George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Alienmojo]

Will someone tell these frigging jokers that this Vostok stuff is pretty much the plot of Who Goes There? / The Thing From Another World / John Carpenter's The Thing.

Sounds like it to me.

[Nick el Ass]

Noory's pal Billy Mumy dressed up in 1957 as Zorro, just like Noory claimed he did as a little kid in the 50s:

It really does at times sound like El Noro just steals other people's lives because he knows he is so lame, and he needs to make it sound like he is somewhat interested in the stuff Coast to Coast listeners (all five) might like.

[wr250]

It really does at times sound like El Noro just steals other people's lives because he knows he is so lame, and he needs to make it sound like he is somewhat interested in the stuff Coast to Coast listeners (all five) might like.

[ItsOver]

Ah, yes.  Dave as El Zero and Tommy as Sgt. Garcia.  Good times, good times.

[21st Century Man]

I'm shocked.  No Tom Jones bumper last night. No Jorch tonight.  Thank God.

[Jocko Johnson]

The following is a list of documented George Noory quotes. Known as "Nooryisms"... these non sequitur quips and half-witted, meandering ramblings serve only to exacerbate my feelings of disappointment over what has happened since Noory took over Coast to Coast AM. If you happen to know of others and you can document when they occurred, please post them in a reply to this topic.


"Could it be a portal?"

***********

"I don't think there's any doubt."

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"Let me tell you even I have learned some things here I didn't know about."
From Jul 19 2007. Following a round table discussion on trans-humanism.

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"How 'bout a dramatic topic... trans-humanism... you know, when you just think of the word trans-humanism, you dudint think that it's that exciting but it really is!"
From July 19 2007. He really did say dudn't.

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"If we all had our own solar system, we wouldn't have to worry about that."
From July 19, 2007. During a discussion on solar energy.

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"Did you hear today they just found Saturn's 60th moon? I will give you one million dollars of the network's money, James, if you, in the next two minutes, can name all sixty."
From July 19, 2007.

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George Noory: "Dr. Leir's website is www.alienscalpel.com. Ooh, that's scary sounding. Alien scalpel."

Dr. Roger Leir: "Well, you know me George, I don't try to scare people."

George Noory: "Yeah, with those fang teeth of yours?"
July 6, 2007.

************

"If you raised a baby and beat it and kicked it and yelled at it, it would turn out to be a mean baby?"
July 19, 2007.

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"Jim, humanity has always been looking for ways to improve on our suffering and improve on disease, aging and involuntary death..."
July 19, 2007.

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"You know, Ray, everytime I think of things in the future, I think of the Jetsons."
July 19, 2007.

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"Well before too long we'll all be cyborgs won't we?"
July 19, 2007.

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"I would guess your mind is part of who you are."
July 19, 2007.

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"If you had a chance to go back to Skull and Bones right now, as a little fly on the ointment, so to speak, what would you be looking for?"

************

"Gosh!"

************

I've been fascinated by this my entire life.

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Al-ja-reeza.

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"Things are never as they seem.

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I should write a book. I've always wanted to write a book. I should write a book about kids who see dead people.

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"Wouldn't it be amazing if one day they discover a buried UFO and flipped a switch and on it goes?" (Another non-sequitur.)

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I don't believe in coincidences.

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There are no coincidences.

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Coincidences don't exist.

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Have I ever mentioned that I don't believe in coincidences?

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OK, Canadian. Don't knock our administration.

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I really do believe 2012 is coming. What do you think about that?

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"Well, the group mind experiments I've done on the show have been rather tentative because I don't know what the heck I'm doing.

***********

George: "It would be great if Saddam just left Iraq, don't you think?"

Hal: "Yes, but he's not going to do that. Like last time, he's going to put his citizens in harm's way, use them as human shields, and wreak destruction on the oil fields."

George: "That's kind of selfish, isn't it?"

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"Yeah, March 3rd is a full moon. When our boys go in that'd be the best time, because they'll really need the light to see." (On the Iraq invasion.)

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"I truly believe there are other solar systems out there. I really do."

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That'll make you want to think.

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"Just let it go. Don't worry about it. If you screw up, no one will ever know." (George talking to his board operator during a break when his mic was accidentally left open.)

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A story is worth a thousand words.

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Richard C. Hoagland: So he used the Star Wars theme the night before the God damn war started! Can I say that on here?

George Noory: No.

Richard C. Hoagland: Oh. OK.

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"That's got to be the worst luck I've ever heard of... in a very long time."

***********

I was jumping over chairs and knocking them over with my back feet."

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"Yeah. Pretty scary. But has anyone considered the people that live underground? (Referring to the Sounds From Hell clip.)

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"Lex has done it again. I don't know how Lex does it." (Referring to listener-submitted photos on the website.)

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"Oh, yeah."
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Sure.
That's right.
Uh huh.
Gee.
Ha ha. That?s true.
Yeah.
I was just going to say...
Sure, yeah.
Gosh, he comes up with some great stuff.
(Noory's interactions with Michio Kaku in April of 2003.)

***********

"He's dedicated to finding the 'Theory of Almost Everything.'"
(Referring to Michio Kaku.)

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"Did he have.....Lamb Legs?"
(Referring to a half-man, half-animal thing a caller said was chasing her.)

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"You know, you sound exactly like Don Johnson."
(Immediately following a lengthy monologue by guest Zeph Daniel.)

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Are they called sand scripts because they were written on tablets of sand?
(To Michael Cremo, referring to the Sanskrit language.)

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Chucacabra.

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"Do you think asteroids have a brain and know which side of the planet to crash into?"

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"You'll know how advanced they are by the amount of graffiti in the tunnels.
(Referring to Mars.)

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Wagering war...

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"I've got to ask you something, and this is going to be a very profound question. I want you to think for a moment, if you haven't already, and... oh, I guess you probably already have...

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Can you add hydrogen to, say, gasoline... or does that defeat the purpose?"

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"I want to go back to the dark ages and find out what the reason was. I think it was an asteroid or a meteor."

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"Elderly Thomas Edison was elderly."
March 28, 2007.

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"Bigfoot may well be an extraterrestrial, because... remember Chewbacca?"

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"We're not talking about dead people. We're talking about the aliens... of their ghosts!"

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"Well, with prophecy you got to see what happens."

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"You do something annual every year, don't you?"

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"What I do is create an aura of mystery."

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"Sometimes I wish the aliens would abduct me and crown me as their leader."

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"Who or what was the Great Pyramid?"

Snoory is an Enema.

[Jocko Johnson]

"Can we re-open the Kennedy assassination investigation?  I want to know the truth. If it's out there I'll find it, we deserve to know."

A compilation of some of the...'I am a brilliant, important guy' shit that snoory says. What a douche nozzle.

[ItsOver]

I'm shocked.  No Tom Jones bumper last night. No Jorch tonight.  Thank God.

I got to "Heaven," Bryan Adams, before I had to turn off the radio.  I was out of Pepto Bismol.  LMH must have been plunging screwdrivers in her ears by that point.

[3OctaveFart]

What are the chances George gets ripped again tonight and posts here?

[yumyumtree]

So this guest claims that the CIA controls all media in the U.S. How do people live like that?  I mean, honestly, how does one get through the day, believing some of the stuff these people believe?

George gets one of his advertisers who sells prepper supplies to comment on Baltimore.  Nice move.

[yumyumtree]

I'm shocked.  No Tom Jones bumper last night. No Jorch tonight.  Thank God.

Yes, but there was the Scorpions song.

[b_dubb]

Noory's ridiculous comments about the Baltimore riots reveal the level of his "deep" thinking.

"Something has to be done"

*** yawn ***

Dick Cavett he is not

[starrmtn001]

I'm shocked.  No Tom Jones bumper last night. No Jorch tonight.  Thank God.

[Humilia Lepus Foramen]

I'm looking forward to the upcoming May 5th show with Jaime Maussan.  He's rarely been on Coast but is pretty big in Latin America, it'll be interesting to hear what he has to say.

[Dateline]

Norry's idea of "Wanna Take a Ride" is engaging a tricycle with training wheels.

[aldousburbank]

George is so boring that they had to give Momma Gnoory strong coffee during her labor and delivery.

[Usagi]

[Kojiro]

The topic is a frozen lake in Antarctica and the bumper music is about a jungle and a lion?  Errrmkay.

I'm surprised none of you caught Noory's questions about if there were "indigenous humans" or "polar bears" in Antarctica. The awkward silences from his guest that preceded both of his responses explaining that no, there were no Antarctican natives and polar bears were a purely Arctic animal were classic. I could almost imagine somewhere
a record coming to an abrupt and sudden stop.

[Dateline]

Internet chatter has revealed the name of Norry's authorized memoirs:  "Someone is Sucking Somewhere."

Carry on.

[bateman]

The topic is a frozen lake in Antarctica and the bumper music is about a jungle and a lion?  Errrmkay.

Priceless.

[wr250]

Priceless.

guest: i dont see isis being active on us soil
nooron: i hope your wrong
guest: i hope your....wrong?

[Beelzebubbelah]

Welcome To My Nightmare is probably my favorite album of his though Love It To Death and Billion Dollar Babies are great to as is Killer.  I'm not really familiar with Flush The Fashion.  I'll have to give it a listen if it is up on youtube.

=================================================
'Allo!
Still with you,after yesterday i was unable to see site...
Also missed most of Mz.Howe(sp)'s appearance before,but caught last night's w/out Mr.Noory.
This fan schtick for Mr.Furnier is disapointing.
Originally the front man of the Ear-Wigs,Minister's son Vincent..
Fell in with 'star-puppetteer/hidden hand'Franklin P.Zappa.
The result:
"Pretties for You"with unfortunate fashion victim Vinnie in "Mothers{of Invention},A.K.A.'Kapt.Glass-Pack & The Magic Mufflers"styled" Drag.
Ugly in Pink,Mr.Furnier allowed Zappa/Mafia linked Reprise Records production team...
To include his?non-hit single on an "Sampler"called,"Zappaed"
which also featured the"G.T.O.'s{Pamela Des Barres}"and Don Van Vliet{Kapt.Beefheart},zappa art director for Barking Pumpkin...
The rest is history..
Drag performances backed by an anonymous band,street-style zappaed performances blacked out on an stew of drugs and booze..
Favourable blacklisting by "Auntie Agony"Collumns nationally.
On,to infamy and chronic chirrosis,rehab,etc.
His'Music'sux,and is laced with pro-jebus subliminals.
"B_B"
PS:Don't try this at home,Kidz.

[Jorch Einstein]

=================================================
'Allo!
Still with you,after yesterday i was unable to see site...
Also missed most of Mz.Howe(sp)'s appearance before,but caught last night's w/out Mr.Noory.
This fan schtick for Mr.Furnier is disapointing.
Originally the front man of the Ear-Wigs,Minister's son Vincent..
Fell in with 'star-puppetteer/hidden hand'Franklin P.Zappa.
The result:
"Pretties for You"with unfortunate fashion victim Vinnie in "Mothers{of Invention},A.K.A.'Kapt.Glass-Pack & The Magic Mufflers"styled" Drag.
Ugly in Pink,Mr.Furnier allowed Zappa/Mafia linked Reprise Records production team...
To include his?non-hit single on an "Sampler"called,"Zappaed"
which also featured the"G.T.O.'s{Pamela Des Barres}"and Don Van Vliet{Kapt.Beefheart},zappa art director for Barking Pumpkin...
The rest is history..
Drag performances backed by an anonymous band,street-style zappaed performances blacked out on an stew of drugs and booze..
Favourable blacklisting by "Auntie Agony"Collumns nationally.
On,to infamy and chronic chirrosis,rehab,etc.
His'Music'sux,and is laced with pro-jebus subliminals.
"B_B"
PS:Don't try this at home,Kidz.

A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous.

[Nick el Ass]

guest: i dont see isis being active on us soil
nooron: i hope your wrong
guest: i hope your....wrong?

Not the first time he has said something like about ISIS. I think he actually wants them to be here so he can join up after all he is already a terrorist to people's ears.

[Nick el Ass]

I'm surprised none of you caught Noory's questions about if there were "indigenous humans" or "polar bears" in Antarctica. The awkward silences from his guest that preceded both of his responses explaining that no, there were no Antarctican natives and polar bears were a purely Arctic animal were classic. I could almost imagine somewhere
a record coming to an abrupt and sudden stop.

Dave is a moron.

[pate]

I am attempting to thought channel *(television) Dave igNooron...

I kahnechct!!!!

(I shall be brief, this thought channel is way retarded)

::::

...Dave is not mie...

...QWhy do yew focus on Wwcothc?///...

...No enfudgeds with toomeric, the wwctoch...

...herd wonce toomeric didna hae a double-sh...

...ismah fayevhoorite mothion Peruvian...

:::

ERMAGAQWD!  I canna channel this dumbass anymore...  it huts, the pain...

(I add graphical illusion)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhZuYNUj4Lw

[pate]

Not my testimonial, but apparently some agree:

Noory's team doesn't ensure that his radio show meets industry standards.

I stand, with the Prosecution....

I will give final statement when the jury is ready.

[pate]

Dear Dave,

it is purty far bad the lengths....  Ah nefermynd....

You are awful, and to laugh at yew I go to suck lenghths, (yew spyull it "lawyers")


Yew R A hack? Rn't yew>?

[pate]

You have worshippers, sir:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7onjPl-TWQw

what a moroni....

[b_dubb]

You have worshippers, sir:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7onjPl-TWQw

what a moroni....

Ummmm huh?