The New Hot Wonton Guilty Pleasure Thread

[albrecht]

Receiving a shipment via USPS that is covered in non-canceled FOREVER stamps....

The pleasure comes in the delicate cutting and then separating from the applied to surface via five minute hot water soaking, then drying, then REUSING those little son of a bitches by attaching to new shipments with some bull glue. (in this case, Halloween greeting card shipments ... said cards given the full Camazotz Automat augmentation. Hallmark should be so lucky to have my talent at their disposal.)

Now that stamps are forty-nine cents, the post office should not be surprised at the motivation to hack the non-canceled.

(Who am I lying to here?  I'll do this with any non-canceled stamp denomination, be it one-cent or be it a FOREVER. I've been doing it for years. It's not about the money. It's about the POWER.)

[attachimg=1]

Not that I ever would do that. Or do another obvious scheme I recall reading about in "Steal This Book" many years ago. Putting your address in the "to" area and your intended recipient in the "return address" area (you might want to put a hint of glue in the stamp area if very paranoid.) Chances are, since I don't think postmen collect "postage due" anymore, your letter will be "returned" to your intended recipient. Worst case it gets delivered to you and they ask for the cost of the stamp.

[Robert Ghostwolf's Ghost]

Not that I ever would do that. Or do another obvious scheme I recall reading about in "Steal This Book" many years ago. Putting your address in the "to" area and your intended recipient in the "return address" area (you might want to put a hint of glue in the stamp area if very paranoid.) Chances are, since I don't think postmen collect "postage due" anymore, your letter will be "returned" to your intended recipient. Worst case it gets delivered to you and they ask for the cost of the stamp.

Steal This Book had some truly inventive and diabolical pranks.  I wonder if anybody ever pulled the one that involves renting a safe deposit box under a fake name and then putting a fish in it. 

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

This is kind of a long story; hope it's appropriate for the thread.

I was flying back to the Bay Area from a trip to New Orleans.  My seat was in the front part of the plane, and I was maybe about the 20th person to get aboard.

I opened up the overhead, and it was full of carry-on bags.  Completely full.  There was nobody seated in my row yet.

I surveyed the area, looking first at the guy across the aisle.  "Excuse me..." I started to say, but he interrupted me to tell me that the bags were not his.  I found that response rather curious, but went on to ask the other few passengers within reasonable proximity, all of whom disclaimed ownership.

Based on the first passenger's reaction, I concluded that some clutch of selfish douchebags stuffed their bags there, and then beat it to the back of the plane.  I COULD have called a stewardess, but she would only direct me to place my bag (bag, as in singular) forward or aft, thus kicking the can down the road for some other unlucky bastard, with the miscreants themselves getting off scot-free.

So I decided to indulge myself, and I pulled all of the bags out of the overhead and dumped them on the row of seats behind me.  Then I stowed my bag and jammed my face into a magazine.

Eventually, the owners of those seats showed up, and started asking around to see if those bags belonged to anyone.  The dude across the aisle -- bless his pea-pickin' heart -- did not give me away. 

A stewardess was summoned.  An announcement came over the loudspeaker inquiring if anyone had "stored" some bags up in the front section of the aircraft.  When she used the word "stored," I just about wet myself, because I had surmised (correctly as it turned out) what would happen next.

Nobody came forward to claim the bags, figuring, perhaps, that they would simply be left in the overhead where they were -- or rather, had been -- "stored."  So they took them off of the plane, and since they could not establish ownership, carried them off to security.

When we landed, I didn't waste any time getting off of the plane, and didn't look back.  I tried to feel guilty about the scene that I imagined was taking place on the plane behind me, but mostly I felt pleasure.

[Camazotz Automat]

I can dance to that, I've been practicing!

mf

I've been waiting for an excuse to post the bull glue Saga art again.  I hope to carve out some time in the near future and actually create an original bull head glue label and stop borrowing the Elmer's glue logo/bull when I wish to mention "bull glue." Heh.

Interesting trivia, or at least interesting to me : The bull likeness logo was a fictional cartoon mate to the real life Borden's Elsie the Cow.

Apparently, Elmer's only somewhat recently spun off from the holders of the Borden brand in 1999, so these bovine logos are now unfortunately divorced.  Let's hope he's not a dead beat bull and is paying the college tuition for Beauregard, Larabee, and Lobelia.

Anyone curious about my Saga reference or Mr. Fidget's dance comment would find answers here:

http://bellgab.com/index.php/topic,1643.720.html

[albrecht]

This is kind of a long story; hope it's appropriate for the thread.
When we landed, I didn't waste any time getting off of the plane, and didn't look back.  I tried to feel guilty about the scene that I imagined was taking place on the plane behind me, but mostly I felt pleasure.

Idk about appropriate, but I liked it. You are just lucky. In this day and age of "threats" you are lucky you didn't screw yourself over and the airline, or some Orwellian "see something, say something" tattle-tale tell on you, and they call DHS, or a HAZMAT team, and put the flight on delay or even lockdown due to misidentified, suspicious bags!!

[Camazotz Automat]

The dude across the aisle -- bless his pea-pickin' heart -- did not give me away. 

Idk about appropriate, but I liked it. You are just lucky. In this day and age of "threats" you are lucky you didn't screw yourself over and the airline, or some Orwellian "see something, say something" tattle-tale tell on you, and they call DHS, or a HAZMAT team, and put the flight on delay or even lockdown due to misidentified, suspicious bags!!

Indeed. Bless the discretion of the dude across the aisle.

Digi may have unwittingly saved a plane from being blown to smithereens. You never know.

[Gd5150]

This is kind of a long story; hope it's appropriate for the thread.

I was flying back to the Bay Area from a trip to New Orleans.  My seat was in the front part of the plane, and I was maybe about the 20th person to get aboard.

I opened up the overhead, and it was full of carry-on bags.  Completely full.  There was nobody seated in my row yet.

I surveyed the area, looking first at the guy across the aisle.  "Excuse me..." I started to say, but he interrupted me to tell me that the bags were not his.  I found that response rather curious, but went on to ask the other few passengers within reasonable proximity, all of whom disclaimed ownership.

Based on the first passenger's reaction, I concluded that some clutch of selfish douchebags stuffed their bags there, and then beat it to the back of the plane.  I COULD have called a stewardess, but she would only direct me to place my bag (bag, as in singular) forward or aft, thus kicking the can down the road for some other unlucky bastard, with the miscreants themselves getting off scot-free.

So I decided to indulge myself, and I pulled all of the bags out of the overhead and dumped them on the row of seats behind me.  Then I stowed my bag and jammed my face into a magazine.

Eventually, the owners of those seats showed up, and started asking around to see if those bags belonged to anyone.  The dude across the aisle -- bless his pea-pickin' heart -- did not give me away. 

A stewardess was summoned.  An announcement came over the loudspeaker inquiring if anyone had "stored" some bags up in the front section of the aircraft.  When she used the word "stored," I just about wet myself, because I had surmised (correctly as it turned out) what would happen next.

Nobody came forward to claim the bags, figuring, perhaps, that they would simply be left in the overhead where they were -- or rather, had been -- "stored."  So they took them off of the plane, and since they could not establish ownership, carried them off to security.

When we landed, I didn't waste any time getting off of the plane, and didn't look back.  I tried to feel guilty about the scene that I imagined was taking place on the plane behind me, but mostly I felt pleasure.

Haha that's a great story! Surprised they didn't evacuate the plane.

[Gd5150]

Today I bougt a song on itunes called "I am the best" by 2NE1. I shazammed it from a Microsoft commercial.

[WildCard]

Isn't it a trip that you can't see your head?!

A sane person wouldn't be as amused by that as I am.

http://www.headless.org/on-having-no-head.htm

[paladin1991]

This is kind of a long story; hope it's appropriate for the thread.

*snip*

Love that story. 

[WildCard]

In today's "New Hot Wonton Guilty Pleasure" -
The Guy From Pittsburgh ( tm ) Talks About Bellgab Troll & LIAR Digital Pig Snuggler !

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5EvH84r3NM

"Internet trolls, stalkers & liars abound.

One of the worst is Bellgab's Digital Pig Snuggler who makes up lies about me going to buffets, eating bacon burgers and more on and off of Bellgab. Another is Bart Ell who edits my videos without my permission and someone who created a channel showing my videos which are also edited in violation of You Tube rules.

If YOU want to know what I eat, ask me not some anonymous troll who doesn't have to courage to confront me directly and openly !

Free Art Bell !"

Falkie details his dietary habits. He has to tell you every single detail to illustrate - NO BACON!
7 Minutes in - He has a Cornish hen in the fridge, noodles in a pan, a-lot of spaghetti sauce, blah, "George Foreman Grill", blah, blippity, boo, "Art Bell".

Hey Falkie,
I never read any of those "lies" until you quoted them. A publicist would tell you not to do that.
And you're right, it's nobody's business. Nobody cares except for DPS.
I would be interested in your response to eddie dean.
Edit: In text. I know you love the limelight but it doesn't love you back.

[paladin1991]

So is it true that Falkie goes to buffets and gets banned for doing his impression of a Hoover vacuum cleaner as he trolls the steam tables?  And if he is shoveling bacon down his gullet, is it because deep in some Freudian abyss, that may or may not contain his darkest desires, he really wants to hork down some of the DPS's pork?
*shrug*  I dunno.   

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

In today's "New Hot Wonton Guilty Pleasure" -
The Guy From Pittsburgh ( tm ) Talks About Bellgab Troll & LIAR Digital Pig Snuggler !

He scours Bellgab for the mention of his name, then creates a rebuttal video where he talks about himself in TMI detail.

The narcissism is strong with this one.

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

So is it true that Falkie goes to buffets and gets banned for doing his impression of a Hoover vacuum cleaner as he trolls the steam tables?  And if he is shoveling bacon down his gullet, is it because deep in some Freudian abyss, that may or may not contain his darkest desires, he really wants to hork down some of the DPS's pork?
*shrug*  I dunno.

I know that he and his porcine girlfriend closed down two Chinese buffets in Fremont.  Pacific Buffet was one, the other was in Irvington somewhere.  I think he mentioned either closing or being banned from one closer to where he lives.

I recall an unintentionally funny post he made where he complained that every time he and his GF found a buffet they liked, the place closed down.  He couldn't understand why.

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

In today's "New Hot Wonton Guilty Pleasure" -
The Guy From Pittsburgh ( tm ) Talks About Bellgab Troll & LIAR Digital Pig Snuggler !

Hey, here's one where he complains about YOU and how you describe his diet!  He "has NEWS for you, Mr. Wildcard!" then he talks about his junk food consumption in detail.

Other things about himself discussed over 45 minutes:

* Naps he has taken
* His forum is more popular than Bellgab which no one pays attention to anymore
* He's all over the web and very famous and people can't stop talking about him
* He has a 62 inch waist
* He hasn't had time to do his dishes or laundry
* Wow, a LOT of complaining about Aldous Burbank not buying him lunch.  (Advice to Aldous: go to a buffet or bring a lot of money with you)
* MV is a troll and a jerk

That's in the first ten or eleven minutes.  The video is 45+ minutes long.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMx7H3LiXlg

I noticed his glasses are broken again. 

[eddie dean]

Classic John Pinette ------ Original Chinese buff…:
http://youtu.be/vAkXPpBnSkM

[eddie dean]

snip....

I would be interested in your response to eddie dean.

What comment are you referring to? On the show or on bellgab?

[WildCard]

What comment are you referring to? On the show or on bellgab?

Bellgab - http://bellgab.com/index.php/topic,6235.msg272799.html#msg272799

This coming from a person who runs a forum that is nothing BUT arbitrary and capricious.  Banning people for nothing more than creating an account with a scary name. "Meandynasty" for example. Criticizing by calling others dictators, while you rule your own forum with a zero tolerance banning policy if someone simply types the word 'Bellgab or MV'. 
"All Are Welcome," 
"Why not Join?" 
"Don't even try Troll!!"
Can you perhaps see the contradictions?

I wouldn't expect you to understand the HUGE amount of  hypocrisy and complete lack of self awareness this suggests.

Of course this is 100% your right as a forum owner, congrats!
Welcome back, post at a leisurely interval.

[DigitalPigSnuggler]

I would be interested in your response to eddie dean.

Good luck with that.  He's posted on his own forum about how Aldous owes him a free lunch.  He's made videos about it.  He has a banner right at the top of his forum braying about it.  He brought it up on his last call to the Gabcast.  All he has to do is send Aldous a PM, but he won't do that, because he's a fuckin coward and doesn't want to deal with the truth.  Respond to eddie's post?  Pulleeze.

[eddie dean]

I forgot about that post.
I don't expect, nor do I encourage a response. There is really nothing to defend either.
Like this jewel I stumbled on when looking through the archive threads:
http://bellgab.com/index.php/topic,2326.msg201624.html#new

Does anyone know where this picture came from originally ? I used it in my YT video and You Tube is trying to deny my post monetization because they're acting as if the picture is not available for use, even though its clearly parody in nature.

Didn't he throw a hissy fit about  Bart using his pictures as a parody? why yes. yes he did.
but it's okay for TGFP to do it. Sure.

damn you Wildcard! {fake outrage} You have succeeded in dragging me back into this drama. You bastard!

[WildCard]

Like when a succubus seemingly coalesces in your hotel room after a show and offers to "cup your balls?"

Been there, banished that. It required an adroit application of flash paper while vocalizing ___  _______ _____ from "A Book Of Spirits" (Heptangle edition) during a lucid dream state.

Banish it?! How do you evoke it?

Speaking of succubi and old hags, tonight's New Hot Wonton Guilty Pleasure is Blanche Barton.

“Satanism means ‘the opposition’ and epitomizes all symbols of nonconformity. Satanism calls forth the strong ability to turn a liability into an advantage, to turn alienation into exclusivity. In other words, the reason it’s called Satanism is because it’s fun, it’s accurate and it’s productive.”
― Blanche Barton, The Secret Life of a Satanist: The Authorized Biography of Anton Szandor LaVey