George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Major Ed Damien]

Idiot declares Lovecraft is the greatest ever horror writer. I wonder if he's ever heard of a little-known author by the name of Edgar Allan Poe?

Yeah, that was Literary Dumbass Statement #1.

And it's only the promo.

[narcissist noory]

GN- " Up next my friend Jesse Ventura"

You have no friends freak!

[paladin1991]

Ventura didn't sue the widow.  He ended up suing the SEAL's estate in the defamation case, and it appears that an insurance policy the book publisher has covered the money damages found by the jury. 

Of course, none of that placated the SEAL who trashed Jesse Ventura on the air for being a coward and not being in combat during Vietnam.  Jesse never got closer to that particular disaster than the Philippines.  The SEAL claimed plenty of other SEALS won't speak to Jesse, and that they have, in effect, rejected him as a SEAL.  It all sounded like a middle school snit between adolescent girls at a dance in the gym, to tell you the truth.

Mebbe so.  But these 'girls' will beat your heart out of your body.   

[NoMoreNoory]

Christ help us. He's telling Jesse the story of his drawn-on stash for his appearance on Off The Grid. Ventura says he didn't notice the difference.

[paladin1991]

Christ help us. He's telling Jesse the story of his drawn-on stash for his appearance on Off The Grid. Ventura says he didn't notice the difference.

Perhaps because Ventura has taken so many shots to the head?  Or just taken too many shots?

[21st Century Man]

Jesse goes off and says there should be a trial when he doesn't even know the facts of the case. What a dick.

[zeebo]

... ever heard of a little-known author by the name of Edgar Allan Poe?

Sure he's ok but what about J.K. Rowling, with those Dementors!

[Mind Flayer Monk]

This seems like a good time to plug my Richard Marcinko Rogue Warrior novels over in the "Sell Your Stuff" thread.
Marcinko would kick Ventura's ass. Ten great books for one low price! I will even ship to England so you Englishmen will have a chance to complain about long overseas mail shipping times.

[Heather Wade]

Idiot declares Lovecraft is the greatest ever horror writer. I wonder if he's ever heard of a little-known author by the name of Edgar Allan Poe?

Poe was the finest horror writer who ever lived.  Anyone who argues that is irrelevant.   


Oh yeah, George Nooron sucks.  Carry on, haters.   

[zeebo]

Poe was the finest horror writer who ever lived.  Anyone who argues that is irrelevant.   

Correct.  Lovecraft is creepy, but Poe was the master. 

* please note I was joking about Harry Potter above

[Major Ed Damien]

Mebbe so.  But these 'girls' will beat your heart out of your body.

Yeah, I'm sure it'd be a real one-sided fight.  I would hope so, considering all the intensive training they undergo.

Yep, I'd sure get pounded into the earth.  Unless I detonated a suicide vest like some little Afghani kid.  Then I suppose their heads would fly off like anybody else's.  Nobody's invincible -- except in comic books and the movies.

[paladin1991]

What?  Are you living in RL Major?  That is soooo screwed, in a major way.

[narcissist noory]

GN-" Jesse are you a Mexican citizen"

[zeebo]

wtf was that?  "simplysavenoory dot com"?

[zeebo]

Can we move this along?  Along with NoMoreNoory, I just gotta hear Jorch attempt "Cthulhu".

[Major Ed Damien]

What?  Are you living in RL Major?  That is soooo screwed, in a major way.

Oh, OK.

Make that "unless I shot down a $40 million-dollar Chinook helicopter full of them with my $75 rocket first.  Then I guess they'd have a little trouble beating my heart out of my body."   

Some nobody in Afghanistan did that, maybe a teenager or even an elderly man with a dirty rag on his head and three teeth.  Hope that's RL enough for you.

[Juan Cena]

GN-" Jesse are you a Mexican citizen"

"Jesse, did you enter Mexico legally?"

[Juan Cena]

Yeah, I'm sure it'd be a real one-sided fight.  I would hope so, considering all the intensive training they undergo.

Yep, I'd sure get pounded into the earth.  Unless I detonated a suicide vest like some little Afghani kid.  Then I suppose their heads would fly off like anybody else's.  Nobody's invincible -- except in comic books and the movies.

If Snorge was reading this his eyes would light up.

[Juan Cena]

Oh, OK.

Make that "unless I shot down a $40 million-dollar Chinook helicopter full of them with my $75 rocket first.  Then I guess they'd have a little trouble beating my heart out of my body."   

Some nobody in Afghanistan did that, maybe a teenager or even an elderly man with a dirty rag on his head and three teeth.  Hope that's RL enough for you.

Why do hate America?

[Major Ed Damien]

"Jesse, did you enter Mexico legally?"

George told Jesse he was harassed at the airport in Cabo San Lucas.

No surprise there.

With that dyed mustache and poor command of English, they thought he was a drug cartel member.

[Juan Cena]

Idiot declares Lovecraft is the greatest ever horror writer. I wonder if he's ever heard of a little-known author by the name of Edgar Allan Poe?

Judy Jones and William Wilson wrote in An Incomplete Education "once you're over seventeen you don't ever admit to liking Poe's poetry, except maybe to your best friend who's a math major." The same probably goes for Poe's short stories as well.

[Juan Cena]

George told Jesse he was harassed at the airport in Cabo San Lucas.

No surprise there.

With that dyed mustache and poor command of English, they thought he was a drug cartel member.

There are Ritalin cartels in Mexico?

[Juan Cena]

Can we move this along?  Along with NoMoreNoory, I just gotta hear Jorch attempt "Cthulhu".

A show on Lovecraft would be kinda cool...If Knapp were hosting it.

[zeebo]

There are Ritalin cartels in Mexico?

It's not the best quality, but gets the job done.

[zeebo]

A show on Lovecraft would be kinda cool...If Knapp were hosting it.

Agreed, an excellent observation.  If nothing else, just think of the cool bumpers we might hear.

[Major Ed Damien]

George:  "What percentage of police don't want to shoot you?  I would imagine that's a high number."


That's got to be the funniest goddamn question of the whole year.

[zeebo]

Wtf? This guy's playing "You're Still the One" before an HP Lovecraft segment?  Way to not set the mood friggin Noory.  God what a dork. 

[zeebo]

George:  "What percentage of police don't want to shoot you?  I would imagine that's a high number."

That's got to be the funniest goddamn question of the whole year.

Don't be so sure, we've still go two hours.   :

[Major Ed Damien]

Wtf? This guy's playing "You're Still the One" before an HP Lovecraft segment?  Way to not set the mood friggin Noory.  God what a dork.

Hey, you're lucky it wasn't "Breaking Up is Hard to Do."

[Major Ed Damien]

George just said it was so nice to be on his own show.