Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.

[ItsOver]

"How are you?" becomes "how is yo slick ass?  I'd love to hear Dave say that on air, while doing his characteristic drag-out of "yo." 

[WildCard]

"We regret dat Mista Muthafuckin Coulombe aint gonna be appearin as scheduled on dis evening's broadcast of "Coast ta Coast AM wit George Noory" cuz of tha reluctizzle of tha show's ballaz ta permit Mista Muthafuckin Coulombe ta drop a rhyme on certain topics.

Charlez Coulombe is tha lyricist of nuff muthafuckin books on diverse subjects as well as a much valued n' sought afta commentator on tha Catholic Church n' on various ballistical, hood, n' cultural issues. Mista Muthafuckin Coulombe's positions n' opinions is a matter of hood record. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Well shiiiit, it is these opinions which was made well known ta tha ballaz of "Coast ta Coast AM" nuff muthafuckin months up in advizzle of dis evening's planned broadcast. (CC's pimpment crew)"

[ItsOver]

"My biiiatch Tommy n' mah wild-ass ass be headed up fo' dinner fo' some Chicago all beef dawgs, da bomb.  Stay away from dem pizzy rolls. They'll break ma foot off up in yo ass bad."

[Mind Flayer Monk]

Run Coastgab.com (it doesn't work with Bellgab) through www.gizoogle.net and see what happens. Pay close attention to the upper right corner and the list of last posts as well as the user names for a big LOL.

gizgoogle is our only defense against the (letter before O).(letter before T).(letter before B).

[ItsOver]

gizgoogle is our only defense against the (letter before O).(letter before T).(letter before B).

I'm thinking they employ some ladies like The Beaver's mom to break the code.


Barbara Billingsly speaks jive

[Renaldo]

Goddammed if I don't need to download the July 19th 2007 show. hahaha

I'm laughing too hard to get through all of these.

[Renaldo]

"I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch."

I'm going to try to work that into everything I say, every day for the rest of my life.

[Sardondi]

Holy crap. Bar serves cocaine: http://knowledgenuts.com/2013/08/30/the-worlds-first-cocaine-serving-bar/

Okay, I've heard of sex tourism, so why not narco tourism? At $14 per gram for coke of "unprecedented purity", I'd think some folks would be lining up for tickets to La Paz.

[aldousburbank]

How Quickening is this? The Big AB is returning, the little ab (yo) returns from cosmic exile, and today I see GuildN, AquaG, and now Annagrammy online? WTwhat?

[BobGrau]

Found my first shrooms of the season today. Wasn't even looking for em. The year's a-passin quickly folks.

[aldousburbank]

This is part of why I love The West
An artifact from the road

[The General]

New from C. Crane Enterprises...
The Hand Crank Peanut Butter Mixer

[attachimg=1]

[aldousburbank]

Onan, too quiet. Where the hell are you dude?  You're a hidden lurker maybe?  Not that there's anything wrong with that.

[Nucky Nolan]

Onan, too quiet. Where the hell are you dude?  You're a hidden lurker maybe?  Not that there's anything wrong with that.

He was a guest on MV's show. They mentioned it in the podcasts thread.

[aldousburbank]

Shat, I missed it?

[SR-71]

This is part of why I love The West
An artifact from the road

Is that what happen to Fort Rock's army??

[aldousburbank]

I EAT FT. ROCK'S SCORPION ARMY LIKE CANDY FOR BREAKFAST YAAHHH

[ItsOver]

Is that what happened to Fort Rock's army??

If you can't beat 'em, eat 'em.

[ItsOver]

I EAT FT. ROCK'S SCORPION ARMY LIKE CANDY FOR BREAKFAST YAAHHH

I love the smell of Ft. Rock's scorpion army in the morning.  It smells like Bravo Sierra.

[Sardondi]

As much as I usually enjoy Stephen Fry, this flap seems the height of stupidity: he goes on tv and the Oscar Wilde wannabe spins a limerick about pedophilia ("paedophilia" for our British friends). http://www.theguardian.com/media/2013/aug/29/stephen-fry-paedophilia-limerick-apology-bbc

Fry's gaffe occurred while hosting the BBC2 TV quiz show QI. Here is his limerick, which really seems fine until it reaches its, uh, climax. That last line scores very high on my ick factor.

     "There was a young chaplain from King's
      Who talked about God and such things;
      But his real desire
      Was a boy in the choir
      With a bottom like jelly on springs."

What makes it more embarrassing for BBC is the fact the network is currently undergoing a torturous investigation of how it was that Jimmy Savile, possibly BBC TV's most popular personality for much of his 5 decade tenure there, could have molested, sexually assaulted and raped literally hundreds - thousands? - of underage boys and girls during that time. But even worse is that Savile came into contact with many of his victims as the host of popular BBC tv shows such as Top Of The Pops and Jim'll Fix It. Even worse: many rapes and assaults took place in BBC's offices and grounds. And the worst, by far: everyone in the BBC chain of command, from the chairman down to the janitor, knew Savile would screw the crack of dawn. And worked like demons to keep it covered up. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_Savile*

So let's overlook for the moment that Savile looked exactly like the nasty, greasy giganto-pervert he was....

,

....it just defies belief that Fry wouldn't have Savile's sins foremost in his mind when he noodled around with limericks to delight and amuse his audience that week. Okay, so Savile's interests and Fry's might have been in some ways similar, true. Still, he should have known how offensive it would be.

Oh, the best part? As soon as Fry's quiz show ended, the next BBC2 program was...a news show about the Jimmy Savile investigation. Ah, timing is everything to a comic, eh, Steve?



*I really wish it was possible to get post-mortem civil judgments, because I'd love to see the rotting corpses of some BBC Directors-General dug up and put on public display for their sins against Savile's countless, defenseless victim. (Of course it might have been just Reith!) Just imagine the terrible pain and crushing heartache Savile caused, and what his victims may have themselves passed on, due to the vampire-like nature of pedophilia. Chillingly, Savile was quite aware of what was going to happen to his reputation as soon as he died, as he noted in diary entries. The mind boggles at the disgusting selfishness and lust of his sociopathy. 

[BobGrau]

Okay, so Savile's interests and Fry's might have been in some ways similar, true.

I like you Sardondi, never doubt it, but on this one you can go fuck yourself.
Homosexual equates to raping children? Really?

[MV/Liberace!]

Greetings from the Minneapolis/St. Paul Airport. I'm on my way to Morocco. I'll be back in a month. Any problems, please click the "report post" link.

Cheers,
Michael

P.S. This message was sent to you from the Larry Craig stall. Hope you're impressed by that.

[Eddie Coyle]

Greetings from the Minneapolis/St. Paul Airport. I'm on my way to Morocco. I'll be back in a month. Any problems, please click the "report post" link.

Cheers,
Michael

P.S. This message was sent to you from the Larry Craig stall. Hope you're impressed by that.

       Tap twice for us!

         Have fun and wave at the USAF as they fly over on their way to dropping ordnance for peace in Syria. After that happens...remember, you're from Denmark.

[MV/Liberace!]

After that happens...remember, you're from Denmark.

You think temporary Canadian citizenship might be better for me? I think I'm too fat to be from Denmark.

[Eddie Coyle]

You think temporary Canadian citizenship might be better for me? I think I'm too fat to be from Denmark.

       Yeah, that's our conundrum, we're always going to be sniffed out as Americans because of our girth. I have a perfect brogue...but my beer belly gives it away and would get me blindfolded and shackled into a dank Beirut dungeon.

[MV/Liberace!]

EC... this exchange has caused me to reevaluate. I'll be tossing my "Israel +1" T-shirt in the Larry Craig Suite trash can. It's a 15 minute walk back to that bathroom, but I just enjoy being in there.

[Eddie Coyle]

EC... this exchange has caused me to reevaluate. I'll be tossing my "Israel +1" T-shirt in the Larry Craig Suite trash can. It's a 15 minute walk back to that bathroom, but I just enjoy being in there.

        It's so rude and disgusting when dudes go in there to actually go the bathroom. Creeps.

         The Star of David emblazoned on every bit of apparel I own and the full tattoo/mosaic of Barbara Streisand on my back could possibly tip them off. And the yarmulke covering my Adam Sandler-like Jewfro.

[stevesh]

I had to give a shoutout to Diana Nyad, who finally successfully swam from Cuba to Florida without a shark cage (52 hours in the water). The woman is my age (64) and I can barely walk across the street. Congratulations.

[bateman]

I like emailing Craigslist sellers with ridiculous lowball offers in broken English, like, "HELLO NICE LEXUS BUT MANY MILES SEAT IS A RIP AND MUCH TO FIX WILL YOU TAKE 1000 CASH IN MY HAND" and then email them from a different account with a real (but still low) offer. More often than not, they'll take my second offer. If nothing else, it's good for a laugh.

[sleeplessinca]

You crack me up Bateman.

Have you heard of P-P-P-Powerbook?  It's the story of how a guy scams a scammer by stringing him along and finally sending him the saddest excuse for a laptop you ever saw.  He uses a binder.  Hell - if you haven't heard of it you should (so should everyone else).

I remember reading a play by play years ago that was hilarious.  Here's a link to a shortened version of the story with pictures. 

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/events/p-p-p-powerbook