Things That Annoy You

[Treading Water]

But you can be smug in the knowledge that in the cold weather, their dicks are even smaller than the trucks compensate them for.

Ha, yeah.  I've met a bunch of them.  In fact Central PA might just be the teeny-dick capital of America.  Small brains, too.   :

[Treading Water]

I don't know what you guys are complaining about. Cold weather? It's beautiful here. I just turned on the air conditioning. That'll help contribute to global warming to ensure even colder winters for you. Just doing my bit.

Ohhhhhh, thank you jaz of the sexy accent.  I'll be sure to send Unscreened Caller a couple of restaurant names, myself...

[jazmunda]

Ohhhhhh, thank you jaz of the sexy accent.  I'll be sure to send Unscreened Caller a couple of restaurant names, myself...

Please nothing that will cause ass fountain. Or was that the point.

[Treading Water]

Please nothing that will cause ass fountain. Or was that the point.

Big, beautifully wrapped box of sugar-free gummy bears on their way as I type.... :
Faux sweets for my sweetie....

[wr250]

Big, beautifully wrapped box of sugar-free gummy bears on their way as I type.... :
Faux sweets for my sweetie....

then he can rage on through the night as well

[UnscreenedCaller]

Oh Jaz, that HAS to sting! 

Not immediately. Give it about 6 hours.

[jazmunda]

Utility companies who won't change the postal address of a grandparent who is in a home and unable to get on the fucking phone to confirm the change.

Luckily I was able to steal my grandmothers identity online and set up an account for her to change her address that way.

Fuck you you heartless fucks. One utility company wouldn't even let me pay my grandmothers bill on her behalf. Yeah like I want to go around and pay for random peoples bills. Fuck off.

/rant over

[UnscreenedCaller]

Ohhhhhh, thank you jaz of the sexy accent.  I'll be sure to send Unscreened Caller a couple of restaurant names, myself...

You're getting snow there, too, right? Oh, send those recs on up to me, lol.

[wr250]

Utility companies who won't change the postal address of a grandparent who is in a home and unable to get on the fucking phone to confirm the change.

Luckily I was able to steal my grandmothers identity online and set up an account for her to change her address that way.

Fuck you you heartless fucks. One utility company wouldn't even let me pay my grandmothers bill on her behalf. Yeah like I want to go around and pay for random peoples bills. Fuck off.

/rant over

been there,done that. except i had death certificates and court ordered executive power.

[FallenSeraph]

Chicks who get tattoos on their muffin tops.

[attachimg=1]

[attachimg=2]

Oh, honey. No.

[bateman]

EYE BLEACH. NEED EYE BLEACH.

[FallenSeraph]

People who get red lips tattooed on their necks.

[attachimg=1]

[attachimg=2]

Just stop.

[aldousburbank]

People who get red lips tattooed on their necks.

[attachimg=1]

[attachimg=2]

Just stop.

Mine is where it belongs. You know.

[Heather Wade]

Chicks who get tattoos on their muffin tops.

[attachimg=1]

[attachimg=2]

Oh, honey. No.

Lmao!!  I once knew a girl who got "Baby Girl" on her lower back in some kind of gangster cursive.  Yeah, that's going to age like fine beer.  *sigh* 

[jazmunda]

EYE BLEACH. NEED EYE BLEACH.

If Lena Dunham had a tattoo on her muffin top you'd need to have your retinas removed.

[jazmunda]

Mine is where it belongs. You know.

Does it say Wendy?

A young man in love  decided to have his girlfriends name tattooed on his penis. Her name was Wendy, and the tattoo was done while the penis was erect, so when it was not erect all you could see was WY. Shortly after the couple was married they went to Jamaica for their honeymoon. One day the man was in a bathroom and standing next to him at the urinal was a Jamaican man who also had a W Y on his penis.

The young man said to him "Oh is your girl named Wendy too?"

The Jamaican replied, "No, Mon, mine says, 'Welcome To Jamaica Have a Nice Day'".

Boom Tish.

[aldousburbank]

Does it say Wendy?

A young man in love  decided to have his girlfriends name tattooed on his penis. Her name was Wendy, and the tattoo was done while the penis was erect, so when it was not erect all you could see was WY. Shortly after the couple was married they went to Jamaica for their honeymoon. One day the man was in a bathroom and standing next to him at the urinal was a Jamaican man who also had a W Y on his penis.

The young man said to him "Oh is your girl named Wendy too?"

The Jamaican replied, "No, Mon, mine says, 'Welcome To Jamaica Have a Nice Day'".

Boom Tish.

Fucking Jaz.

[jazmunda]

got it beat - i ONCE knew a chick with hand prints on her back/hips

Classy.

[eddie dean]

Heh, yeah, I am being sooooo polite right now.  I have some speakers that would bring this place down, and the Slayer and/or Static X to scare the shit out of all these people.  But, alas, I want to move, and I want a good rental history.  Sorry for the ranting... but grrrrrrr.

I am going to the mental health tomorrow.  This fucking sucks.  Pathetic, I know.  Welcome to the Rude States of America, poor baby.

Metal Health helps me sometimes.

[Heather Wade]

Metal Health helps me sometimes.

Hell yeah.  Taxi flaked on me, so, Metal Health it is.  Far more reliable, with fewer side effects.

[steelbot]

Classy.

I had a bet going for a while on whose Hands they were, i guessed must be the dad of her first kid lol - glad I wasn't her BF - but we all did get a laugh during summer (bikini season) when she'd come strolling buy at the pool. 

[Birdie]

The older I get, the more I prefer winter over summer, but...I hate the dry skin cracks I get on my fingers in the winter. No matter how much lotion I use, it still happens (probably because I am a compulsive hand washer). I have one on the pad of my thumb right now and have been miserable all damn day. Ouch. You never realize how much you use or bump an area of skin until it has a big, sore, dry-around-the edges crack on it. Painful and annoying.

So far, the only way I have found to treat them is to lube the hell out of it with Neosporin, wrap with a thin strip of paper towel, and duct tape over the whole thing. Electrical tape works pretty well, too. But the wrap poses some issues for my compulsive hand washing...sigh.

[zeebo]

Cl assy.

fixed it for you.

[jazmunda]

fixed it for you.

I should have said she puts the ass in class.

[Treading Water]

The older I get, the more I prefer winter over summer, but...I hate the dry skin cracks I get on my fingers in the winter. No matter how much lotion I use, it still happens (probably because I am a compulsive hand washer). I have one on the pad of my thumb right now and have been miserable all damn day. Ouch. You never realize how much you use or bump an area of skin until it has a big, sore, dry-around-the edges crack on it. Painful and annoying.

So far, the only way I have found to treat them is to lube the hell out of it with Neosporin, wrap with a thin strip of paper towel, and duct tape over the whole thing. Electrical tape works pretty well, too. But the wrap poses some issues for my compulsive hand washing...sigh.

Super Glue.  Just a thin bead.   They have liquid bandage, but I think the Super Glue is pretty much the same and cheaper.  Should last through three or four washes...unless you're using one of those scrub brushes. (Ow)  Good luck.     

[AZZERAE]

Why the hell are cell phones getting larger instead of smaller?
I can't manage the size of this garbage.  Remember the Razor?
I want a razor.  Not a some unwieldy thing the size of a Pong controller.

And why do they still sound like shit?

Perhaps it's a "bigger is better" type of thing. But, also, they keep changing all the time because the cell phone companies want us buying shiny new stuff all the time for the sake of it being new. Give me a green screen Nokia and I'm all set. Who needs a smart phone? For what? To make yourself more available and give yourself less time in a day? No thank you! I agree with you-- and the fact they sound so awful is really a sad state of affairs, I mean, you have kids growing up getting cut off and being so used to it that they have to make multiple calls. The cell phone service providers are just trying to lock people into payments each month and make a buck.

[MV/Liberace!]

Fashioned by the careful hands of his wife, N_____, the food always carries the slightest hint of Rick's Café.

yeah, my wife is from africa, but jeeze, you don't have to go for the jugular.

[ItsOver]

Perhaps it's a "bigger is better" type of thing. But, also, they keep changing all the time because the cell phone companies want us buying shiny new stuff all the time for the sake of it being new. Give me a green screen Nokia and I'm all set. Who needs a smart phone? For what? To make yourself more available and give yourself less time in a day? No thank you! I agree with you-- and the fact they sound so awful is really a sad state of affairs, I mean, you have kids growing up getting cut off and being so used to it that they have to make multiple calls. The cell phone service providers are just trying to lock people into payments each month and make a buck.

I just want the phone to be large enough to fit my hand.  Shirt pocket size is big enough.  No larger.  Everybody looks like they're dragging around an Etch-a-Sketch now.

[bateman]

yeah, my wife is from africa, but jeeze, you don't have to go for the jugular.

Hahahahahaha!

[bateman]

http://youtu.be/GH68bSJXGE8

... are you fucking kidding me?