George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[zeebo]

He sure did.

Odds of George making it through the entire lyrics of Octopus's Garden are like winning the lottery, then taking every dollar you won and winning another lottery with it.

[Major Ed Damien]

As I remember, on that show I mentioned, when the guest talked about Dickens, all Noory could offer was "Oliver!  That was a great musical - and they made a pretty nice movie out of it too."

I remember that show.  Jorch always has to go full Ebert whenever literature is discussed.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

You wouldn't like the new ones, Archie's holed up in a crack-house, Veronica's a hoarder, Betty & Jughead started their own home shopping network.  It's just not the same.

That only makes me pine for the old ones more.

[Nick el Ass]

Wise men say only George Noory sucks, and I can't turn off the radio faaaaast enough.

[21st Century Man]

Did Jorch just say "Abbey Rose" in earnest?

That's it. Fuck this. I'm done for the night.

Yes, he did and if he ever talks about the movie Audrey Rose, he'll probably say Aubrey Road.  I doubt Noory ever owned a Beatles album.  He seemed to lean towards musical soundtracks like Carousel, Seven Brides For Seven Brothers and Oklahoma.  Totally squaresville.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0VdFi8p_wM

[Major Ed Damien]

That only makes me pine for the old ones more.

Do you remember that one where Jughead got served all those tiny portions of food to eat at the diner and asked for a postage stamp to read with it?

[Major Ed Damien]

Yes, he did and if he ever talks about the movie Audrey Rose, he'll probably say Aubrey Road.  I doubt Noory ever owned a Beatles album.  He seemed to lean towards musical soundtracks like Carousel, Seven Brides For Seven Brothers and Oklahoma.  Totally squaresville.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0VdFi8p_wM

I also see Jorch getting all wrapped up in Englebert Humperdinck.

[Major Ed Damien]

What the hell would Elvis have said to Jorch?  And Elvis was witty.

"Say, what's that on your head, daddio?  It looks like your pet raccoon had a heart attack."

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

Do you remember that one where Jughead got served all those tiny portions of food to eat at the diner and asked for a postage stamp to read with it?

No, but I remember the one where an artist painted Mr. Lodge's portrait from a photo, so Mr. Lodge sent the artist a picture of the money he owed.

[zeebo]

Do you remember that one where Jughead got served all those tiny portions of food to eat at the diner and asked for a postage stamp to read with it?

Haha that's great.  The one I remember was when he said you could go neck-deep in his new pool, but turns out you had to lie down in it to accomplish that.

[Major Ed Damien]

No, but I remember the one where an artist painted Mr. Lodge's portrait from a photo, so Mr. Lodge sent the artist a picture of the money he owed.

Ha!  I remember that one!

[Major Ed Damien]

Haha that's great.  The one I remember was when he said you could go neck-deep in his new pool, but turns out you had to lie down in it to accomplish that.

LOL

Jughead was like a Marx brother.

[Nick el Ass]

What the hell would Elvis have said to Jorch?  And Elvis was witty.

"Say, what's that on your head, daddio?  It looks like your pet raccoon had a heart attack."

Elvis would have just done a couple of karate chops on Jorch.

[Major Ed Damien]

I made a guy who worked at the post office counter mad.

You could vote on which Elvis stamp you wanted issued -- either "Young Elvis" or "Later Elvis."

I asked the guy if I could to do a write-in vote for "Dead Elvis Lying Next to His Toilet."

[Mind Flayer Monk]

Quote from tonight's show:

GNXGuest: "WHhIoatwt dawob ypoour trobthitbablynhk whearaas tttbreahxke baevgiiannning ohf Rotcek alnd Roll?.."

as our skilled moderator George leads this group into talking all over each other.

[Major Ed Damien]

"He's a hunka hunka burnin' Jorch."

"He's just a hunka hunka burnin' Jorch."

"Hunka hunka pizza roll burnin' his throat."

"Hunka hunka dumbass, dumb as a goat."

[Nick el Ass]

"He's a hunka hunka burnin' Jorch."

"He's just a hunka hunka burnin' Jorch."

"Hunka hunka pizza roll burnin' his throat."

"Hunka hunka dumbass, dumb as a goat."

No hunka hunka burning suck?!?

[Nick el Ass]

Elvis met Darth Vader, and not Nixon get it right.

[Major Ed Damien]

No hunka hunka burning suck?!?

He's justa hunka hunka burnin' suck.

He's justa hunka hunka don't give a fuck.

He's justa hunka hunka dumb as a duck.

[Nick el Ass]

How could anyone tell it wasn't Elvis in the casket when the one pic was from someone who snuck in a camera, and took one in which you could only see his face.

[Scully]

I'm wondering if Jorch has Tourette's.  I was following the guest's earnest statement about what Carl Perkins had to say about whether Elvis was truly in his casket, but Simple George blurted out something about "why do people want their heros to stay alive?" before the guest could finish his sentence.

I could just have slapped the Nooron!!!!!! 

[21st Century Man]

Jim Backus from Rebel Without A Cause is dead too, Jorch, as is Dennis Hopper, Ian Wolfe, Edward Platt, and William Hopper. The list goes on and on.  I'm surprised you didn't mention them , Jorch.     Of course all of these people were rather old but you'd miss that point.  Wouldn't you, Jorch?

[goldendeal]

I'm wondering if Jorch has Tourette's.  I was following the guest's earnest statement about what Carl Perkins had to say about whether Elvis was truly in his casket, but Simple George blurted out something about "why do people want their heros to stay alive?" before the guest could finish his sentence.

I could just have slapped the Nooron!!!!!! 

Jorch has interrupted or talked over the guest more than a few times tonight...once he totally cut the guy off in mid-sentence.

[Major Ed Damien]

Jim Backus from Rebel Without A Cause is dead too, Jorch as is Dennis Hopper, Ian Wolfe, Edward Platt, and William Hopper. The list goes on and on.  I'm surprised you didn't mention them , Jorch.     Of course all of these people were rather old but you'd miss that point.  Wouldn't you, Jorch?

Jim Backus was the voice of Mr. Magoo.

You know, it's kinda nice that when Jorch is dead there won't be any doubt about it.

[Nick el Ass]

I'm wondering if Jorch has Tourette's.  I was following the guest's earnest statement about what Carl Perkins had to say about whether Elvis was truly in his casket, but Simple George blurted out something about "why do people want their heros to stay alive?" before the guest could finish his sentence.

I could just have slapped the Nooron!!!!!! 

I'm a huge Elvis fan, and wish Knapp would have been the one to do this interview... and not Jorch. The guy could pull of a decent one if he tried.

[goldendeal]

Jorch's new book with Richard Belzer   "Elvis is alive , but I think Bigfoot is dead"

[21st Century Man]

Jim Backus was the voice of Mr. Magoo.

You know, it's kinda nice that when Jorch is dead there won't be any doubt about it.

I dunno.  He's pretty much brain-dead now and he still keeps going and going.  Sorta like the Energizer bunny.

[Scully]

I haven't listened to most of the show, thank goodness, because I'm sure I would have been mentally slapping George many times!  He really, really doesn't seem to have any control of his tongue at all.

Tell me again how it is that he gets paid half a mil to be a radio host on what used to be the best radio show on the air. 

[goldendeal]

Jim Backus was the voice of Mr. Magoo.

You know, it's kinda nice that when Jorch is dead there won't be any doubt about it.

But his wig will go on with a life of it's own long after Jorch is gone, it will host the show without him.

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

Jorch has interrupted or talked over the guest more than a few times tonight...once he totally cut the guy off in mid-sentence.

He hears something, looks it up on Wikipedia, waits for the guest to take a breath, and then blurts it out whether it's still relevant or not.  George has mentioned how much easier it is now to look things up during an interview, but it certainly makes for poor hosting when it becomes an excuse for being intellectually lazy.