Things That Annoy You

[Birdie]

Yup, hate them, too. Almost as bad are the goobers who show up in court at a accused's trial wearing t-shirts bearing the faces and names of the victims. "Look, TV cameras, it's all about me!"

I don't get it when people have the birth and death dates of their loved one on the back windshield of their car. Or usually it is a truck. Why?
I see people on the news all the time, screaming and crying, with those tee shirts on. Have a little respect for your loved one and some dignity. You are so right- it is all 'look at me, look at me.' Disgusting.

[onan]

I don't get it when people have the birth and death dates of their loved one on the back windshield of their car. Or usually it is a truck.
I see people on the news all the time, screaming and crying, with those tee shirts on. Have a little respect for your loved one and show some dignity. You are so right- it is all 'look at me, look at me.'

When I die, I want to be cremated. Then my ashes taken aloft in a plane and scattered, with a sign saying "here ya go, have a piece of onan."

[Birdie]

I love what Hunter S. Thompson had done with his ashes. Freaking great.
I am definitely getting cremated, and find the idea of an embalmed body in a coffin, surrounded by a concrete vault weird and unnatural. And kind of creepy. There is no chance for the body to go to the earth. My husband and I have been discussing our final arrangements lately. One of our cats passed away last week and we got onto the topic of what we would like to have done in the end as we were making arrangements for her. It is a bit morbid, but necessary and interesting to discuss.

[UnscreenedCaller]

I don't get it when people have the birth and death dates of their loved one on the back windshield of their car. Or usually it is a truck. Why?
I see people on the news all the time, screaming and crying, with those tee shirts on. Have a little respect for your loved one and some dignity. You are so right- it is all 'look at me, look at me.' Disgusting.

They're all over the place here, plus roadside memorials and memorials painted on to the sides of buildings. I appreciate the sentiment, but find it ghoulish that the one thing someone wants to remember is the date a loved one died, or the place they were killed, instead of all the living, presumably happy, moments in between. I also hate myself for being judgmental, but there's nothing more pathetic than deflated roses and sodden teddy bears roadside.

When I die, I want to be cremated and just let me go. Much as I'd love a witty Tardis shaped urn, I'd rather be returned to the elements from which I came. The only memorials worth having are within the hearts of the people who love us.

[Juan]

In Florida, the undertakers have fixed it so that the law requires one to be embalmed prior to cremation. A nice example of crony capitalism.

[wr250]

In Florida, the undertakers have fixed it so that the law requires one to be embalmed prior to cremation. A nice example of crony capitalism.

is that like finding the death row prisoner hanging  by the neck, rushing him to the hospital and saving his life, then 2 days later executing him?

[area51drone]

When I die, I want to be cremated. Then my ashes taken aloft in a plane and scattered, with a sign saying "here ya go, have a piece of onan."

And Noory will get a call on open lines: "I was standing outside today and this weird plane was making these strange contrails.  All of the sudden, I had a this strange grey powdery substance all over my face.  It's a government conspiracy, I tell you!"

[bigchucka]

There's a funeral home in Columbus that says in ads that they can tailor make the funeral services for the deceased.  They loved gardening...plant flowers... race car for NASCAR fans....etc.

Thought about asking them.... I'm a fantasy fiction fan.  Like Robert Jordan, George RR Martin, JRR Tolkien, or David Eddings style of work.  What are the laws on funeral pyres these days?  Or another option, boat down a river and lit by a flaming arrow.  How hard is to to track someone down who can fire a flaming arrow well?  Or a simpler request.... are wailers available nowadays?  Thought I heard about a couple years ago someone was bringing that "service" back...

[steelbot]

There's a funeral home in Columbus that says in ads that they can tailor make the funeral services for the deceased.  They loved gardening...plant flowers... race car for NASCAR fans....etc.

Thought about asking them.... I'm a fantasy fiction fan.  Like Robert Jordan, George RR Martin, JRR Tolkien, or David Eddings style of work.  What are the laws on funeral pyres these days?  Or another option, boat down a river and lit by a flaming arrow.  How hard is to to track someone down who can fire a flaming arrow well?  Or a simpler request.... are wailers available nowadays?  Thought I heard about a couple years ago someone was bringing that "service" back...

Honestly the big roman fire cremations would work for me with everyone of loved ones there to witness and sing/dance/drink whatever around the fire - as long as someone special was there to take some of my ashes and dispose of them in a proper place, in accordance with my will, and the rest could take a part of me or not who cares, the rest just drift off into the air.

[Evil Twin Of Zen]

There's a funeral home in Columbus that says in ads that they can tailor make the funeral services for the deceased.  They loved gardening...plant flowers... race car for NASCAR fans....etc.

Thought about asking them.... I'm a fantasy fiction fan.  Like Robert Jordan, George RR Martin, JRR Tolkien, or David Eddings style of work.  What are the laws on funeral pyres these days?  Or another option, boat down a river and lit by a flaming arrow.  How hard is to to track someone down who can fire a flaming arrow well?  Or a simpler request.... are wailers available nowadays?  Thought I heard about a couple years ago someone was bringing that "service" back...

donation to a body farm would be interesting

[UnscreenedCaller]

Thought about asking them.... I'm a fantasy fiction fan.  Like Robert Jordan, George RR Martin, JRR Tolkien, or David Eddings style of work.  What are the laws on funeral pyres these days?  Or another option, boat down a river and lit by a flaming arrow.  How hard is to to track someone down who can fire a flaming arrow well?  Or a simpler request.... are wailers available nowadays?  Thought I heard about a couple years ago someone was bringing that "service" back...

The Viking lit arrow to the boat is always a good option, lol. There was a movie back in the 80's, Rocket Gibraltar,  where the patriarch of the family, Burt Lancaster, was sent off with a Viking funeral. That last scene of the flaming ship was memorable.

I'm a lifelong Tolkien fan myself. It's touching that his and his wife's tombstones have 'Beren' and 'Luthien' engraved on them. So fitting, and a lovely way to commemorate their relationship.

donation to a body farm would be interesting

I seriously am in awe of anyone who can do that. That takes a level of detachment to the physical that I just don't possess.

[FightTheFuture]

donation to a body farm would be interesting

Already have reservations. In a few years you'll be able to catch me chillin' on top of UT's Body Farm. 

[area51drone]

There's a funeral home in Columbus that says in ads that they can tailor make the funeral services for the deceased.  They loved gardening...plant flowers... race car for NASCAR fans....etc.

I would love it if a bit of my ashes were launched into space and sent into the sun. 

[Birdie]

There's a funeral home in Columbus that says in ads that they can tailor make the funeral services for the deceased.  They loved gardening...plant flowers... race car for NASCAR fans....etc.

Thought about asking them.... I'm a fantasy fiction fan.  Like Robert Jordan, George RR Martin, JRR Tolkien, or David Eddings style of work.  What are the laws on funeral pyres these days?  Or another option, boat down a river and lit by a flaming arrow.  How hard is to to track someone down who can fire a flaming arrow well?  Or a simpler request.... are wailers available nowadays?  Thought I heard about a couple years ago someone was bringing that "service" back...

That is funny, my husband wants a pyre and we were discussing it the other day. In Colorado, one company has permission to do 12 a year. But they do it on a concrete slab, no water send off. That really takes something out of the whole ceremony.  We were wondering about the availability of archers with the proper skill set, too.

[wr250]

spammers


Monty Python - Spam

[West of the Rockies]

I would love it if a bit of my ashes were launched into space and sent into the sun.

We are all made of star stuff....

[b_dubb]

I would love it if a bit of my ashes were launched into space and sent into the sun.

I used to think this too but then my cousin pointed out that carbon is thought to be able to kill a star.  Destroying the sun, the solar system, and all life on Earth would be the ulitmate dick move

[FightTheFuture]

I have a good friend that has written up an elaborate post-death sequence of events that he would like  carried out. It involves scattering some ashes in the Pacific, some ashes in the Atlantic and what remains, in the Grand Canyon, mixed together with his dog`s ashes.

As he`s laying this all out, all I can think about is....why?? What`s the point? I just don`t get it. Who the heck cares where your ashes end up?

[ItsOver]

That is funny, my husband wants a pyre and we were discussing it the other day. In Colorado, one company has permission to do 12 a year. But they do it on a concrete slab, no water send off. That really takes something out of the whole ceremony.  We were wondering about the availability of archers with the proper skill set, too.

Noory is always talking about  "packing heat."  I'm sure he could take aim with a flare gun to light things off.  Oh, yeah, that would be an "interesting" send-off.   He could make The Great Chicago Fire a small footnote in history. 

[UnscreenedCaller]

Noory is always talking about  "packing heat."  I'm sure he could take aim with a flare gun to light things off.  Oh, yeah, that would be an "interesting" send-off.   He could make The Great Chicago Fire a small footnote in history.

I don't wish the man ill, but would it be asking too much if the hearse had a scotch taped sign on the side with his name?

[Yorkshire pud]

I don't wish the man ill, but would it be asking too much if the hearse had a scotch taped sign on the side with his name?

Better still, get the hearse vinyl wrapped..would cost a few quid but his followers would chip in.  A big UFO on the sides, and transcripts in various places with the best ridiculous claims made by his guests..Hoagland would by default have a good proportion of space. 

[Uncle Duke]

Already have reservations. In a few years you'll be able to catch me chillin' on top of UT's Body Farm. 

Have you read Mary Roach's book, "Stiff"?  Her description of visiting the UT Body Farm was both disturbing and amusing at the same time.  Love that woman!

[BobGrau]

I used to think this too but then my cousin pointed out that carbon is thought to be able to kill a star.  Destroying the sun, the solar system, and all life on Earth would be the ulitmate dick move

Wh.. wha?

[area51drone]

I used to think this too but then my cousin pointed out that carbon is thought to be able to kill a star.  Destroying the sun, the solar system, and all life on Earth would be the ulitmate dick move

That would suit me just fine then, right?

[FightTheFuture]

Have you read Mary Roach's book, "Stiff"?  Her description of visiting the UT Body Farm was both disturbing and amusing at the same time.  Love that woman!

I have not read her book, but I am very familiar with the work done on the Body Farm. I`ve always had a keen interest in forensic medicine and great respect for it`s practitioners. By donating my remains, I thought it would kind of an homage to those who have dedicated themselves to such a fascinating line of work.

[VtaGeezer]

That is funny, my husband wants a pyre and we were discussing it the other day. In Colorado, one company has permission to do 12 a year. But they do it on a concrete slab, no water send off. That really takes something out of the whole ceremony.  We were wondering about the availability of archers with the proper skill set, too.

I'd stick with a dependable electric igniter. An archer's "Oops" could leave a rather distasteful final memory of yer hubby.

[bigchucka]

I'd stick with a dependable electric igniter. An archer's "Oops" could leave a rather distasteful final memory of yer hubby.

Especially if they're a fuckup and can't make the shot and have to have a family member push them aside.... but I digress...

That is funny, my husband wants a pyre and we were discussing it the other day. In Colorado, one company has permission to do 12 a year. But they do it on a concrete slab, no water send off. That really takes something out of the whole ceremony.  We were wondering about the availability of archers with the proper skill set, too.

Here is my public service announcement for you and anyone else that watches Game Of Thrones.  Shit might be getting ready to go down.  If you are behind, try to get caught up or be careful as fuck online if you don't want it ruined for you.  The web is dark and full of spoilers...


http://youtu.be/2j0mvu6-NSM

[Birdie]

There was a gigantic, and I mean colossally huge, spider on my bed yesterday and now I am anxious about getting under the sheets. Worse yet, the giant motherfucker was on me.
I was watching, coincidentally, Season 3 of Game of Thrones and lounging on the bed. I felt something on my shoulder and turned my head. I saw something scuttle away from me and into the crack between the mattress and the bedside table. I knew it was a freaking spider, and a big one, by the way it moved, but I told myself it was just a stinkbug. I moved to the other side of the bed.
Ten minutes later, I couldn't take it anymore and looked. The fitted sheet had pulled away from the corner of the mattress and the spider was on the mattress, getting ready to head under the sheet. It was so big, I didn't want the cats to see it and try to kill it.
I rescued my cigarettes and lighter from the bedside table and grabbed one of my clogs and a walking stick. Every time I tapped the area to get it to come out, it kept crawling onto my damn pillow. Then he would go back into the crack between the bed and table, another place where I could not deliver a good, solid smack with my clog. Gah.
Eventually, I grabbed a bottle of Lysol and hosed the area down. Not a quick, nice death, but at that point, I didn't care. And he was a hearty fellow, it took many direct hits with the stream setting to kill him. I don't mess with spiders outside, and I know they are beneficial and blah, blah, blah, but if they come into my house, they will die. I covered the body with a bowl and left it where it fell. My husband who (ridiculously) thinks I over react to spiders, disposed of the corpse when he got home. Even he was surprised at how big this thing was and took photos.
The bad part is I am freaked out about the bed now. I stripped the sheets and blankets and washed everything, just in case, but it is not helping. My hair tickling my back and arms keeps startling me, too. Dammit.

[wr250]

There was a gigantic, and I mean colossally huge, spider on my bed yesterday and now I am anxious about getting under the sheets. Worse yet, the giant motherfucker was on me.
I was watching, coincidentally, Season 3 of Game of Thrones and lounging on the bed. I felt something on my shoulder and turned my head. I saw something scuttle away from me and into the crack between the mattress and the bedside table. I knew it was a freaking spider, and a big one, by the way it moved, but I told myself it was just a stinkbug. I moved to the other side of the bed.
Ten minutes later, I couldn't take it anymore and looked. The fitted sheet had pulled away from the corner of the mattress and the spider was on the mattress, getting ready to head under the sheet. It was so big, I didn't want the cats to see it and try to kill it.
I rescued my cigarettes and lighter from the bedside table and grabbed one of my clogs and a walking stick. Every time I tapped the area to get it to come out, it kept crawling onto my damn pillow. Then he would go back into the crack between the bed and table, another place where I could not deliver a good, solid smack with my clog. Gah.
Eventually, I grabbed a bottle of Lysol and hosed the area down. Not a quick, nice death, but at that point, I didn't care. And he was a hearty fellow, it took many direct hits with the stream setting to kill him. I don't mess with spiders outside, and I know they are beneficial and blah, blah, blah, but if they come into my house, they will die. I covered the body with a bowl and left it where it fell. My husband who (ridiculously) thinks I over react to spiders, disposed of the corpse when he got home. Even he was surprised at how big this thing was and took photos.
The bad part is I am freaked out about the bed now. I stripped the sheets and blankets and washed everything, just in case, but it is not helping. My hair tickling my back and arms keeps startling me, too. Dammit.

photos or it didnt happen

[Birdie]

This is the photo I texted to my husband while I was bouncing around and trying to figure out what to do. That is as close as I got (other than when the thing was on my shoulder. Gah.) I didn't look at his photos because I have no desire to see this thing up close.