George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[WildCard]

I'm about 50 pages behind on this thread, but this insultation of P. T. Barnum has to stop!
[attach=1]
"Often referred to as the "Prince of Humbugs," Barnum saw nothing wrong in entertainers or vendors using hype (or "humbug," as he termed it) in promotional material, as long as the public was getting value for money. However, he was contemptuous of those who made money through fraudulent deceptions, especially the spiritualist mediums popular in his day, testifying against noted spirit photographer William H. Mumler in his trial for fraud. Prefiguring illusionists Harry Houdini and James Randi, Barnum exposed "the tricks of the trade" used by mediums to cheat the bereaved. In The Humbugs of the World, he offered $500 to any medium who could prove power to communicate with the dead."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P._T._Barnum

[Dateline]

Norry, you may not have asked for it, but you got it.  Next time you are at your favorite restaurant in the Lou, or have a weekend barbeque, or just a family get together, you have these rat recipes to try or share. 

Preparation:

•Blow the rat skin with a blowtorch.
•Leave rats to cool down.
•When they are cool enough, clean the rest of the skin with a steel wool.
•Eviscerate the rats and split them.
•Put all the good rat parts in a jar, with the fresh peppers, herbs and oil.
•Leave this for half an hour in the fridge.
•Deep-fry until brown in a mixture of butter and peanut oil.
•Serve hot with some crunchy peanuts.
More Rats Recipes

Bordeaux Grilled Rats
Skin and eviscerate rats that live in wine cellars. Brush with a thick sauce that combines olive oil and crushed shallots. Grill over a fire of broken wine barrels.

Stewed Cane Rat
Skin and eviscerate the rat and split it lengthwise. Fry until brown in a mixture of butter and peanut oil. Cover with water, add tomatoes or tomato puree, hot red peppers, and salt. Simmer the rat until tender and serve with rice.

Creamed Mice Skin, gut and wash some fat mice without removing their heads. Cover them in a pot with ethyl alcohol and marinate 2 hours. Dice a piece of salt pork or sowbelly and cook it slowly to extract the fat. Drain the mice, dredge them thoroughly in a mixture of flour, pepper, and salt, and fry slowly in the rendered fat for about 5 minutes. Add a cup of alcohol and 6 to 8 cloves, cover and simmer for 15 minutes. Prepare a cream sauce, transfer the sauteed mice to it, and warm them in it for about 10 minutes before serving.

From Canadian naturalist and conservationist Farley Mowatt:
Drain the mice, dredge them thoroughly in a mixture of flour, pepper and salt, and fry slowly in the rendered fat for about five minutes. Add a cup of alcohol and 6-8 cloves, cover and simmer for 15 minutes. Prepare a cream sauce, transfer the mice to it and warm them in it for about 10 minutes before serving.

[21st Century Man]

I'm about 50 pages behind on this thread, but this insultation of P. T. Barnum has to stop!
[attach=1]
"Often referred to as the "Prince of Humbugs," Barnum saw nothing wrong in entertainers or vendors using hype (or "humbug," as he termed it) in promotional material, as long as the public was getting value for money. However, he was contemptuous of those who made money through fraudulent deceptions, especially the spiritualist mediums popular in his day, testifying against noted spirit photographer William H. Mumler in his trial for fraud. Prefiguring illusionists Harry Houdini and James Randi, Barnum exposed "the tricks of the trade" used by mediums to cheat the bereaved. In The Humbugs of the World, he offered $500 to any medium who could prove power to communicate with the dead."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P._T._Barnum

I stand corrected. PT can stop turning over in his grave.

[albrecht]

PT Barnum was a genius in his marketing and brought a lot of entertainment to people and left a large legacy. The exact opposite of Norry.

ps: BenGen is still around but now called Freeplay Energy Ltd and now London-based. However the invetor "Bayliss lost control of his design when Baygen became Freeplay which has reverted to a cheaper disposable battery-powered radio." So a totally legit company that actually produced some good products and won awards, again, unlike the products Norry hawks.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freeplay_Energy
-GNS

[Robert1972]

Look a new book by George and Richard Belzer about Malaysian airlines. It's called "Someone's Hiding Something". Or would that be sumones hidin sumthin.  Just saw this on the website.  I'm sure it's filled with a plethora of facts

[qaddisin]

Look a new book by George and Richard Belzer about Malaysian airlines. It's called "Someone's Hiding Something". Or would that be sumones hidin sumthin.  Just saw this on the website.  I'm sure it's filled with a plethora of facts

This confuses me. Richard Belzer seems like an intelligent human being, so why would he deign to co-author a book with a man who has little to no understanding of the concept of syntax. Because if the book had just been written by Richard Belzer, I might have been slightly more interested in reading it (inasmuch as I care about the subject, and have never read any of Belzer's other books). But Noorifying it has removed any and all desire I had to pick it up.  Did his publisher say "Richard, you need to work with this Dave Norrie that hosts the late night radio show that hawks Bigfoot dung miracle cures. He knows a whole lot about this subject!"

[Major Ed Damien]

I stand corrected. PT can stop turning over in his grave.

Yeah, sorry, P.T.

You were a fair businessman and always gave good value for the customer's money.  You wouldn't be remembered so fondly if you weren't -- nor have a circus still traveling around the country with half its name as yours.  You tried to expose the types of frauds who even today show up on Jorch Noory's show as guests and advertisers.

And, by God, you also knew that there was a midget born every minute who needed to be dressed up in a spiffy military costume with a jaunty little hat.  He could either be a general or a tiny hotel doorman.

Sorry again, P.T.

[Jorch Einstein]

Jorch would have made a great sideshow exhibit. The black rat on his head has a highter IQ than he does. Jorch could engage in philosphical debates with the black rat on his head, and lose, to the delight of audiences the world over.

[nextgen.fm]

The Northeast is "dipping" out after another storm.

Welcome back you blithering idiot.

Oh george lol...

[nextgen.fm]

Norry, you may not have asked for it, but you got it.  Next time you are at your favorite restaurant in the Lou, or have a weekend barbeque, or just a family get together, you have these rat recipes to try or share. 

Preparation:

•Blow the rat skin with a blowtorch.
•Leave rats to cool down.
•When they are cool enough, clean the rest of the skin with a steel wool.
•Eviscerate the rats and split them.
•Put all the good rat parts in a jar, with the fresh peppers, herbs and oil.
•Leave this for half an hour in the fridge.
•Deep-fry until brown in a mixture of butter and peanut oil.
•Serve hot with some crunchy peanuts.
More Rats Recipes

Bordeaux Grilled Rats
Skin and eviscerate rats that live in wine cellars. Brush with a thick sauce that combines olive oil and crushed shallots. Grill over a fire of broken wine barrels.

Stewed Cane Rat
Skin and eviscerate the rat and split it lengthwise. Fry until brown in a mixture of butter and peanut oil. Cover with water, add tomatoes or tomato puree, hot red peppers, and salt. Simmer the rat until tender and serve with rice.

Creamed Mice Skin, gut and wash some fat mice without removing their heads. Cover them in a pot with ethyl alcohol and marinate 2 hours. Dice a piece of salt pork or sowbelly and cook it slowly to extract the fat. Drain the mice, dredge them thoroughly in a mixture of flour, pepper, and salt, and fry slowly in the rendered fat for about 5 minutes. Add a cup of alcohol and 6 to 8 cloves, cover and simmer for 15 minutes. Prepare a cream sauce, transfer the sauteed mice to it, and warm them in it for about 10 minutes before serving.

From Canadian naturalist and conservationist Farley Mowatt:
Drain the mice, dredge them thoroughly in a mixture of flour, pepper and salt, and fry slowly in the rendered fat for about five minutes. Add a cup of alcohol and 6-8 cloves, cover and simmer for 15 minutes. Prepare a cream sauce, transfer the mice to it and warm them in it for about 10 minutes before serving.

Rofl, you really had me going

Creamed mice skin?! 

[Falkie2013]

I've thought of getting a shirt made up with a picture of a rat on a plate with formal tableware and the caption :

O-fish-ul George Noory ah-proved rat eater

and 

then crowd source it so everyone on BG can wear one in a group picture at our annual charity spaghetti, crab & rat feed.

Say $40 bucks. All you can eat.

[Major Ed Damien]

Jorch would have made a great sideshow exhibit. The black rat on his head has a highter IQ than he does. Jorch could engage in philosphical debates with the black rat on his head, and lose, to the delight of audiences the world over.

P.T. Barnum might have stuck him in a cage along with a sign reading: 

"See the Human Ape!  Not a man!  Not a monkey!  Watch him start a vicious fight over the contents of his nose!  He grunts!  He sings!  Atop his head sits his friend, the dark rodent!  Listen to him engage the small mammal in debates concerning the vital questions of our age!  His buffoonery knows no bounds!  His nonsense, no frontier!  You will scream with laughter!  He's the Missing Link between other missing links!  He eats rats for dinner!"

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

I've thought of getting a shirt made up with a picture of a rat on a plate with formal tableware and the caption :

O-fish-ul George Noory ah-proved rat eater

and 

then crowd source it so everyone on BG can wear one in a group picture at our annual charity spaghetti, crab & rat feed.

Say $40 bucks. All you can eat.

That's my grocery budget for like a month.

[Major Ed Damien]

"He claims a life of no coincidence!  He believes Noah to have been a genetic scientist!  Your money cheerfully returned should you not laugh!"

[PB the Deplorable]

P.T. Barnum might have stuck him in a cage along with a sign ...

Step right this way folks, for the suckiest show on earth.

Abshuhlootlee no refunds

[albrecht]

C2C is like some cheap county fair side-show. Norry could be the intelligible, mumbling geek biting the heads off chickens, sorry, rats.

In the tent right next to the "Numbers Lady" dressed up in gypsy garb and tells your fortune (for every lady there is a man in your future, for every man there is some money or new job around the corner. It is right in the cards, er, numbers.) Somewhere there would be a barker selling tonics that will cure what ails ya yelling out C-A-R-N-I-V-O-R-A!
-GNS

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

C2C is like some cheap county fair side-show. Norry could be the intelligible, mumbling geek biting the heads off chickens, sorry, rats.

In the tent right next to the "Numbers Lady" dressed up in gypsy garb and tells your fortune (for every lady there is a man in your future, for every man there is some money or new job around the corner. It is right in the cards, er, numbers.) Somewhere there would be a barker selling tonics that will cure what ails ya yelling out C-A-R-N-I-V-O-R-A!
-GNS

Reported.  Needs to be added to the Nooryland Amusement Park thread.

[ItsOver]

Rofl, you really had me going

Creamed mice skin?!

Jorch needs to include my favorite in his next cookbook, rat-on-a-stick.

[Dateline]

The next project is a DVD series entitled "Somebody's Cookin Sumptin".

Norry and his cooking assistant will be in the studio Cookin between segments.  It will air on the Foodee Channel.

The first DVD will of course feature tasty rat recipes.   

Those rats-on-a-stick make my mouth water.

[ACE of CLUBS]

C2C is like some cheap county fair side-show. Norry could be the intelligible, mumbling geek biting the heads off chickens, sorry, rats.

In the tent right next to the "Numbers Lady" dressed up in gypsy garb and tells your fortune (for every lady there is a man in your future, for every man there is some money or new job around the corner. It is right in the cards, er, numbers.) Somewhere there would be a barker selling tonics that will cure what ails ya yelling out C-A-R-N-I-V-O-R-A!
-GNS

Shades of 'National Lampoon' ......... Ronald Reagan/rat on a stick franchise
Funny stuff !

[Robert1972]

This confuses me. Richard Belzer seems like an intelligent human being, so why would he deign to co-author a book with a man who has little to no understanding of the concept of syntax. Because if the book had just been written by Richard Belzer, I might have been slightly more interested in reading it (inasmuch as I care about the subject, and have never read any of Belzer's other books). But Noorifying it has removed any and all desire I had to pick it up.  Did his publisher say "Richard, you need to work with this Dave Norrie that hosts the late night radio show that hawks Bigfoot dung miracle cures. He knows a whole lot about this subject!"

Somebody must have convinced him that Dave is some kind of author for the ages and is a genius on such matters.  If he writes the way he talks look out folks!  I Just hope portals and angels aren't mentioned. Dave can now talk about what a great writing partner he is

[coaster]

This confuses me. Richard Belzer seems like an intelligent human being, so why would he deign to co-author a book with a man who has little to no understanding of the concept of syntax.

For a paycheck.  Seems like an intelligent move to me. Its the same reason the Moron Snooron slapped his name on a recipe book for snacks. $

[bateman]

For a paycheck.  Seems like an intelligent move to me. Its the same reason the Moron Snooron slapped his name on a recipe book for snacks. $

Yeah, but those flavored butter recipes are really something, aren't they?

[Nick el Ass]

Dead cats, dead rats... and as usual Jorch sucks.

http://youtu.be/sCSdbW6SNGY

[Jorch Einstein]

[attachimg=1]

Jorch keeps forgetting he's wearing a black rat/wig on his head, and thinks that he's actually coming up with all these brilliant thoughts. Of course most people know Jorch is not capable of any kind of thought. So what happens is, the black rat/wig speaks, and Jorch thinks it's his own deranged mind coming up with brilliant and original thoughts.

[Major Ed Damien]

[attachimg=1]

Jorch keeps forgetting he's wearing a black rat/wig on his head, and thinks that he's actually coming up with all these brilliant thoughts. Of course most people know Jorch is not capable of any kind of thought. So what happens is, the black rat/wig speaks, and Jorch thinks it's his own deranged mind coming up with brilliant and original thoughts.

I can't help but think that the black rat on Jorch's head looks so ashamed:

"Why can't I be roasting on a stick somewhere rather than face the degradation of having to sit on top of this fucking imbecile's empty goddamned skull every day? 

"God, why do you hate a poor lowly rat like me so much?"

[Robert1972]

[attachimg=1]

Jorch keeps forgetting he's wearing a black rat/wig on his head, and thinks that he's actually coming up with all these brilliant thoughts. Of course most people know Jorch is not capable of any kind of thought. So what happens is, the black rat/wig speaks, and Jorch thinks it's his own deranged mind coming up with brilliant and original thoughts.

It's George's pet shadow rodent that he's said he sees

[GeorgieForPresident2216]

I'm working on a biography of George Noory.  Maybe I can even get him to co-author!  Here's what I have so far:

[attachimg=1]

Nuthin's Goin' On!

The George Noory Story
1950 - The First Martian Colony

[Major Ed Damien]

I'm working on a biography of George Noory.  Maybe I can even get him to co-author!  Here's what I have so far:

[attachimg=1]

Nuthin's Goin' On!

The George Noory Story

Nice.

It looks like his wig is on vacation in that photo.

Or is this back when the project needed a ghost-rodent?

[NoMoreNoory]

I've thought of getting a shirt made up with a picture of a rat on a plate with formal tableware and the caption :

O-fish-ul George Noory ah-proved rat eater

and 

then crowd source it so everyone on BG can wear one in a group picture at our annual charity spaghetti, crab & rat feed.

Say $40 bucks. All you can eat.

XL, please