George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Spikegirl]

"I don't think anyone wants it to be an eel, or a seal." referring to the Loch Ness Monster in a conversation with Nick Redfern 8/3/08.  (2 hours and around 43 minutes into the show)

They were wondering if Nessie was a dinosaur and Snoory said he hoped so, because no one wants it to be an eel or a seal. Snoory I want you to be a host. Can you manage that?

[EvB]

It reminded me of that scene in The Meaning of Life where the board of directors are being told what the Meaning of Life is, and after the explanation, one of them goes "now what was that about hats?"..

so sad..

"And the meek shall inherit the earth"

"The Greeks?  Well, it's about time the Greeks got something, I say!"

[PhantasticSanShiSan]

Should this thread be renamed "George Noory Quotations from Vandeven"?

[EvB]

Should this thread be renamed "George Noory Quotations from Vandeven"?

This entire topic is starting to give me HIVES!   

[VictoriaPandora]

I'd give being an eel OR a seal a try, why not? George is such a freak. I wish HE was a seal, then at least he'd be cute... and the conversation would be a lot more interesting.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wq-hWcBrpzc&feature=related

[Camazotz Automat]

Should this thread be renamed "George Noory Quotations from Vandeven"?

This entire topic is starting to give me HIVES!   

"Starting to give", or "Beginning to give?" 

Do people who use sign language critique each other?

"Sloppy signers should be executed.  It's like watching rotting zombies, what with all the half-ass shoulder lurching and deadpan facial expressions.  Makes my toes curl backward into elf-shoe points, goddamn it.  Lazy bastards.  Makes us all look bad.  It's bad enough we can't hear what the talking heads are saying behind our backs, but now we can't understand each other.  The other day I couldn't understand a damn thing Morty signed.  He was just flailing away, as if I could read his mind.  And what about that guy with the hooks instead of hands?  It's as if he's signing with a pirate accent 24/7.  Does he do that on purpose?  Does he think it's cute?  Who is he?  Johnny Deaf Captain Sparrow? 

I bought some new earplugs the other day.  What for?  You tell me.  Can you stop signing for a second and hand me the mustard?  That's it.  Just hand me the jar.  Don't sign with your hands full, schmuck.  It's not polite."

CAMAZOTZ  AUTOMAT

[Meegle]

Just listened to Monday's show and took notes. THIS is just one reason why Noory NEEDS to be replaced. Here are some quotes:


"...and of courth Heath Ledger..."

"Absolutely!"

"...Mary Kay Olsen..."

"Amazing."

"...ferternities..."

"Oh Jeez."

"There's nothing worse than desegrading a cemetary."

"My gosh!"

"We'll start off by going to a cemetery....................................................yes we will."

"Oh gosh."

"Howler Monkey? What does THAT look like?"

"Tho shoofer."  (?)

"...and special DNA sequency..."

"INDEED!"

This guy is awful and I want him to KNOW he SUCKS.

[Spikegirl]

It's a well known fact that snoory does his show with a mouthful of marbles. It's in his contract.

[PhantasticSanShiSan]

It's a well known fact that snoory does his show with a mouthful of marbles. It's in his contract.

Marbles and/or Ball Gags

[Spikegirl]

Marbles and/or Ball Gags

good one!

[Loui Zoot]

Sunday night was as bad. Maybe a demonic portal, caused a brain tumor. Probably from the half dozen, or so, guests you can count on him talking to every month.

Let's see, the bilderhamburglars are putting spy chips in your pet android heads, that you carelessly left outside of the super secret moon bases, that NASA is hiding from you, the crop circles are anal probing, and mutilating cows, because I remote viewed the end of the world, and we should all be learning to survive, even though we are so screwed, that there is nothing way can do about it, even if we pray to the boilingpitsofsewage@yahoo.com and we all saw a ghost while we were listening to Coast to Coast AM with George "Mr Wilson" Noory.

Our only hope, is if the hostile invading aliens, eat the tasty Canadians first, and then a disgusting old hack, that's either hiding deep inside of his cave, or perhaps peddling a garbage television show from the city of angels.

And that's the rest of the news from the high desert.

[PhantasticSanShiSan]

Like, I understand what you're saying about conscriptionary theories and the stature of broadcasting and stuff, eh, but what's up with tasty Canadians, Eh?

....Take Off You Hoser!




Like, these guys from Alpha Centauri were down at this cottage party in Huntsville last year, eh, and other then the fact that they ate all the back-bacon, they were totally cool eh.  And they didn't eat any of us (although I think I caught one tasting my buddy Todd in the toilet.)*They did funnels through their nostrils eh!*

[PhantasticSanShiSan]

From the haven of demons, off the River Styx, Good Morning, Good Evening, wherever you may be - across the nation, around the world, this is.......

Tues. August 5th- They're Messing With My Mind!!!!

Dicky Hoagie pops in to discuss poison Martian soil and take pot shots at his former employers.*NASA- Never A Straight Answer. Tee-Hee* In "News", the Montauk Monster has been kidnapped. Open lines rounds out the first hour. Call of note - Chris from Cali calls in asking about cryogenic hibernation and a previous caller's desire for that finality. Chris asks how they would put someone in that state, and how long it would last. George's Answer - "They have right now cryogenic chambers, but they've got dead people in them, who are hoping that one day they will come up with a cure for whatever they died of, and then bring them back to life...."

Electronic Counter-Measures Expert and Private Dick Roger Tolces is tonight's feature.  The boys start off talking about Voice-to-Skull microwave tech, and Tolces has a hypothesis that they used it on George W. Bush to help him in his debate against John Kerry by broadcasting intelligent replies and points. George, thinking quickly, says " Well what's happened since then? They're not using it anymore." *Hehehehe* Subjects covered include: Shielding methods, Govt. experiments, mind violations, negative effects of cell-phones, CCTV, the New World Order, and much more.  Tolces feels that Govt. Black Ops agencies leave him alone to see how much he can discover, and to see what counter-measures he can develop.  Apparently, there are much more advanced topics which Tolces can't divulge at this point in time. *Someone is screaming "Sleep!" into my brain. AAAArrrrrrgghgzzzz....z...z...z...z...z..z..z..z*

George's Gem of the Night - George welcomes Roger Tolces with this confidence instilling greeting - "Never......has there been a time...when your services.....weren't needed... like this. My Gosh!". Yeah! Take you jacket off.....and get the hell out, ya bum!

[MV/Liberace!]

"They have right now cryogenic chambers, but they've got dead people in them, who are hoping that one day they will come up with a cure for whatever they died of, and then bring them back to life...."

i know i'm stepping out on a limb with this, but haven't most of those cryogenically frozen people died of... um... death?

i think that's actually what they're trying to cure.

phan... it's great to see your show rundowns back in action.  this place wasn't/isn't/wouldn't be the same without them.

[PhantasticSanShiSan]

i know i'm stepping out on a limb with this, but haven't most of those cryogenically frozen people died of... um... death?

i think that's actually what they're trying to cure.

phan... it's great to see your show rundowns back in action.  this place wasn't/isn't/wouldn't be the same without them.

Thanks.  As far as the dead people, I just find it funny that they are currently hoping, while being dead, for the cure. It's amazing my gosh.

[Camazotz Automat]

To be a candidate for cryogenic storage, one must not become brain dead? but rather, suffer a cardiac death, which leaves the brain tissue viable for a longer period for harvesting - some say up to 16 mins before irreparable protein damage, some say 8 hours.  If the former, then ALCOR better be at your side when you kick the bucket fantastic.

(? Therefore, George Noory can never be a cryogenic candidate.) 

As far as my opinion on ALCOR's services (interestingly located in one of the hottest areas of the country, Scottsdale, AZ):

Very Expensive Ice Cubes

CAMAZOTZ  AUTOMAT

[Meegle]

What's comforting to me is that I thought for the longest time (years) that I was being too hard on Noory. I only recently found this website and I feel so vindicated. I would always say to myself I'm such a pompous ass for thinking about how horrible I think George is (as a host). Fortunately I'm comforted in knowing that I'm not alone in thinking that George is a egotistical ignorant buffoon.

ON VOICES IN THE HEAD:


"...alleged co-conspirasurs..."

"...in a dark stretch of a rool Mississippi highway..."  (rural?)

"...within the cancel cells..."    (cancer?)

"...Dark Mitchin' mission, MISSION dot net."

"...five idendible copies..."   (identical?)

"...My Gosh!"

"...wif wif if we can get the results..."

"..what he's been investigating laightly lightly lately..."

"...EYELIDS!"

"INDEED!"

"Never has there been a time when your shervices were more needed."

"...and start bombodding them with bombarding them with..."

"...he was in an... OZONE LAYER!"

"...now you know I don't believe in coincidences..."

"A what?"    (After the guest said a Nanite came out of his finger.)

"GOSH!  I guess anything's buh-lee-bubble now Roger."

"...with him they eyeways said that he..."     (always?)

"next caller, Stephaneye in Arizona."


I hate it when he says "indeed"

[mikemcc]

I hate it when he says, "I love it." I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it!

But I know what you mean about feeling a little guilty. I am not an overly critical person and I know we all have our little foibles and  idiosyncrasies. I certainly have my own...

The thing that bothers me is that George so often seems ill-prepared for his interviews. And that I don't like. I understand that it would be quite difficult for George to read every book from every guest who visits the show each week. On the other hand, he could read *some* of them. He should also have a staff person (or two) who DO read the books or visit websites so he or she can write a solid, two or three page executive summary of the book(s) or websites. This kind of preparation seems to be the minimum any host of a radio show that is broadcast nationwide should expect to do. This kind of preparation is *required* if one expects to conduct an *engaged* (and engaging), in-depth, three-hour interview with a guest. If I conducted interviews the way George does, I would be humiliated.

I also do not like the way George interacts with callers. While he is sometimes abrasive, that actually doesn't bother me as much as the times when he just doesn't seem engaged in the conversation. It's like he hears about 1/4 of each caller's conversation. From that 1/4, he latches onto one or two keywords and says a few things about them, but that's it. I can't count the number of times people have called with what seemed like REALLY interesting ideas or experiences, and it's like George did not even NOTICE. He seems to think of callers as "air fillers" (there is probably a formal radio term for this, but that's about as close as I can get), but nothing more. Art was a master at interacting with callers and drawing extremely interesting material from them; but I have heard other good hosts do this, as well.

I know I have, in other posts, said that I believe George is stupid; well, I don't believe he's the smartest tack in the box, but I doubt that he is downright stupid, either. (Though there have been times people have talked to him about fairly simple issues and George just can't get it.) I think that most of his problems come from being ill-prepared for most shows.   

[Camazotz Automat]

George's latest egregious trespass that I've noticed:

Attempting to master (subconciously or not) a deep chuckle similar to Art Bell's. 

Listen for it - you will be sickened to your core.

CAMAZOTZ  AUTOMAT

[EvB]

I know I have, in other posts, said that I believe George is stupid; well, I don't believe he's the smartest tack in the box, but I doubt that he is downright stupid, either. (Though there have been times people have talked to him about fairly simple issues and George just can't get it.) I think that most of his problems come from being ill-prepared for most shows.   

Ill prepared, and disinterested. 

The god's honest truth is that I could care LESS if George has a bit of a speech impediment.  I don't even really care that he has some over-used catch phrases. (Remember when Art didn't have a reply and so wanted to draw the caller out more?  he almost always used "Oooooh?" in this very specific tone, pitch, and timing.  What the hell - it usually worked!

What I care about where George is concerned is his inability to sound genuine - even when he IS.  Recently, there was a caller who seems seriously suicidal, possibly even psychotic.  George had Tom get her number and promised to call her himself the next afternoon and get her some help.  In this case, I believed him.  The call was so very disturbing. She had put a rifle in her mouth and was alive only because it repeatedly misfired.

You know what?  I image George DID call her - and gave her some referrals for help.  He may have even manged to get Clear Channel to kick in some dough.  NEVERTHELESS - even his sincerity somehow sounded  empty.

HEY!  Maybe he's a ROBOT!  Ya think?

[EvB]

To be a candidate for cryogenic storage, one must not become brain dead? but rather, suffer a cardiac death, which leaves the brain tissue viable for a longer period for harvesting - some say up to 16 mins before irreparable protein damage, some say 8 hours.  If the former, then ALCOR better be at your side when you kick the bucket fantastic.

Thanks, Cam - that's explains a lot.  I knew they couldn't be BRAIN dead - but I wasn't sure how it worked "Okay doc, you say I could go any moment - give me a sedative and roll me to the freezer"  GEEZE!

[Meegle]

Yeah I know it seems petty to post on his inability to speak and lack of synapses firing correctly in his brain but....

I would like a better host. It's unnerving to me that I like the subject matter most of the time and the host (Ian sometimes as well) just doesn't seem present. Too often I hear George's references come from "movies" that seem like a child's reference to me especially when something I find very interesting being discussed. Believe I dislike George for oh so much more than his mush-mouthed slurrings. SO MUCH MORE. But as I'm new to this board I figured I'd start small.

[Meegle]

One of things that I can't stand about some newscasters is the injection of subjectivity in their delivery of a story. This spoonfeeding is (for me) usually experienced in local news and it is an insulting attempt to spoonfeed the audience on HOW they should feel about a story. Noory does this too too often. He did it on this show (Aug6th) while reading a story and he said "...sad story..." in the middle of it. Please refrain from letting me know how you feel about it George. You come off as fool so i don't want to hear your quasi-subliminal editorial on whatever death or accident or potential disaster story you've picked to prime us with your usual Chicken Little theme for the night.

Dialogue:
George: "Welcome J.B.!"

Guest: "George it's R.B. not J.B."

(It's called research George.)




-----------------------------------------------

"...to reach a tempature..."    (temperature?)

"...sad story..."

"Get this!"

"...fidbians, phibians, amphibians..."

"I kid you not!"

"...Neesa motors...Nissan Motors has released a pourful..."   (powerful?)

"...area-nautical engineering..."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------





dialogue:
Guest1: "...some people can maybe identify it's appearance, maybe like the Jetson's vehicle..."

Noory: "...it's a beautiful flying car, kinda reminds me of the Jetson's doesn't it?

Guest2: "....................................................................................oh yeah."

(What an idiot; does he listen to his guest's?)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------







"Even though they say the shortest point is the straight line."  (Wisdom)

"Could you hover indefinitely?" (Almost as good as "...could it be a portal?")
------------------------------------------------------------------------------




Dialogue:
Noory: "You call the 200 model the "Jetson" heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh heh........that was a great program wasn't it?

Guest: ".........................................................it certainly was."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------



"...circle your canlen...calendars..."

"HOW ARE YOooooooooooo?"

"How are YAHHHHH?"

"...reach him at Jordan Maxwell dart com."

"Geez."

"Absolutely!"  (in reference to nothing.)



ick

[Spikegirl]

Yeah I know it seems petty to post on his inability to speak and lack of synapses firing correctly in his brain but....

I would like a better host. It's unnerving to me that I like the subject matter most of the time and the host (Ian sometimes as well) just doesn't seem present. Too often I hear George's references come from "movies" that seem like a child's reference to me especially when something I find very interesting being discussed. Believe I dislike George for oh so much more than his mush-mouthed slurrings. SO MUCH MORE. But as I'm new to this board I figured I'd start small.

Feel free to let you hair down! 

I agree with what you said. It's just one annoying thing after another with George. The most egregious being that he has the inability to host a show, to follow a conversation, to make intelligent observations, etc.

SOOOOO many times George will refer to a movie like it is his only frame of reference. It not only sounds childlike, but at his age, STUPID. I expect much more from a 59 year old man. George Noory reminds me of Forrest Gump. Except Forrest was likeable and had some common sense. The other night, George actually asked a guest if humans turn into werewolves "like in the Hollywood movies". That's a quote, too. He is so obsessed with Hollywood, it's pathetic. I don't know what he thought would happen when he moved there. What, he would become a national icon? I think he thinks he is one. A legend in his own mind, as they say. Most people I know have never heard of Art Bell and Coast to Coast, let alone the Snoron. I have brought the show up on many occasions and have always gotten a blank look, except one time. A friend of mine had heard of the show, but associated it with Art Bell and told me she really didn't know what the show was about, but had heard the name before.

It doesn't help when George himself adds fodder to the flame by telling A NATIONAL AUDIENCE about driving off from a gas station with the hose still in his gas tank. That's right, he was so busy talking to Tommy on his cell phone, that George drove off, hose firmly ensconced in tank, and ripped the nozzle out of the pump. Nice going George. You'd think you'd keep that to yourself.

George also regaled his national audience with a tale of falling in a puddle, getting so wet he had to take off all his clothes in a hotel room and send his manservant Tommy out to get him new threads. The icing on the cake was when Snoory flashed a pair of hapless window washers, who were simply trying to do their jobs. Once again, this was a story George told us, his audience.

[PhantasticSanShiSan]

They go on an Antarctic vision quest, get tired and pass out, and are gently woken in their new "home" by the ghost of Clarence Birdseye.

[Camazotz Automat]

A joke I just made up, which I am sure has been made up before:

A newborn Eskimo with the ability to speak said:

"Jesus!  It's goddamn cold in here!"

To which his father said:

"Better get used to it, Son."

CAMAZOTZ  AUTOMAT

[EvB]

Feel free to let you hair down! 

What SHE said!  Fuck the small stuff.  Go for the gold.

SOOOOO many times George will refer to a movie like it is his only frame of reference. It not only sounds childlike, but at his age, STUPID. I expect much more from a 59 year old man. George Noory reminds me of Forrest Gump. Except Forrest was likeable and had some common sense. The other night, George actually asked a guest if humans turn into werewolves "like in the Hollywood movies".

Now, you see, THAT is the kind of comment that makes me think, not so much that he is stupid, but that he is condescending, and thinks WE are stupid.

It doesn't help when George himself adds fodder to the flame by telling A NATIONAL AUDIENCE about driving off from a gas station with the hose still in his gas tank. That's right, he was so busy talking to Tommy on his cell phone, that George drove off, hose firmly ensconced in tank, and ripped the nozzle out of the pump. Nice going George. You'd think you'd keep that to yourself.

Okay - I fess up - I thought that was FUNNY!  It sounds like something I'd do.  DUH!-OH!

[Spikegirl]

What SHE said!  Fuck the small stuff.  Go for the gold.

Now, you see, THAT is the kind of comment that makes me think, not so much that he is stupid, but that he is condescending, and thinks WE are stupid.

Okay - I fess up - I thought that was FUNNY!  It sounds like something I'd do.  DUH!-OH!

Here are some pictures to go with Noory's story:

[PhantasticSanShiSan]

A joke I just made up, which I am sure has been made up before:

A newborn Eskimo with the ability to speak said:

"Jesus!  It's goddamn cold in here!"

To which his father said:

"Better get used to it, Son."

CAMAZOTZ  AUTOMAT

I laughed.

[slipstream]

    I haven't been able to watch the local new broadcasts for several years no....  Oooh the Inanity!!!    I think your comparison is spot on.  Nooron is the local news of talk show hosts.  Now I understand everything.