Who Killed David Rubini?

[Jackstar]

Stay frosty, Troopers, maintain discipline, and start putting those beers on ice, because Somebody's coming Home.

You know, it amazes me, after all those years translating the Voynich Manuscript, that Stellar never figured out that he could take a crack at any of these occluded tales and get pretty close to the mark just by asking a few simple questions. I guess it would be hard for a guy who can't find the question mark on the keyboard... but still, if he gave it a shot and stopped pretending like he was better than everybody just because he's on drugs 24/7, who knows how far he could have gotten? I guess co-hosting the GabCast that one time was the extent of his desire for a taste of glory.

Remember the Alamo. COUNTDOWN PAUSED.

Oh, I forgot this was still paused. Well, that suits me down to the ground--I don't see any good reason to break a perfectly good stasis bubble, do you?

I mean, you're not going anywhere, right? Perfy. Now you can stay on that COVID story forever--I think it's really got some legs.

And in those days shall men seek death, and shall not find it; and shall desire to die, and death shall flee from them.

"Clout chasing." You know, when somebody accuses one of something that one has never even heard of... that's a sign of a pretty strong projection. I'm just sayin'. Wow.

[Jackstar]

Oh, I forgot this was still paused. Well, that suits me down to the ground--I don't see any good reason to break a perfectly good stasis bubble, do you?

"Clout chasing."

POINTS ON THE BOARD.
J*


I'm told that the technology that exists to heal Congenital Clout Clitoris Fungal Overbloom is being "held up in embargo." (It's the dose, not the poison.) Which is some epic tier Next Level whore's dick bullshit, if you ask me. Fortunately, with Our Key, you unlock this Knowledge. (You did get a Key, right?) So for those of you lucky few in that glorious timeline, here's your sign. +. That's all I got, so I'm certain the rest of you know what to do. Rawr. Can I get a roar? Oh, that's cute (CENSORED). (They wanted me to put down "(Redacted) instead of (CLASSIFIED)" and I told them to fuck right off. A little respect, people.)

I'm not real sure how many levels up I am--it's Turtle Networks all the way down from here, Stardarlings--but the view straight-up is incredible. Is there a 555th "degree" yet? Have the scholars get to work on the calligraphy immediately.

You're gonna need a bigger degree.