Fake Noose

Started by pate, September 19, 2022, 11:36:15 PM

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In the interest of providing a secure location for the gathering, conglomeration, and indexing of highly trusted news sources for MAPA campaign purposes, general amusement, and edification;  I have decided, after much thought and research:  to establish here that place and/or thread.

I am well aware, as I am of many things, of the two similarly titled threads in the "Politics" section of BellGab/chan.  They may be found here & here respectively.

I have decided to create this one, the "Official MAPA News Service" here in the "Random" section of this site for two primary reasons and several tertiary reasons.

    1.     The "Random" section of this message board is more in line with MAPA ideals than the "Politics" section
    2.     One of the primary goals of the MAPA initiative is to do away with both Politics and Hypocrisy
    3&c. One of the great many tertiary ideals on the quite lengthy, voluminous, and expansive MAPA List dealing with that subject is, of course, Fun

Below this initial post, I shall share a few stories that tickled me, for reasons.

Below this sentence I will list several trusted news sites;  although it may seem to be:  this List is far from exhaustive, unabridged, or complete.

I, my shirtless running-mate, and the rest of the MAPA team welcome reader submissions from any news source that we feel might be a Trusted MAPA News Source™, you can Take That To The Bank, (less my standard 25% cut)!

Thank you in Advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2024
"WHO shat in the interregnum?" & "WHO farted in the elevator?"


The following article from the Burrard Street Journal highlights not only the more important current economic state of the United States, it also reflects the economic state  our soon to be newest 51st State:

Quote from: https://www.burrardstreetjournal.comVancouver Woman Banned From Local Café For "Only" Tipping 20%

KITSILANO, VA—A 38-year-old mother of two has been banned from her local café after the cafe's owner took to social media to complain about the woman's "disgraceful" 20% tip.

"These workers have to live, you know? Have you no decency?" the café owner wrote in a series of Facebook posts. "My staff earn an absolute pittance and it's because of people like you..."

It is unclear if this economically challenged "café" is a coffee shop-type that serves only pastries, or a more full service "café" that might carry the more proper appelation "bistro", Nautical Shore.



This interesting article from The Weekly World News deals with some of the happenings with our Proud Union Bretheren:

Quote from: https://weeklyworldnews.comTrain Robbers Back Railroad Strikers, Refuse to Cross Picket Line!

Omaha – The nation's largest union for train robbers announced that they would not cross the picket lines in support of railroad workers currently on strike against the nation's largest freight carriers.

"They say there is no honor among thieves, and that there are no lines we will not cross, but that is not true," said United Steal Workers president Jedidiah McFarland, "We honor and do not cross picket lines!"

Members of the train robbers' union raised their own pickets, as well as a little bit of hell, to show support for their rail worker brethren.

"We may come from different sides of the track, but we share a common cause," said Idaho gang leader Marcus Sparks, "We just want to get rightfully or wrongly ours from the fat cats who are the real thieves, stealing the labor of the working class!.."

The MAPA KamPain does not officially endorse, nor accept the endorsement of any specific Union.  I plan on making a statement in my Official Capacity on this subject Really Soon Now.  That being said, I appreciate both the Railroad Unions and the Train Robbers Union.

pate/K_Dubb 2024
"WHO shat in the interregnum?"


As a proud military veteran of both the United States Armed Forces, and the Six-Star General and CinC of the PFDRp, I always like to see what is happening in the military world.  I find that the Duffel Blog has it's finger on the pulse of the military.

Quote from: https://www.duffelblog.comMake-A-Wish kid gets 'Day 1 recycled' at Ranger school

EGLIN AIR FORCE BASE, Fla. — Billy Gunderson, a six-year-old Make-A-Wish Foundation participant, was just days away from graduating from the Army's Ranger school when the cadre informed the youngster he was a "day-one recycle," meaning that he would have to re-start the 61-day leadership school from the beginning.

"Rules are rules," said Staff Sgt. Jesse Garner, a Ranger Instructor. "Students can only eat when we say they can and that little maggot was stuffing his face without permission. I don't care if it's a chocolate pound cake or the fucking handful of pills I caught him choking down after the final patrol."

"Besides, he's never going to grow up to be a man if he can't overcome a little adversity," Garner added...

I am considering putting SSG Garner in charge of the soon-be-formed Very Special Forces 'Tard (I BDE), I like the cut of Garner's jib.



The following story is from the The Betoota Advocate (they're 'Stralian, btw), a recent discovery of mine:

Quote from: https://www.betootaadvocate.com"Okay. You Can Give It A Fucking Rest Now" Nation Tells ABC Suck-Ups

In case you have spent the last week fixing fences in the back of the Simpson desert, you might not be aware that Queen Elizabeth II is no longer alive.

However, with the occasional snippet of ABC National radio in the work ute, there is very little chance that even the most isolated and remote Australians would have missed the biggest story the Australian media has ever spent a week regurgitating.

After seven days of non-stop coverage, speculation and live-crosses with experts – the brazen Anglophilic news coverage has only confirmed the catastrophic identity crisis currently rippling through the 90-year-old public broadcaster...

Honestly, I had no idea that the American Broadcasting Corporation aired in Australia!  Apparently, they only get the ABC radio and not the telly-vision broadcast.  I too am not a big fan of ABC radio.  This story alone confirms that the The Betoota Advocate is a trusted News Service in line with the MAPA ideals.


/self-reported:  vainglorious SPAM-ing of user-created thread

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