George Noory Sucks! - The Definitive Compendium

[The General]

Jeesus, I was sick of Hoagland in the 90's.
This is so tired.

If I ran things, he would have been launched into space where he belongs.

[SomeVelvetMorning]

There is the magic phrase. The incident happened at 19.5 hours Greenwich Mean Time.   

[Insanity]

What are the odds that hoagland begs for money before he is done?

"Please, everyone send me money. I have a Accutron watch I need to have repaired."

[Doomed]

Coaster, I'd say even money. After all, he's gotta pimp for something while on the show. Otherwise, whats the point?
As to Hoaxlands theory on what broke the boat, Im thinkin' it was that Junior Mint he dropped into the engine.

[Immy]

Good grief that last half hour was painful. You had Hoaxy drawing out his wacky theory, with no substantial proof that I heard, coupled with Jorch getting twitchy to go to the phones so badly that he cut off Hoaxy mid-sentence! Truly awful.

[Usagi]

... with Jorch getting twitchy to go to the phones so badly that he cut off Hoaxy mid-sentence! Truly awful.

It is Friday night, after all.

[NoMoreNoory]

Richard C Hoagland: Master Of The Universe. As just christened by Joorch.
After Bob's report from Russia, suggesting this was in fact a UFO that was shot down, The Master Of The Universe demands rhetorically whether that doesn't back up his space war theory. Joorch wants to say that it certainly makes it more plausible. In fact he said 'It certainly makes it more palatable'

[SomeVelvetMorning]

Good grief that last half hour was painful. You had Hoaxy drawing out his wacky theory, with no substantial proof that I heard, coupled with Jorch getting twitchy to go to the phones so badly that he cut off Hoaxy mid-sentence! Truly awful.

Ha Ha.  George needed to get rid of Haogie so he could have the last two hours for Bill the amateur astronomer and his like, along with the great round up song by UFO Phil.

[mombird3]

I am missing nothing! It is so much better at the new station we found. Hoaxland has said nothing new. Did Noory mention North Korea Bomb test and the threat to us. I am sure it was not much.

[michio]

George had to reference 'Independence Day' when yakking about defensive missiles with a caller from Russia who seemed convinced "they" were shooting down a space invader. Simple George recalled a UFO in the science fiction movie that was blown to smithereens with pieces of it raining down from the sky, because he equated a science fiction movie laden with special effects and an actual Patriot missile unfortunately sending pieces of itself to the ground after performing its defensive task. One is fiction and one is reality, but never the two shall part in George's mind.

Sheer genius or blithering madman? You decide. To me, sNoory hosting C to C is like a stinker movie that never ends and there's no chance for a refund.

[coaster]

Noory was bitching about his pizza rolls again."I thought I was going to die that night". I'm turning this shit off.

[Usagi]

Thank god for George, delivering another timely pizza roll PSA.


Apparently, now they might "swell up" in a child's stomach and kill them.  This is a public menace.

[SomeVelvetMorning]

And now more revisiting the dreaded Pizza Roll.  Moms, do not take a pizza roll directly from the microwave and place it in your kid's mouth.  They might die just like George nearly did.

[NoMoreNoory]

Open lines eh Jorch? In the last hour, Numb Nuts has hung up on three callers. The first was told "You're getting a little too bizarre. We don't talk about hate here" (just haters apparently) then informed another "You're being too philosophical for me." and when another caller mentioned John B, Snoory quickly barked "We're not going there again." and cut him off. Then there was the lady who claimed we attacked Mars and although crazy the claim may have been, it was no excuse for the Snoron being as downright nasty and condescending as he was with her.

Oh pizza roll...you were so very close to finishing the job.

[stevesh]

It wasnt aliens. It was a message from our "space family" because they are in a secret space war. christ.

Tomorrow night, of course, the Russian meteor will have been a false flag operation by the Illuminati so they can take our guns away.

[stevesh]

Open lines eh Jorch? In the last hour, Numb Nuts has hung up on three callers. The first was told "You're getting a little too bizarre. We don't talk about hate here" (just haters apparently) then informed another "You're being too philosophical for me." and when another caller mentioned John B, Snoory quickly barked "We're not going there again." and cut him off. Then there was the lady who claimed we attacked Mars and although crazy the claim may have been, it was no excuse for the Snoron being as downright nasty and condescending as he was with her.

Oh pizza roll...you were so very close to finishing the job.

The first guy has called before and was long-windedly working up to blaming all of the world's ills on the Republican Party. Noory let him rant on too long.

The second guy was the FOURTH caller in two weeks to get on the air and spout the stupid, ridiculous BS about the people who placed cameras in some druggie's house and made hundreds of millions of dollars selling the resulting video. This one claimed to be the druggie himself. Why (and how) are these clowns getting past the screeners ?

Didn't hear the Mars woman.

[Doomed]

Im beginning to think there is a group of people out there who are doing a Howerd Stern on noory, with this lunatic drug guy on hidden camera. Instead of Baba Booey, Jorch is getting Jackie the junkie. If this turns out to be true, then they, too, are "haters" and we should salute their efforts. Or not. 

[General Johnson Jameson]

Noory was bitching about his pizza rolls again."I thought I was going to die that night". I'm turning this shit off.

What a crier, a pizza roll. Not like he cut off his toes with a chainsaw ffs.
Maybe it was some male hooker's schlong with herpes he had stuck down his throat instead?

[General Johnson Jameson]

Jeesus, I was sick of Hoagland in the 90's.
This is so tired.

If I ran things, he would have been launched into space where he belongs.

As one General to another General,
that shit cracked me up!
You should build on that somehow General.

[coaster]

I was watching some of those meteorite videos, and I think I just found the female Noory. She actually asks of the asteroid had anything to do with global warming. How do idiots get these jobs?
WTF. CNN Anchor Blames Asteroid on Global Warming? Guest, Bill Nye

[Kaiborg]

Do you... do you think it's starting to get to him? Sumpthin's gonna happen. I can feel it.

You know, it just might be.  In fact, I'd say it is.  Did you hear how flustered he got with that female caller tonight who insisted that we attacked Mars?  I really hope she was trolling him... if so, great job.  And to add to it, someone else called in, talked for a minute, and then patiently told Jorch that he shouldn't have been rude to the Mars lady, and that she was right.  You could tell he was caught off guard, sine the guy was able to repeat himself before getting cut.  I could almost hear the pain in GN's voice when immediately afterwards, he proclaimed "I guess it's just one of those nights".

It's been said here before, but I'm sure GN's daily, private life is one of epic sadness.  I'm guessing that the level of pathos, regret, and boorishness is so great, that you couldn't even script it.  If you were to make some kind of screenplay out of it, and DIDN'T make it a comedy, but rather a stark and honest look at a lonely, dim-witted man who benefits from "occupational welfare" lotto ticket of a lifetime... we'd probably be winning academy awards for it.  I'm thinking John C. Riley's cop character from "Magnnolia", but even more sad and boorish.  And not funny, nor loveable.  Damn, I think I've got enough for a script here.   

[PB the Deplorable]

...  I could almost hear the pain in GN's voice...

I'm surprised George isn't all over this.  I guess he doesn't think any more of his own BS than we do.

Here are couple of his asteroid quotes -

Discussing 2012, which wasn't all that long ago and close enough for him to claim... sumpthin':

- "Maybe an asteroid will hit or something will happen to the magnetic polar fields, ... Or maybe the guy who was making calendars ran out of paper. Who knows?"


Or this classic:

- "Do you think asteroids have a brain and know which side of the planet to crash into?"

[coaster]

I don't remember Noory's exact quote from tonight's show, but he said something about the asteroid missing if it were made of iron due to the Earth's poles or magnetic field. Or something. It was a reply to a woman's comment about the poles shifting. The entire conversation between them was confusing as hell.

[PB the Deplorable]

... It's been said here before, but I'm sure GN's daily, private life is one of epic sadness.  I'm guessing that the level of pathos, regret, and boorishness is so great, that you couldn't even script it.  If you were to make some kind of screenplay out of it, and DIDN'T make it a comedy, but rather a stark and honest look at a lonely, dim-witted man who benefits from "occupational welfare" lotto ticket of a lifetime... we'd probably be winning academy awards for it.  I'm thinking John C. Riley's cop character from "Magnnolia", but even more sad and boorish.  And not funny, nor loveable.  Damn, I think I've got enough for a script here.

Noory as a dumb and lazy modern day Faust

[Mind Flayer Monk]

Said by George in one of his ads for Gaiam TV with guest Michael Bell

"We are starting to put together the list of needy people (pause)
some of those stories (pause) heartwarming."

WTF Noory, you need to understand your weaknesses and obviate this shit. I don't think its heartwarming to listen to people's hard times.

Also I'm thinking of resubscribing to coast insider because Norryisms come so fast and break your brain's train of thought so much, I need to relisten to them.

[somatichypermutation]

I tuned in and heard the mars lady, George was a jerk.  The call after was the worst discussion I have ever heard on radio. George could not describe any cogent differences between a belief and a theory.  Third grade stuff.

Is it possible George is getting Alzheimer's?  He cannot think.

[General Johnson Jameson]

Said by George in one of his ads for Gaiam TV with guest Michael Bell

"We are starting to put together the list of needy people (pause)
some of those stories (pause) heartwarming."

WTF! Disturbing 
What is he going to say when he gets the letters after the people get their whatever it is? Fascinating?
Something is seriously wrong here.

[expat]

Logic 101

Hoagland says "someone" hurled the meteorite at Siberia to show how defenseless we, meaning the human race, are.

American guy calls in from Chelyabinsk: "Actually I think an S2 missile shot something down. I heard two explosions."

Hoagland says (not verbatim) "Proves my point, I think."

NO RICHARD, IT REFUTES YOUR POINT. DEAR ME, DEAR ME.

[Yorkshire pud]

Logic 101

Hoagland says "someone" hurled the meteorite at Siberia to show how defenseless we, meaning the human race, are.

American guy calls in from Chelyabinsk: "Actually I think an S2 missile shot something down. I heard two explosions."

Hoagland says (not verbatim) "Proves my point, I think."

NO RICHARD, IT REFUTES YOUR POINT. DEAR ME, DEAR ME.

Is that Richard Cee Hoagland 'Science advisor' or Richard Cee Hoagland, charalatan, con artiste, snake oil salesman and all round tosser?

[George49]

Who cares about that stupid meteor that just went over Russia, it did minor damage and no one was killed. Now if an asteroid hit and wiped out Moscow or other main city, then we have something. In the meanwhile, lets not give Noory anymore ammunition to his 'doomsday scenarios' when there is never any conclusive evidence.