• Welcome to BellGab.com Archive.
 

Mormons

Started by anagrammy, January 29, 2011, 12:56:45 PM

The General

Quote from: Do you think it was angels? on February 19, 2011, 02:05:59 PM
I am not a moral relativist, or a cultural relativist, but a religious one, because if a religion is called to account for every interpretation of its scripture, they are all bizarre.

What folks do is compare the nicey-nice sects of religion A to the hardcore sects of religion B, and find the differences they're looking for, to satisfy their prejudices.
Well, if the differences exist, I don't see how calling them out is prejudiced.

Comparing mild Christians to extreme Muslims just because I want to hate Muslims? Comparing mild Muslims to extreme Christians just because I want to hate Christians?

Apples to apples, man! Compare everything that's been done in Jesus' name, to everything that's been done in Mohammed's name. You won't find too much difference then.

The General

Quote from: Do you think it was angels? on February 19, 2011, 02:22:55 PM
Apples to apples, man! Compare everything that's been done in Jesus' name, to everything that's been done in Mohammed's name. You won't find too much difference then.

Yeah, I get ya.  But the bulk of Christian atrocities happened with the crusades, hundreds of years ago.  Christianity went through a reformation. I think it's time for a Muslim reformation.  That's all.

And don't forget that the crusades were a backlash against Muslim conquest to begin with.
I'm not a Christian, by the way.

Christianity reformed because of pressure from atheists and agnostics, skepticism and science. Christians shouldn't really take credit for it, although the West should be proud.

onan

Quote from: Do you think it was angels? on February 19, 2011, 02:05:59 PM
I am not a moral relativist, or a cultural relativist, but a religious one, because if a religion is called to account for every interpretation of its scripture, they are all bizarre.

What folks do is compare the nicey-nice sects of religion A to the hardcore sects of religion B, and find the differences they're looking for, to satisfy their prejudices.

I agree with your position. I have several Muslim friends by every measure I find they seem more forgiving more tolerant and sensitive than my christian coworkers. Anecdotely I have to have surgery this coming week and have taken the last several days off to rest before going into the hospital. Three people from work have called to find out how I am doing and offered help if I need it, all 3 are muslim. Not a scientific poll, I know... just sayin.

I do not trust anyone that categorizes groups into targets to fear, hate, or vilify. It is way too easy to fall into that trap.

Are there people out there to fear? absolutely, I wonder though what is being broadcast to people in the middle east to pander to them? A picture of cheney riding a cross with two missle launchers akimbo. ok probably not that.


JustOneFix

Everytime I hear the word Mormons I think of the "Mormon Mafia" that surrounded Howard Hughes in his later days.

Marc.Knight

Why can't other religions have their own underwear?  Dammit.


http://www.mormon-underwear.com/

anagrammy

Marc, hi,

I am wearing my Presbyterian panties today, what are you wearing?

Anagrammy

PS.  Any time you find a religion that decides being a "peculiar" people is going to get them noticed, they are surrounded by a ring of comedians and I am determined to bring the funniest to my Coastgab friends.  Recently a fellow exMormon posted on Amazon a review of the Book of Mormon done in Book of Mormon-style writing punctuated by comedic barbs.  Stay tuned.

b_dubb

i'm rocking my methodist banana hammock

praise jesus

Marc.Knight

Quote from: anagrammy on February 19, 2011, 08:59:51 PM
Marc, hi,

I am wearing my Presbyterian panties today, what are you wearing?

Anagrammy

PS.  Any time you find a religion that decides being a "peculiar" people is going to get them noticed, they are surrounded by a ring of comedians and I am determined to bring the funniest to my Coastgab friends.  Recently a fellow exMormon posted on Amazon a review of the Book of Mormon done in Book of Mormon-style writing punctuated by comedic barbs.  Stay tuned.




Maybe I could invent Catholic socks or something.  Or, Baptist Briefs.  Catchy.

anagrammy

Marc, b_dubb and I have just revealed to the world that we have no life.  It is Saturday night, people, and we are online under "Mormons"?

Really?

Anagrammy

JustOneFix

Most religion strikes me odd.  I used to live within spitting distance of the Scientology headquarters in Clearwater, FL. Oh man, that's a story for the Scientology thread if there is one.

I never knew the Mormons had to wear specific undies, or as Snoory calls them "Hy-undies" LOL

Marc.Knight

Quote from: Marc Knight on February 19, 2011, 09:05:03 PM



Maybe I could invent Catholic socks or something.  Or, Baptist Briefs.  Catchy.




Holy crap.  I spoke too soon.


http://www.catholicfaithstore.com/Store/Products/Catalog/-846-436/2.html




JustOneFix

Quote from: anagrammy on February 19, 2011, 09:06:07 PM
Marc, b_dubb and I have just revealed to the world that we have no life.  It is Saturday night, people, and we are online under "Mormons"?

Really?

Anagrammy

May as well add me to that list, here I am an Atheist reading a Mormon thread while sitting here drinking a cold beer listening to Somewhere in Time.  Works for me.....

anagrammy

AWESOME BOOK OF MORMON REVIEW that got pulled from Amazon (written in Joseph Smith style):

1. And it came to pass that I, TANSTAAFL, having been born of Mormon parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father; which included the Book of Mormon, and having seen many afflictions and cognitive dissonance in the course of my days because of the fact that I was raised in the Mormon religion and having read the Book of Mormon nigh unto twenty times, nevertheless, yea, having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mischievousness of Loki, therefore I make a book review of the Book of Moron.

2. Yea, I make a record of my review in the language of English, and not Reformed Egyptian - the language of the Book of Mormon, because everyone knoweth that no one speaks Reformed Egyptian anyway. Behold, I make an abridgment of the review upon computer which I have made with mine own hands; (the review, not the computer) wherefore, after I have abridged the review then will I make an account of mine own review and if thou findest this sentence difficult for your understandings to comprehend then thou wilt not enjoy reading the Book of Mormon, for I make the record of my review in the idiom of the book of Mormon author. Yea, verily, it came to pass that exceedingly more confusing than Yoda-speak it is.

3. And it came to pass that thus were written the first two paragraphs of my review. And I know that the review which I write true; and I make it with mine own computer; and I make it according to my knowledge. And thus passeth away even the third paragraph also.

4. And it came to pass that my review having been limited to 1000 words by the amazon.com web-site, I realized that my choice of writing style, that being the style inflicted upon the reader by Joseph Smith Jr., Author and Proprietor of the Book of Mormon, was not a good choice for one limited to a small number of words, or for that matter an odd choice for the inhabitants of the ancient Americas who supposedly had to inscribe the lengthy and frequently rambling and meaningless prose on gold plates where space was at a premium.

5. And it came to pass that this part of the review, yea even the middlest part, I shall shew unto you the parts of the review that review the book of which I revieweth. And it came to pass that I chose not to detail in this review the thousands of revisions which the Mormons made to the book after Joseph Smith wrote it, which was supposedly perfectly "translated" by a gift from god, or the many anachronisms which the author included, yea not even the horses that the ancient Americans supposedly had despite the fact that the horse arrived with Columbus nor the steel weapons. Nor even shall I comment upon 54 chapters dealing with wars that bear no resemblance to the actual wars that took place in the ancient Americas, yea and I especially shall not comment upon the accounts of wars with nonsensical accounts of million man armies fighting to the last man and their bones and steel weapons disappearing from the face of the earth. Yea, and it followeth that I also chose not to comment on the many plagiarisms and yea, even plagiarisms of mistranslations, which were included in the book. Yea, verily I chose not to comment on the writing or the story of the book, which Mark Twain called "chloroform in print," especially since I find that remark exceedingly disparaging to chloroform. For it came to pass in the commencement of my preparation for the writing of the review, I realized that a review of the book which pointed out its flaws would be so long, yea, so long as to be longer than the book itself. Yea, and thus passeth away even the middlest part of the review, the exceedingly longest paragraph, even though it merely toucheth upon the thousands of give-aways as to the fraudulent nature of the book. For yea, this review cannot contain even a millionth part of what was so exceedingly poorly written in the Book of Mormon.

6. And it came to pass that I decided that my review of the book should mention, before concluding, a list of some of the main themes of the Book of Mormon, and yea I verily mention them thusly: (1) Killing is good, if thou art a teenager and thou hearest voices in thine head telling thee to kill someone, preferably someone drunk so they cannot fight back. 1 Nephi 4 (2) If thou disobeyest God, he will curse thee with a dark skin, 3 Nephi 5:21, Jacob 3:5, Alma 3:6, but (3) If thou art a personage of dark skin, God will make thee white and delightsome, if thou wilt consent to join his church. 3 Nephi 3:15 (4) After Jesus, yea even Christ Our Lord, was killed, he camest to the Americas and killed millions of Native Americans, 3 Nephi 8-9, and (5) Women art completely insignificant except occasionally as breeding stock, passim.

7. And there are many things more which transpired in the Book of Mormon which, in the eyes of some, would be considered great and marvelous, but despite having read the book upwards of twenty times, I cannot remember even one. For there are some who say "it stinketh not," but as for me it doth stink, exceedingly.

8. Thus, I make an end to my abridgement of my review, yea, and now I bid unto all, adieu. I soon go to rest in the paradise of mine abode, until my spirit and body shall again recover from the taxing effort of writing in such an exceedingly nauseating style. Amen.

b_dubb

i have a life.  it's just very quiet.  and somewhat dull at times.  which is fine considering how messed up i was during my 20's

Marc.Knight

Quote from: anagrammy on February 19, 2011, 09:06:07 PM
Marc, b_dubb and I have just revealed to the world that we have no life.  It is Saturday night, people, and we are online under "Mormons"?

Really?

Anagrammy




.... and talking about their underwear.  Jesus.  :)



Marc.Knight

Quote from: anagrammy on February 19, 2011, 09:08:57 PM
AWESOME BOOK OF MORMON REVIEW that got pulled from Amazon (written in Joseph Smith style):

1. And it came to pass......




Some of the Amazon Reviews are better written and more entertaining than the actual books.

anagrammy

Quote from: JustOneFix on February 19, 2011, 09:06:32 PM

I never knew the Mormons had to wear specific undies, or as Snoory calls them "Hy-undies" LOL

Most Mormons have no clue as to the origination of their "garments," as they are called in Mormondom.  Today's Mormons wear them after they have gone to the temple and done their rituals and made their oaths to not tell, and there are marks on the nipple and belly button areas to serve as reminders.

The garments originated with the Masonic temple ritual in which a knife is cut into a man's shirt over both nipples, his belly button and his right knee.  The Masons had the scar to serve as a reminder.  Joseph Smith became a 32nd degree Mason and stole their ritual for his new church, as a way to keep his philanderings under wraps.  Participants in Smith's ceremony were told that polygamy was commanded and was required for exaltation into the highest heaven, the Celestial Kingdom.  Emma Smith was told about this and said absolutely not, no way are you going to carve this gorgeous body for your boy's club nonsense.  So instead of a knife, the garments came with pre-cut slices over the same places and Emma used red thread to symbolically represent the blood.  Over time, the red disappeared and the garments now come with what looks like curiously shaped buttonholes over breasts, navel and knee.

From the standpoint of folk religion, stories continually circulate regarding the magic properties of garments:  that they protect you from harm, that they will keep the portion covered by garments from being burned in a fire, that if you keep them on during sex, your child so conceived will be more spiritual, and so on.  I have had people show me an arm scarred by fire to above the elbow, stopping at shirtsleeve area and had them tell me in all earnestness that their garments protected them.  At the same time, I am looking at the scars on their face and thinking what a strange god to prefer a preserved torso to a preserved face, but hey, that's just me.

Anagrammy from religiomundo

aldousburbank

Quote from: JustOneFix on February 19, 2011, 09:08:14 PM
May as well add me to that list, here I am an Atheist reading a Mormon thread while sitting here drinking a cold beer listening to Somewhere in Time.  Works for me.....

Pretty much same thing here, sitting around in the magic underwear, having some chai tea with the wives.

HAL 9000

Quote from: anagrammyI am wearing my Presbyterian panties today, what are you wearing?

Well, I'm wearing the original underwear God gave me when I was born.

Don't worry - I put a towel down over the chair first....


Marc.Knight

Quote from: anagrammy on February 19, 2011, 09:06:07 PM
Marc, b_dubb and I have just revealed to the world that we have no life.  It is Saturday night, people, and we are online under "Mormons"?

Really?

Anagrammy




This might be a good "I need a life meter". :)



b_dubb

oh well i don't have anything to worry about then. joy!

Marc.Knight

Quote from: HAL 9000 on February 19, 2011, 09:36:44 PM
Well, I'm wearing the original underwear God gave me when I was born.

Don't worry - I put a towel down over the chair first....





MV/Liberace!

Quote from: onan on February 19, 2011, 07:04:46 PM
Three people from work have called to find out how I am doing and offered help if I need it, all 3 are muslim.
i'm not at all surprised by this.  arabs tend to show a great degree of concern in these matters.


hope you're doing alright.  you're not dying or anything, are you?

MV/Liberace!

oh, and i'm wearing my buddhist ball-gag.

Quote from: onan on February 19, 2011, 07:04:46 PM
I agree with your position. I have several Muslim friends by every measure I find they seem more forgiving more tolerant and sensitive than my christian coworkers. Anecdotely I have to have surgery this coming week and have taken the last several days off to rest before going into the hospital. Three people from work have called to find out how I am doing and offered help if I need it, all 3 are muslim. Not a scientific poll, I know... just sayin.

I do not trust anyone that categorizes groups into targets to fear, hate, or vilify. It is way too easy to fall into that trap.

Are there people out there to fear? absolutely, I wonder though what is being broadcast to people in the middle east to pander to them? A picture of cheney riding a cross with two missle launchers akimbo. ok probably not that.

Good luck with your surgery!

onan

thanks for the concern... no, just a series of surgeries to fix my trachea... due to a surgery many years ago because I was intubated too tightly my trachea has narrowed to the diameter less than a straw... bleh

yeah will be fine just a pain in the neck (literally) and recovery

anagrammy

Quote from: onan on February 20, 2011, 07:43:03 PM
thanks for the concern... no, just a series of surgeries to fix my trachea... due to a surgery many years ago because I was intubated too tightly my trachea has narrowed to the diameter less than a straw... bleh

yeah will be fine just a pain in the neck (literally) and recovery

Best of luck with your recovery, Onan.  Thank goodness being unable to speak won't silence your voice here!  I always enjoy your posts and wish you the best. 

Anagrammy


Powered by SMFPacks Menu Editor Mod