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Started by timpate, September 20, 2010, 07:56:24 PM


onan

Quote from: bateman on August 07, 2013, 06:03:30 PM
http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2013/08/still-no-proof-that-children-make-us-happy.html

I haven't read the study. But I hope it has more focus than this report. First what is happy? Second how do you separate different contexts to show happiness from offspring versus other life goals, or for that matter, different aspects of socialization.

Seems like a waste of research dollars to me.

bateman

Quote from: onan on August 07, 2013, 06:42:59 PM
I haven't read the study. But I hope it has more focus than this report. First what is happy? Second how do you separate different contexts to show happiness from offspring versus other life goals, or for that matter, different aspects of socialization.

Seems like a waste of research dollars to me.

QuoteThe metrics and methods that social scientists use in studying happiness are still shifting, still being refined.

onan

Quote from: bateman on August 07, 2013, 07:26:28 PM


It is a bullshit study. Happy isn't quantifiable. Stability is. Safety is. I have a client that is happy whenever he has cocaine. What does that mean? It means happy, if the only measurement, is a poor target to judge anything of relevance.

Is happy a goal? sure sometimes, but at other times abstaining from pleasure can be much more healthy.

I am not saying a discussion over children isn't worthwhile. I am saying the study is hardly worthwhile. It is more of the same crap that existence has to be about one aspect of mood. If only life were that simple.

bateman

Quote from: onan on August 07, 2013, 08:05:25 PM
It is a bullshit study. Happy isn't quantifiable. Stability is. Safety is. I have a client that is happy whenever he has cocaine. What does that mean? It means happy, if the only measurement, is a poor target to judge anything of relevance.

Is happy a goal? sure sometimes, but at other times abstaining from pleasure can be much more healthy.

I am not saying a discussion over children isn't worthwhile. I am saying the study is hardly worthwhile. It is more of the same crap that existence has to be about one aspect of mood. If only life were that simple.

Self-report studies aren't invalid, though they obviously rely on measurements that aren't easily quantifiable.

onan

Quote from: bateman on August 07, 2013, 08:09:24 PM
Self-report studies aren't invalid, though they obviously rely on measurements that aren't easily quantifiable.

Then what is the point? I must seem very contentious. Forgive me, I am not trying to argue with you, but rather the article.

Life is complicated and how we use our emotions in conjunction with our intellect is an ever changing paradigm. Asking a mother that has been awake for 60 hours due to a sick child is much different than asking a mother that just watched her child take their first step. Both emotions are transitory. Happiness often is more about how one can reframe the thoughts and memories than it is about how one feels in the moment. They can be very different contexts yet both are very real.

Does Madison Avenue sell the idea that babies are exquisite experiences and there will be nothing but joy? Yep they do, but framing one's goals on a fantasy is a recipe for extreme disappointment.

If you like what the study says... keep on going. I will pass on it thanks.

If only it convinces a few people that shouldn't be parents not have any

onan

Quote from: Paper*Boy on August 07, 2013, 08:31:17 PM
If only it convinces a few people that shouldn't be parents not have any

your lips, god's ears

bateman

Quote from: onan on August 07, 2013, 08:22:53 PM
Then what is the point? I must seem very contentious. Forgive me, I am not trying to argue with you, but rather the article.

Life is complicated and how we use our emotions in conjunction with our intellect is an ever changing paradigm. Asking a mother that has been awake for 60 hours due to a sick child is much different than asking a mother that just watched her child take their first step. Both emotions are transitory. Happiness often is more about how one can reframe the thoughts and memories than it is about how one feels in the moment. They can be very different contexts yet both are very real.

Does Madison Avenue sell the idea that babies are exquisite experiences and there will be nothing but joy? Yep they do, but framing one's goals on a fantasy is a recipe for extreme disappointment.

If you like what the study says... keep on going. I will pass on it thanks.

Feelings are almost always transitory, but drug companies rely on self-report studies all the time to gauge side effects.

It's not that I "like" what the study says, I guess it's just that some parents can be condescending pricks about their "rewarding" experience of having kids, when the honest reality is, their own feelings can paint a different picture than the utopian version of parenthood they sometimes seem desperate to sell.

bateman

Quote from: Paper*Boy on August 07, 2013, 08:31:17 PM
If only it convinces a few people that shouldn't be parents not have any

If only..


onan

Quote from: bateman on August 07, 2013, 08:33:00 PM
Feelings are almost always transitory, but drug companies rely on self-report studies all the time to gauge side effects.

It's not that I "like" what the study says, I guess it's just that some parents can be condescending pricks about their "rewarding" experience of having kids, when the honest reality is, their own feelings can paint a different picture than the utopian version of parenthood they sometimes seem desperate to sell.

This is getting off base. Self reporting side effects has nothing to do with how a medication affects mood. Granted with too many side effects the medication probably won't be used. But that has nothing to do with happy.

There are many reasons why parents may be condescending, it may also be an inaccurate observation by the person believing they are being talked down to. None of that gives any credibility to self reporting.

Your last paragraph is much too complicated to reply in a forum. Being social creatures we often measure our behaviors against others in the same setting. We also measure how much we trust what we see in others, but that often speaks more to our own internal struggles than it does the ones we observe. Many evaluate those measurements as good or bad, worthwhile or not, and valuable or worthless. It would be much healthier to accommodate healthy behaviors and leave the others alone... Like I said much too complicated to try to explain.

Sardondi

Quote from: bateman on August 06, 2013, 06:09:50 PM
Beautiful photography
I just now followed the link. Agog. Amazed. Astounded. Speechless - I am without speech. Plus I was scared by about half of them. Don't know how, since they were photos, but they frightened me not only for the persons depicted (rock climbing: How? HOW?!!?!?! Does anyone here do that freestyle rock climbing?), but for me as well as I imagined my complete freeze-up terror in that situation.

The dolphins particularly affected me, and reminded me of a vacation we took to the beautiful beaches of the Florida Panhandle on the Gulf of Mexico (not the Gulf of Mexico where Obama thinks Charleston SC, Savannah GA, & Jacksonville FL are)* when my son was about 5. Clear, aquamarine water and sugar-white sand. We saw a pod of about 8-10 dolphins not too far offshore, and I took my son out to them. I held him in my arms as the water was to my upper chest. These dolphins let us right next to them, and in fact they swam just past us as if in review. I think they were circling and coming back by for repeated stroking. They let us rub them, and seemed to enjoy it. I'll always remember it. My son says the same.



* "Even here? Is there no rest stop? No neutral zone?! Sanctuary!!!"

stevesh

From Dan Lyke at Flutterby:

"I have been complaining for years now that if all of this big data mining were actually worthwhile, then various advertising networks would give me ads for things I'm actually interested in. For the most part, however, they just give me ads for things I've already bought."

Me, too.

Sardondi

Quote from: stevesh on August 08, 2013, 03:58:18 AMFrom Dan Lyke at Flutterby:"I have been complaining for years now that if all of this big data mining were actually worthwhile, then various advertising networks would give me ads for things I'm actually interested in. For the most part, however, they just give me ads for things I've already bought." Me, too.
You know, for a technology that was supposed to be the real Big Brother, how come all this data mining can't do anything but deluge me with ads for the one thing in the world I am absolutely, positively not going to buy? That being the thing which I've just bought, which is apparently the only thing which all this data mining can detect, although it can't simultaneously determine that item is the last thing on earth I will spend money on.

It's looking like data mining as an ad strategy is for only those retailers which have 1) way too much money, and 2) a board of directors that isn't very interested in either how that money is spent, or whether its ad policy is effective. Which describes perhaps a couple of family-owned corporations but nothing else in the for-profit sector. 

Juan

For me, it also shows me things I've looked at but did not buy - particularly things on Amazon and Guitar Center.

Tinfoil Hat

Quote from: Sardondi on August 08, 2013, 10:18:42 AM
You know, for a technology that was supposed to be the real Big Brother, how come all this data mining can't do anything but deluge me with ads for the one thing in the world I am absolutely, positively not going to buy? That being the thing which I've just bought, which is apparently the only thing which all this data mining can detect, although it can't simultaneously determine that item is the last thing on earth I will spend money on.

It's looking like data mining as an ad strategy is for only those retailers which have 1) way too much money, and 2) a board of directors that isn't very interested in either how that money is spent, or whether its ad policy is effective. Which describes perhaps a couple of family-owned corporations but nothing else in the for-profit sector.

There's probably legions of tech companies out there whose sole purpose is to milk their clients for all they can.

By the way, does anyone know why this forum seems to want me to marry an Asian/Russian mail bride?

Eddie Coyle


       Here's why I'm going to Heaven no matter how bad I am.

       In my days as a custodian, I had to deal with the Axis of Evil of (1) "The Mad Shitter" (2) "The Bowlwinder" (3) The Haitian woman who flushed tampons.Every day. 

     

Usagi

For some reason, I was just wondering what happened to that weirdo Roger.

Eddie Coyle

Quote from: Usagi on August 09, 2013, 12:24:35 AM
For some reason, I was just wondering what happened to that weirdo Roger.

       Hopefully decaying under an avalanche of printouts of his posts here.

Nucky Nolan

Could Greg Gutfeld be more of a security statist? I buy that he's a fiscal conservative. I buy that he's a libertarian....sexually and socially. I doubt that he gives two shakes about the Constitution.

onan


Quote from: Usagi on August 09, 2013, 12:24:35 AM
For some reason, I was just wondering what happened to that weirdo Roger.


Quote from: Eddie Coyle on August 09, 2013, 12:42:31 AM
       Hopefully decaying under an avalanche of printouts of his posts here.

I love you guys.

Nucky Nolan

Quote from: Eddie Coyle on August 09, 2013, 12:42:31 AM
       Hopefully decaying under an avalanche of printouts of his posts here.

Ouch! That's a little rough, ain't it, Eddie? :-\

Quote from: Nucky Nolan on August 09, 2013, 04:10:26 AM
Ouch! That's a little rough, ain't it, Eddie? :-\

Look back.  Dare ya' to read those posts for more than ten real minutes without a break... ;)

stevesh

Australia is home to an estimated one million feral camels.

Quote from: stevesh on August 09, 2013, 04:41:19 AM
Australia is home to an estimated one million feral camels.


Yeah, I can understand why and how that came to be, as Aussie was tooling around with the notion of a camel corps around the same time we were (mid 19th century), however, I just wonder why we never saw feral camels in the Southwest USA.

I suspect it has to do with  the difference between predators down under and here.

b_dubb

Quote from: FightTheFuture on August 09, 2013, 05:27:17 AM

Yeah, I can understand why and how that came to be, as Aussie was tooling around with the notion of a camel corps around the same time we were (mid 19th century), however, I just wonder why we never saw feral camels in the Southwest USA.

I suspect it has to do with  the difference between predators down under and here.
I hear camel burgers are quite tasty. And given camels reputed fondness for spitting on people I can imagine they would have immediately shot and sent to the butcher.

Sardondi

Quote from: stevesh on August 09, 2013, 04:41:19 AMAustralia is home to an estimated one million feral camels.
What's this about "one million fecal camels"? I know that to a lot of you kids I'm just an old fuddy duddy, but I've been around some, let me tell you. I've heard about "millions of tiny fingers urging her to let go". I've seen a "reservoir tip". Our doctor even gave the mrs. and me a movie to watch where one of those vibrator things is used by a, uh, lady. So I'm hep to a little more of the swinging world than you kids might think. But I'll be darned if I know what "one million fecal camels" is supposed to feel like.

Surely I'm not along in thinking that things are pret-ty bad if the "fast" kids now engage in some kind of sexual game called "one million fecal camels". I simply can't imagine what it is, besides unutterably filthy. Look, I really don't mind if you kids sow your wild oats a little before settling down to marriage with your true love for 50 or 60 years. But a doing "one million fecal camels" just does not sound like the kind of fun which will keep this nation clean and safe. I hope you at least use Playtex gloves. And you'd better wash your hands afterwards, Buster, if you want to come into this house, yesirree Bob. "One million fecal camels", my Aunt Tilly.

stevesh


I'm off to start a ska band called One Million Fecal Camels.

Quote from: Sardondi on August 09, 2013, 10:44:47 AM
What's this about "one million fecal camels"? I know that to a lot of you kids I'm just an old fuddy duddy, but I've been around some, let me tell you. I've heard about "millions of tiny fingers urging her to let go". I've seen a "reservoir tip". Our doctor even gave the mrs. and me a movie to watch where one of those vibrator things is used by a, uh, lady. So I'm hep to a little more of the swinging world than you kids might think. But I'll be darned if I know what "one million fecal camels" is supposed to feel like.

Surely I'm not along in thinking that things are pret-ty bad if the "fast" kids now engage in some kind of sexual game called "one million fecal camels". I simply can't imagine what it is, besides unutterably filthy. Look, I really don't mind if you kids sow your wild oats a little before settling down to marriage with your true love for 50 or 60 years. But a doing "one million fecal camels" just does not sound like the kind of fun which will keep this nation clean and safe. I hope you at least use Playtex gloves. And you'd better wash your hands afterwards, Buster, if you want to come into this house, yesirree Bob. "One million fecal camels", my Aunt Tilly.


That movie you referenced; by any chance was it that disgusting "2 camels, one hump"? The one all the kids are talking these days?

Sardondi

Quote from: FightTheFuture on August 09, 2013, 12:13:33 PMThat movie you referenced; by any chance was it that disgusting "2 camels, one hump"? The one all the kids are talking these days?
Mister, I have no idea what you're talking about - none whatsoever. No sir, no way, nohow do we know anything about humping camels here, let me tell you. Or two girls and one anything.

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