't aware 7-11's menu was so varied.

[DanTSX]

I wasn't aware 7-11's menu was so varied.

It depends what type of candybar you insert into your turkey sandwich.

Btw, the secret ingredient to Richard C. Hoagland's donut recipie is Heath Bars

[DanTSX]

Oh fat ass tommy has an entry in here!

Hope you guys like butter.

[bateman]

It depends what type of candybar you insert into your turkey sandwich.

Btw, the secret ingredient to Richard C. Hoagland's donut recipie is Heath Bars

... Does Richard Hoagland really have a recipe in there? I'm genuinely curious to know what daily life is like at the Hoagland household. Is he married? Is he constantly yelling at her "MAUDE, IT'S ANOTHER FACE, HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THIS? MAUDE? MAUDE??" For some reason I imagine him having a bunch of ferrets too...

[DanTSX]

... Does Richard Hoagland really have a recipe in there? I'm genuinely curious to know what daily life is like at the Hoagland household. Is he married? Is he constantly yelling at her "MAUDE, IT'S ANOTHER FACE, HOW DO YOU NOT SEE THIS? MAUDE? MAUDE??" For some reason I imagine him having a bunch of ferrets too...

Yup.  It's donuts.

The Numbers Lady, Linda Moulton Howe, and Tommy are represented as well.  Still digging through this so there may be more.   There is a whole chapter on flavoring butter.  No shit.  Like 8 recipes to just make butter in a row.  None of them have any real effort or skill.  (i.e. bacon butter, add bacon fat to butter, stir, and eat out of a bowl maybe ladle some mayonnaise out on it and wash it down with gravy)  Maybe Lame Dames has a butter recipe in here too?

A whole shitload of turkey sandwiches.  WTF George!

No hot pockets and no turmeric

[bateman]

You cannot be serious. Flavored butter?

[DanTSX]

Ok you vaguely lovable pack of wild hyenas.  Here is some photographic proof of this nightmare.  This book isn't even out yet, but DanTSX has it.

I went way out of my way to get it.  Had a late lunch with the CEO of a Fortune 500 today in NYC, then had to drive home to CT in all that crazy traffic shit out of NY.  Took a 50 mile detour to the bookstore I saw this book at back on Labor Day.  Arrived at the store 5 minutes before they closed, then flogged  back home to a nice fire, pipe, Dark Matter, iPad, BellGab, and my Dave Noory cookbook.

[DanTSX]

lol Tommy

[ItsOver]

You cannot be serious. Flavored butter?

Tommy likes to use it as dipping sauce for his Twinkies.

[DanTSX]

Introduck-shun

[DanTSX]

Turkey Sandwich Variations listed amongst a selection of Turkey uses.  The only section that doesn't have a turkey sandwich listed is the butter section.

[DanTSX]

I feel like George should had put a little disclaimer in this illustration, considering the dangers of modern microwave cuisine....


I mean, you might burn your tongue folds off! 

[bateman]

Tommy likes to use it as dipping sauce for his Twinkies.

Just choked on water, thank you.

[bateman]

Turkey Sandwich Variations listed amongst a selection of Turkey uses.  The only section that doesn't have a turkey sandwich listed is the butter section.

Jesus Christ, this man and his turkey. All that tryptophan might explain his interviewing "style" though.

[DanTSX]

Good Lord, the people that are able to view my photo stream are going to think that I've gone insane.  Usually it's just pictures of firearms or my kid doing cute things.  Now I'm uploading 30 different butter "recipes".

[DanTSX]

Sorry for the shitty pics.  I'm just beat after the past three days of work.

Garlic Butter and French Herb Butter


Italian Butter and Mexican Abduction Butter


Continuing Jorch's World Lipid Tour of 2013, we come to Asian, French, before bringing it back home with "country" butter

I don't have a fucking clue what "ooh la la" butter is.  Maybe it's what Linda Moulton Howe reads off her cue cards when George and her have a nice candle lit "Working" dinner with an extra side of creepy


The sad part, that is not the end of the butter recipes.

[PB the Deplorable]

We might be the only people that ever read these 'recipes'.

[DanTSX]

We might be the only people that ever read these 'recipes'.

Quite certain of that.

This book is clearly labeled as a pre-production copy for editors and reviewers.   Which explains why I was able to find it back in early September in a used book store, when this book isn't even out yet (Nov 5th ship date).

The reviewer promptly tossed this in with whatever other books they took to the used book store for store credit or beer money. 

[DanTSX]

It's too bad that Dave didn't take his own advice the night of the infamous Pizza Roll Incident.  He would had been fine.  Even if he sprinkled some Art Bell Pizza Punch on the finished product.


Hey Jorch, is Turkey an appropriate pizza topping?  Just making sure.

[DanTSX]

Hey if Bateman doesn't want this book, should I send it off to Pahrump?

[DanTSX]

Ok, the nighthawk has a recipe in here on how to microwave corn on the cob.  That is about as necessary as a recipe on how to open up the 40oz of Olde English that he cracks open 15 minutes to showtime.

Oh yeah, Jorch also waxes eloquently about the advantages of a microwave oven nearby in his studio in LA and his home studio in KC.  No mention of his nearby bar or mini-fridge full of Dubra. 

[bateman]

Hey if Bateman doesn't want this book, should I send it off to Pahrump?

You do have that fireplace right in front of you...

[ItsOver]

Turkey Sandwich Variations listed amongst a selection of Turkey uses.  The only section that doesn't have a turkey sandwich listed is the butter section.

Jorch is on a mission.

[attachimg=1]

He's hoping somebody can take a hint. 

[attachimg=2]

[DanTSX]

You do have that fireplace right in front of you...

No.  I know what you are thinking.  But I think we can get more mileage our of this.  At GNoory's expense of course.



The following photoshop images were found freely from searching "George Noory" in Google image search:(and I'm being nice which pics i'm linking here...)

[bateman]

I'm disappointed there's no turkey butter recipe.

[mombird3]

As a cookbook lover, I would say this book sucks! The butter flavors are not for people on diets. Who flavors butter? Yuk.

[DanTSX]

As a cookbook lover, I would say this book sucks! The butter flavors are not for people on diets. Who flavors butter? Yuk.

Tommy