George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Morgus]

When Noory took over c2c as the main host 9 years ago, he at first set a retirement date of Dec 21, 2012.
But he has since changed that and tonight even told a caller that he now plans on NEVER RETIRING, and will keep hosting the show until he drops... 

[Eddie Coyle]

Here is an email I sent to george@coasttocoastam.com today, Friday, March 16, 2012.

TOPIC:  Your phone-screened show compared to Art Bell unscreened...

George,

Why do you have calls screened on your show?  Art Bell didn't, and he was such a captivating radio presence.  I treasured listening to him, but often find your show dull and simplistic by comparison.  Sadly, I find your guest hosts more interesting than you with the possible exception of when you have good guests.  At the very least, you should not have your show screened.

One thing I don't like about your show is your generally simplistic reaction to callers, some of whom explain profound experiences they have had with ghosts or other paranormal experiences.  You don't generally ask probing questions.  You generally give a dull, obvious reaction like, "Well, that must have been scary."  Then you thank the caller and move on.  You generally leave behind so many questions you could have asked that were far more probing and intriguing.

Sometimes your show is interesting if the guest and subject matter are strong, but even Art Bell's choice of music were infinitely better than your entire show.  Art had such charisma and depth, even if he wasn't saying anything and just playing an ABBA song. The way Art segued into a great song was part of his absolute charm, but when I listen to your show, I often turn the radio off or way down during the songs.

I also don't like that you're always selling your podcasts and trying to get more people to like you on Facebook.  You can't change your personality, but if you were more of a captivating person on-air, you would have Facebook followers in droves.

Anyway, just wanted to get some things off my chest.

And you'll really show him by...continuing to listen.     Noory is in his 10th year at C2C, if you haven't figured out yet that he sucks, or keep coming back because you think show 3,000 is where he's finally going to hit his stride, then your problems are internal not external.

        Stop listening, stop calling, stop e-mailing, most importantly stop buying the shit Premiere sells. Hitting them in the pockets is the way only way to end Noory's "reign of error"
            And spiritually, Art's as far removed from C2C as Carson is from The Tonight Show. This C2C ain't his.

     

[testpattern]

A woman caller just described having received what sounded like a donkey punch [see urban dictionary] and George just blathered on mindlessly per usual. Pretty funny. She finished it up with stating that she really hadn't been punched in the head; it was just a dream. Had George any wits about him, he could've asked if there was a wet spot.

[punkinpie]

Why doesn't he hang up on this guy who keeps saying "Stockton Register?"  What a freak.  That would be a call you want to dump.

[ManiacMatt]

Why doesn't he hang up on this guy who keeps saying "Stockton Register?"  What a freak.  That would be a call you want to dump.

No doubt!  That could have been a fun call, but Noory doesn't no jack about the zodiac case besides not knowing how to deal with people.


He kept saying "the point is this."  Then he would ramble about 7 and 11 and various convoluted BS.  Trying to fall asleep and I heard zodiac, so I had to listen.

[Frys Girl]

Why doesn't he hang up on this guy who keeps saying "Stockton Register?"  What a freak.  That would be a call you want to dump.

With respect sir. What a freak ahhh this show sucks.

The obese lady caller was weird too. Telling Noory 'ure all that and a bag of chips!' noory's response: 'fat free chips!'

[punkinpie]

With respect sir. What a freak ahhh this show sucks.

The obese lady caller was weird too. Telling Noory 'ure all that and a bag of chips!' noory's response: 'fat free chips!'

I learned a lot from her.  I didn't realize that people who drive the fat girl carts in Wal-Mart are worried about what people think. 


He came back from break and is still talking about that caller.  He is taking it seriously.  Someone needs to explain mental illness to George.


I liked how he accused the poor guy filling in tonight of trying to take over the show.  It was strange and uncomfortable.

[Zelig]

I liked how he accused the poor guy filling in tonight of trying to take over the show.  It was strange and uncomfortable.

Now that I'm back from Phil Hendrie... I'm sorry I missed that...

[Ben Shockley]

           So Noory was "in the Navy" as recently as 1990 or 91? My bullshit detector just exploded.

I would have agreed, until recently.  I figured that he had gone in soon after college, like in the early '70s.   But recently he said, in response to someone mentioning some place like Pensacola, that he (Noory) hadn't been there in "almost 30 years" (or some similar number) since he was in Navy training.   Which I took to mean that he had gone in "30 years" ago, or circa 1981~82.

He has said he was in the Navy Reserve for 8 years and left as a Lt.-Commander.

The term usually mentioned is 9 years, and he left as a Lieutenant (assuming that he's telling the truth about any of this stuff).   In his first days of hosting "Coast," he related how he wished that he had (meaning that he hadn't) reached the rank of Lt. Cdr.
And why did he want that so much?   Because he thought it would have been cool to be called "Commander Noory" -- because James Bond was sometimes called "Commander Bond" in the movies.   I shit you not.   That was his motivation, so he said back around 2000.
Gosh, with motivation like that, I wonder why he didn't stay to reach the next rank....

I don't know for a fact but I suspect he was commissioned through the "Direct Commissioning Program"...

I had assumed that he went through OCS, but now in light of his supposedly going in after age 30 -- when he presumably was "established" (for better or worse) in his "broadcasting career" -- you may be right.

[punkinpie]

Now that I'm back from Phil Hendrie... I'm sorry I missed that...

Based on the last few Fridays I was expecting him to yell "syke!" after teasing the poor guy

[Shockwave]

I emailed Phil Hendrie saying that he should do George Noory bits with Johnson Jameson. 

Noory:  "What happened to Art"

Jameson:  "He flipped out... too busy with that Asian broad."

Noory:  "So you made a time machine, tell me about it."

Jameson: "I can travel in time and see different events."

Noory:  " West of the Rockies your on the air with  General Johnson Jameson."

Jameson: "Didn't you want to hear about my time machine??"

[Morgus]

Noory talking about a surprise at the end of the show tonight -
its probably his usual thing for St. Patrick's Day, some past guest sings an Irish song like "ole Danny Boy" 
Hopefully Noory himself won't sing again...

[Zelig]

Noory talking about a surprise at the end of the show tonight -
its probably his usual thing for St. Patrick's Day, some past guest sings an Irish song like "ole Danny Boy" 
Hopefully Noory himself won't sing again...

I stayed up for this?


Good thing I hid the gun from myself...

[Eddie Coyle]

I would have agreed, until recently.  I figured that he had gone in soon after college, like in the early '70s.   But recently he said, in response to someone mentioning some place like Pensacola, that he (Noory) hadn't been there in "almost 30 years" (or some similar number) since he was in Navy training.   Which I took to mean that he had gone in "30 years" ago, or circa 1981~82.

I feel foolish for assuming that he served in the 70's(the guy has a 6/4/50 DOB). It wouldn't be like Noory to sign up in time of an active war. Shit, it seems like he said "Vietnam's been over for 5 years, I guess it's safe to sign up now". Assuming he joined in 1981 or so, he must have panicked when Reagan sent the Marines into Lebanon in August of '82. "Oh no, I didn't figure on this happening!"

[11angeleyes11]

Noory talking about a surprise at the end of the show tonight -
its probably his usual thing for St. Patrick's Day, some past guest sings an Irish song like "ole Danny Boy" 
Hopefully Noory himself won't sing again...

You predicted right, it was Christian Wilde singing "ole Danny Boy".
I am, however, disappointed. (Trout-Lip Pout depiction)
I wanted to hear George's rendition.

[Agent : Orange]

      And you'll really show him by...continuing to listen.     Noory is in his 10th year at C2C, if you haven't figured out yet that he sucks, or keep coming back because you think show 3,000 is where he's finally going to hit his stride, then your problems are internal not external.

        Stop listening, stop calling, stop e-mailing, most importantly stop buying the shit Premiere sells. Hitting them in the pockets is the way only way to end Noory's "reign of error"
            And spiritually, Art's as far removed from C2C as Carson is from The Tonight Show. This C2C ain't his.

I strongly agree with this. The only way to get your message out is to vote with your dollars. That is the one thing guaranteed to make them listen.

Beckettm, sad to say, I think your letter probably went right into the trash bin after the first line, with a red "HATER" stamped across the top of it. Came off very strong and judgmental too soon. You gotta build to that

[aldousburbank]

This dude is either related to Noory, or is one of his biggest fans:



http://dfw.cbslocal.com/2012/03/16/aa-passenger-causes-disturbance-after-leaving-dfw-airport/

[margoloo]

Was looking for a site to see if I was the only one who thinks most of the guests on the show are Sofa King crazy.  As for the hosts? George panders to the worst kind of fear mongering and is a hot mess.  Saw him in person at a UFO conference in Atlantic City.  Ill prepared and didn't seem to care.  He thinks he is a national treasure.  The man is a total bore and afraid of his own shadow.  Rather than go to the other hosts posting site, I'll just vent right here.
Wells is a, the sky is falling, fundamentalist dunce.  How many times can a radio host go to dead air before it dawns on people he doesn't have a clue about what to say? Ian is a me me me, and more about me, tweet me tweet me, wind bag, who doesn't want a quest to out talk him. As for Knapp?  Can the rest and keep him. How about the new kid, what's his name?  That dumbfounded me.  My first thought was he must be sleeping with Noory to land a gig this big, and be so bad at it.  Sorry.  I don't know what is happening on that show but it is turning into outright drivel. Noory and most of the hosts should go.  Any chance of that happening?

[Morgus]

Was looking for a site to see if I was the only one who thinks most of the guests on the show are Sofa King crazy.  As for the hosts? George panders to the worst kind of fear mongering and is a hot mess.  Saw him in person at a UFO conference in Atlantic City.  Ill prepared and didn't seem to care.  He thinks he is a national treasure.  The man is a total bore and afraid of his own shadow.  Rather than go to the other hosts posting site, I'll just vent right here.
Wells is a, the sky is falling, fundamentalist dunce.  How many times can a radio host go to dead air before it dawns on people he doesn't have a clue about what to say? Ian is a me me me, and more about me, tweet me tweet me, wind bag, who doesn't want a quest to out talk him. As for Knapp?  Can the rest and keep him. How about the new kid, what's his name?  That dumbfounded me.  My first thought was he must be sleeping with Noory to land a gig this big, and be so bad at it.  Sorry.  I don't know what is happening on that show but it is turning into outright drivel. Noory and most of the hosts should go.  Any chance of that happening?

Excellent observations - right on.
Unfortunately Noory doesn't appear to be going anywhere since the network must love him and he does whatever they order him to do after nearly 10 years on the job.
Noory originally planned to retire at the end of this year but changed his mind and recently told a caller on the air that now he plans to NEVER RETIRE and he will stay in the chair hosting c2c until his last breath...

[PB the Deplorable]

... Noory originally planned to retire at the end of this year but changed his mind and recently told a caller on the air that now he plans to NEVER RETIRE and he will stay in the chair hosting c2c until his last breath...

With that comment, George was lying as usual.

What he meant to do was beg the PremRat suits to let him stay on for awhile 'please let me stay on as host until 2012 because I'm so innerested and such an expert in the Mayan Calendar stuff and want to do the reporting as we come up on it'.  As soon as he figured his job was safe he started lobbying for contract extensions.

[Morgus]

Noory appeared as one of the talking head so-called "experts" on the latest new episode of Ancient Aliens the other night.
But Noory's lack of knowledge about the ancient site in Bolivia that was the subject of the episode was clearly apparent - he mispronounced the name of the site, oops...

[PB the Deplorable]

So George was back on the latest Ancient Aliens episode this past week.  Season 4, episode 6 - The Mystery of Puma Punku. 

The people on the show are showing footage of the amazing structures, wondering who built it, what it's doing up high in the Andes, how it could have been done, the usual.  They are mostly marveling at the size of the stones, the precision of masonry, what it's purpose was, that sort of thing.  They didn't spend much time discussing who built it, other than to say no one knows, they said something about the the Incas telling the Spanish that it was built before they (the Incas) were there, and of course theorizing that 'aliens' may have built it. 

Enter George Noory.  He starts in right away assuming the worst.  Offering no evidence, no reason, just fear:

'There could have been an alien battle out there (pause), where they were using technology (pause), perhaps nuclear(pause), that blew up everything in the region.  That's very possible.  Something could have happened with our Earth's shield (pause), or the sun's rays came through at a certain time (pause), and just burned everything (pause), and obliterated it. 

'The only thing we know for sure is these people at Puma Punku are gone (pause),  we just don't know how (pause), or where (pause), they went'.

And he says it with his air of authority, as if there had to have been a catastrophe but we're just not sure which kind it was.  Nuclear?  Did George even ask if the place was radioactive?  No.  Or if there was any sign of burn marks, or any other evidence of explosions of a solar flare?  Of course not.  He doesn't even know to ask such things before making up some 'theory'.  What a dumb, lazy, paranoid, non-thinking fear peddling bastard he is. 

[PB the Deplorable]

Noory appeared as one of the talking head so-called "experts" on the latest new episode of Ancient Aliens the other night.
But Noory's lack of knowledge about the ancient site in Bolivia that was the subject of the episode was clearly apparent - he mispronounced the name of the site, oops...

Hey Morgus, you got in before me with this, and it was on TV several days ago.  Must be synchronicity since there are no coincidences.  'One Take' Noory sure seemed to be working hard to pronounce it properly, even though he couldn't quite manage it...

[coaster]

'There could have been an alien battle out there (pause), where they were using technology (pause), perhaps nuclear(pause), that blew up everything in the region.  That's very possible.

I wonder, has there ever been an episode of that show where someone doesnt mention a nuclear war in the ancient past? like that is even remotely possible... noory fits right in with the rest of the crazy people on that show.

[Sardondi]

...'There could have been an alien battle out there (pause), where they were using technology (pause), perhaps nuclear(pause), that blew up everything in the region.  That's very possible...

Or maybe they just strapped 4 Pratt & Whitney engines to Eleanor Roosevelt's ass, stuck a few bombs between her knees, and had her blow the hell out of the place from the air. Every bit as "possible" as what George suggests.

I despise and detest him with every ounce of my being. It makes people stupid just to hear the man.

[meanmug247]

Noory is a jackass. I hope he slips and smashes his mouth on a dirty public toilet.

[michio]

Was looking for a site to see if I was the only one who thinks most of the guests on the show are Sofa King crazy.  As for the hosts? George panders to the worst kind of fear mongering and is a hot mess.  Saw him in person at a UFO conference in Atlantic City.  Ill prepared and didn't seem to care.  He thinks he is a national treasure.  The man is a total bore and afraid of his own shadow.  Rather than go to the other hosts posting site, I'll just vent right here.
Wells is a, the sky is falling, fundamentalist dunce.  How many times can a radio host go to dead air before it dawns on people he doesn't have a clue about what to say? Ian is a me me me, and more about me, tweet me tweet me, wind bag, who doesn't want a quest to out talk him. As for Knapp?  Can the rest and keep him. How about the new kid, what's his name?  That dumbfounded me.  My first thought was he must be sleeping with Noory to land a gig this big, and be so bad at it.  Sorry.  I don't know what is happening on that show but it is turning into outright drivel. Noory and most of the hosts should go.  Any chance of that happening?

Indeed, Punnett is a Twitter pimp. There's more than one form of communication, such as mentioning more emails and fastblasts instead of being a "follow me! follow me!" Twitter pusher.  Ian's an intelligent man, but I, too,  feel he lets his intelligence overtake the guest's opportunity to speak at times, though I'd rather listen to him do that than not challenge the guest at all as he pandered to everything the guest had to say (see Noory). Listening to Ian is an equal portion of heaven and hell.

Your analysis of Wells is Right on the money. He talks the talk about his political party and religious preference neutrality but he's definitely not walking the walk. We get an overdose of religion from Noory, so we don't need an additional overdose from Wells. The final nail in the coffin was Wells having Alex Jones on to spew his paranoid schizophrenic viewpoint about that conservative Breitbart guy who perished from high stress and a bad heart (has that ever happened before?!).  Other radio hosts would have laughed Jones off of the show. Not on the "I just want the truth" program where the preposterous steps to the front of the line, as long as it's chock full of conspiratorial fear complimented by unsubstantiated conjecture designed to stoke the flames of paranoia. Of course, Wells is making an effort to emulate his mentor and captain of the mothership, Commandeer (sic) Noory. I don't know how they manage to keep that descending ship on the air without crashing and burning.

I'm listening to Knapp and thanking the whatever that we have at least one host who isn't a promiscuous propagator of egotistical, uneducated and outright dangerous opinions.

[testpattern]

What's the deal with Knapp? He tries to announce/backannounce every song like a top 40 jock... kind of weird for a talk show.

[Eddie Coyle]

What's the deal with Knapp? He tries to announce/backannounce every song like a top 40 jock... kind of weird for a talk show.

It's his inner Casey Kasem, I don't mind it, especially compared to the boob from Monday to Friday who wouldn't know Lennon from Lenin(he knows neither,actually)

[Ben Shockley]

What's the deal with Knapp? He tries to announce/backannounce every song like a top 40 jock... kind of weird for a talk show.

          It's his inner Casey Kasem, I don't mind it, especially compared to the boob from Monday to Friday who wouldn't know Lennon from Lenin(he knows neither,actually)

My sentiments exactly.   Knapp respectfully acknowledges things; Noory is wantonly oblivious of everything.

And coincidental that you mention the inner Casey Kasem.   Some time ago, I opined about the Kasem - Noory connection in another forum.  Here it is:

...Lately I've been listening to old "American Top 40" shows from the '70s.   Hosted by Kemal "Casey" (remember that name?) Kasem, the Detroit-born reputed "friend" of the Noor.  The jingles on and ads for that show really played up the personal angle toward Kasem, informally calling the show "Casey Counts 'Em Down" and "Casey's Coast to Coast."   The guy had/has a sickeningly overdone radio voice, by the way --very proto Noory.  Then years later, Noory gets the shot at a show called --what?-- "Coast to Coast."  How could he help but to try to make it all about him?  [Jingle] "Georgiee's Coast to Co-o-oast!"  He has to live up to and surpass Kasem's lead; imagine the chiding he takes from mom and dad Noory for being on so late that their geriatric Lebanese friends don't believe that their boy Georgie really has a national show, like that wonderful Kasem boy had!!!

Kasem made the show "his" by pretending (given unlimited production time and god knows how big a staff) to know and expound on bits of very-obvious pop-music trivia; in fairness to the Noor, I guess he does take the occasional non-scripted call, so his Team does occasionally have to do some 'net searching on the fly to try to make Georgie look "knowledgeable."  Georgie sez:   "Bwowee, if Ahyy heyud a week to russurch one cwall owur leddur each week, Ahyy cwuld lwook eyuz smwart eyuz Cyasey! Dwarn hyim!"

Kasem would read letters to the show (i.e., to "him), all of which began "Dear Casey," and which were usually nauseatingly feel-good and/or wanna-be heart-tugging, either wanting to share with the other folks at the campfire through, or seeking the benediction of, wise and kindly Uncle Casey.  All about him.
Callers to the Noor are (I'd bet anything) coached by the screeners to begin with "How are you?" (the live radio version of "Dear George"), and so many proceed to babble and expose their ignorance, while sharing their wonderment with, or seeking some sort of salvation from, the perpetually-amazed yet all-knowing Noor.   All about him.

Kasem presented "Pop Music" as an esoteric world of amazing secrets, and himself as the Great Explorer-Mediator, to anyone un-hip enough back then to buy it that way.    But for all his "expertise," Kasem so often sounded befuddled and like he was doing a cold read as he would read the names of songs or bands.   Downright "square," reading those post-psychedelia-, disco-era names in a voice designed to soothe granny.   Patronizing too, usually saying "the band XXXX" or even "a band called...XXXX" so you, dumb listener, would understand that "XXXX" was the name of a band and not some random noun he had dropped into the sentence.   There's a whole heap of Proto-Noorishness in all that.

In sum, Noory is trying to create the illusion of the nationwide funsy campfire (excuse me: "keeyumpfwayur"), with him as the Scoutmaster genial and wise, who nonetheless never fails to share in the wonderment of all his simple little charges [which ain't easy, when you're never listening!].   The insertion of his phony life details are supposed to make us, by way of the guests, think he is right there with us in all we do.  You know, like God -- omnipresent, omniscient.   It just occurs to me that phony-ass phony-voiced Kasem is somehow his model in this-- consciously or not.*

Noory's in the odd position of trying to seem like a "man of the people" to the rubes on the radio while also trying to look enough like a jet-setter to fool the folks who see him at the Greek restaurant.   Like Groucho Marx once observed about club memberships, Noory is just smart enough to know that he doesn't want too much contact with anyone marginal enough to think he's "great" in any way.


* What do you suppose Georgie thinks of "Casey," consciously or not?  What might he think that name befitting of...?