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George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

Started by MV/Liberace!, April 06, 2008, 01:23:02 AM

Can Noory pronounce anything correctly?

No
No

GravitySucks

Quote from: Dateline on December 02, 2017, 03:33:17 PM
Thanks for the memories.  Isn't that an ole codger standard?  Maybe Norry can croon it while those of us who remember J.B.Wells are sentimental and longing.

Need someone to whisper sweet conspiracies in your ear?

ItsOver

Quote from: Dateline on December 02, 2017, 03:33:17 PM
Thanks for the memories.  Isn't that an ole codger standard?  Maybe Norry can croon it while those of us who remember J.B.Wells are sentimental and longing.


"Thanks for the mammaries..."

Quote from: albrecht on December 02, 2017, 02:57:01 PM
Norry had Tommee announce that Norry is going to win a "prestigious" award in St.Louis in March. And it is nice "to be recognized by his peers." Ugh.

Tommy has peers?

George, please please video Tommy's appearance and post it on YouTube.  It's the least you can do - for everyone.

Quote from: Parris001 on November 26, 2017, 04:42:20 PM
Minimum wage............? Please. I could buy and sell you all day long. You just like to bitch. And if really ARE a lawyer, you've lost so many cases you're scared of little ol' Noory.

Do us a favor and quit posting these long and laborious diatribes. The only person you're impressing is yourself.

Hi, George Noory.Or one of his minions. Nice try. That rambling, hate-filled grammar. And the incorrect use of the "..." ellipsis in the English language. From the written material I have from one George Noory, he tends to just press the period key so many times as to try and be a "man" and too often fails.

Noory: How Are You, Big Guy? OK? Glad To Hear It

You couldn't buy and sell your own behind. Hey, aren't you the one that claimed to bring only "truth" and was heard bragging about being some standout "baseball star" in your younger days -- taught, of course, by your mother --- and yet, yet...[ellipsis] your high school (Harvey S. Lowery High School) has ZERO records, from what I found out and ask you to correct me if wrong, of George Noory playing ANY sport from 1965 to 1968. Please examine this disparity in records, sir.

After all, it was George Noory who claimed he even sought a "tryout" with what have been the post 1968 -season Detriot Tigers. Who just won the Major-League Baseball (MLB) World Series. Yes, Noory, you were that good? Played a lot of baseball, huh? Is that so?



Quote from: mv on April 06, 2008, 01:23:02 AM
The following is a list of documented George Noory quotes. Known as "Nooryisms"... these non sequitur quips and half-witted, meandering ramblings serve only to exacerbate my feelings of disappointment over what has happened since Noory took over Coast to Coast AM. If you happen to know of others and you can document when they occurred, please post them in a reply to this topic.


"Could it be a portal?"

***********

"I don't think there's any doubt."

***********

"Let me tell you even I have learned some things here I didn't know about."
From Jul 19 2007. Following a round table discussion on trans-humanism.

***********

"How 'bout a dramatic topic... trans-humanism... you know, when you just think of the word trans-humanism, you dudint think that it's that exciting but it really is!"
From July 19 2007. He really did say dudn't.

***********

"If we all had our own solar system, we wouldn't have to worry about that."
From July 19, 2007. During a discussion on solar energy.

***********
"Did you hear today they just found Saturn's 60th moon? I will give you one million dollars of the network's money, James, if you, in the next two minutes, can name all sixty."
From July 19, 2007.

***********

George Noory: "Dr. Leir's website is www.alienscalpel.com. Ooh, that's scary sounding. Alien scalpel."

Dr. Roger Leir: "Well, you know me George, I don't try to scare people."

George Noory: "Yeah, with those fang teeth of yours?"
July 6, 2007.

************

"If you raised a baby and beat it and kicked it and yelled at it, it would turn out to be a mean baby?"
July 19, 2007.

************

"Jim, humanity has always been looking for ways to improve on our suffering and improve on disease, aging and involuntary death..."
July 19, 2007.

************

"You know, Ray, everytime I think of things in the future, I think of the Jetsons."
July 19, 2007.

************

"Well before too long we'll all be cyborgs won't we?"
July 19, 2007.

************

"I would guess your mind is part of who you are."
July 19, 2007.

************

"If you had a chance to go back to Skull and Bones right now, as a little fly on the ointment, so to speak, what would you be looking for?"

************

"Gosh!"

************

I've been fascinated by this my entire life.

************

Al-ja-reeza.

************

"Things are never as they seem.

***********

I should write a book. I've always wanted to write a book. I should write a book about kids who see dead people.

***********

"Wouldn't it be amazing if one day they discover a buried UFO and flipped a switch and on it goes?" (Another non-sequitur.)

***********

I don't believe in coincidences.

***********

There are no coincidences.

***********

Coincidences don't exist.

***********

Have I ever mentioned that I don't believe in coincidences?

***********

OK, Canadian. Don't knock our administration.

***********

I really do believe 2012 is coming. What do you think about that?

***********

"Well, the group mind experiments I've done on the show have been rather tentative because I don't know what the heck I'm doing.

***********

George: "It would be great if Saddam just left Iraq, don't you think?"

Hal: "Yes, but he's not going to do that. Like last time, he's going to put his citizens in harm's way, use them as human shields, and wreak destruction on the oil fields."

George: "That's kind of selfish, isn't it?"

***********

"Yeah, March 3rd is a full moon. When our boys go in that'd be the best time, because they'll really need the light to see." (On the Iraq invasion.)

***********

"I truly believe there are other solar systems out there. I really do."

***********

That'll make you want to think.

***********

"Just let it go. Don't worry about it. If you screw up, no one will ever know." (George talking to his board operator during a break when his mic was accidentally left open.)

***********

A story is worth a thousand words.

***********

Richard C. Hoagland: So he used the Star Wars theme the night before the God damn war started! Can I say that on here?

George Noory: No.

Richard C. Hoagland: Oh. OK.

***********

"That's got to be the worst luck I've ever heard of... in a very long time."

***********

I was jumping over chairs and knocking them over with my back feet."

***********

"Yeah. Pretty scary. But has anyone considered the people that live underground? (Referring to the Sounds From Hell clip.)

***********

"Lex has done it again. I don't know how Lex does it." (Referring to listener-submitted photos on the website.)

***********

"Oh, yeah."
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Sure.
That's right.
Uh huh.
Gee.
Ha ha. That?s true.
Yeah.
I was just going to say...
Sure, yeah.
Gosh, he comes up with some great stuff.
(Noory's interactions with Michio Kaku in April of 2003.)

***********

"He's dedicated to finding the 'Theory of Almost Everything.'"
(Referring to Michio Kaku.)

***********

"Did he have.....Lamb Legs?"
(Referring to a half-man, half-animal thing a caller said was chasing her.)

***********

"You know, you sound exactly like Don Johnson."
(Immediately following a lengthy monologue by guest Zeph Daniel.)

***********

Are they called sand scripts because they were written on tablets of sand?
(To Michael Cremo, referring to the Sanskrit language.)

***********

Chucacabra.

***********

"Do you think asteroids have a brain and know which side of the planet to crash into?"

***********

"You'll know how advanced they are by the amount of graffiti in the tunnels.
(Referring to Mars.)

***********

Wagering war...

***********

"I've got to ask you something, and this is going to be a very profound question. I want you to think for a moment, if you haven't already, and... oh, I guess you probably already have...

***********

Can you add hydrogen to, say, gasoline... or does that defeat the purpose?"

***********

"I want to go back to the dark ages and find out what the reason was. I think it was an asteroid or a meteor."

***********

"Elderly Thomas Edison was elderly."
March 28, 2007.

***********

"Bigfoot may well be an extraterrestrial, because... remember Chewbacca?"

***********

"We're not talking about dead people. We're talking about the aliens... of their ghosts!"

***********

"Well, with prophecy you got to see what happens."

***********

"You do something annual every year, don't you?"

***********

"What I do is create an aura of mystery."

***********

"Sometimes I wish the aliens would abduct me and crown me as their leader."

***********

"Who or what was the Great Pyramid?"


Quote from: Here We Go Again on December 02, 2017, 09:37:36 PM
Hi, George Noory. Nice try.And the incorrect use of the "..." ellipsis in the English language. From the written material I have from one George Noory, he tends to just press the period key so many times as to try and be a "man" and too often fails.
==============================
'Allo!
With you briefly am i again perforce.
Protest i must about this comment reference to the elipsis's use here.
The late,great collumnist for the S.F."EXONICLE"(caveat:I don't remember if it was the Chronicle or Examiner,before the merger)supposedly perfected the use of the three-dot style of journalism.
How others use it doesn't seem to correlate,(at least to me)with being mr.Norry-San or an so-called Minion.
Please correct or retract this,or you will indeed taste the semi-wrath of Beelzebubbelah.
"B_B"
PS:No Logo:
][7VF ][=wide-flange beam

WOTR

Quote from: Beelzebubbelah on December 03, 2017, 01:15:25 AM
==============================
'Allo!
With you briefly am i again perforce.
Protest i must about this comment reference to the elipsis's use here.
The late,great collumnist for the S.F."EXONICLE"(caveat:I don't remember if it was the Chronicle or Examiner,before the merger)supposedly perfected the use of the three-dot style of journalism.
How others use it doesn't seem to correlate,(at least to me)with being mr.Norry-San or an so-called Minion.
Please correct or retract this,or you will indeed taste the semi-wrath of Beelzebubbelah.
"B_B"
PS:No Logo:
][7VF ][=wide-flange beam
Allo!
Glad I am to see that still with us, you are.

Nice to see you again.  :)

Jojo

Quote from: Zetaspeak on November 30, 2017, 07:03:42 PM
He's got to be trolling everybody, it's well known everybody hates these shows. But wow what a double feature last night, I avoided it
George has asked the doc a zillion times if a little daily peanut butter is okay.  I don't recall the doc ever mentioning that other nut butters are much easier on the kidneys.  He talked about mold and aflatoxins, but he failed to mention purines.

Parris001

Quote from: albrecht on December 01, 2017, 07:25:10 PM
I often tend to not listen with too much attention but I was mowing the other week and thought "I swear I've heard these caller's stories before." It was lazy Norry replaying tape of open line callers. It is amazing he can make so much money being so lazy and not liking guests or callers so much.

Noory is just like a local talk show host we have here in Nashville. Michael DelGiorno. Both of these stooges are on TALK RADIO, but they hate callers. DelGiorno is at least honest enough that he's admitted on the air he doesn't like fielding calls from his loyal band of listeners. The reason for "DelFatso", is that he's a hypocrite. With his mouth he proclaims to be one thing......... but in reality he was ran out of the Tulsa market for living a life 180 degrees out of what he says on the air. And I've personally known several on-air talk show personalities. They get on the air and say what the listeners expect them to say. In their private lives its not really that way.

I said that to say this: Jorch doesn't like callers BECAUSE OF US!!! I promise you. This forum and this thread exists. And for that reason he has to rely on the usual cadre of pre-screened and scripted callers. He can't risk doing a TRUE open line segment and having one of us get through. I think a lot of the "phone troubles" they have on Coast is the bump button being deployed to jettison BellGab callers that have made it past Tommee.............

Which brings me to another thought. Why don't we as a forum make a concerted effort to fuck Jorch's show over on a friday night? Let's all call in. Let's all abuse Jorch. Let's make it a night of living hell.

Something I found odd the other night. Joe in the Bronx called in and asked a question, and not 15 minutes later he'd made it BACK in and asked another question. If there's millions of listeners on any given night, how is it only a select few get through?

Parris001

I hear we're getting a GREAT present for Christmas. Noory is doing a YouTube channel.  Hard to hide in that format, it'll be fun ripping him to shreds. He'll quit it fairly quick..........

Quote from: Parris001 on December 03, 2017, 05:00:25 PM
... I said that to say this: Jorch doesn't like callers BECAUSE OF US!!! I promise you. This forum and this thread exists. And for that reason he has to rely on the usual cadre of pre-screened and scripted callers. He can't risk doing a TRUE open line segment and having one of us get through...

That, and he's not exactly light on his (back) feet.  He lives in terror someone is going to call and either use a common word he's unfamiliar with, or expose some other bit of basic information he is unaware of.

Parris001

Quote from: PB the Deplorable on December 03, 2017, 08:24:07 PM
That, and he's not exactly light on his (back) feet.  He lives in terror someone is going to call and either use a common word he's unfamiliar with, or expose some other bit of basic information he is unaware of.

On YouTube, this will become painfully obvious. YouTube is NOT a format Jorch should venture off into. Yet, I heard him say he's going to do it. It'll end ugly. He won't keep it up for long. But then, that's typical Jorch................

Jojo

Quote from: Parris001 on December 03, 2017, 05:03:00 PM
I hear we're getting a GREAT present for Christmas. Noory is doing a YouTube channel.  Hard to hide in that format, it'll be fun ripping him to shreds. He'll quit it fairly quick..........
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8iwBM_YB1sE

TigerLily


I was in the mood for some Hoagie nonsense tonight but of course he's not on. Again. So against my better judgment I tune in to c2c and hear "Crowley, Cthulhu, Necronomican". Cool. If I can put up with Noory and the commercials

Dateline

Norry's Youtube sights are set high.  He wants to become the next Falkie.

Quote from: Dateline on December 04, 2017, 12:57:37 AM
Norry's Youtube sights are set high.  He wants to become the next Falkie.

For that he's going to have to broadcast from Tommy's apartment

Dateline

Quote from: PB the Deplorable on December 04, 2017, 01:00:40 AM
For that he's going to have to broadcast from Tommy's apartment

Of course, Danheiser/Waggoner Youtube productions set is ready.

Jojo

Did anyone experience the closing song tonight from the holiday CD?


Jojo

The second guest tonight was really good.  He drew together staffs, pyramids, ufos and a lot more.  No complaints. Of course, they always have to throw a couple ridiculous things in, to stave off retalition I guess.  But it was pretty good.  His voice and tone were understated, although he did get animated once at a pivotal point, where of course George cut him off.

ItsOver

Quote from: Parris001 on December 03, 2017, 05:03:00 PM
I hear we're getting a GREAT present for Christmas. Noory is doing a YouTube channel.  Hard to hide in that format, it'll be fun ripping him to shreds. He'll quit it fairly quick..........
Is blow-hard Jorch calling this a TV show, too, like his bogus "Beeyond Beeleef" internet show? 


Juan

Quote from: Jojo on December 04, 2017, 05:25:41 AM
Did anyone experience the closing song tonight from the holiday CD?
It was horrible.
I noticed that sNoory has adapted an new, authoritative “Umm-hmm” that he inserts into the guest’s ramblings.

I’ll hear him again in a month.

Jojo

Quote from: Dateline on December 04, 2017, 12:57:37 AM
Norry's Youtube sights are set high.  He wants to become the next Falkie.
Along those lines, when I look up Coast, for some unknown reason my browser tab says "The Guy From Pittsburgh".  What?!

albrecht

Quote from: Jojo on December 04, 2017, 05:25:41 AM
Did anyone experience the closing song tonight from the holiday CD?

It was horrible. Actually really jarring and shockingly bad. Like some kind of reverse Mass or Satanic singing of a Christmas song? Or, at least, bad mixing, singing, etc. What a horrible advertisement for the "Christmas Coast Style" CD that they still had an old date on. (At least update the date, even when you are trying to sell off old stock!)

Morgus

Quote from: albrecht on December 05, 2017, 12:17:24 AM
It was horrible. Actually really jarring and shockingly bad. Like some kind of reverse Mass or Satanic singing of a Christmas song? Or, at least, bad mixing, singing, etc. What a horrible advertisement for the "Christmas Coast Style" CD that they still had an old date on. (At least update the date, even when you are trying to sell off old stock!)
Noory's warbling version of "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" was worse by far than all of the submerging artists selections he has played on Sunday nights.  That selection was probably the worst of all from that old Holiday CD.

'Tis the Season for an old Christmas classic...

How The Snorge Stole Coast...

Every Who
Up in Who-ville
Liked the Coast show a lot...
But the Snorge,
Who lived somewhere down in a Cave,
Did NOT!

The Snorge hated Coast! The whole Art Bell show!
Now, please don't ask why â€" even he doesn't know
It could be his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his brain was two sizes too small.

But,
Whatever the reason,
His brain or his shoes,
He stood in his Cave, hating the Who’s,
Staring up from his Hole with a sour, Snorgy frown,
At the warm lighted windows above in their town.
For he knew every Who up in Who-ville
Was busy now, waiting for Art's show to come on.

"They’re turning it on!" he snarled with a sneer.
"It’s almost 10 p.m.! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Snorge fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to keep it from coming!"
For, precisely at 10, he knew...

Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE SNORGE
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know just what to do!" The Snorge laughed in his throat.
As he quickly put on a black t-shirt and coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, and said with a start!
"With his mic and his throne, I'll be just like Art!"

"I do need a career..."
The Snorge had checked ‘round.
Good hosts are scarce, there were few to be found.
Did that stop the old Snorge...?
No! The Snorge simply said,
"If I can't make a career, I'll take one instead!"
So he called his friend Tom. “Let’s load up the sled,
Out to Hollywood, ‘tis there we will head”.

THEN
He loaded his bags
Borrowed money from mom.
To a ramshackle sleigh,
He hitched up fat Tom.

The Snorge said, "Giddy-up!",
And the sleigh started off,
While the Who’s lay a-snooze in their lofts.

On the way, the Snorge spoke slowly to Tommy.
“It’ll be rough my boy, I know I’ll miss Mommy.”
But “we’ll do it” he cried,
“Soon those Who’s will learn their show has now died.
We’ll dumb it down, one day after another,
We’ll sicken the Who’s, soon they won’t bother”

“We’ll program lame guests, then listen not a word.
I’ll sit while they're talking, polishing a turd.
I’ll interrupt, mispronounce, and say stupid stuff.
When they call to complain, you can tell ‘em ”That’s Tough!””

As the Snorge thought it through, he chuckled with delight,
“We’ll get the worst guests. It wouldn’t be right,
To steal Art’s show, then not turn it to Blight.

All those Who’s out there will have to give up the fight,
And find something else they can do every night.
Just what can they do when we Suck?
They’ll bitch and complain, and we won’t give a F___”

... And so it was done, the Snorge took Art’s place,
And all over the website, the Snorge plastered his face…

Dateline

Flash!  A new cd should immediately be made, volume II. or Bellgab should makes its own holdiay cd with the above selection read as a muted "Old Come All Ye Faithful" is heard every so audibly in the background.

Dateline

Expect Norry to pop in and wish us a Merry Christmas, on the first of Feb. . . .(he has no perception of time).

More stupid GMO conspiracy whining. Let me sum up: “Monsanto Monsanto Monsanto they hate puppies and babies, and gmo will absolutely kill you, Compare fact A in Europe to something not done in the US, and oh - the sky is falling.”

Now a story about a scientist who used Round Up to kill weeds around his greenhouse (vegetables), and then found out that his pee kills weeds in the woods. We’re really all gonna die this time. For real this time.

Callers keep saying “you’re a little much....”

When C2C callers tell you that you’re an alarmist, it’s time to take a hard look at yourself.

Jojo

Quote from: PB the Deplorable on December 05, 2017, 01:18:11 AM
'Tis the Season for an old Christmas classic...

How The Snorge Stole Coast...

Every Who
Up in Who-ville
Liked the Coast show a lot...
But the Snorge,
Who lived somewhere down in a Cave,
Did NOT!

The Snorge hated Coast! The whole Art Bell show!
Now, please don't ask why â€" even he doesn't know
It could be his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his brain was two sizes too small.

But,
Whatever the reason,
His brain or his shoes,
He stood in his Cave, hating the Who’s,
Staring up from his Hole with a sour, Snorgy frown,
At the warm lighted windows above in their town.
For he knew every Who up in Who-ville
Was busy now, waiting for Art's show to come on.

"They’re turning it on!" he snarled with a sneer.
"It’s almost 10 p.m.! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Snorge fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to keep it from coming!"
For, precisely at 10, he knew...

Then he got an idea!
An awful idea!
THE SNORGE
GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know just what to do!" The Snorge laughed in his throat.
As he quickly put on a black t-shirt and coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, and said with a start!
"With his mic and his throne, I'll be just like Art!"

"I do need a career..."
The Snorge had checked ‘round.
Good hosts are scarce, there were few to be found.
Did that stop the old Snorge...?
No! The Snorge simply said,
"If I can't make a career, I'll take one instead!"
So he called his friend Tom. “Let’s load up the sled,
Out to Hollywood, ‘tis there we will head”.

THEN
He loaded his bags
Borrowed money from mom.
To a ramshackle sleigh,
He hitched up fat Tom.

The Snorge said, "Giddy-up!",
And the sleigh started off,
While the Who’s lay a-snooze in their lofts.

On the way, the Snorge spoke slowly to Tommy.
“It’ll be rough my boy, I know I’ll miss Mommy.”
But “we’ll do it” he cried,
“Soon those Who’s will learn their show has now died.
We’ll dumb it down, one day after another,
We’ll sicken the Who’s, soon they won’t bother”

“We’ll program lame guests, then listen not a word.
I’ll sit while they're talking, polishing a turd.
I’ll interrupt, mispronounce, and say stupid stuff.
When they call to complain, you can tell ‘em ”That’s Tough!””

As the Snorge thought it through, he chuckled with delight,
“We’ll get the worst guests. It wouldn’t be right,
To steal Art’s show, then not turn it to Blight.

All those Who’s out there will have to give up the fight,
And find something else they can do every night.
Just what can they do when we Suck?
They’ll bitch and complain, and we won’t give a F___”

... And so it was done, the Snorge took Art’s place,
And all over the website, the Snorge plastered his face…


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