George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[Dateline]

Noory has lied.  It is now June 5, 2014, and no longer his birthday.  Time to call it quits.  No more Happy Birthday, just another day as the crow flies.

[onan]

This astrologer asstard is taking up airtime to tell Jorch when to go to the dentist and holiday shopping tips.

Fuck me.

Welcome back. Don't be a stranger.

[21st Century Man]

Noory has lied.  It is now June 5, 2014, and no longer his birthday.  Time to call it quits.  No more Happy Birthday, just another day as the crow flies.

You wish.   Noory lies everyday. 

[Usagi]

Welcome back. Don't be a stranger.

onan

Yeah, I think so.  Ye olde Dark Matter trainwreck doesn't sting so badly anymore, so I might poke my head in.

[nooryisawesome]

George has people call up to tell him happy birthday. WTF
Dipshit Brinkley mentions art.

Art never did this self serving bullshit

[21st Century Man]

George has people call up to tell him happy birthday. WTF

Art never did this self serving bullshit

No, he didn't. 

Aw, even Dannion Brinkley called in.  He should be ashamed.  I'm only listening so I know who all the suckups are so I don't listen to them again.  I'm surprised Bruce Goldberg hasn't called.

[zeebo]

George has people call up to tell him happy birthday. WTF

Art never did this self serving bullshit

They also are apparently under some kind of secret contract to always tell Noory what a great job he's doing.

[narcissist noory]

A triple derp trying to pronounce 'brigade
drunk as a skunk
   thx Dave

[Morgus]

Too many of the guests have been singing happy birthday to George tonight, yuck.

[21st Century Man]

Too many of the guests have been singing happy birthday to George tonight, yuck.

Its sickening.  Its like George is singing happy birthday to himself.  Its also rather pitiful, to tell the truth.

[Jackstar]

Rarely have I made a life's path decision that has consistently felt so good, so right, so solid.

I was consciously unaware that it was George's hatchday when I realized that today was the day I was never going to listen to that screamingly unprofessional mouth-breathing thought-assassin ever again. Every time I think about how lovely the synchronicity has worked out, the fact that I don't even know how old he is becomes the cherry on top of the schadenfreude sundae, that infinitely replenishes itself upon being savored.

It's like one of those Greek tragedies, except this one has a happy ending. For me. GNS.

[21st Century Man]

Rarely have I made a life's path decision that has consistently felt so good, so right, so solid.

I was consciously unaware that it was George's hatchday when I realized that today was the day I was never going to listen to that screamingly unprofessional mouth-breathing thought-assassin ever again. Every time I think about how lovely the synchronicity has worked out, the fact that I don't even know how old he is becomes the cherry on top of the schadenfreude sundae, that infinitely replenishes itself upon being savored.

It's like one of those Greek tragedies, except this one has a happy ending. For me. GNS.

I think he is 64.  Someone needs to make a parody of The Beatles When I'm 64.

[zeebo]

...I was consciously unaware that it was George's hatchday when I realized that today was the day I was never going to listen to that screamingly unprofessional mouth-breathing thought-assassin ever again....

Hey it's his birthday, but you're giving a gift to yourself!

[zeebo]

Well guys, I've been playing the advanced Noory drinking game, the one where you drink every time he says something dumb, wrong, pointless, or annoying.  So I'm hammered and need to sign off.  Have fun and good luck.  Btw 21st I think you're alright no matter what anyone else says. 

[nooryisawesome]

What a shit fest tonight. Horrible singing, long not funny stories, lame guest, nonsense rambling, etc.

And now rosemary to shit some more on the show.

[Jackstar]

Every time I think about how I'm never going to have to hear him again, my heart feels like it is going to sprout wings of joy and burst out of my chest. True story! I hope whenif it does, it's like that thing in Alien, and then it flies to Snoory's house and rips his fucking lying liar's tongue out.

... oh, wait. Just me? GNS.

EDIT: so I don't go to prison, because I really mean it, I hope George Noory loses his tongue

[21st Century Man]

Well guys, I've been playing the advanced Noory drinking game, the one where you drink every time he says something dumb, wrong, pointless, or annoying.  So I'm hammered and need to sign off.  Have fun and good luck.  Btw 21st I think you're alright no matter what anyone else says.

Thanks zeebo. You're  cool too. Good night. I'm kinda hammered as well but I think I'll hang until the 40 minute mark so I can know who all the suckups are.

[21st Century Man]

Every time I think about how I'm never going to have to hear him again, my heart feels like it is going to sprout wings of joy and burst out of my chest. True story! I hope when it does, it's like that thing in Alien, and then it flies to Snoory's house and rips his fucking lying liar's tongue out.

... oh, wait. Just me? GNS.

I wish you success.  I'm like an alchoholic, I quit and get tempted to come back to see how much he still sucks.  I keep hoping he will sprout a few new brain cells but its really quite hopeless. It's just about time for me to go on the wagon again. 

Remember that old commercial?  This is your brain.  This is your brain (on drugs) when exposed to too much Noory.  Notice the shrinking.  That's what happens to me when I listen to too much Noory.  However, when I get off Noory, its like I've been healed.

[Jackstar]

Well guys, I've been playing the advanced Noory drinking game, the one where you drink every time he says something dumb, wrong, pointless, or annoying.  So I'm hammered and need to sign off.  Have fun and good luck.  Btw 21st I think you're alright no matter what anyone else says. 

Thanks zeebo. You're  cool too. Good night. I'm kinda hammered as well but I think I'll hang until the 40 minute mark so I can know who all the suckups are.

I am going to tentatively restrain my burgeoning love for you both, until I find out what you've been drinking. Cheers!

[nooryisawesome]

I am going to tentatively restrain my burgeoning love for you both, until I find out what you've been drinking. Cheers!

Ever give your ex back her stuff?

[21st Century Man]

I am going to tentatively restrain my burgeoning love for you both, until I find out what you've been drinking. Cheers!

Shots of Tequila for me.  I should have made it shots of wine because I got quite the buzz going now.  LOL.  And thank you too, jackstar.  You are also way cool!

[nooryisawesome]

Again with the "weeegee" board tease.

[Jackstar]

Ever give your ex back her stuff?

Over and over and over again.

Thank you.
I won't hassle you again about such things.

From her fangs to your ears.

[Morgus]

I bet the last half hour guest coming up will be another of Noory's standby frequent guests - Lionel Fanthorpe.
Hopefully Noory won't ask him about "Springheeled Jack" for the umpteenth time...

[21st Century Man]

I bet the last half hour guest coming up will be another of Noory's standby frequent guests - Lionel Fanthorpe.
Hopefully Noory won't ask him about "Springheeled Jack" for the umpteenth time...

ding, ding, ding

[nooryisawesome]

Hoaxland what is this? C2c low lights.

Richard passes phone to Falco to pimp website

[alger]

I bet the last half hour guest coming up will be another of Noory's standby frequent guests - Lionel Fanthorpe.
Hopefully Noory won't ask him about "Springheeled Jack" for the umpteenth time...

Maybe he'll do "The Slender Man"?   

[alger]

Noory gets off of the phone with Uri Geller and then says, "I remember when he was on Johnny Carson and tried to bend a spoon but he was so nervous that he couldn't do it".   

[21st Century Man]

Noory gets off of the phone with Uri Geller and then says, "I remember when he was on Johnny Carson and tried to bend a spoon but he was so nervous that he couldn't do it".   

What a friend!  I bet Geller was pissed.

[alger]

What a shit fest tonight. Horrible singing, long not funny stories, lame guest, nonsense rambling, etc.

And now rosemary to shit some more on the show.

Business as usual.