George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Sleepwalker]

Noory has a four-hour Financial Crisis Special scheduled for tonight's show with a variety of guests.
He should instead have a special on the far more important Coast-To-Coast-AM Show Crisis. 

Nothing like predictions of total economic collapse after a stressful day.  During George's opening "news" segment he'll no doubt remind us that it's not a matter of IF, but WHEN we're going to be exterminated by a giant asteroid or a monster solar flare.  Oh, how I miss the days of lying in the dark listening to Art talk about Mel's hole or talking to the guy who was flying his plane over Area 51.

Thank God for wi-fi radio and the fact that at least one radio station has Phil Hendrie on at the same time as Coast.

[Oliver Kloseoff]

Don't miss a minute of tonight's show. An ASSortment of brilliant commentators will prove that there is no better place than c2c to be financially educated. Or you could just turn on Fox News. Thank the Almighty that we have George to show us the way to salivation.

[Mind Flayer Monk]

Its 4 hours of buy gold and silver advertisements tonight.

[ziznak]

I made it almost all the way through the first hour.

[Morgus]

Noory broke away for a few minutes late in the third hour for a live report from space adviser Richard C. Hoagland about the live launch of a private space vehicle.

[DangerousBlossom]

I miss the days of lying in the dark listening to Art talk about Mel's hole or talking to the guy who was flying his plane over Area 51.

Hey Noory plays that plane over Area 51 thing some Fridays when he wants to leave early, so why are you complaining?     He sometimes adds that it was a show from April 1st in his wink, wink voice.  But what the heck, there is also the tape of the old ladies in the car.  (Kind of funny for up to 3 listenings.)  I do not think he got it from Art.  Maybe it's a pulic domain sound file?
----
Just now, Noory revealed that he received a strange call, most likely from India or Pakistan, asking for his social security number.  Something is happening and the world is a very bizarre place.  He never imagined he would live to experience something like that.

So .... it is not really Super Volcanos, solar flares, or demonic giants from the inner earth being activated that herald the End Of The World.  It is con artists.

[Oversoul]

x                      x                      x

So .... it is not really Super Volcanos, solar flares, or demonic giants from the inner earth being activated that herald the End Of The World.  It is con artists.

That seems to be the sad truth.   But I'd add the fear-mongers, too. 

[WOTR]

I made it almost all the way through the first hour.

I made it through 5 minutes half way through the show while I prepared an espresso.  I was treated to the guest hinting that because somebody made a small headbow to a Chinese official that the Chinese own America.  A few minutes later and he said that the democrats will not do what is necessary and that is why the upcoming election is important (I am neither left nor right, but to insinuate that the Republicans will run things properly and the Democrats just screw things up smacks of the regular daytime talk show fare that I steer clear of.) 

Good to see they are continuing the slaughter of a once good show to bring me politics.  I do hope that as the election approaches I can be treated to less veiled advice to vote for the preferred party...  Please wake me up when it is dead so I can attend the funeral.

[Oversoul]

Good to see they are continuing the slaughter of a once good show to bring me politics.  I do hope that as the election approaches I can be treated to less veiled advice to vote for the preferred party...  Please wake me up when it is dead so I can attend the funeral.

I feel that the good old glory days of C2C, which crested during the days of Art Bell's hosting, is now a bygone era, in the manner that historical or cultural eras come and go.  I note the recent deaths of Donna Summers and Robin Gibb, both of whom are iconic reminders of the Disco dance era several decades ago.  I don't think the Disco era will ever come back with the kind of impact it made then, and I think the same goes and can be said for the glory days of Art Bell's Coast To Coast.  I somehow think I'm moving past the stages of grieving over the loss of the C2C show I admired and followed then.  I sense myself entering into a phase of accepting the loss of that C2C show, past the denial and anger phases.   I guess it might be time to move on just as I've had to move on after the end of my favorite television shows or series over the years.  Change -- a sad, sometimes painful, but constant reality of life in this world.   

[michio]

Just now, Noory revealed that he received a strange call, most likely from India or Pakistan, asking for his social security number.  Something is happening and the world is a very bizarre place.  He never imagined he would live to experience something like that.

After that brush with death in Mexico even the Indian bad guys are after him.

[WOTR]

I feel that the good old glory days of C2C, which crested during the days of Art Bell's hosting, is now a bygone era, in the manner that historical or cultural eras come and go.  I note the recent deaths of Donna Summers and Robin Gibb, both of whom are iconic reminders of the Disco dance era several decades ago.  I don't think the Disco era will ever come back with the kind of impact it made then, and I think the same goes and can be said for the glory days of Art Bell's Coast To Coast.

A very interesting way to look at things.  I was going to argue that they are using the Coast name and so it is not dead.  However, after you mentioned music I have reconsidered.  I can not name the number of groups who loose members, gain members and eventually go on tour without a single founding member of the group (but still using the famous name.)  I suppose that Coast is very close to that.  While the name lives on under the good captain Noory (and first mate Wells) the show is no longer Coast.  The names have changed, the hits are no longer played and the band is out promoting new material under an old name.  I would not buy a Beegees album featuring singers promoted by the record label after the estate sells the rights to the Beegees name... Perhaps I should not expect disco dance beats and harmony from a ship of buffoons.  Art sold the rights to the name and the company will exploit the ready-made audience however it sees fit.

I suppose that I just find it sad that a nightly tradition has been transformed into an extension of the daily political material...

[Oversoul]

A very interesting way to look at things.  I was going to argue that they are using the Coast name and so it is not dead.  However, after you mentioned music I have reconsidered.  ... Perhaps I should not expect disco dance beats and harmony from a ship of buffoons.  Art sold the rights to the name and the company will exploit the ready-made audience however it sees fit.

I suppose that I just find it sad that a nightly tradition has been transformed into an extension of the daily political material...

I share the same sentiment.  You caught my drift.

The C2C era of Art Bell was like entering a Disco club or joint back in the 70s.  Once inside the Disco, the interior layout of the place and the pulsating lights and throbbing sounds were so different and overpowering.  The music threw you and your senses all over the dance floor with the rhythm of the Disco beat.   You were transformed by some kind of primal high mixed with the minimum blend of cigarette smoke and alcohol drinks.  For the duration of the night up to the wee morning hours, you forgot your life and the world outside the Disco: You were in Alice's Wonderland!  The experience by itself was a HIGH, and you knew it was clearly over once you emerged out of the Disco back into the dullness of the world outside. 

That pretty much describes an Art Bell C2C show.   

[Oversoul]

My original post:

Noory's probably high on Valium, while his hillbilly guest is high on kickapoo juice.  Stoopid host and guest.  More proof that the human race is HOPELESS.

To which WOTR replied:

Sorry; which one exactly are you claiming belongs to the human race?

I forgot:  The anatomically modern human race (homo sapiens sapiens) is supposedly a composite of many derivative archaic hominid "homo sapiens" branches, many of which were allegedly bioengineered by different ET alien races(?).   I suppose my previous comment would refer to the branch(es) or subspecies from which Noory and his guest descended, whichever branch(es) or subspecies it may be.    Hmmm.   I wonder if that might include the ones bioengineered by the "greys."     

[BobGrau]

I share the same sentiment.  You caught my drift.

The C2C era of Art Bell was like entering a Disco club or joint back in the 70s.  Once inside the Disco, the interior layout of the place and the pulsating lights and throbbing sounds were so different and overpowering.  The music threw you and your senses all over the dance floor with the rhythm of the Disco beat.   You were transformed by some kind of primal high mixed with the minimum blend of cigarette smoke and alcohol drinks.  For the duration of the night up to the wee morning hours, you forgot your life and the world outside the Disco: You were in Alice's Wonderland!  The experience by itself was a HIGH, and you knew it was clearly over once you emerged out of the Disco back into the dullness of the world outside. 

That pretty much describes an Art Bell C2C show.   

"CoastGab.com - where hate collides with nostalgia"

[Juan]

Heaven help me - while the guest was talking last night, and Captain George was snoozing, my brain added the idiotic questions and comments. For instance:

Guest - Yes, George, I was a banker.  First in San Francisco, and then when my wife and I moved to Los Angeles, I was a banker in Beverly Hills.

sNoory - At the Commerce Bank of Beverly Hills?

Then my brain added Miss Jane - "Ah, yes."

Ugh.

[Jasmine]

I listened to Noory's "interview" with Salem Witch, Lori Bruno, the other night. This woman's thick Bostonian accent (with a dash of Jewish Mama) really cracked me up. I reside just north of Boston, am not a native, and the accent, to me, is a hoot! For all we know, Bruno could be a distant, wacko-eccentric member of the Kennedy clan.

"George, I sweah to Gawd, I sweah to the coven I begged Teddy NOT to drive that whorah, Mary-Jo Kopehcne, anywheh NEAHR that Chappaquiddick! But, I ask you, did he listen to me? NO!" Teddy nevah listened to me, Bobby nevah did, and John nevah did, and just look how they awl ended up! IN THE GUTTAH! In the MOAWRGUE on the coranah's table! I'm tellin' ya, George, those three nevah embraced the white light! They was too damn busy embracing BROADS!"

Below is a pic of my home-girl in action. She's no doubt chasing away the dark feces of evil from some fish chowder joint down at the docks. Behind her is one of her disciples, a Harvard dropout who builds bombs in his parents' garage in Framingham, Mass, while listening to Heavy Metal. Bruno, with her Elvira hairdo (which houses a scorpion's nest of eggs) looks as if she's smoked one too many Marlboro's, and has soaked up far too much whiskey and sun while vacationing on Miami Beach.



Yet I must say, her message was a harmless one; be good and focus on and create positive energy in your sphere, so I'll give her ten points for that. Noory, as always, just couldn't come up with any original witch questions, and of course reverted to the evil/demonic angle. The moron even asked her if she dressed up for Halloween. For Christ sake, George, honey, google her images - the woman IS Halloween! I'm surprised he never asked her if she ever watched "Bewitched", and what she thought of Endora, Esmerelda, and Aunt Clara.

[Jasmine]

I'm not ashamed to say that my favorite C2C shows by far are the trashiest paranormal stuff imaginable. Ridiculous stuff I'd be ashamed to admit to in person like cryptozoological expeditions to the Congo, evidence of interstellar wars with alien craft, Hall of Records silliness. When GhostToGhost comes around I'm in absolute heaven. I mean, c'mon, at 2:00 a.m. I don't want to be calculating how many parts per million fluorocarbons are in the Great Lakes. It's ridiculous to try to clothe C2C in respectability.   

I want my trash!

Ditto. Listening to C2C, especially with Noory at the helm, is like listening to an audio show put on by the Weekly World News or the Enquirer (some exceptions re guests). Nothing goes better with C2C/Noory than a huge bag of cheese Doritos and Hostess Twinkies.

Removing the trash guests and over-the-top paranormal topics from Coast would be akin to removing the white creamy filling from an Oreo cookie.

Besides, Ian Punnett  and Knapp are always there for the more legit topics and guests (most of the time, that is).

[McPhallus]

I haven't heard her, but your description makes her sound like Evelyn Paglini, who is from Chicago I believe.  Reminds me of Michael Savage saying that witches are women with mustaches who can't find husbands. (I'm sure many are lesbians, too.)

I listened to Noory's "interview" with Salem Witch, Lori Bruno, the other night. This woman's thick Bostonian accent (with a dash of Jewish Mama) really cracked me up. I reside just north of Boston, am not a native, and the accent, to me, is a hoot! For all we know, Bruno could be a distant, wacko-eccentric member of the Kennedy clan.

"George, I sweah to Gawd, I sweah to the coven I begged Teddy NOT to drive that whorah, Mary-Jo Kopehcne, anywheh NEAHR that Chappaquiddick! But, I ask you, did he listen to me? NO!" Teddy nevah listened to me, Bobby nevah did, and John nevah did, and just look how they awl ended up! IN THE GUTTAH! In the MOAWRGUE on the coranah's table! I'm tellin' ya, George, those three nevah embraced the white light! They was too damn busy embracing BROADS!"

Below is a pic of my home-girl in action. She's no doubt chasing away the dark feces of evil from some fish chowder joint down at the docks. Behind her is one of her disciples, a Harvard dropout who builds bombs in his parents' garage in Framingham, Mass, while listening to Heavy Metal. Bruno, with her Elvira hairdo (which houses a scorpion's nest of eggs) looks as if she's smoked one too many Marlboro's, and has soaked up far too much whiskey and sun while vacationing on Miami Beach.



Yet I must say, her message was a harmless one; be good and focus on and create positive energy in your sphere, so I'll give her ten points for that. Noory, as always, just couldn't come up with any original witch questions, and of course reverted to the evil/demonic angle. The moron even asked her if she dressed up for Halloween. For Christ sake, George, honey, google her images - the woman IS Halloween! I'm surprised he never asked her if she ever watched "Bewitched", and what she thought of Endora, Esmerelda, and Aunt Clara.

[Jasmine]

I haven't heard her, but your description makes her sound like Evelyn Paglini, who is from Chicago I believe.  Reminds me of Michael Savage saying that witches are women with mustaches who can't find husbands. (I'm sure many are lesbians, too.)

You may very well be right about the lesbian angle (not that there's anything wrong with that). I don't think either of these broads is married. Perhaps they are indeed devoted vagetarians who avoid salami like the plague. Michael Savage's wry and sly observation could as well be applied to a vast majority of hard core feminists.

[Morgus]

I haven't heard her, but your description makes her sound like Evelyn Paglini, who is from Chicago I believe. 

yes, both of them practice the same form of Italian Strega witchcraft

[Sardondi]

..."George, I sweah to Gawd, I sweah to the coven I begged Teddy NOT to drive that whorah, Mary-Jo Kopehcne..."...

I was a kid but I remember what a terrible wreck that was: the crash was so powerful that it knocked that girl's panties clean off her and into the glove compartment...

[Jasmine]

yes, both of them practice the same form of Italian Strega witchcraft

*Godfather Theme Music* "Allow me to place a spell on ya that ya can't refuse."

I was a kid but I remember what a terrible wreck that was: the crash was so powerful that it knocked that girl's panties clean off her and into the glove compartment.

Mary-Jo offered her honor. Teddy honored her offer. And all night long, in the back seat of that Buick, it was honor and offer. That Mary-Jo allegedly had more hands up her dress than a Muppet.

[rangers1919]

I caught the end, and then some of the start on the replay last night (5/21), and it was one of the worst infomercials, errr programs I've heard on the radio on any station, in any format, at any time. The guest Leslie Something was an absolute fucking fraud. I doubt he went longer than a minute and a half without plugging his DVDs. A guest asks what he should do about his personal debt and the fraud tells him there are two great people he can recommend, and all he has to do is buy his DVDs to learn their names.

Noory is so stupid he doesn't ask a single followup question to any of the idiotic rants except when one time he finally asked what the moron meant by control you assets, a phrase the guest repeated over and over. All he said was that you should buy real estate, an investment that is notoriously volatile if you aren't buying an actual plot of real estate w/ a building on it, of course after the economic crash when nobody has any money a plot of undeveloped real estate is going to save everybody because they can grow tomatoes on it.

I started listening somewhat regularly when I moved recently after stopping for about half a year, but after less than 2 weeks of sporadic listening I am pretty much done again; the show is a joke, the guest are a joke, the host is a joke, and the callers are borderline retarded.

[Jasmine]

I caught the end, and then some of the start on the replay last night (5/21), and it was one of the worst infomercials, errr programs I've heard on the radio on any station, in any format, at any time. The guest Leslie Something was an absolute fucking fraud. I doubt he went longer than a minute and a half without plugging his DVDs. A guest asks what he should do about his personal debt and the fraud tells him there are two great people he can recommend, and all he has to do is buy his DVDs to learn their names.

Noory is so stupid he doesn't ask a single followup question to any of the idiotic rants except when one time he finally asked what the moron meant by control you assets, a phrase the guest repeated over and over. All he said was that you should buy real estate, an investment that is notoriously volatile if you aren't buying an actual plot of real estate w/ a building on it, of course after the economic crash when nobody has any money a plot of undeveloped real estate is going to save everybody because they can grow tomatoes on it.

I started listening somewhat regularly when I moved recently after stopping for about half a year, but after less than 2 weeks of sporadic listening I am pretty much done again; the show is a joke, the guest are a joke, the host is a joke, and the callers are borderline retarded.

I hear you. You know, I'm just a simple God fearing farm girl and the county's certified enemaologist. I have no anger issues whatsoever. But I have to say I have a fantasy of slapping Noory and his producers hard across their faces.

[Morgus]

Anybody going to try to invade Noory's live video chat tonight at 8PM PT?
What would be good questions to ask him to make fun of his face? 

[ziznak]

uh oh It says he's gonna "spontaneously" answer questions on live video... and I'm missing it!!

[HorrorReporter]

uh oh It says he's gonna "spontaneously" answer questions on live video... and I'm missing it!!

I noticed they used that word too... Someone on the inside being sarcastic maybe ?

[HorrorReporter]

He looks drunk like he's saying 'get the hell off my lawn' followed by 'how are yooouuuuuu!?'

[HorrorReporter]

He's looking rough

[EnterDragon]

Just asked a question about being afraid to go to the doctor, I wonder if they'll publish it...