I would like to troll Noory by inventing a guest and getting on-air

[Ghost to Ghost]

Some people here may remember when, a few years back, Mothers Against Video Game Violence launched -- not only did several newspapers and network TV news outlets get fooled into taking the site seriously, other notable retards including then-New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer referred to the site as a "resource" for parents to combat video game-inspired violence and addiction in kids.

Similarly, I would like to create a personality who specializes in UFOs, the paranormal, or even better the 2012 prophecy, with the intention of getting scheduled as a guest on a Noory-hosted edition of Coast to Coast. Like all good trolls, this personality would appear outwardly legitimate (at least as far as Coast to Coast guests can be) and, if successful, would progress from acting somewhat normal to complete and utter lunacy on the air.

What would be needed to pull this off:

- A legitimate-looking web site
- Fake book or DVD to be "sold" through the website
- A forum on the site populated by posters who appear to be taking the personality seriously
- A fake list of media mentions and appearances
- A confederate who would act as the personality's scheduler and public relations contact
- A handful of clips from previous "appearances" on radio shows, podcasts, etc

I'm pretty handy with audio engineering and I know basic HTML. In addition, I can do a few accents convincingly -- maybe a cut-glass British accent to lend the personality an additional air of legitimacy, maybe a Russian accent to explain away why most previous "appearances" were in unpronouncable radio shows and podcasts from places like Estonia and Muldova, etc.

This would present all sorts of opportunities for lulz: "George, when we are judged through the lens of history, you will be seen as one of the few visionaries with the sense to take this impending cataclysm seriously."

Noory: "Now, during the time of the Mayans, the Romans were pretty strong back then too, weren't they?"

Guest: "Yes, George, I have to say, your grasp of history is as firm as a Ph.D. That's exactly correct."

Noory: "And how does this tie in with Roswell and the etching of John Candy's face on Mars?"

Guest: "I'm glad you asked that, George. Few interviewers are as astute as you are in connecting the various elements at play here. In 1986, John Candy was abducted by future Mayans from an alternate history and taken back to the Year 1374, where he assisted the Mayan prophets. Upon his return trip to our timeline, his ship crashed in the area we now know as Roswell, and it is that crash that set off the string of events leading to the secret activities at Area 51, which in turn released quantum ion particles into the air, particles that will be activated in 2012 when the world will end in a torrent of fire and Taco Bell hot sauce."

Noory: "Fascinating. Now Nazi Germany was pretty strong back then too, weren't they?"

Guest: "That's right, George, excellent observation. Few people know it, but the Nazis were actually founded as an order circa 1396, when the ancestors of Adolf Hitler and Manute Bol performed secret ceremonies with the Mayan prophets. It was during those secret meetings that the Antikythera Mechanism was invented."

Noory: "Fascinating!"


lol. Anyway, before I get too carried away here, I would like to ask if anyone on CoastGab is interested in helping to pull this off. Make no mistake, it's immature and ridiculous, but it has the potential to be extremely fucking hilarious. And I believe pulling it off will be a lot easier than it looks -- if the Wand Guy and people who see aliens under their beds can get guest spots on C2C, then our invented UFO/Ghost/2012 expert should have no problem getting scheduled.

Let me know if you're interested and if you have any particular skills we can put to use to make this look legit. 

[Tom from Hong Kong]

Given the level of diligence that Noory and his band of clowns conduct on their prospective guests, you'll have no problem getting past any screens they do have.  The issue which may present itself is that they appear to have certain individuals who are their designated 'go to' people on certain topics (e.g., Dannion Brinkley on NDEs, Trickie Dick Hoaxland on space, Catherine Austin Fitts on the economy), so breaking into that inner circle may prove difficult.

I am happy to post fake messages on the forum board on your faux website.  Don't have any other relevant skills beyond that.

[Marc.Knight]

- A legitimate-looking web site
- Fake book or DVD to be "sold" through the website
- A forum on the site populated by posters who appear to be taking the personality seriously
- A fake list of media mentions and appearances
- A confederate who would act as the personality's scheduler and public relations contact
- A handful of clips from previous "appearances" on radio shows, podcasts, etc

Hehehe.  Most quack C2C Noory guests already have this stuff.

[heater]

Is there a line starting somewhere to join on this mission?  I'll help make a website and source material if needed, and I can host the site too.  I always loved the Half-Life call into Art years ago.

[Ghost to Ghost]

Is there a line starting somewhere to join on this mission?  I'll help make a website and source material if needed, and I can host the site too.  I always loved the Half-Life call into Art years ago.

Heh. I guess we'll just see who's interested, figure out what resources we have, then draw up a plan to troll our buddy George.

I'm gonna start brainstorming ideas for our invented guest's name and maybe whip up a fake DVD and book cover in Photoshop some time over the weekend. Also, I have Adobe Audition, a condenser mic and a pretty good recording/mixing set-up with which to craft some fake "clips."

Your website skills will be a huge help since my HTML skills haven't improved much since the days of crappy Geocities fan pages.

Also, I don't necessarily have to be the "guest" personality, if anyone has an acting/comedy background or is particularly adept at keeping a straight face/voice, I'd be more than happy to set it up or play the role of the personality's PR contact for Noory's producers. But if no one wants to go that far I don't mind being the guest either...I just want to make this as hilarious as possible.

What nationality do you guys think our fake guest should be? And should that person be an expert on an existing C2C topic, or should we invent a new one? Tom's got a good point about the "go to" guests on specific topics.

[MV/Liberace!]

i think the most appropriate way forward here is to get the infrastructure in place (website, forum, etc.) and then ask people to select how they'd like to contribute to the mission from that point.  that way, people will know their work and/or contributions are actually going to be used for something and they will be more likely to participate.  i have many relevant skills i could contribute to this endeavor... it's just that i want to make sure this thing really has legs before investing any time in it.

[MV/Liberace!]

furthermore... the selected domain name and the name of this fictitious character shouldn't be mentioned publicly here.  i KNOW the people at premrad are watching.

[Ghost to Ghost]

Good points all around, I didn't realize the C2C people would check in here regularly but along with that, we don't want the Google cache indexing what we come up with.

themudking (or anyone else with hosting capabilities) is it possible to set up a simple, password-restricted forum where we can discuss this and start laying the foundations? If we can get that going, then we should delete this thread when we move discussions off-site.

[heater]

MV you are totally right.  Ghost I will PM you to move the ball forward.

[MV/Liberace!]

MV you are totally right.  Ghost I will PM you to move the ball forward.

anybody else having registration problems on the private forum?

[Tom from Hong Kong]

Nationality? I suspect Noory & his clown troop would be especially excited about someone from a European background (French, ala' Jacques Vallee?).

Finding a new topic that they will bite on may be difficult, despite the fact that they have their 'go to' people on existing topics.  I suggest a new slant on an existing topic, such as 'prehistoric evidence of UFOs,' or 'the physics of near death experiences.'  Sounds good but adds up to a load of hogwash.

[RecoveringNoorholic]

Yay! I suggest Dr. Jerry Merdicant (but he'll ask people to call him "Dr. Jerry"). Dr. Merdicant was a skeptical, scientifically grounded optometrist who - while on holiday in Nepal - was introduced to a Hindu mystic who taught him the principles of an ancient, hidden art known as karmic divining in which the accumulated karma of a person can be measured. Now Dr. Merdicant is spreading that knowledge in the west. After a brief session he can tell a subject if their accumulated karma is better, equal or worse than that which they entered the world with and whether or not they will reincarnate to a higher, equal or lower.

Dr. Merdicant will divine George's karma on-air and, of course, come to the conclusion that George is destined to reincarnate as a highly enlightened being. He will then offer readings to callers live, on-air. One caller will give a very dark reading indicating he may reincarnate as an insect. Dr. Merdicant will say he's never read something like this - is the caller a murderer? The caller will dramatically admit that he is calling from jail where he's waiting trial for homicide. Then the line will go dark.

GEORGE: "Dr. Jerry, this reminds me of - did you ever see the Twilight Zone episode in which ..."

[Ghost to Ghost]

Hey guys.

I got the info from mudking, thanks very much man. I will register tonight.

In the meantime my job has been kicking my ass but I have some stuff for this project that hopefully you guys'll find pretty funny and credible to contribute towards our "personality."

Also, since I usually pass out every night listening to the CoastGab stream or my own stash of Art Bell shows, I've been paying special attention to the guests and their credentials. Perfect example -- "Dr. Morgan Spence" who was the first guest to speak about "shadow people." This women is not listed in any academic directory, she doesn't come up in a Google search, there's no reference to her in the Lexis Nexis database, and she claimed on the show that she received her degree from "The International Research Academy," a non-existent school. Likewise with "Dr." Anderson, who Noorholic did some great research on -- he calls himself a doctor, Noory calls him a doctor, but he has no degree.

So essentially, we can give our personality any title we want, and if we call him or her "doctor" that's not going to be challenged by anyone at Coast to Coast.

Also, I've got a pair of condenser mics, a couple pre-amps, a nice soundcard and a home studio set-up with Adobe Audition. I am not a professional audio guy by any means, but I can get a really nice sound out of those mics and software, and it's pretty easy to filter the audio to make it sounds as though a guest is calling in by phone, for clip purposes.

Anyhow I don't want to get into details too much here, I'll post more later.

Cheers,

G2G

[Ghost to Ghost]

Hey mudking, check your PMs dude

No rush, as I know we all get busy with day-to-day stuff, but whenever you get a chance to approve registrations, I have some good ideas to share with you fellas.

[KnyeGuy]

This idea is awesome. For the love of god, please pm me when you get through the screening and let me know when you are going to appear.

[MV/Liberace!]

This idea is awesome. For the love of god, please pm me when you get through the screening and let me know when you are going to appear.

we need to get more people involved in this idea if it's going to take off.  i think it's lost steam.

[puddintame]

Maybe I could practice up on sounding breathy and sultry and call in and flatter Georgie 'till his toes curled and take his attention away from the "guest"?   Help me on this....especially to get my call past the screener....

Or maybe not.  I'm willing, but I'm new at this. What other way could I contribute?

[MV/Liberace!]

Maybe I could practice up on sounding breathy and sultry and call in and flatter Georgie 'till his toes curled and take his attention away from the "guest"?   Help me on this....especially to get my call past the screener....

Or maybe not.  I'm willing, but I'm new at this. What other way could I contribute?

what we're really looking to do is to develop a phony guest to appear on the show rather than just make a quick drive-by call.

[KnyeGuy]

what we're really looking to do is to develop a phony guest to appear on the show rather than just make a quick drive-by call.

I might be mistaken, but I think Puddintame is volunteering to call in when this invented guest makes it on the air.
I've never called C2C, so I really have no idea what the odds are of getting through, but it would be kinda cool to get some 'planted' calls on the show with the fake guest.

[puddintame]

I might be mistaken, but I think Puddintame is volunteering to call in when this invented guest makes it on the air.
I've never called C2C, so I really have no idea what the odds are of getting through, but it would be kinda cool to get some 'planted' calls on the show with the fake guest.

Yup, that was my intention, just call in and help befuddle the boory.  However, IMO this plan should take a great deal more Nonpublicised planning before any implementation is even considered.

[MV/Liberace!]

Yup, that was my intention, just call in and help befuddle the boory.  However, IMO this plan should take a great deal more Nonpublicised planning before any implementation is even considered.

themudking did set up a secret forum on another domain.

[TeddyKGB]

I know Noory was trolled by a caller basically selling him story of video game Half Life as a real life story.


Gordon Freeman calls Coast to Coast AM

[lnrrgb]

 I heard that broadcast live, but my level of focus was on other things, so it went right past me. I remember following along the guys story, until something tipped me that he was exaggerating somehow. I doubt I would have made the connection anyway.