VAXXED!!!! Who will it be?

Started by paladin1991, December 17, 2020, 09:36:46 PM

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

K_Dubb

Quote from: Roswells, Art on February 16, 2021, 11:32:25 PM
You cut out the part where he abuses the wage slave before he leaves.

Haha I bet she was like



(Hi Roz)

Dr. MD MD

Quote from: K_Dubb on February 16, 2021, 11:37:55 PM
Hey I had some dates last summer!  When they let us mingle households, I went to it with a will.

How many second dates? It’s OK, you don’t have to answer.

Roswells, Art

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on February 16, 2021, 11:33:53 PM
Oh, hey, look! It’s another happy, loving fascist. Happy now that you’re waging war in the middle east again?

I am? Man, I was feeling like I wasn't accomplishing much today at noon. So how does that work? Do I have to sit on my ass all day on Bellgab arguing with some dude in Washington State and occasionally buy a coffee down the street to combat this atrocity? Or can I just comment on their penis? I prefer the latter if it were up to me.

Dr. MD MD

Quote from: Roswells, Art on February 16, 2021, 11:40:49 PM
I am? Man, I was feeling like I wasn't accomplishing much today at noon. So how does that work? Do I have to sit on my ass all day on Bellgab arguing with some dude in Washington and occasionally buy a coffee down the street to combat this atrocity? Or can I just comment on their penis? I prefer the latter if it were up to me.

You didn’t vote for Biden?

K_Dubb

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on February 16, 2021, 11:39:56 PM
How many second dates? It’s OK, you don’t have to answer.

Only two  :( but one was to the ocean.

K_Dubb

Quote from: Roswells, Art on February 16, 2021, 11:40:49 PM
Or can I just comment on their penis? I prefer the latter if it were up to me.

What is this "their" business my pronouns are he/him you are microaggressing me again!

Dr. MD MD

Quote from: K_Dubb on February 16, 2021, 11:44:41 PM
Only two  :( but one was to the ocean.

Pretty meager pickins. I’m just saying that maybe you’d be more attractive to other gay men if you weren’t such an amoral piece of shit as a human being. Clearly, this isn’t working for your social life.

Jackstar

Don't be submissive. Just go back to sleep. I'll most likely put your signed and backdated pardon(s) in a time capsule and bury it in an unmarked grave under the biggest tree in the nearest Pet Sematery to where she was found murdered.

Or, shoot speed up my ass and wind up in the local psych ward--whichever comes first? Who's with me? Ai yi yi yi ay! (Jackstar runs out into the night, barefoot, wearing only a toga with crudely drawn misshapen sigils scribbled at various places in the fabric... because the LAST thing that stalker-type creep-0 wants to do is to be mistaken for Jesus. Not in this day and age. Now, that would be lunacy.) (Fuck you, S. (PROTECTED). Fuck you, all night long.)


You people--sure, I'll use Grapefruit's own words--scumbags (oh, boy, feel that sting) know what you did. That is entirely between you, your Maker, and Feline Murder Court. (Imagine that bench. Imagine the smell.) I don't judge. I ain't even sad, mad, or glad, yo! It's too late to go pick up Grapefruit, I missed the last faerie portal. (It's cool, I have to wait for the DMT to wear off anyway. Have you ever tried to have sex on DMT? Yeah, me neither--sounds like the worst fucking idea ever. And (PROT) already tried to set me up on a controlled buy sting for a supposedly "it totally works!" alleged "DMT-loaded vaporizer pen," but I might have been born again, and I might have been born again yesterday, but I sure as shit know that there is no fucking way they have a DMT pen that does it right. And if One cannot do it rite... One better not do it AT ALL. That's the rule for coke, that's the rule for pepsi, and that's the rule everything, except Royal Crown Cola.) So, I have to sit here alone, alone with my vast quantities of totally illegal drugs--bwhahahhah, yah, right.

massive rolleyes
Yep, you guessed it: Eye of Newt. Surprisingly common component, of course.

I guess I'll have to forgo reconciliation with my lover, it's simply not going to possible without F2F non-digital communication, not as long as SHE HAS THE FUCKING NIGHTMARE RECTANGLE SHE HAD ON HER WHILE SHE WAS BEING (CENSORED). WOW, GREAT. WHAT COULD GO WRONG? YEAH, I'LL JUST CARRY THIS AROUND, AND THEN WHENEVER I WANT TO BLAME SOMETHING, I'LL JUST fnord JACKSTAR! HE DID IT! MY TYLER TOLD ME SO! That must have been some fuckin' awesome Kool-Aid that bitch fed to Grapefruit, alright. What goes into a "reverse love potion," anyway, 40w motor oil? I'm pretty sure I saw a can of that sitting in that which's kitchen. Obviously she would have trouble getting any semen, and she certainly wouldn't get it from Me. Although I might have some of my mom's (CENSORED) still lying around.

Which does taste pretty good. But not as good as GF's Jewel. (Are you all done pissing on Lee's corpse yet? Dude, trademark that. Thanks, Sugar!) Is it wet yet? Come on, Lady, open up. Oh, I'm sorry, Little Pigs--I must have the wrong address. Catch you later!

K_Dubb

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on February 16, 2021, 11:47:33 PM
Pretty meager pickins. I’m just saying that maybe you’d be more attractive to other gay men if you weren’t such an amoral piece of shit as a human being. Clearly, this isn’t working for your social life.

You don't think the cookies help a little?

Dr. MD MD

Quote from: K_Dubb on February 16, 2021, 11:57:03 PM
You don't think the cookies help a little?

A bit I guess. You could probably get a boyfriend who cheated on you a lot.

Roswells, Art

Quote from: K_Dubb on February 16, 2021, 11:47:29 PM
What is this "their" business my pronouns are he/him you are microaggressing me again!

Everything has to be about you, doesn't it?! Actually, I was referring to pretty much every response MD has to everyone, which has to do with their penis.

This, for example:

Quote from: akwilly on February 15, 2021, 02:17:48 AM
I was bangning an Eskimo

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on February 15, 2021, 02:45:22 AM
Hey, mang, you gotta do what you gotta do to keep your willy from freezing off up there. ;)

akwilly hasn't posted here for years but the first thing dickdr focuses in on is his penis. No wonder he has no mind for politics, he is too busy thinking about your private parts.

Dr. MD MD

Quote from: Roswells, Art on February 17, 2021, 12:04:44 AM
Everything has to be about you, doesn't it?! Actually, I was referring to pretty much every response MD has to everyone, which has to do with their penis.

This for example:

akwilly hasn't posted here for years but the first thing dickdr focuses in on is his penis. No wonder he has no mind for politics, he is too busy thinking about your private parts.

Your penis is the worst. I bet it still doesn’t know how to grill a steak properly.

Jackstar

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on February 16, 2021, 11:47:33 PM
Clearly, this isn’t working for your social life.

It was the accordion that caused me to suggest to Grapefruit that we meet with him someplace. Obviously, alliances prevented that at the time, and trust Me, know Me, believe Me: she never breathed a word of the truth to me. I caught her trying to wiggle her eyebrows a few times, but... that was it. Nothing else. Scout's Honor--alright, alright, you caught me, I'm gonna throw her under the bus: she totally tried to signal me. And then when she figured out that I didn't know ANY of those signs (I must have been absent that day in Level Zero Nasal Coils sKool, sorry--and I didn't even try to figure it out, just like you didn't try to find a fucking source of running water... it did not have to be an actual river, sigh, well, she's a nature spirit at heart, can't blame her), she got MEGA pissed.

I bet she had to quit weed for a whole 3 weeks one summer to be able to have any hope of remembering all those little wiggles and tics. Sorry Sweety, you know what the eyebrows do to me. /shrug You're just mad because you didn't even know that Level Zero was a real thing until it was far, far too late. For You. Bummer. Here, have some whiskey, you'll feel better.


Quote from: Roswells, Art on February 16, 2021, 11:40:49 PM
So how does that work? Do I have to sit on my ass all day on Bellgab arguing with some dude in Washington State and occasionally buy a coffee down the street to combat this atrocity? Or can I just comment on their penis? I prefer the latter if it were up to me.

As do I. Here's the eyebrow check list:

Number one: wiggle your eye-brows to make sure you've dialed in the right phenotype. This step matters.
Number two: make sure Grapefruit isn't around. Two Grapefruits in one location will not confuse your target--it'll just launch Me into Study Mode ("OMFG! TWO GRAPEFRUITS! I have to study this phenomenon immediately! To the pillows! We must talk!" Yeah, you won't be getting laid for hours, because I won't just make myself vulnerable to a possible tulpa invasion until I'm certain--and no one would enjoy the pillow talk in this situation, I would imagine, though I'm sure that I would be the last to get bored--or, board stiff.) so if you can get in for "a quickie," and want to risk it, that might work. One could also, you know, imprison or murder Grapefruit, but obviously I can't endorse that at all, that would be a conflict of interest for the ghost ninja.)

And then, finally, number three: just molest me while taking off my clothes. I'm a nymphomaniac. That's it. That's all.

No, really. Twist my arm. It gets tired really easy.

K_Dubb

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on February 17, 2021, 12:03:36 AM
A bit I guess. You could probably get a boyfriend who cheated on you a lot.

That would be ok, it's not that big a deal for us.

Dr. MD MD

Quote from: K_Dubb on February 17, 2021, 12:17:57 AM
That would be ok, it's not that big a deal for us.

Really? All gay men are non-monogamous?

K_Dubb

Quote from: Roswells, Art on February 17, 2021, 12:04:44 AM
Everything has to be about you, doesn't it?! Actually, I was referring to pretty much every response MD has to everyone, which has to do with their penis.

This, for example:

akwilly hasn't posted here for years but the first thing dickdr focuses in on is his penis. No wonder he has no mind for politics, he is too busy thinking about your private parts.

Oh ok sorry I am very sensitive about being misgendered!

(also I am teasing, glad to see you, I think about you sometimes)



Roswells, Art

Quote from: K_Dubb on February 17, 2021, 12:21:04 AM
Oh ok sorry I am very sensitive about being misgendered!

(also I am teasing, glad to see you, I think about you sometimes)

I know you are, I was too. I read here sometimes, by the way, you have the patience of a saint (like one of the good ones, if there is one).

Dr. MD MD

Quote from: Roswells, Art on February 17, 2021, 12:26:07 AM
I know you are, I was too. I read here sometimes, by the way, you have the patience of a saint (like one of the good ones, if there is one).

The exact opposite actually. Evil smells its own.

K_Dubb

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on February 17, 2021, 12:19:59 AM
Really? All gay men are non-monogamous?

Some are like married couples, some are just like friends who happen to bonk.  And everything in between.

Dr. MD MD

Quote from: K_Dubb on February 17, 2021, 12:29:50 AM
Some are like married couples, some are just like friends who happen to bonk.  And everything in between.

But even the married couples are non-monogamous?

Roswells, Art

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on February 17, 2021, 12:27:50 AM
The exact opposite actually. Evil smells its own.

Really? You think Jesus would talk shit to a wage slave before going out the in door to his handicap parking spot?

K_Dubb

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on February 17, 2021, 12:27:50 AM
The exact opposite actually. Evil smells its own.

It smells like cookies!

K_Dubb

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on February 17, 2021, 12:31:07 AM
But even the married couples are non-monogamous?

Some are.  I am friends with two married couples, one is and one is not.

K_Dubb

Quote from: Roswells, Art on February 17, 2021, 12:26:07 AM
I know you are, I was too. I read here sometimes, by the way, you have the patience of a saint (like one of the good ones, if there is one).

Oh bless you I am just having fun


Dr. MD MD

Quote from: Roswells, Art on February 17, 2021, 12:33:14 AM
Really? You think Jesus would talk shit to a wage slave before going out the in door to his handicap parking spot?

Absolutely! He has to wake you heathens up somehow.

ksm32

Quote from: Tootsie on February 17, 2021, 12:43:09 AM
:-\


Good. Had enough.

if not

There are several other far less messy ways to go about it.  Annnnd according to the dipsy chick who read my tarot in 99 I still have a second wife to devour before dying alone in self assigned solitude.  Alas, I am far too happy with my current participant to just suddenly decide to occupy a different, separate, squeezebox just to fit the Bill Charles timeline.

Jackstar

Quote from: K_Dubb on February 17, 2021, 12:21:04 AM
Quote from: K_Dubb on February 17, 2021, 12:41:46 AM
Oh bless you I am just having fun

Oh ok sorry I am very sensitive about being misgendered!

(also I am teasing, glad to see you, I think about you sometimes)

well, isn't that eXtra-special-Ok. I guess now that Irving has blocked all of our numbers--I'm using the word "all" here--I guess I can start thinking about that person again without running the risk of triggering an interrogation cycle. "Who's Irving? ANSWER ME, HUNG-A-NIGGER!" Wow, that was fast--they could not have killed her already, could they? She's probably just in a k-hole. Or maybe one of those little cute expandable foam girdles they put on those Japanese peaches. It would be unlikely that I would get contact that quickly from an actual death. There are waiting periods. They are secret. You know me. Simper fu. Yeah, well: 3m ta3. I think at least 7 hours, I don't know precisely, as I've never had the love of my life kidnapped, raped, and murdered before. (It's the little things in life that count.) Still, the night is still young--11:11 was 6 minutes ago, and I'm sure she doesn't give a fuuuuuck. I know this, because the Chalice is gone. One of her Family's Kids is probably drinking beer out of it. I shall surely never see that thing again, and definitely never be its Holder ever--but it sure did serve its purpose, didn't it! Hah! RU TUF!!

I kind of think of it--all that concern I had--about spelling. Who takes a s***? Certainly not a bartender. It's 23:23. I picked the wrong moment of time to be completely out of alcohol.

By the way I heard this is a great place to reveal my secret magick word. I heard that certain people were using it wrong. I have just been informed that I'm allowed to tell it to you here, because obviously we're all getting new ones.

Here you go, enjoy:
Bartholomew 'Quagga" Barnstormer

It looks good on a passport, I'm not going to lie: but good luck screaming it out at the point of climax. Not like luck is going to be the problem there. GO TEAM.

I just got one from MV--yeah, he says he's fine; he'll be back, fine (ouch); he's all fine there; how's Canada? I told him "I sent Julie to take out Jewel for dancing lessons," and I found out what hot coffee sprayed onto a server rack cluster sounds like through telepathy. Turns out, just like I'd imagine it would have.

So, what I got was "Chao-Li." He says he likes it. Yeah, well, he said he liked me, too, so--fuck that guy.

Powered by SMFPacks Menu Editor Mod