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Random stupid things on your mind. Post them.

Started by timpate, September 20, 2010, 07:56:24 PM

Marc.Knight

Quote from: HorrorRetro on March 11, 2013, 08:43:58 PM
Well, she violated her marriage vows, something I never expected her to do.  I realize people make bad choices, but this is a big one, to say the least.  There might another complication to the story, but we're waiting on news she'll have tomorrow.  It's really thrown us for a loop here.  It's out of character for her and not something I ever expected to hear.  :-[


And, how is the husband dealing with this?

MV/Liberace!

Quote from: HorrorRetro on March 11, 2013, 08:43:58 PM
Well, she violated her marriage vows, something I never expected her to do.  I realize people make bad choices, but this is a big one, to say the least.  There might another complication to the story, but we're waiting on news she'll have tomorrow.  It's really thrown us for a loop here.  It's out of character for her and not something I ever expected to hear.  :-[


people have conditioned me never to be surprised.

Marc.Knight

Quote from: MV on March 11, 2013, 08:47:45 PM

people have conditioned me never to be surprised.




I got conditioned through experience.  When my first wife left me for her 17 year old 1st cousin I thought I was going to die for the first six months.  Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep.  Then I realized I was being a blathering idiot and moved on.

HorrorRetro

Quote from: Marc knight on March 11, 2013, 08:47:07 PM

And, how is the husband dealing with this?

Her husband seems to be dealing with it quite well.  He's wanting to work things out.  I want to convince her that's the right thing to do.  When you get married, you keep at it, minus any abuse, of course.  I've been there.  No marriage is perfect.  People made bad choices.  If both partners want to fix it, it can be done.  It'll never, ever be the same, but it can still be good.  It's just so hard to see someone who seemingly had all her shit together go completely off the rails for no good reason.

onan

Quote from: HorrorRetro on March 11, 2013, 08:43:58 PM
Well, she violated her marriage vows, something I never expected her to do.  I realize people make bad choices, but this is a big one, to say the least.  There might another complication to the story, but we're waiting on news she'll have tomorrow.  It's really thrown us for a loop here.  It's out of character for her and not something I ever expected to hear.  :-[


I am sure your world is shaken. I don't know you anywhere near enough to offer much support. What I will offer, you may already be well aware of and like all advice it may well be worthless to you. But as painful as this may be to you, this is your daughter's issue. The best thing you can be is supportive and listen. People stray in relationships often, but seldom is the cause simple. Although people's behavior sometimes hurts or offends us, it is important to remember that more often than not that hurt wasn't intentional. People often confuse that and think their hurt is of equal footing to the original behavior... Sorry to blather.


In short, listen to her. Be there for her and her family. And know that people often make bad decisions, support and caring can help to stem even more bad decisions.


I am sure there are family support agencies in your area... if you find no solace in the next day or so, contact one of them for help.

MV/Liberace!

Quote from: Marc knight on March 11, 2013, 08:52:12 PM



I got conditioned through experience.  When my first wife left me for her 17 year old 1st cousin I thought I was going to die for the first six months.  Couldn't eat, couldn't sleep.  Then I realized I was being a blathering idiot and moved on.


and i'm sure your current wife is a huuuuge upgrade from that creature.

Marc.Knight

Quote from: HorrorRetro on March 11, 2013, 08:59:02 PM
Her husband seems to be dealing with it quite well.  He's wanting to work things out.  I want to convince her that's the right thing to do.  When you get married, you keep at it, minus any abuse, of course.  I've been there.  No marriage is perfect.  People made bad choices.  If both partners want to fix it, it can be done.  It'll never, ever be the same, but it can still be good.  It's just so hard to see someone who seemingly had all her shit together go completely off the rails for no good reason.




They will both need counselling to get what is left on track, if they both actually want that.  Infidelity and the subsequent emotional-relational damage that it causes is very similar to the grieving process over a death.  The "death" being the damaged or ruined love relationship.  But, I think you know all of this.  She may not.

HorrorRetro

Quote from: onan on March 11, 2013, 09:03:31 PM

I am sure your world is shaken. I don't know you anywhere near enough to offer much support. What I will offer, you may already be well aware of and like all advice it may well be worthless to you. But as painful as this may be to you, this is your daughters issue. The best thing you can be is supportive and listen. People stray in relationships often, but seldom is the cause simple. Although people's behavior sometimes hurts or offends us, it is important to remember that more often than not that hurt wasn't intentional. People often confuse that and think their hurt is of equal footing to the original behavior... Sorry to blather.


In short, listen to her. Be there for her and her family. And know that people often make bad decisions, support and caring can help to stem even more bad decisions.


I am sure there are family support agencies in your area... if you find no solace in the next day or so, contact one of them for help.

Yeah, I tried to make sure I didn't make this all about me when I was on the phone with her.  I told her I'm not happy with what she's done, but we'll be here for both her and her husband, no matter what they decide to do.  I guess this is just all part of life.  You have to take the good, the bad, and the ugly and deal with it as best you know how.  I advised both of them to avoid making any big decisions right now.  They need time to figure things out before making any big changes.  I'm calming down a bit now and plan to come up with some sort of strategy to help her figure all this out.

HorrorRetro

Quote from: Marc knight on March 11, 2013, 09:06:16 PM



They will both need counselling to get what is left on track, if they both actually want that.  Infidelity and the subsequent emotional-relational damage that it causes is very similar to the grieving process over a death.  The "death" being the damaged or ruined love relationship.  But, I think you know all of this.  She may not.

I did advise counseling.  She might be open to it, but right now he's not.  Time will tell if they will decide to go or not. 

Marc.Knight

Quote from: MV on March 11, 2013, 09:04:57 PM

and i'm sure your current wife is a huuuuge upgrade from that creature.




Different planet altogether: absolute Angel; devoted Mother; loving Woman; and the sweetest, Innocent Heart.

HorrorRetro

And thanks, everyone, for listening and offering your thoughts and advice.  My husband and I are dumbstruck by this.  We don't want to discuss it with family until things are a bit more clear and we get the other news we're waiting on.  I'm sure you can guess what that is.  Needless to say, it's a very large complication to the story.

Marc.Knight

Quote from: HorrorRetro on March 11, 2013, 09:11:48 PM
And thanks, everyone, for listening and offering your thoughts and advice.  My husband and I are dumbstruck by this.  We don't want to discuss it with family until things are a bit more clear and we get the other news we're waiting on.  I'm sure you can guess what that is.  Needless to say, it's a very large complication to the story.


Anytime.

Eddie Coyle

Quote from: MV on March 11, 2013, 08:47:45 PM

people have conditioned me never to be surprised.
Sadly this quite true. I'm glad I learned it young.

Quote from: HorrorRetro on March 11, 2013, 09:11:48 PM
And thanks, everyone, for listening and offering your thoughts and advice.  My husband and I are dumbstruck by this.  We don't want to discuss it with family until things are a bit more clear and we get the other news we're waiting on.  I'm sure you can guess what that is.  Needless to say, it's a very large complication to the story.
Good luck in this and the possible "options" to the possible news are hardly comforting. Youthful indiscretion can indeed last a lifetime. 

stevesh

My Tandy 102 is thirty years old this summer, and I still use it regularly.


stevesh

Quote from: MV on March 12, 2013, 10:42:10 AM
For what?

Writing. I can take it places I don't want to carry a laptop and still have a real keyboard, then transfer files to my PC later.


MV/Liberace!

Quote from: stevesh on March 12, 2013, 10:50:08 AM

Writing. I can take it places I don't want to carry a laptop and still have a real keyboard, then transfer files to my PC later.


i'm guessing there's no form of error correction, right?  it's just like typing into notepad?

McPhallus

Quote from: stevesh on March 12, 2013, 10:50:08 AM

Writing. I can take it places I don't want to carry a laptop and still have a real keyboard, then transfer files to my PC later.

Don't they have like 24k of memory?

The General

Quote from: McPhallus on March 12, 2013, 02:11:48 PM
Don't they have like 24k of memory?
Yeah, what are you writing on there... limericks?


stevesh

Quote from: MV on March 12, 2013, 01:42:34 PM

i'm guessing there's no form of error correction, right?  it's just like typing into notepad?


Stock, yes, but I have an aftermarket ROM which includes a word processor (it's no Word, but it works). Memory is 32K, which is around 16 double-spaced pages.

http://club100.org/

stevesh

I think the interest of the secular press in the papal election (CBS Evening News is broadcasting this week from the Vatican) is a little strange. The other 6+ billion of us don't really care.

MV/Liberace!

Quote from: stevesh on March 12, 2013, 04:42:43 PM
I think the interest of the secular press in the papal election (CBS Evening News is broadcasting this week from the Vatican) is a little strange.


i agree.  i find their interest, and their assumption that the rest of us care, puzzling.

ItsOver

Quote from: stevesh on March 12, 2013, 04:42:43 PM
I think the interest of the secular press in the papal election (CBS Evening News is broadcasting this week from the Vatican) is a little strange. The other 6+ billion of us don't really care.


Same here.  What's that all about?  Are they just having slow news days?  Not enough named winter storms to fear monger?

Juan

There's group think in news and broadcasting in general.  If the competition is there, you had better be, according to the suits.  The public be damned.


McPhallus

Quote from: stevesh on March 12, 2013, 04:42:43 PM
I think the interest of the secular press in the papal election (CBS Evening News is broadcasting this week from the Vatican) is a little strange. The other 6+ billion of us don't really care.


But they *are* very powerful, influential, and wealthy still, old and stuffy as they may seem.

Quote from: stevesh on March 12, 2013, 04:42:43 PM
I think the interest of the secular press in the papal election (CBS Evening News is broadcasting this week from the Vatican) is a little strange. The other 6+ billion of us don't really care.




There`s roughly 77 million Catholics in the USA. That`s a pretty damn solid demographic for a news show that, on a good day, garners between 8 and 9 million viewers.


It`s big news, and a lot of people really do care.

Nucky Nolan

Quote from: Sardondi on March 09, 2013, 01:59:09 PM
God, do I hate cats. I wish I could throw every cat in the world in a woodchipper, and then Peter Stormare should be allowed to uselessly lounge around all day. Cats are vile, useless animals. Just like their owners.
Even my dog winced at that one. Now, Art will never post on here again. :'(

onan

Quote from: Nucky Nolan on March 20, 2013, 01:42:10 AM
Even my dog winced at that one. Now, Art will never post on here again. :'(
I think that comment was tongue in cheek and directed at one specific poster. But yeah without the history... sounds almost like norman bates talk.

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