George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[ItsOver]

I didn't listen to Coast at all this week, listened to Frank Morano a bit. I do miss Noory's idiocy though when I don't tune in to Coast for a while.

so we lost Rush, I was an on and off again Rush listener but it really stinks I'll never hear him again - death is so final, unless you're one of Noory's sham mediums who talk to the dead all the time.

Noory with his Super Beets, his tonic water with quinine, zinc, Vitamin D and whatever other snake oil Pharmacist Ben and the veterinarian gives him will be on the air for another decade.

The show with filmmaker Chris Alexander on the appeal of the horror genre was somewhat entertaining, as long as you either ignored or laughed at Dave Norway.  Dave persisted in his usual annoying habits of trying to link things to him in some obtuse or self-aggrandizing way and using Google to pose as if he was actually knowledgeable about certain things.  In other words, he was his usual putz self.

[Morgus]

Tonight Noory has old Lionel Fanthorpe as his guest.
That means Noory will of course have to ask Lionel to tell the story of "Springheeled Jack" for the thousandth time again!

[At the stroke of midnight]

I thought Fanthorpe was dead, it's been so long since he has been on, and I knew he had health problems. I may actually make it all the way through his segment. I want to see if he sticks to his tired old spiel...Springheeled Jack...etc. You could take a show with Fanthorpe from ten years ago, insert it tonight, and no-one would know the difference.

[At the stroke of midnight]

Jorch's complex about wanting to be on tv is due to subliminal conditioning. I have been very perplexed why Lionel Fanthorpe will drop whatever he is doing to bail George out of trouble - even if it means being late to the dentist. I did some research and found out a shocking secret: Lionel Fanthorpe is George Noory's real father! I kid you not. Here is what happened:

In the 1950's Lionel is working on the wards of His Majesty's Home for Congenital Imbeciles as a hospital chaplain. He impregnates an inmate. In a desperate bid to save his marriage and his career as an Anglican priest, he smuggles the infant out of Britain and into the United States. He names the baby George, to honor George VI, but this will leave lasting scars on the child because he will begin to adopt the king's speech impediment as he grows. Infant George is placed with an average middle-class family in Detroit - but Lionel is always hovering in the background. It is he who provides growing George with all those paperbacks about the unexplained by Frank Edwards, John Macklin etc., to prepare George for his future career. However, I have yet to uncover how Lionel was able to come up with a copy of CHARIOTS OF THE GODS before it was written.

At Yuletide Fanthorpe pulls out all the stops. He records himself reading: A VISIT FROM SAINT NICOLAS and George's "parents" force him to listen to the tape every Christmas Eve. This is why he plays it on that date each year. Lionel claims that he has never heard it, but that's a ruse to lead people away from the truth. It is Lionel who sends those two bicycles to Detroit and arranges to have them stored at a neighbor's home. The many different Santas that caused so much confusion for the boy, were, in actual fact, all one person! Lionel incognito, shadowing George to make sure he was all right.

Because George is being prepped for fame and fortune, Fanthorpe makes a special tape for George to listen to every day. To the casual listener it merely sounds like a tape of 50's crooners and Doo-wop music. Actually it is filled with subliminal messages assuring George that he will one day be as famous as Jack Benny, Jimmy Durante and Red Skelton, and will have his own tv show just like them. This is why George is fixated on, and tortured by the fact that these guys are no longer popular. In his subliminally-abused mind, if they are not popular, then he will not someday get his own tv show. Giam tv is not what he was promised. Lionel arranges with his lodge brothers in the US - he has admitted to being a freemason on the air - to boost George up each step of the career ladder until he reaches the top. When George becomes host of C2C, the truth about his real father is revealed to him. He comes to count on dear old dad - as so many sons and daughters do - to bail him out of trouble.

I know this sounds crazy, but is there a better explanation for how a seemingly borderline retarded guy who can't read news copy correctly to save his soul, goes on to become the youngest ever news director of a station in a major market, and win three local Emmy awards for news?

[AZZERAE]

Of course I'm talking about Rush. All he did was call people names & blame other people...he's nothing now. ⚰️

How dare you.

[Camazotz Automat]

Tonight Noory has old Lionel Fanthorpe as his guest.
That means Noory will of course have to ask Lionel to tell the story of "Springheeled Jack" for the thousandth time again!

I've always liked Fanthorpe's voice. An interesting take would be to have George Knapp  take the Fanthorpe interview helm for a welcomed change.

It is ironic that Noory asked Fanthorpe about déjà vu - then forced us and Fanthorpe to experience the Spring Heeled Jack story.

Again.

And again.

And again.

[ACE of CLUBS]

Have heard Lionel's stories many times before . . . . he mentioned last night that he was 86 yrs. old, and I could hear that possibly his memory wasn't as sharp anymore.  Not critical of an older man trying to entertain at Noory's prodding. Did enjoy hearing him again, hopefully this isn't the last time. 

[albrecht]

I like Lionel but Mr.Norway should let him tell some new stories, or new to us stories. While checking pipes I did laugh at Dave not knowing the plot of some movie I never seen called "The Boy" when TOMMEE gives away the plot, Dave was confused as to the plot- even though it was Dave who said the movie was good and that TOMMEE should watch it.

Now we got Mr.Norway putting "Corny" and "Barry" on to a 'chit-chat' together instead of actual Open Lines. Dave HATES real Open Lines. I did a spit-take of my Hamm's while checking another hosebib for signs of damage. This show is absurdly bad. Thank goodness Art is dead and so doesn't know how low the show has sunk.

ps: good comments by "Corny" though. Praising Rush. And really praising Art with no call screening and open lines. Funny when Mr.Norway said that he is going to give a "gift" to TOMMEE and let him do an Open Lines segment "once he is back in LA." A real "gift." "Honey, do you like your presents? Oh, that is the new vacuum you wanted. The other is brand new bowling ball. Can I borrow it Thursday for League Night while you use your nice new vacuum?"

[Gyoza Girl]

George calls Lionel Fanthorpe the greatest story-teller who's ever been born, yet asks him to tell the Spring-heeled Jack story every time he's on the show. Lionel must be an incredible storehouse of interesting tales, so why do we keep having to hear about Spring-heeled Jack?

[albrecht]

Mr.Norway dropped Open Lines early, as usual. But who could blame him. "Joe from Boston" musing about being lonely and then musing on age-of-consent and teacher/student stuff was getting creepy. Especially being 73!

Dave was not knowledgeable of the laws on marriage or age-of-consent, which vary by State and by Country. But pretended he was a lawyer on the subject. He was wrong. Also, Dave didn't mention that the "friend of the show" actor Doug Hutchinson infamously married a barely legal gal decades younger than he- with much drama, controversy, reality shows, and then divorce. Dave should've known because previously he told TOMMEE that Hutchinson gave him his most favorite possession- a nightstick used in the movie "A Green Mile."

[Gyoza Girl]

So Christian Wilde comes on the show last night for an update on Covid, and tells George he has photos from the Spanish flu pandemic that shows everyone wearing masks. He noted this was before George Noory and Coast to Coast were around to give people information.

Ha! George gleefully refused to wear a mask. He loved to talk about how people in supermarkets would scurry away when they saw him not masked. If George were around back then, he'd be harping on the media reporting every Spanish flu death and calling masks useless.

[Morgus]

Thank goodness Art is dead and so doesn't know how low the show has sunk.

Last night during open lines there was also a caller that claimed he had been in contact with Art Bell from "the spirit world"
He had a message from Art to Noory that Art now was sorry for the bad things he had said about Noory.
But Noory claimed he never heard Art ever said anything bad about him and that Art had always treated him nicely, though he did say he didn't meet or communicate with Art much at all... 
Noory did however tell the caller to send a message to Art that he forgives him!

[Morgus]

Mr.Norway dropped Open Lines early, as usual. But who could blame him. "Joe from Boston" musing about being lonely and then musing on age-of-consent and teacher/student stuff was getting creepy. Especially being 73!

Dave was not knowledgeable of the laws on marriage or age-of-consent, which vary by State and by Country. But pretended he was a lawyer on the subject. He was wrong. Also, Dave didn't mention that the "friend of the show" actor Doug Hutchinson infamously married a barely legal gal decades younger than he- with much drama, controversy, reality shows, and then divorce. Dave should've known because previously he told TOMMEE that Hutchinson gave him his most favorite possession- a nightstick used in the movie "A Green Mile."

Yep I immediately thought of Noory's pal, actor Doug Hutchinson, during that creepy conversation about age 18 vs 16 being legal...

[aldousburbank]

George Noory still sucks!

[Lilith]

George Noory still sucks!

Praise MV!

[ItsOver]

George Noory still sucks!

The universal constant.

[aldousburbank]

The universal constant.

With all the fuckery of the past couple of years (I blame MV) it's about time we can get back to the topics that really matter.

[pate]

Aldous!  Good to see you, mang.

That Einstein picture absholutely begs for a photoshop... 

Hopefully I can get A Round Tuit on that:  my vision has something to do with Pordahls, perhaps even a quote-bubble: "Ish it a Pordahl?"

Ah good old mush-mouth Dave, I had honestly quite forgotten about that guy?  Does he still have that TeeVee Shoe?

-p

[Juan]

Last night, sNoory started out pretty good.  He shut up and let the guy talk about demographics.  That deteriorated though.

[Morgus]

Last night, sNoory started out pretty good.  He shut up and let the guy talk about demographics.  That deteriorated though.

Yeah then all the regular sad pack callers got on one after the other:
Thomas from La Jolla, Mike the Millenial, Cornelius, etc.

[MV/Liberace!]

Does he still have that TeeVee Shoe?

That Beyond Belief abortion.  Oof. 

Any time I'm reminded of that show, I recall the time someone embedded a YouTube video of it on this forum and the "protectors" of Beyond Belief sent a DMCA takedown notice to my domain name registrar, which at the time was GoDaddy.  Note, they didn't send the notice to the hosting company as one normally would.  They sent it to the actual domain name registrar.  It was a fraudulent claim because you are not violating anything by externally embedding a YouTube video that the uploader has allowed to be externally embedded.  Now, since since GoDaddy is such a piece of shit domain registrar, they charged me $50 just for the pleasure of them receiving the DMCA notice.  No consideration of whether it was legitimate.  No warning.  No nothing.  Just, "Boom.  Give us fifty bucks, bitch." 

[MV/Liberace!]

Yeah then all the regular sad pack callers got on one after the other:
Thomas from La Jolla, Mike the Millenial, Cornelius, etc.

What happened to the good old days of radio show regulars?  Beetlejuice, Stalker Patty, Big A, etc.  Each of those callers you mentioned sound like neck-bearded virgins who act rude on technical support message boards.

[Morgus]

Linda Howe is the guest on Jimmy Church's streaming radio show tonight.
Linda hasn't gone on Noory's show for years - they must have had a bad breakup.
Linda recently had her 80th birthday.

[ItsOver]

Linda Howe is the guest on Jimmy Church's streaming radio show tonight.
Linda hasn't gone on Noory's show for years - they must have had a bad breakup.
Linda recently had her 80th birthday.

Snorge dumped her for a younger babe.

[ACE of CLUBS]

Haven't listened to Noory since he was dropped from Vancouver radio area. Wondering if his schtick is unchanged . . .

[Juan]

Unchanged?  Are you kidding?

[MV/Liberace!]

Wow.  Look at that naturally jet black hair at his age.  Amazing.

[WhiteCrow]

Wow.  Look at that naturally jet black hair at his age.  Amazing.

George Noory vs My Pillow Guy

Where is the TRUTH?

Are they the same guy?

Smoke and mirrors?


Love ALL


https://youtu.be/grY60s3_eLA

[ItsOver]

Wow.  Look at that naturally jet black hair at his age.  Amazing.

You could drill for oil up there. And mine for shoe polish and toupee adhesive.

[MV/Liberace!]

You could drill for oil up there. And mine for shoe polish and toupee adhesive.

That sounds like a valuable, multifaceted drill site (if you own the mineral rights).  I don't know why it's not being utilized.  My uncle once owned a shoe polish mine.  Good living.