History According To George

[Nucky Nolan]

Last night, George was delighted to discover that newspapers actually existed "back then" in 1888. That brought to mind a past Noory-hosted Coast on which he asked his guest if the Knights Templar were Arabs or Muslims. He also thought that "Charlie Main" was alive during the Crusades. Please share your recollections of Dave, the "histnoorian's", revisionist comments.

[ItsOver]

I'm still laughing too hard about "Charlie Main" to think of any at the moment. 

[bateman]

http://youtu.be/EL6HdfCP_dI

[DigitalGuy]

http://youtu.be/EL6HdfCP_dI

George as an expert on Ancient Aliens ... what a laugh.

George is an "expert" on a variety of subjects.  His expert opinions start at about 4:10.

George Noory on Nightline

[Nucky Nolan]

George as an expert on Ancient Aliens ... what a laugh.

George is an "expert" on a variety of subjects.  His expert opinions start at about 4:10.

George Noory on Nightline

Could he be more evasive and vague? He makes politicians sound like honest brokers. He won't give direct answers to any questions.

(Not) George Noory: "Someone is doing something at some time in some place."

[ItsOver]

There's Jorch's legendary Sanskrit question.  "Were "sand scripts" actually written in sand?"  I expect him to ask some day if the Wall Street Journal is actually written on a wall.  :  Jorch has shown that, yes, there actually are stupid questions. 

[PB the Deplorable]

Last night, George was delighted to discover that newspapers actually existed "back then" in 1888. That brought to mind a past Noory-hosted Coast on which he asked his guest if the Knights Templar were Arabs or Muslims. He also thought that "Charlie Main" was alive during the Crusades. Please share your recollections of Dave, the "histnoorian's", revisionist comments.

He can't have that good of a grip on history if he thinks the pyramids are in Gaza

[Nucky Nolan]

He can't have that good of a grip on history if he thinks the pyramids are in Gaza

(Not) George Noory: "I went to the Gaza Strip. What happened to the Sphinx!"

[Sardondi]

Last night, George was delighted to discover that newspapers actually existed "back then" in 1888. That brought to mind a past Noory-hosted Coast on which he asked his guest if the Knights Templar were Arabs or Muslims. He also thought that "Charlie Main" was alive during the Crusades...

But his close friends call him "Chuck". Past idiocy to the sheer sublime. There is a grace, a certain kind of perfection to his stupidity. It's just beyond rules. I...I'm inspired to tell a joke: 

"So Dave Noorie, Charlie Main and Lady Gaza walk into a bar. And Dave Noorie says, 'Every time I have a show with a sand script, my Sphinxter tightens.'...."

[lonevoice]

Oh.My.Gawd!   There are no words adequate to describe the perfection of  Lady Gaza and the Sphinxter.

[Nucky Nolan]

But his close friends call him "Chuck". Past idiocy to the sheer sublime. There is a grace, a certain kind of perfection to his stupidity. It's just beyond rules. I...I'm inspired to tell a joke: 

"So Dave Noorie, Charlie Main and Lady Gaza walk into a bar. And Dave Noorie says, 'Every time I have a show with a sand script, my Sphinxter tightens.'...."

He thought that the Sphinx's first name was Leon.

George Noory: "Who built the land bridges?" (real quote)

[PB the Deplorable]

He thought that the Sphinx's first name was Leon...

Oh shit, that's the funniest thing I've seen all day!

[kf5iwe]

George Noory: Killing hopes and destroying dreams since 2003

[scottydawg]

Imagine George with Woody Woodpeckers voice! "One World Guvment, One World Guvment, HeeHeeHeeHawHaw!"

[Yorkshire pud]

Last night, George was delighted to discover that newspapers actually existed "back then" in 1888.

I suppose it would be far too much for the moron to mention Charles Dickens and what one of his jobs was forty years before 1888? He will have heard of Dickens won't he? Won't he?

[BobGrau]

...He will have heard of Dickens won't he? Won't he?

We don't yews that kinda lanwidge. Thisis uh fambly show.

[Sardondi]

I suppose it would be far too much for the moron to mention Charles Dickens and what one of his jobs was forty years before 1888? He will have heard of Dickens won't he? Won't he?

Much less Addison and Steele and The Spectator, from the great days of the coffeehouses in Queen Anne's and George I's reigns. There were twelve newspapers in London alone in the early part of the 18th century.

I would love to have lived in London in the late 17th- to the mid-18th-centuries (assuming I had enough money to insulate myself from the dreadful, wretched life which the poor led then and there). In the reigns of Charles II, William and Mary, Anne and the fat little German, George I, I would have spent my time in the coffeehouses which were the progenitors of men's clubs and were crammed with men wildly talking up the day's events. Smoking a long clay pipe, drinking a dish of coffee (tea didn't displace coffee until the about 1750) Maybe I'd run across Sammy Pepys on one of his whoring pub crawls; or go over to Dublin to catch Dean Swift in high dudgeon. Maybe I could hang around until the second half of the 18th century and watch Dr. Johnson roaring in some pub, Boswell always over in the corner, scribbling, scribbling, scribbling. Okay, that last was George II's, complaining about the size of Edward Gibbon's massive opus. Maybe I could look him up as well, among his dusty parchments, effortlessly translating the ancient Greek as well as Latin of the original texts. Maybe find Edmund Burke as he was writing the playbook of the American Revolution.

And then maybe I could stretch my span of life just a little more to catch the end of the 18th century and the first good few years of the 19th. All those poets - Blake, Byron, Wordsworth, Coleridge. And maybe I could quote Rod some Dickens, Shelley or Keats, straight form the horses' mouths! And I could find the authors - Austen, Scott,....and this is crazed. Another Sardondi Wall o' Text. Anyway, the early 19th century would definitely be the best time to go back to. Well, the late 19th century too. Maybe with the 18th thrown in. And the 17th. And...

[Yorkshire pud]

Much less Addison and Steele and The Spectator, from the great days of the coffeehouses in Queen Anne's and George I's reigns. There were twelve newspapers in London alone in the early part of the 18th century.

I would love to have lived in London in the late 17th- to the mid-18th-centuries (assuming I had enough money to insulate myself from the dreadful, wretched life which the poor led then and there). In the reigns of Charles II, William and Mary, Anne and the fat little German, George I, I would have spent my time in the coffeehouses which were the progenitors of men's clubs and were crammed with men wildly talking up the day's events. Smoking a long clay pipe, drinking a dish of coffee (tea didn't displace coffee until the about 1750) Maybe I'd run across Sammy Pepys on one of his whoring pub crawls; or go over to Dublin to catch Dean Swift in high dudgeon. Maybe I could hang around until the second half of the 18th century and watch Dr. Johnson roaring in some pub, Boswell always over in the corner, scribbling, scribbling, scribbling. Okay, that last was George II's, complaining about the size of Edward Gibbon's massive opus. Maybe I could look him up as well, among his dusty parchments, effortlessly translating the ancient Greek as well as Latin of the original texts. Maybe find Edmund Burke as he was writing the playbook of the American Revolution.

And then maybe I could stretch my span of life just a little more to catch the end of the 18th century and the first good few years of the 19th. All those poets - Blake, Byron, Wordsworth, Coleridge. And maybe I could quote Rod some Dickens, Shelley or Keats, straight form the horses' mouths! And I could find the authors - Austen, Scott,....and this is crazed. Another Sardondi Wall o' Text. Anyway, the early 19th century would definitely be the best time to go back to. Well, the late 19th century too. Maybe with the 18th thrown in. And the 17th. And...

Can you condense the above into George friendly prose Sardondi? You can't possibly think he'd digest all that in one sitting.

[Sardondi]

Can you condense the above into George friendly prose Sardondi? You can't possibly think he'd digest all that in one sitting.

George's script for History of Newspapers

59 B.C. - 1st paper, Rome - printed on stone. (How delivered? Bet the paperboys had big arms. Like I got with P90X...)
1689 - 1st paper in America, Publick Occurences- printed by Benjamin Harris Franklin (makes a better story using Franklin and nobody will know any different)
1702 - 1st daily paper in English, Daily Courant in London (pronounce "current", so think "AC/DC" with this word: Courant = AC/DC )
1764 - Hartford Courant published in CT, and still published today (Don't say "CT", pronounce "Con-netty-cut". DON"T PRONOUNCE THE C THAT SOUNDS LIKE A K)"
1851 - New York Times first published (remember to practice saying "all the news that's fit to print" ten times before going on air)
1996 - "Internet kills the newspaper star" (remember to ask Tommy what the fuck this means?!)

[PB the Deplorable]

...  I would love to have lived in London in the late 17th- to the mid-18th-centuries... All those poets - Blake, Byron, Wordsworth, Coleridge...

And miss out on Dave Noorie's show?

[ItsOver]

And miss out on Dave Noorie's show?

Can't miss Dave Noorie.  "Where thuh Trooth goes to die."

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

And miss out on Dave Noorie's show?

Why miss it?  You'd be living through the same era of scientific advancements and religious belief systems that George basis his broadcasts on every night.

[PB the Deplorable]

Why miss it?  You'd be living through the same era of scientific advancements and religious belief systems that George basis his broadcasts on every night.

Come Tuesday to ye towne centre our mosht prominent citizen Dave of Noorie will demonstrate thuh medicinal benefits and healing by leech (and we don't mean Dave). 

Bring out yer sick and repellant.

[Nucky Nolan]

Oh shit, that's the funniest thing I've seen all day!

Only boxing fans will get it. You don't hear much about the brothers these days.

[Nucky Nolan]

I suppose it would be far too much for the moron to mention Charles Dickens and what one of his jobs was forty years before 1888? He will have heard of Dickens won't he? Won't he?

That sounds like his nickname for his grandkids, but I think that it's "dickers".

(Not) George Noory: "Charles Dickens must have been one cute guy!"

[yumyumtree]

 I'm glad somebody brought this up. My favorite is the smallpox blanket story. The idea that white settlers plotted to give Indians smallpox blankets has been debunked. Indians certainly suffered and died from white man's diseases, but not through deliberate transmission, though George cites it.

The other one also has to do with disease. The notorious Tuskeegee syphilis experiments were with people who already had syphilis. This was certainly was bad enough, but George and others seem to believe doctors GAVE them syphilis in a Mengele like fashion.

[onan]

I'm glad somebody brought this up. My favorite is the smallpox blanket story. The idea that white settlers plotted to give Indians smallpox blankets has been debunked. Indians certainly suffered and died from white man's diseases, but not through deliberate transmission, though George cites it.

The other one also has to do with disease. The notorious Tuskeegee syphilis experiments were with people who already had syphilis. This was certainly was bad enough, but George and others seem to believe doctors GAVE them syphilis in a Mengele like fashion.

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/1088/did-whites-ever-give-native-americans-blankets-infected-with-smallpox

Fact is, on at least one occasion a high-ranking European considered infecting the Indians with smallpox as a tactic of war. I'm talking about Lord Jeffrey Amherst, commander of British forces in North America during the French and Indian War (1756-'63). Amherst and a subordinate discussed, apparently seriously, sending infected blankets to hostile tribes. What's more, we've got the documents to prove it, thanks to the enterprising research of Peter d'Errico, legal studies professor at the University of Massachusetts at (fittingly) Amherst. D'Errico slogged through hundreds of reels of microfilmed correspondence looking for the smoking gun, and he found it.

The exchange took place during Pontiac's Rebellion, which broke out after the war, in 1763. Forces led by Pontiac, a chief of the Ottawa who had been allied with the French, laid siege to the English at Fort Pitt.

According to historian Francis Parkman, Amherst first raised the possibility of giving the Indians infected blankets in a letter to Colonel Henry Bouquet, who would lead reinforcements to Fort Pitt. No copy of this letter has come to light, but we do know that Bouquet discussed the matter in a postscript to a letter to Amherst on July 13, 1763:

P.S. I will try to inocculate the Indians by means of Blankets that may fall in their hands, taking care however not to get the disease myself. As it is pity to oppose good men against them, I wish we could make use of the Spaniard's Method, and hunt them with English Dogs. Supported by Rangers, and some Light Horse, who would I think effectively extirpate or remove that Vermine.

On July 16 Amherst replied, also in a postscript:

P.S. You will Do well to try to Innoculate the Indians by means of Blanketts, as well as to try Every other method that can serve to Extirpate this Execrable Race. I should be very glad your Scheme for Hunting them Down by Dogs could take Effect, but England is at too great a Distance to think of that at present.

On July 26 Bouquet wrote back:

I received yesterday your Excellency's letters of 16th with their Inclosures. The signal for Indian Messengers, and all your directions will be observed.

As to the argument that not infecting people with a disease is different than knowing and withholding treatment without consent is just as much mengele fashion.

[ItsOver]

That sounds like his nickname for his grandkids, but I think that it's "dickers".

(Not) George Noory: "Charles Dickens must have been one cute guy!"

Jorch:  "I always liked his books.  Speshully that one about the kid floating down the river.  Did you know that "Dickens" wasn't really his last name?  It wash acshully a way to meshure water depth.  5 Dickens....6 Dickens....."

[PB the Deplorable]

George was always talking about the Mayans and the Mayan calendar.  He had many shows about it and guests talking about it.

One time a guest mentioned something about the current day Mayans in Yucatán.  Not only was George unaware that there are Mayans around now, he had no idea where they lived.

Some expert.  Some investigator. 

[Nucky Nolan]

I'm glad somebody brought this up. My favorite is the smallpox blanket story. The idea that white settlers plotted to give Indians smallpox blankets has been debunked. Indians certainly suffered and died from white man's diseases, but not through deliberate transmission, though George cites it.

The other one also has to do with disease. The notorious Tuskeegee syphilis experiments were with people who already had syphilis. This was certainly was bad enough, but George and others seem to believe doctors GAVE them syphilis in a Mengele like fashion.

Punnett believed that last one. He got mad when a caller told him the truth.