• Welcome to BellGab.com Archive.
 

Celebrity Deaths

Started by noodlehead.crucified.c2c, June 25, 2009, 05:28:29 PM



ItsOver

Quote from: Walks_At_Night on January 16, 2021, 10:21:46 AM
I for one am glad the pigeon wasn't executed.
Whew!  That was close.  I hope it enjoys it’s time in the Outback quarantine camp.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/australia-considers-new-covid-19-quarantine-strategy-outback-isolation-11610704005

Enjoy the Bloomin' Onion, little dude!



Jackstar

Quote from: ItsOver on January 16, 2021, 11:52:06 AM
new-covid-19-quarantine-strategy

> COVID-19
> it's 2021


You people understand it is your job to go out there and point this out to all of your friends, right? I would do it for you, but I'm thoroughly enjoying Diogenes Mode, which was released in the latest build. Fortunately I met the skill tree requirements right out of the gate: brilliant, disciplined, with a cave, with books, with a sour, bitter attitude that only waking up in a puddle of mud and reflexively slinging mud at the nearest noble person every morning for 12 and a half years can instill into one's character.

I imagine there are probably a few elites in a few transmission-proof bunkers still untouched by SARS-CoV2. Remember that one? It's kinda gross, I hear. And it's everywhere, we're just all immune to it by now. Or, no, wait, bat soup, right? What is the current narrative?

Do any of you even remember? Yeah, I didn't think so, and if you did remember, you'd probably not want to tell anyone here. I'll tell you what, I remember when that started, and I remember getting all kinds of activation signals, all but the last of which kept getting cancelled out. Now, what was that? Oh, right--"activation signals", that's crazy talk, sure, but "bat soup"... plausible.

Anyway, I'm kinda just teasing on this one--I'm not allowed to talk about this here--but the narrative shift from "COVID 19"... which you heard about in 2020, right? 20, 19, 20, you get it? And now it is... you know, this reminds me of when Azzerae had to renumber his entire scheme of podcasts, because one of them became an Unpodcast. And he was sly about it too, he was like, "I fucked up so the numbers are off by one." And I saw that and I'm all, "oh, thanks for letting me know that something so egregious was removed that everyone was going to notice. Kudos."

I think I pointed it out at the time, honestly, I forget though. Once he had enough audio to program a vocoder with sufficient fidelity, the dude vanished out the in door. I wonder what his worry was? Oh, right, he had to do show prep for something saucy. Oh, no, wait, that was another time.

Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention: someone is getting (PROTECTED) again. I'm pretty sure it is not going to be like last time. It already isn't!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zilmYuinQm0


For example... collaboration is possible. There's only so many celebrities left, best make the most of our available opportunities. I mean, why not? We're not worried about defaming anyone, are we?







Quote from: albrecht on January 22, 2021, 12:09:58 PM
Hank Aaron, dead at 86. RIP.

https://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/30759123/long-home-run-king-hank-aaron-dies-86

Too bad. As good as a right handed hitter as has ever lived. He looked pretty chipper the other day when he got the Covid vaccine.

https://twitter.com/HenryLouisAaron/status/1346598799993667588

Dr. MD MD

Quote from: Walks_At_Night on January 22, 2021, 01:56:33 PM
Too bad. As good as a right handed hitter as has ever lived. He looked pretty chipper the other day when he got the Covid vaccine.

https://twitter.com/HenryLouisAaron/status/1346598799993667588

Seems like maybe the vaccine killed him.

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on January 22, 2021, 02:00:59 PM
Seems like maybe the vaccine killed him.

You're the medical man Doc. I don't know. Old men die but...he did look pretty damn good there for someone in his mid 80's.


Dr. MD MD

Quote from: Walks_At_Night on January 22, 2021, 02:08:23 PM
You're the medical man Doc. I don't know. Old men die but...he did look pretty damn good there for someone in his mid 80's.



I’m not saying that definitively, of course. Like you say, he was old but the timing is odd, no?

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on January 22, 2021, 02:10:56 PM
I’m not saying that definitively, of course. Like you say, he was old but the timing is odd, no?

Indeed it is my good man. Indeed it is.

Gd5150

Quote from: Walks_At_Night on January 22, 2021, 02:08:23 PM
You're the medical man Doc. I don't know. Old men die but...he did look pretty damn good there for someone in his mid 80's.



Itsahomerunornothingonhomerunderby.

Quote from: Gd5150 on January 22, 2021, 02:18:18 PM
Itsahomerunornothingonhomerunderby.

I think it was from this old TV Show - Home Run Derby:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtErnwvxaaU

albrecht

Quote from: Walks_At_Night on January 22, 2021, 01:56:33 PM
Too bad. As good as a right handed hitter as has ever lived. He looked pretty chipper the other day when he got the Covid vaccine.
uld b
https://twitter.com/HenryLouisAaron/status/1346598799993667588
Mr.Norway says that this is no coincidence. That Home Run Derby show and talk was interesting and fun, though I like defense better. But even a homerun only show turns into lots of talk because baseball slow, until it isn't for a quick period. Which is not a knock I like the banter and opportunity for history, color, story telling, etc. And it would seem to be a game that is most egalitarian but still where talent wins and tough to make it. 


That billboard for KPOL is now KMPC and is Korean-based radio. It originally had polka music and then easy listening and Larry King. Then went Country. Then Mexican. Then Sports. And now Korean.


Quote from: Rix Gins on January 23, 2021, 07:29:21 AM
Larry King gone at the age of 87.
https://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/tv/larry-king-television-radio-journalism-royalty-dies-87-n1050771

Heart attacks, heart surgeries, cancer, stroke, coma, 7 wives. I figured the dude was indestructible.

Jackstar

Quote from: Walks_At_Night on January 23, 2021, 08:40:15 AM
Heart attacks, heart surgeries, cancer, stroke, coma, 7 wives. I figured the dude was indestructible.

HOLY FUCK
JOB OPENING
I HAVE TO CALL... HRRM.

I'LL HAVE TO THINK THIS ONE OVER.
I STILL HAVE DIBS ON FIRST IN LINE
YOU ALL SAW IT
CUT IN LINE AHEAD OF ME, I CUT YOU APART FROM TOENAILS TO ELBOWS--ALONG THE SCENIC ROUTE.

DON'T THINK I CAN'T DO IT. I CAN'T MAKE THE PHONE RING--REASONS--BUT CUTTING AND KANLY ARE VERY CLOSELY RELATED FIELDS OF DIVINE LAW, AND DIVINE LAW IS IN FACT MY AREA.

Oh yeah sorry all caps. Hey can we get our forum here, that I love, to be able to change our text color? What's "a while?" I think I'm also going to need some purple letters. Just cuz

Nyewalker

Quote from: Rix Gins on January 23, 2021, 07:29:21 AM
Larry King gone at the age of 87.


Anderson Cooper is currently in grieving

Larry King was one of the founding fathers of Atlanta based CNN


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgByRL2gYH8

Jackstar

Quote from: Rix Gins on January 23, 2021, 07:29:21 AM
Larry King gone at the age of 87.

My mother, the lich, reports in: "He thought he was going to be a lich, too. Instead, he is my plaything. Apparently he thought he didn't have to ask anybody's permission and didn't bother to find out what a phylactery was for, or why it's vitally important to keep its location hidden from absolutely everyone, including other lich."

I'm not going to lie, in my imagination, she didn't sound anything like that, and at the end, she punctuated with some truly awful sounding shrieking--not really sure if it was her or her new "plaything" or both. It would seem Mom wasn't real big fan of Mr King, not just cuz he never figured out that he was supposed to interview me, but apparently he used to call his other new wife by the term of endearment "plaything" as well. Like all of them, he just kept on telling him they were the first.

Eewww, gross, Mom. Don't do that to him. God, I hope this is fake. Mom is really enjoying this lich gig a lot more than I thought she would--and I'm going to remind you all, I never thought my mother was going to be a lich I thought she was going to be a "poltergeist." And I thought it was a joke. and I figured that since she couldn't talk back to me at that point, there was no reason not to tell her what a phylactery was for. Now, I'm here to tell you, I'm not so sure.

I might have bigger problems in 295 years. Oh well, YOLO! REST IN PEACE IN YOUR PLAYPEN, MR. "KING." AND, REALLY? WELL THAT'S INTERESTING, I'M ALSO THE SON OF A WIDOW. HOW IS THAT RELEVANT TO MY ESTRUS RIGHT NOW? SORRY, I MEAN "INTERESTS." I'M A LICH, AND NO LONGER HAVE AN ESTRUS, AND YOU ARE MY PLAYTHING, AND YOU WILL NEVER EVER EVER, NEVER GET AN ERECTION EVER AGAIN.

OH, GOD: THERE'S THAt cackling again. I'm serious Kids you're lucky I can't translate that into words, I really would look insane, besides I know she's just playing anyway. This is my mother I'm talking about, and she's dead, so obviously now, in my imagination... it's a pretty scary laugh, right?

She's telling me that she copied it from Hillary one time at band camp. And I don't mind telling you all, whether it's real or imaginary, my dead mother has a much better sense of humor than she did before. Much more nuance. Most of the jokes I ever hear from My Mother, The Lich are so horrifying that I could never even think about saying them out loud were anyone who could report me to the press might catch me laughing.

Kind of wondering why my insanity is so cleverly denied by my conscious reality that I somehow managed to be a lot funnier when I'm pretending to be someone else... I'll have to investigate that idea later, since I'm pretty sure it's bullshiy anyway: if Hillary could be one why not my mother? I mean, I loved her but her sister didn't have a soul, so maybe mine didn't either. Maybe souls are overrated. Let's let my mother the lick ask her new play thing about that in the interview that goes on and on and on and a pocket dimension populated by lizard snake rat chimeras. What a fun way to spend a Saturday, especially for My Mother, The Lich, who quite clearly has some axes to grind, which surprises me not one little bit at all.



So is that a bomb obituary, or what? I hope none of his 82 wives are offended at all, or are going to ask grapefruit any pointed queries, because I might be all right with texting herpes and I might be willing to go for New Hampshire leprosy in a pinch, but there ain't no way I'm going to risk getting a case of Larry King's King Crabs.

Like, first thing I do when I get that job: new chair, and set fire to the old chair, along with the room that it sat in. The entire floor. From orbit. On Mars. I'm not going to risk another enhanced bio-weapon attack, what does bugs did to Grapefruit was truly ridiculous, whether she deserved it or not, and I don't want to go through it again, although if that certainly would give her something to distract her from her current circumstance, that's for sure.

Fingers crossed. (All typos not corrected on the fly have been left to stay there as they may, out of respect for the dead, or at least a modicum thereof. I am not a deliberately cruel man, and if any one of his 82 wives and three children miss him, I hope for their sake that he's not actually being dangled over a (CENSORED) while my mother makes pasta out of his hairpiece. Jesus Mom, really, are you nuts? Oh, right, she's a lich. I guess she would be nuts, by now, huh? That's basically why I didn't want to ever do that for myself--I'm actually the sanest man on the whole g-ddamn planet, confirmed, and one of these days you graceless fuckos are all going to know that for certain and never, ever forget.)


Hey, what do you all think, is there any chance I'd be good at writing Hallmark cards? Because obviously I can never write another obituary again, now that I've written Larry's, you should see the NCA/NDA My Mother, The Undead Lawyer (someone's favorite old job) made me sign, just so I can refer to him as "plaything."

Do we still call it a "roast" when somebody is dead? That's me asking, not my mother. trust me she's pretty distracted by what she's doing, she doesn't check out what I write very often. But of course she's a fan. That could be just safely assumed, no matter what.

Some one in the audience asked why didn't make a career as a writer when she was alive, and Mom says "yeah I wondered that too, but I figured there must be some good reason, and there clearly was. And if I told you I'd have to kill you. HEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Yeah, that's the cackle. I'm not gonna lie, if this wasn't my mother I'd be terrified, that such a thing could possibly exist, let alone how chatty she is sometimes. But only sometimes. I guess she's too busy talking to her playthings, no time for chatting with your only son, huh, Mom? Huh? You're busy?

Then she says--"well not as busy as some People, Dear... Oh, Dear... OH MY...." All right f*** this, I got to end the conduit. The shrieking really is kind of creeping me out.

Godspeed, Larry. By the way, Jesus just told me to tell you that he just dropped his phone. Cracked the screen. That's too bad. On the bright side, at least I don't have COVID! BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, THE POWER OF GOD CAN'T FIX A CRACKED SMART SCREEN AND IT CAN'T DEAL WITH A VIRUS THAT CAME FROM A VAT OF BAD SOUP RIGHT? RIGHT.

I handle some strange messages, Kids, no lie, but these take the cake. Even Art is in awe, maybe it's just that Larry King somehow managed to dodge getting hit by a sniper's bullet, as far as we are allowed to know, that is.

END OF RESPECT FROM PEERS IN THIS INDUSTRY LINE. Oh, come on, Man. What, too soon? Well wasn't too soon for My Mother, The Lich, sooooo...

Jackstar

Quote from: Nyewalker on January 23, 2021, 09:54:36 AM
Anderson Cooper is currently in grieving

Apparently being a lich was his Plan A, like ever since he was 10 or so, and I guess--well it seems like he's reconsidering after considering the potential pitfalls. You think after what happened to his brother he'd be well aware of pitfalls, but... Well, whatever. See this is why I didn't want to do this shit. Everyone dead thinks they're a great comedian, suddenly they all know all these jokes, and with any need for a physical diaphragm completely obviated by being, you know, dead, they all think they can all just go on and on and on without taking a breath. Yeah, well, I earned that skill, Deaders: piss off.

albrecht

Quote from: Rix Gins on January 23, 2021, 07:29:21 AM
Larry King gone at the age of 87.
https://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/tv/larry-king-television-radio-journalism-royalty-dies-87-n1050771
The black weekend hosts of CBS Evening News just played a segment. It is frightening how the last pictures of Larry King made him look like RGB during her last public pictures. Tribe aside one would've thought sex would make a different look but...wow.  Unless there is some conspiracy at work here, it will be chalked up due to bloodlines, age, and bad lighting. But still weird.



albrecht

Not expected to live. Claim is a simple robbery but he had a lot of SF, Hollywood, and Clinton connections and possibly secrets of the Stars, politicians, and businessmen. But considering SF the story of a simple robbery gone bad is believable.

https://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Famous-private-eye-Jack-Palladino-gravely-injured-15910909.php

Never heard of her but some apparently famous tranny died, "accidentally,' when she climbed some cliff to watch the full moon at 4 A.M. and suddenly fell. Sad.

https://pitchfork.com/news/sophie-has-died/


Jackstar

Quote from: albrecht on January 31, 2021, 02:32:05 PM
Not expected to live. [...] private-eye-Jack-Palladino-grave [...] some apparently famous tranny [...] climbed some cliff [...] Sad.

More job openings on this one than might otherwise be expected. Dibs on the tranny.

Jackstar

Quote from: Jackstar on January 23, 2021, 10:37:57 AM
See this is why I didn't want to do this shit. [...] Yeah, well, I earned that skill, Deaders: piss off.

Maintain radio silence. That means you two screeching & screwing back in the black. Yes, both of you, she's piercing.

See this is why I didn't want to do this shit. Shrieking. 5:5

Powered by SMFPacks Menu Editor Mod