Art Bell

[PathoJen]

I've gotta say, FortRock, that was a good message and it needed to be said.  I know the Scorpion Army would be nothing without all caps but they really stress me out.  Maybe you can make JC a bishop so that he doesn't have to interact with the army directly.

[Heather Wade]

A PERSONAL NOTE FROM THE COMMAND OFFICE OF THE SCORPION ARMY:

FOR THE 5TH TIME J.C. HAS SHOWN UP TO THE TRAINING CENTER IN WINNEMUCCA TO APPLY FOR THE POST OF CHAPLAIN OF THE SCORPION ARMY AND TO OBSESS ABOUT EDNA. HE KEEPS TRYING TO GET ME, OR SOMEONE TO DRIVE HIM TO RACHEL TO CONTACT HER THROUGH SOME BLACK COLORED MAILBOX ON AN OBSCURE DIRT ROAD JUST OUTSIDE TOWN. I SIMPLY DON'T HAVE THE TIME, THE STORE THERE DOES NOT SELL MY FAVORITE KIND OF BEER (MILLER GENUINE DRAFT). WHAT PEOPLE DO I DO HERE RECOMMEND I DO? ANNAGRAMMY USED TO HAVE SUCH GREAT IDEAS ABOUT J.C. AND HIS ISSUES, BUT SHE'S NO LONGER HERE. OH WELL, BUT ON ANOTHER POINT I CAN'T HAVE J.C. PREACHING TO ALL OF THE CHAPEL SERVICES OF THE SCORPION ARMY! HE'S SO UPTIGHT WITH WHAT HE BELIEVES, ALL OF THE ARMY WILL GET ULCERS, AND, WELL THE FIELD MARSHALL IS A WONDERFUL MAN AND ALL, GENEROUS TO THE BONE, BUT IT'LL WRECK THE BUDGET OF THE SCORPION ARMY IF THE FIELD MARSHALL PAYS FOR THE ULCER MEDICINE FOR ALL OF THE ARMY MEMBERS. WHAT DO WE DO UP HERE IN WINNEMUCCA WITH J.C. I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN WITH J.C. AND HIS ISSUES WITH EDNA, I'M NOT A MARRAIGE COUNCILOR OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT! WELL THANKS FOR LETTING ME GET SOME STEAM OFF THE COLLAR TODAY. BACK TO THE BULLETINS, AND REGULAR PROPAGANDA MINISTER DUTIES!

FORT, MR. ROCK, SIR.  I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO TYPE A POST IN ALL CAPS, THANK YOU FOR THAT.
AS FOR JC WEBSTER III, YOU TELL HIM HE HAS TO FOLLOW ALL REGULATIONS OF THE SCORPION ARMY IF HE WANTS TO KEEP HIS POST OR HE WILL BE DEMOTED TO PRIVATE GRUNT, PRONTO!  YOU KNOW HE WON'T LIKE THAT.  TELL HIM HE EITHER FOLLOWS THE RULES OF PROFESSIONAL CONDUCT, OR GO AWOL TO FIND EDNA.  THE SCORPION ARMY HAS A MISSION TO CARRY OUT AND IF HE CAN'T TOE THE LINE, THEN HE IS OUT!  THIS WILL FREE YOU FROM THE COSTS OF ULCER MEDICINE FOR THE ARMY, BUT YOU MAY NEED SOME FOR YOURSELF!
GOOD DAY TO YOU, PROPAGANDA MINISTER.  MAY YOU SPREAD THE WORD OF THE RETURN OF FIELD MARSHALL BELL'S MIDNIGHT IN THE DESERT WITH JOY IN YOUR HEART!

[/Caps Lock]

[bateman]

Miller Genuine Draft is someone's favorite beer?

[IcicleTrepan]

A PERSONAL NOTE FROM THE COMMAND OFFICE OF THE SCORPION ARMY:

FOR THE 5TH TIME J.C. HAS SHOWN UP TO THE TRAINING CENTER IN WINNEMUCCA TO APPLY FOR THE POST OF CHAPLAIN OF THE SCORPION ARMY AND TO OBSESS ABOUT EDNA. HE KEEPS TRYING TO GET ME, OR SOMEONE TO DRIVE HIM TO RACHEL TO CONTACT HER THROUGH SOME BLACK COLORED MAILBOX ON AN OBSCURE DIRT ROAD JUST OUTSIDE TOWN. I SIMPLY DON'T HAVE THE TIME, THE STORE THERE DOES NOT SELL MY FAVORITE KIND OF BEER (MILLER GENUINE DRAFT). WHAT PEOPLE DO I DO HERE RECOMMEND I DO? ANNAGRAMMY USED TO HAVE SUCH GREAT IDEAS ABOUT J.C. AND HIS ISSUES, BUT SHE'S NO LONGER HERE. OH WELL, BUT ON ANOTHER POINT I CAN'T HAVE J.C. PREACHING TO ALL OF THE CHAPEL SERVICES OF THE SCORPION ARMY! HE'S SO UPTIGHT WITH WHAT HE BELIEVES, ALL OF THE ARMY WILL GET ULCERS, AND, WELL THE FIELD MARSHALL IS A WONDERFUL MAN AND ALL, GENEROUS TO THE BONE, BUT IT'LL WRECK THE BUDGET OF THE SCORPION ARMY IF THE FIELD MARSHALL PAYS FOR THE ULCER MEDICINE FOR ALL OF THE ARMY MEMBERS. WHAT DO WE DO UP HERE IN WINNEMUCCA WITH J.C. I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN WITH J.C. AND HIS ISSUES WITH EDNA, I'M NOT A MARRAIGE COUNCILOR OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT! WELL THANKS FOR LETTING ME GET SOME STEAM OFF THE COLLAR TODAY. BACK TO THE BULLETINS, AND REGULAR PROPAGANDA MINISTER DUTIES!

How is it that you were able to type your nickname into BellGab with mixed case, but can't seem to use it on your posts? 

[chinaclipper]

A PERSONAL NOTE FROM THE COMMAND OFFICE OF THE SCORPION ARMY:

[chinaclipper]

But are you sure this is the real JC and not the pretend JC or the real JC pretending to be the pretend JC?  All three wld require different counseling....of course (redacted)'s solution would apply just as well to all.

[transistorundermypillow]

Poor Sue must have had a heart attack when the whois info got posted.

Nope. The worst of it was being called a Davebot.

[WOTR]

From a potential, feared Davebot to confirmed vaguely lovable Artbot and Bellgab heroine...  Quite the journey.

[popple]

Nope. The worst of it was being called a Davebot.

Falkie knows how that feels 

[SaucyRossy]

Miller Genuine Draft is someone's favorite beer?

Miller Genuine Draft is beer?

[cweb]

Miller Genuine Draft is beer?

Either that or fuel for the Scorpion Army's endless cache of tanks.

[Nick el Ass]

A PERSONAL NOTE FROM THE COMMAND OFFICE OF THE SCORPION ARMY:

FOR THE 5TH TIME J.C. HAS SHOWN UP TO THE TRAINING CENTER IN WINNEMUCCA TO APPLY FOR THE POST OF CHAPLAIN OF THE SCORPION ARMY AND TO OBSESS ABOUT EDNA. HE KEEPS TRYING TO GET ME, OR SOMEONE TO DRIVE HIM TO RACHEL TO CONTACT HER THROUGH SOME BLACK COLORED MAILBOX ON AN OBSCURE DIRT ROAD JUST OUTSIDE TOWN. I SIMPLY DON'T HAVE THE TIME, THE STORE THERE DOES NOT SELL MY FAVORITE KIND OF BEER (MILLER GENUINE DRAFT). WHAT PEOPLE DO I DO HERE RECOMMEND I DO? ANNAGRAMMY USED TO HAVE SUCH GREAT IDEAS ABOUT J.C. AND HIS ISSUES, BUT SHE'S NO LONGER HERE. OH WELL, BUT ON ANOTHER POINT I CAN'T HAVE J.C. PREACHING TO ALL OF THE CHAPEL SERVICES OF THE SCORPION ARMY! HE'S SO UPTIGHT WITH WHAT HE BELIEVES, ALL OF THE ARMY WILL GET ULCERS, AND, WELL THE FIELD MARSHALL IS A WONDERFUL MAN AND ALL, GENEROUS TO THE BONE, BUT IT'LL WRECK THE BUDGET OF THE SCORPION ARMY IF THE FIELD MARSHALL PAYS FOR THE ULCER MEDICINE FOR ALL OF THE ARMY MEMBERS. WHAT DO WE DO UP HERE IN WINNEMUCCA WITH J.C. I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN WITH J.C. AND HIS ISSUES WITH EDNA, I'M NOT A MARRAIGE COUNCILOR OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT! WELL THANKS FOR LETTING ME GET SOME STEAM OFF THE COLLAR TODAY. BACK TO THE BULLETINS, AND REGULAR PROPAGANDA MINISTER DUTIES!

The current JC is an impostulator... so make sure you tell the rest of the scorpion army to be on the look out for a certain bald headed man with a high pitched voice. A group of really angry, and well armed cats should do the job if the real one does indeed show up though.

[Nick el Ass]

Miller Genuine Draft is beer?

He just wants to get people drunk, and draft them into the scorpion army.

[Producer-Paul]

Miller Genuine Draft is beer?

Makes a better fire suppressant.

[sydtron]

Listening h to Ghost 2 Ghost from 1995... 

Looking forward to a Halloween show this year! 

Who else is looking forward to calling in with a good yarn about spookie things?

[bateman]

Listening h to Ghost 2 Ghost from 1995... 

Looking forward to a Halloween show this year! 

Who else is looking forward to calling in with a good yarn about spookie things?

Which raises the question - will it be called Spooky Matter or something else?

[Nick el Ass]

Which raises the question - will it be called Spooky Matter or something else?

I'd just call it spooky stuff with Art Bell.

[jazmunda]

Listening h to Ghost 2 Ghost from 1995... 

Looking forward to a Halloween show this year! 

Who else is looking forward to calling in with a good yarn about spookie things?

Halloween falls on a Saturday night this year.

Art will you be doing Ghost to Ghost on Friday or Saturday night? I need to clear my calendar. I'll take my answer offline.

[jazmunda]

Which raises the question - will it be called Spooky Matter or something else?

Spooky in the Desert.

[bateman]

I'd just call it spooky stuff with Art Bell.

I vote for "Goblins and Such with Art Bell"

[albrecht]

Makes a better fire suppressant.

from what I recall of that "beer" MGD it foamed quite infamously, and almost for no reason, and seemed to be liked by a certain kind of girl. But anyway it likely could satisfy the necessary conditions for fire fighters.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fire_fighting_foam

[jazmunda]

I vote for "Goblins and Such with Art Bell"

Reported for Copyright Infringement.

[sydtron]

How about. "Look motherfucker! Im gonna call you. YOU better be home."

[bateman]

Reported for Copyright Infringement.

Reported for misunderstanding that my suggestion was an endorsement of MV's suggestion.

Also reported for being a tattle tale.

[bateman]

From Keith:

Steve could you let the people in Bellgab know if they want to contribute some artwork to Art Bell.com to email it to me instead of just posting posting it on Bellgab.

And I would also need to know that they are the creators of the artwork and not just a mash up of some other people's work which we would not have permission to use.

To be considered for the logo at the top of the page it has to be those dimensions about 950 width by 200 height.

webmaster@artbell.com

[Morgus]

Which raises the question - will it be called Spooky Matter or something else?

How about "Halloween in the Desert" or similar?

[jazmunda]

From Keith:

Well mine is just a picture that I found on the net. I chose the font though so

[MV/Liberace!]

I vote for "Goblins and Such with Art Bell"

Goblins-n-Such with Arthur Bell

You have to get it right, though.

[bateman]

Well mine is just a picture that I found on the net. I chose the font though so

Recommendation, because Keith is understandably leery of any copyright infringement.. go to Google images, type "desert night" or something like that, and under "usage rights" hit "labeled for reuse with modification." There's some good stuff in there that won't get anyone in trouble.

[bateman]

You have to get it right, though.

My mistake. Is the font Comic Sans too?