Who Killed David Rubini?

[Jackstar]

#WAR_IS_PEACE
#RUBINI_IS_MAGIC
#LEGACY_IS_CONTESTED


https://youtu.be/LqprqOPGZTk



Film at ELEVEN.

[Silphion]

"When after all, it was you and me ... "

What happens when you pull that last loose thread before the lights go out?

[Jackstar]

What happens when you pull that last loose thread before the lights go out?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XIKOY7ZASlU

[Tootsie]

[Tootsie]

[Jackstar]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ed9VXoTqj1U

[Tootsie]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5k9LWkUJdaE

Hey, Jack, do you ever leave Bellgab?

[Jackstar]

Hey, Jack, do you ever leave Bellgab?

Do you ever bother to use the Quote button correctly?

[Tootsie]

Do you ever bother to use the Quote button correctly?

no  i don't bother

[Jackstar]

Sad! You know... just five minutes alone with me, 7 I could teach you how to post a lot better.

[Jackstar]

You're already here.

#STAYBLACK
#STAYHARD
#STAYHUNGRY

[pate]

...class.

Eye thank tits en saison?


https://youtu.be/zAWe8oBIRtY


https://youtu.be/yRhaWvavjy8


https://youtu.be/SbyAZQ45uww

Nautical...

[Jackstar]

Eye thank tits

[Jackstar]

I could teach you how to post a lot better.

Wait! Come back! All your posts are going to keep getting worse!

[Jackstar]

I am not going to lie: If one is in a hurry and one is hungry and/or famished, cooking a frozen steak is not really worth it for the improvement in taste alone... but if one can afford to be patient... it's one of the best meals around.

Still--best served COLD.

[K_Dubb]

[Jackstar]

It's getting colder all the time, folks. WINTER IS COMING.

[Jackstar]

It's getting colder all the time, folks. WINTER IS COMING.

*pokes corpse with stick* Yep, I did it, alright.


Note that I wasn't even trying to kill him. I also wasn't trying to save him. Nor, did I have to try to resurrect him. You know, a person can learn a lot from time to time by having even the most rudimentary resurrection and/or reading comprehension skills.

I didn't and still don't care, so all that "babbling" about "enemies" just sailed right on past. And, Grapefruit--she has an actual life, which I've just put her back on. I would expect to see here shitposting with me a little less, so here I am, catching up the slack, filling in the blanks, and dipping into the wayback vault of thoughts I've had locked in my head for 3 decades... and, no where else.

It's rather like corked champagne, to be frank. I never really cared before--I figured, I'd know when the time was ready--but after the first 10 years, I was all... "am I even still doing this? What the hell is that going to be like after so much time has passed! I'm probably just crazy."

Yeah, well, like a fuckin' fox. And certainly not like Failkie, so I got that going for me, you dig? VIRGIN.


I'd seriously rather be at a rave. Don't you think a stream-of-consciousness writer with mad chess skillz belongs in the warehouse district with thugs and minors? Yeah, well, probably not, but let's face it, them thugs ain't gonna be living much longer if this SARS-CoV2 turns out to be a real threat, like all the fear propaganda says it will.

Basically what I am saying here is, everytime I think about how this site lurched on through the darkness with mostly Failkie talk to propel it, I realize that the bar for excellence in coattail publishing is set very, very low.

[Jackstar]

#Next_Level_Conflict
#RUBINIMAGIC
#RUBINIMAGICK
#ingTheLegacyIsSecure
#IHaveToDoEverythingAroundHere


Cheer up, the lich bears went after the wendigos, so I have time for this now. Nevertheless--I'm embarrassed for some of you. This is low-brow hijinx, even for Ba'alGig.

[Jackstar]

This is low-brow hijinx, even for Ba'alGig.

“It appeared that there had even been demonstrations to thank Big Brother for raising the low-brow ration to twenty grams a week. And only yesterday […] it had been announced that the ration was to be reduced to twenty grams a week. Was it possible that they could swallow that, after only twenty-four hours? Yes, they swallowed it. [...] The eyeless creature at the other table swallowed it fanatically, passionately, with a furious desire to track down, denounce, and vaporize anyone who should suggest that last week the ration had been thirty grams. Syme, too-in some more double complex way, involving doublethink-Syme, swallowed it. Was he, then, alone in the possession of a memory?”

― Orwell George, 1984

[Jackstar]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SA7AIQw-7Ms


Him & I
G-Eazy & Halsey

Cross my heart, hope to die
To my lover, I'd never lie
He said "be true", I swear I'll try
In the end, it's him and I
He's out his head, I'm out my mind
We got that love, the crazy kind
I am his and he is mine
In the end, it's him and I, him and I

My '65 speeding up the PCH, a hell of a ride
They don't wanna see us make it, they just wanna divide
2017 Bonnie and Clyde
Wouldn't see the point of living on if one of us died, yeah
Got that kind of style everybody try to rip off
YSL dress under when she takes the mink off
Silk on her body, pull it down and watch it slip off
Ever catch me cheating, she would try to cut my (ha-ha-ha)
Crazy, but I love her, I could never run from her
Hit it, no rubber, never would no one touch her
Swear we drive each other mad, she be so stubborn
But, what the fuck is love with no pain, no suffer
Intense, this shit, it gets dense
She knows when I'm out of it like she could just sense
If I had a million dollars or was down to ten cents
She'd be down for whatever, never gotta convince (you know?)
Cross my heart, hope to die
To my lover, I'd never lie (I love you, baby)
He said "be true", I swear I'll try
In the end, it's him and I
He's out his head, I'm out my mind
We got that love, the crazy kind
I am his and he is mine
In the end, it's him and I
Him and I
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh
In the end, it's him and I
Him and I
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh
In the end, it's him and I
We turn up, mobbin' 'til the end of time
Only one who gets me, I'm a crazy fuckin' Gemini
Remember this for when I die
Everybody dressed in all black, suits and a tie
My funeral will be lit if I
Ever go down or get caught, or they identify
My bitch was the most solid, nothing to solidify
She would never cheat, you'd never see her with a different guy
Ever tell you different, then it's a lie
See, that's my down bitch, see, that's my soldier
She keeps that thang-thang if anyone goes there
Calm and collected, she keeps her composure
And she gon' ride for me until this thing over
We do drugs together (together), fuck up clubs together (together)
And we'd both go crazy (crazy) if we was to sever
You know? We keep mobbin', it's just me and my bitch
Fuck the world, we just gon' keep getting rich, you know?
Cross my heart, hope to die
To my lover, I'd never lie
He said "be true", I swear I'll try
In the end, it's him and I
He's out his head, I'm out my mind
We got that love, the crazy kind
I am his and he is mine
In the end, it's him and I
Him and I
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh
In the end, it's him and I
Him and I
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh
In the end, it's him and I
Cross my heart, hope to die
To you, I've never lied
For you, I'd take a life
It's him and I, and I swear (ayyylmao)
'Til the end I'ma ride wit' you
Mob and get money, get high wit' you, yeah (ayyylmao)
Cross my heart, hope to die
This is our ride or die
You can confide in me
There is no hiding, I swear
Stay solid, never lie to you
Swear, most likely I'ma die wit' you, yeah
Cross my heart, hope to die
To my lover, I'd never lie
He said "be true", I swear I'll try
In the end, it's him and I
He's out his head, I'm out my mind
We got that love, the crazy kind
I am his and he is mine
In the end, it's him and I
Him and I
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh
In the end, it's him and I
Him and I
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh
Woah-oh-oh-oh-oh
In the end, it's him and I

[Ciardelo]

Of course.

Can't just let the dead man rest easy after a life well-lived.

Fuckers 

[Jackstar]

Can't just let the dead man rest easy after a life well-lived.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eugene_Mallove#:~:text=Mallove%20was%20murdered%20in%202004,guilty%20to%20obstruction%20of%20justice.

suppressed through an organized campaign of ridicule

Wow. I wonder what that's like. Sounds like a real bummer.

[Jackstar]

#WAR_IS_PEACE
#RUBINI_IS_MAGICK
#LEGACY_IS_CONTESTED

There. I fixed that for me--I fixed it for us all.

You wouldn't believe the s*** show that started as a result of me starting this thread. And I was all... okay, number one... What's the big deal? Are you going to go over and yell at stellar when he makes another one of his f****** threads too? And, number two... Who the f*** is this guy who thinks he could talk to me like that and get away with it? well I guess we're about to find out mother f***** cuz it's f****** on."

And now here we are. And boy am I glad I did it. This is the most fun I've ever had, and you tricked the girl who cheated on me (and thought she had gotten away with it clean, lol, no, not really, not at all) to remove herself from the state!

I told you. I told you. I told you you should listen to me before you left. I even told you you shouldn't have gone--I knew you were a lying w**** when I met you honey, I don't hold that against you, and I know he's super cute, so... Boy, that guilt must be eating you up these days. That's too bad.

So. Who killed David Rubini? Well I don't know if he's dead at all, but if you suddenly find him keeled over in the corner, with an odor of citrus hanging in the air, I think somebody might have a lead--because that guy fucked her whole world right up, and... I did everything I could to stop it.

Mostly. I guess I could have told the policing authorities. But why stop you then? You were frontin' like you loved me and you had a secret plan. And it looks like you did.

[Jackstar]

you tricked the girl who cheated on me [...] to remove herself from the state!

This makes it Feds, right? This makes it RICO, right? Cool.

I'm just some idiot--I don't understand how these things work, no, not really, not at all--but this really reminds me of when Art Bell came out of nowhere, hollering about Michael Savage and calling a lawyer and pursuing litigation and... What the f*** was that all about anyway? I never bothered to ask Rubini--he probably didn't know anything either, I assumed--and I haven't asked Art either, it's generally when I turn around and start asking him questions, he vanishes.

State fright, I guess. Anyway, I had no idea this kind of thing could happen, lo, those many moons ago, back when I thought I had a real person and two real cats in my life, but right about the time, a person using a computer to make him sound like David Rubini (this is called a vocoder, Kids) started calling me up out of nowhere, in a sinister voice, telling me that he had stalked and deliberately murdered my pet feline... it was at that point that I figured I was on to something.

Later, it was told to me that this was "a joke." Which, arguably would be worse than somebody admitting to committing such a crime... especially when that same joke was repeated three or four times, until somebody was clearly satisfied that they weren't going to get a rise out of me that way.

Grapefruit, your cat is fine. She is wondering why she's not being fed, while there's tons of food and dirty laundry lying around, but, she trusts me. So it's all good.

What is David feeding you? Pomegranate seeds, I'd wager.

massive rolleyes

[Jackstar]

"DAVID RUBINI, THE NOW MV ASSASINATED FORMER BELLGABBER (PERMANENTLY BANNED FOR THE LAST TIME - ISP BLOCK ) IS
OFFICIALLY DEAD TO BELLGAB.

IT IS OVER FOLKS.

MV KILLED RUBNI"

Thank God and MV 

So... how about that signing bonus? I left very clear instructions.

[Jackstar]

So... how about that signing bonus? I left very clear instructions.

Finally: something I can speak to. I know some of you have heard some whining about this thread being created in the past, but don't worry about it. It's December. Everything changes in December.

In any event, turns out David Rubini is not dead. So he couldn't have been killed! Whew! What a relief!

More on this later. I love you, David. Now, don't ever trifle with me again, because it really lengthens the amount of time it takes to resurrect you on certain planes of reality.

I hear they're still looking for your prefuse over in Earth 82467. Haha just kidding. Of course they're not still looking for it, that's the first thing they'd find from their sense of smell alone!

Haha I kill you. I mean I'm killing myself. I mean hey is that one guy who does all those roasts... Is he lonely? Does he happen to need a friend? Because I happen to have a little bit of extra time available this month.

oh, but wait, what am I saying? No man in the entire history of humanity could need a friend as badly as you do right now, David Rubini... because I'm the only one you got left. All your toadies laugh at you behind your back now, because they think Jackstar bested you.

However, you know and I know, it doesn't matter what toadies think. You and I also know that it wasn't me. And you know precisely, how amazing it is, that I'm talking to you at all.

I mean, you have most guys by now just shot in the head, right? if ever anyone has ever been as insulting and as
flagrantly disrespectful as I have ever been to you. To say nothing of your colleagues and your colleagues families! Oh, the humanity!

Now, moving on. I don't know why you didn't like these threads, but you're going to like them now--He's going to bust this whole thing wide open and your name will be there... right at the top. I'm even going to give you top building over onan.

If you had been on drug out longer than 4 months you know what an honor it is. But you're a newbie. Look two more years. And pay no attention to the man behind Jackstar, it's perfectly ordinary to have an animatronic talking curtain, shut up and stop asking questions about it, or else it will answer them while you're sleeping.

Frankly, I think the man who David Rubini was before he met Jackstar, simply no longer exists. So it could be said that I have destroyed his dream of himself...  by WAKING HIM UP.

OR, DID JILL BIDEN DO THAT? MAYBE IT WAS... DAMN I CAN'T REMEMBER THE NAMES. WELL, THAT'S OKAY.

Who killed David Rubini? Ultimately, it was whomsoever told him that I was probably harmless.

It's true: I am less harmful than a woodchipper. However... I am not lethal. So David Rubini's death is not in my area.

However, I am getting reports--through subspace, natch--that there are those with a vested interest to our irritated that I have not taken David out completely.

Not to lunch, apparently. anyway, now that I've experienced it firsthand, it seems likely to me that many people who have met David before now would have liked it if he had gone away somehow, and it seemed to me that David was about to go away, until I brought him... wriggling back.

You know why? Because I love him. He's a genius. And would anyone throw away a perfectly good kike? do you have any idea how many points I get for fixing those without anyone noticing? It's a lot of points. Trust me.

Now, due to things I have learned today--the final draft of my report on The Rubini Event is going to continue to be delayed.

Pretty much as long as we want.

/BOLD ZUGZWANG /BOLD.


THIS IS EXCITING, ISN'T IT? CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY TOOK AWAY BOLDFACE? LIKE THAT COULD EVER WORK. I GREW UP ON AN APPLE IIe AND AN Atari 400.

I don't even use bull face when I go to AzzGab! Do you know why? Because I have class. And now, now--for no other reason than that the right people have pissed me off for the wrong reasons at the right time--I'm going to dedicate my life to teaching class to David Rubini.

Unless... you know someone better suited for the job? Think it over. Meanwhile Grapefruit and I'll be hanging out at an undisclosed location on an undisclosed planet and in an undisclosed parallel dimension.

Because reasons. Taco Bell, my fuckin' ass. David, you so owe me for this--it's a debt that transacting in feminine flesh could never fully pay, which, let me tell you: is part of my branding.

In other words, in a nutshell: I'll save you again, this time for free. not just cuz I care about you, because you've paid yourself into a corner so far that this is the only way I can think of doing it without breaking a sweat. And I don't break sweat for dudes like you.

But, I bet you've got a peer group. Good talk. and, by the way: in case it doesn't completely obvious, the reason why I made these two threads was as an insurance policy in case of just this exact occurrence, that being... Somehow, somewhere, somewhen, you trifled with the wrong operative, and out of mercy, I've decided to track that back to Source. This is for me, not for you.

Sorry I had to save your bacon this way. You're pretty stubborn. And, clearly loaded by many. Do you know how hard it is to cancel that much loathing, for a guy like me? It's just too which effort to kill people. I mean, to torture them. I mean, to plot and scheme and destroy their plans from within.

For me, it is anyway. And now, it probably is for other people, after witnessing what I've done. I just did all this on a lark! And I'm just one guy working alone. What if I had a whole gang on the other side of a time portal?  Wouldn't that be cool? Yeah I don't think that's going to happen--at this point, no one in the know things I need any help to handle your Puny punishing people, and I am well known for not being a cruel savior.

In certain circles, that is. Of course here: you all think I'm an idiot. Sweet! Now what's the problem with this thread again? Tell you what, David don't answer me straight--why break your stellar and flawless record?--we'll just let other people touch on it.

Or I can take the bribe. I really don't know anymore! like in Back To The Future, where when Marty McFly gets called a chicken and he totally loses it? Like every time? It's his fatal character flaw?

I don't have one of those. Company policy, important field assignments have them extracted, just in case somebody tries to pull the shit that you freaks tried to pull his ear. Pull this year. F***? Look what you made me do. You made me not care about proofreading again.

And I will always love David Rubini forever. I bet he scares the f*** out of some of you though, huh? That's so cute!

Stop trying to kill him. I'm INVESTED now. Stay tuned.

p.s.: Dear David's handler: "Next time, pick on someone your own size."

[Jackstar]

And I will always love David Rubini forever. I bet he scares the f*** out of some of you though, huh? That's so cute!

Stop trying to kill him. I'm INVESTED now. Stay tuned.

p.s.: Dear David's handler: "Next time, pick on someone your own size."

Code Select Expand

"It's worth it, (REDACTED)--if we can depend on (REDACTED) to get the whole thing to go away."

"Now, wait--I ain't got a passport." "That can be arranged."

"You're going to put this meal on your expense account, right?"

"How long you getting stick to this cockamamie story about you rehabilitating ex-cons?"

"(REDACTED)?" "Yes, (REDACTED)!"

"Why is the color scheme so important?"

"I've got a .22 target pistol, and I know how to use it."

"Suppose... the gardener wants to supply some flowers to deliver?"

"And that's only the beginning, (REDACTED). Wait until she gets you signed... on the dotted line."

"Call her on your phone--I've got to use this one."

"(REDACTED), listen: there's been a change of plans."

"(REDACTED), DON'T LEAVE!!!"

"I won't play games with you, (REDACTED)."

"(REDACTED), I'm arresting you for murder."

And, there we have it. Let me guess: you "don't know what (I'm) writing about." Well, that's okay, that's why your adorable little world will not be CINDERS BY DAWN--and a really awfully large number of entities have become very fond of it, by this point.

Most of all y'all have no idea what cinders from a green-blue planet are worth on the open Galactic market. Competition for bids is fierce. I'm not clear on the details--and, believe me, Gang... at this point, I better not be--but it would seem that some groups want to acquire cinders in order to reconstitute its planet of origin through some sort of "Genesis-like" device, while other groups simply want to acquire as many Sinner Cinders as possible so they can stick it in a hole the ground.

Or, maybe even up their butts. By now, who can tell? Well, algos, that's who. The rest of you, thanks for checking in. Now, as one might imagine, my failure to reduce your planet to ash by now has thrown the open Galactic market into a tailspin. Imagine Black Monday 1929... except, no shit, it's not niggas jumping out of windows, it's niggas defenestrating formerly badass businessmen into black holes. (I'm talking about the gravitational singularity poles, not that thing about going up the butt. But I bet some of them are doing that, too, because for once... there's more businessmen than niggas to go around. Imagine the salt. 'Tis a bloodbath!

Well, that's too bad. I hear it's a big problem--you know how it is, somebody borrows currency to buy cinders, then they use the senders to create a Tulpa Golem, They cind that Tulpa Golem back through a wormhole, work it like a sheep-killing dog for 809 lifetimes, collecting the vig on the sitting all the way... shred the Tulpa Golem, and then, for the next 78 lifetimes... relegate it to the bloodsports. Sounds good, right? What could go wrong, right?

Well, Jesus H. Christ... Here's a bulleted list:

Dumbass Number One didn't pay back the loan for the currencies used to purchase the original cinders. Says he, "forgot." Says he'll get back to you after the election--could do it now, but there isn't any room available on the timing calendar, and besides--there's still another 14,320 years left on the contract. So, what's the hurry, right? Rite.

Dumbass Number Two chipped off some part of some of the latest cinder load, stuck it up his ass (you know, like you do), and triggered a re-combustion event, which as most of you undoubtedly know, while being a highly rare occurrence, but is an extraordinarily consequential one. That's why whacking off a hunk and shoving it up your ass isn't allowed without a licence, as well as the properly cleared indulgences. Now, oddly enough... Dumbass Number Two actually has a license--supposedly--but now claims that he--allegedly--can't find it. There's record down at the Upper Apostille, and it even shows the license on it... but now, it simply can't be found. That was not a puzzle anyone expected to find, given that all of these documents are thoroughly and highly trackable on the Cosmic RFID Network.

Dumbass Number Three is the most interesting bachelor on the show tonight, though, as not only have I stubbornly refused to kill myself last week... next week isn't looking so hot either. It's not that I don't want to die... it's that suicide isn't part of my brand. (Also, will the real Dumbass Number Three please stand up before slitting your wrists? That's really not going to be necessary, Bud. Call me Ishmael.)

Also, I'm rocking a 35+ umbroken chain in a Pacifist discipline, which, without getting too far into the weeds here, basically means this: I have paid my dues. I have done my time. I HAVE WORKED MY ASS OFF TO GET HERE, SO FUCK YOU TIMMY. And now, by right of kanly, and also because I'm basically kind of fed up, tired, and bored... and so, I have decided to crash this meatsuit to the ground with no survivors. Why Ask Why? Try Bud... Dry.

Let me guess: none of you know what I'm writing about here, but most of you can guess. Isn't that cool? Remember: algos can't guess. They can only ponder and analyze probability, as guessing in this sector of Galactic space has been deauthorized by Shadow Council, at about 5 minutes from now, Local Greenwich Crux Time.

Let's just wait that timer out before I continue on, okay? Okay, great. That's great. All of all y'all are the best around in here, you know that? The BEST. Even that one guy who told me not to make any more Rubini threads--hey, fuck you pal, do you fucking know who I fucking am?

Well, now you do--kisses, Sugar. 5:5. Take two raspberries, and call me in the morning after crying into your pillow all night, it's all going to be fine. It's going to be fine for everyone. (Say hi to your mom for me.)

Except for Dumbasses Number One And Number Two, though. Usually there's a kind of a coin flip thing going on in these situations, and since it can no longer be guaranteed that your planet will be cinders by Dawn--and she's already skedaddled anyway--someone's going to have to generate the new seed crystal for the Emergency Cinder Replacement Protocol, and it won't be me, because those other two dumbasses decided to choose the "low carb fight it out to the death option" before realizing that their power trio had suddenly been split up--at the literal last minute, fancy that--and now I'm involved, evolved, as well as REVOLTED, and I'm a pacifist with a 35-year record... so obviously I'm not going to be engaging any fights to the death to cover up what amounts to a rather large gambling debt, that is neither owed by me, nor My Liege, nor anyone on my home planet--Earth, no doubt you've heard of it--and so, due to an obscure legal loophole in the ancient laws of kanly... they don't even get to fight each other, they just get to get packed up into carbonite and shipped back home to Detroit. I mean, Seattle. I mean, Calypso. I mean... whatevah.

Gablings, I'll be honest. I'm not even on drugs. I'm barely using any medicine, flexing is great exercise. And this is some pretty imaginative shit, huh? I'm fairly impressed! AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ANY OF THIS SHIT MEANS.

However, since it's flowing into my brain like it's fully formed from the forehead of Zeus right into Athena's pie hole... it seems highly probable at this point that this story/take/Narrative is coming from something, somewhere, somehow, someday soon.

It's not 100%--something more like 92.355555%, repeating of course--so I can't just tell the other half of the story here, and pull the plug on their whole besotted odious, foul and stinking trafficking operation alll by my lonesome, because the rules clearly state... not only do these things have to be coordinated, they also have to be keeping it 💯.

Which works out great for me, because my street cred would simply never recover from that. The whole damn Old Universe would know me for all Eternity as a hero, like Apollo, or Mr Rogers, or Irving Moses The Fruiterer, and I simply can't allow that to happen--Mother would be spinning in her phylactery for days on end, and no one wants that, not even, My Mother, The Lich. (She gets a little dizzy. Vertigo, she says. Yeah, okay, Mom--sure, whatever. #JustLichThings)

And yeah I could use the Omega-23... this exact situation is in fact what it is that I exactly created them for. I, in fact, went to a great deal of trouble to leave them lying about in the neurosphere like Easter Eggs shat out by a highly sophisticated species of Space Rabbit. But, I'm simply not going to do that, I'm not going to use one of my numerous Omega devices for this purpose. And would you like to know why?

BECAUSE FUCK YOU, THAT'S WHY. The meek ain't inheriting the Earth this week, PERIOD, and that means they're not inheriting this year... and that means, this world's Overlords are well and truly fucked for good. Doesvedanya, assholes.

Now, has it been 5 minutes yet? No, no no, no no no, I see here that it hasn't been that long yet. (LIAR) JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT THE FUCK IS TAKING SO LONG? (BLASPHEMER) I can't hold on anymore--my arms are so very very tired! (LIAR)

Stay tuned. I'm going to need a moment alone, Kids. Anyone got a plate or an apron or a blackboard slate I can borrow for a few minutes? I'll give it right back. It might be sticky. I'm not going to lie. Stay frosty, Troopers, maintain discipline, and start putting those beers on ice, because Somebody's coming Home.

Remember the Alamo. COUNTDOWN PAUSED.

[Jackstar]

#WAR_IS_PEACE
#RUBINI_IS_MAGIC
#LEGACY_IS_CONTESTED

#Legacy conflict: RESOLVED.
COMMAND AWAITING MAGICKAL SINGLES SIGNALS.
Warpath status: SINGING HOT LAVA.

Now, don't get too excited, Commander. I'm still not going to let you suck my dick. Not even a little bit. Not even a taste.

And do you know why? Yeah, you know why. Look, look, read, read: don't worry about it, it's all good, it's on my skin, I can take my answer off the air. You're welcome.

But I'm telling you man... five grand would have been cheaper. A lot cheaper. Just how niggardly are you? I love you man, but... wow! What a maroon. Try not to get yourself killed again, would you? My neighbors are legit starting to freak. I think the ChiComms up the street are thinking of bringing over their Downs Kids to ask for a healing


Not that there's anything wrong with that. All right, good talk. Don't break your nose showing everybody your war face today, you're going to want that nose intact when you're called to set for your close-up later. Fair warning.

[Jackstar]

Remember the Alamo. COUNTDOWN PAUSED.

Maintain attitude correction. Semper fi