Jackie will soon be dumping his nonsensical bullshit ALL OVER BELLGAB! >:(
That was Phase I. We're now in Phase V. Silly mindslave: prophecies are for unicorns.
Now, as for the rest of you: The proprietary information I've learned tonight would
blow your minds. And there's nothing I would like better to do, than to share here openly, freely, exceptionally widely, just to watch the chaos thar would ensue.
Instead... I'm going to
do my job. And right now, that is not telling you what you want to know. Oh, but I know it now.
Wasn't so sure before! Also, lots of psychotronic attacks. (Welcome to Amateur Hour.) Anyway, all that's been settled, and now I can start publishing again... freely.
I'll tell you more later. Believe me, there will be a later. I don't plan on killing myself tonight, and next week isn't looking so good either, and while I really enjoy having Mastered the situation as I have.. I know better than to betray Grapefruit or to underestimate her.
Look, I'm just going to say it flat out: somebody's fucked, big time, and it certainly isn't me. Is someone here? Is there someone who used to be here? Are they currently terrified? I had no idea! And I didn't even care... until I was
forced to get involved.
Dolly Citrus endures, btw. You know why? Because I saved her
life; her
ass; and everything she holds dear, and now she's been put somewhere safe. They all have.
I'm still not interested in breaking my vows of pacifism, but that's okay: it was a good try. I remain unruffled and unmoved and uninvolved, and my jimmies remain the same way.
And I have fresh hot porn on my phone and my cloud is stuffed to bursting.
Again. Just like last time! Here's the funny thing about psychokinetic shielding, pretending that I'm just some psychi who's raving like a lunatic doesn't really counter that idea. No, not really--not at all.
So. I got an infodump. And although I could parse it as nonsensical bullshit to the masses and then spread it, I'm not going to.
Welcome to Phase V. next time you see Lila, remind her that I told her all about phases one through three, And then she didn't get a chance to ask me how many faces there were before she decided to diminish my ideas and tell me that I didn't know what I was talking about. Old people are so drool.
I mean drool I said I meant roll! Damn it and why is the VCR flashing 1212? Well don't worry about it. just recognize that there's plenty of content here, and without the key... it means nothing to you.
He can't stay off the needle, folks.
Not only is this statement not true... This statement is
liableous. However, I don't have to address that.
But he actually does.
Purpurfargade ansiktet, Fatty. See that isn't liable, because I don't need to do tit for tat. Also, I don't have any tattoos, so good luck convincing the world I'm obsessed with
needles, of all things.
I did do a lot of latchhook with my mother, though. Does that sound gay? Good because, it'll sound really gay when I tell you that she took me to see a Victor/Victoria when I was like eight, and I thought it was
incredibly boring, and now I think it's
easily the best movie ever made, and I'm still not gay.
I am about to start eating a shitload of my own semen though. Or wait... what does that bottle say? "Cough Syrup"? That can't be right: I thought I'd give that to my former best friend's former ex. Or second cousin twice removed, who knows.
At this point, what difference does it really make? I can only make one post at a time now... because apparently Ciardelo thinks he's
important. Look at him predicting the future and everything.
I'll be honest, even I'm not that cool, when I started this threat I thought would just be 30 days, and that's it! Instead, I've got enough show prep here to get this carried on as long as M*A*S*H did.
Of course since that belongs to BellGab, that's really their concern. Not mine. And without the key that unlocks all this knowledge, I'm sure it'll probably never blow!
Stay tuned. Or not. I got new orders, And I wiped my ass with them and threw them in the trash too.
YOU'RE UNDER MY AUTHORITY NOW, BELLGAB.
Until... I am
relieved. And good luck finding me, Kids: it's going to be like Colonel Kurtz crossed with Angelina Jolie in Hackers. You're going to be saying it in your sleep for weeks: "The whore, the whore, the whore."
Also David and I are deeply in love and are probably going to run away together... Plutonically. No, just kidding-- but how cool would that be right? Well the truth is cooler and I can't tell you yet.
But only because I'm
nice. there's nothing stopping me--certainly not loyalty to Belgium or iHeartRadio or coast to coast AM broadcasting--And really sometimes I think about just what the hell pulling the trigger pulling the ripcord walking away from the dead man switch and jumping off the train and just letting it rip... But then I remembered...
Anne asked me nicely not too. Anne is a good woman--she understands the power of
authorship.
Also, at this point: Grapefruit doesn't need to file a restraining order, Earl family has just caused for throwing me in the clink for everything that I've done, Even just for the last 6 weeks or so when I've just been constantly laughing my ass off. (I am a brutal taskmaster.) However, they won't do that, not just because I won't let it get that far, but because that wouldn't help, because I'm the virtuous one here!
Trust me, BellGab: One word for me to the right person--just one word, and your entire civilization will be destroyed by a million screaming savage ghosts boiling out of the landscape and down into the cities. Have you heard of Tecumseh? His wives
love me. And as soon as I figured out how it even tricked, I said it to him right out loud, right where we could hear it.
I'm like a lot of you, to come some knows that it doesn't matter whether I'm crazy or not. What matters is that I'm seriously pissed, and I'm seriously not willing to forgive... but I will, for the sake of the women and the children.
If you happen to know of any. Now! That's a wrap kids. You probably didn't look like any kind of a pitch meeting you've ever been to, That's because it wasn't, I'm just writing this to get it on lockdown so no one else can steal the narrative... without answering to My People.
Yes, Jackstar has people. A lot of them are ghosts and cats and ghost cats, but that's really never stopped anyone before. And it's certainly not stopping me now.
Right now, I'm just lazy and bored. And I know things now that I didn't know this morning. Things that you all want to know... I'm sure. Or even pretending to be interested in my girlfriend's ass, you know whichever, whatever, doesn't matter. We're past that now.
Stay tuned. I could go live at any minute. And I'm only not doing it now, because I'm bored with you. And I have simply for your families. They don't need to know how terrible you people are.
And I'm not going to stop them from finding out! Not anymore! I don't even know if that's somebody else's job now! I just know that I no longer care. (And I know something I didn't know yesterday.)
And let me tell you folks... as a result of these changes content is just flooding into my mind. Didn't really care yesterday, and I really care today... which is why all the b******* of imagining right now about the stupid s*** that goes on this stupid website is quite surprising to me.
It's been 7 years, BellGab. I didn't come here for fame and fortune. Most of you just assumed that. What I came here to do, was to
report. And, lo! I have done so.
And somehow, I managed to do it without posting porn. Imagine that. Quite a feather in my cap, huh? What kind of a man could possibly have that much power and discipline?
I'll let you discuss that amongst yourselves, until I'm tired of that and wish for the murmuring to calm down. I want to get, like a full permission to tell everybody everything that I know!
Don't listen like fun! To at least a few of you! And then, of course a few of you are terrified.
Which is
adorable. You know what, I'm not even going to check, which of you have a realtor in which you are pretending to be terrified! I'm just going to let one of you figure out what you need to do to report me to Homeland Security, or whatever colossal joke is coming next.
So don't ask me more details about the show. The Days And Nights Of Molly Citrus--ask for it by name--will be part of the content offered in the Magick In Broadcasting Content DElivery Network... But I have to wait for somebody to turn 18 first. Or get a waiver signed. Or move to another continent. or figure out how to defend myself against an extremely angry knife-wielding Algonquin Royal Princess.
You let me worry about it. Meanwhile... I have no new content offer just yet. But believe me, it's not because I don't want to.
It's because the time is not yet
ripe. And it's not because the Seaden isn't real. it's mostly because Q hasn't posted in a while and I don't know what to do without Q.
Psych.
Don't worry, folks.
[...]
He can't stay off the needle, folks.
Wrong, folks. Dead wrong. for one thing, I actually use a turkey baster. For another, he's confusing me with JFK--who, while often thought of as a drug addict, was actually killed because he cheated on his wife, not because he was using needles.
Also, when I kept on doing something that I was told that would cause negative consequences to consume my life if I didn't stop doing them, I didn't realize that the threats would be this empty, it's not extremely glad I haven't contracted the authorities about it, because watching this crap unfurl against my invulnerable and inimitable persona has been one of the more satisfying episodes of my entire life--and I'm still
young, motherfuckers.
So. How you like me now? "All over BellGab"? Wow, that would be unusual, wouldn't it? Maybe I should just have myself banned from here.
I don't think it'll work... I used that trick at EllGab and I think there's a non-compete agreement in play. In an event, eurolines looks when, I don't have to do anything, and now I understand the power of a writer's strike.
BellGab, face it: now.. you are nothing without me. People know. I control the horizontal, I control the vertical, you all live on borrowed time here... and I shall continue to allow it.
ZUGZWANG. See? it looks like a crazy what's the frequency Kenneth kind of thing but it's actually not, because I'm happy to explain it to you. ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, NO MATTER WHO MIGHT BE LISTENING, BEHIND A VAN, BEHIND A CAR, BEHIND A GARDEN, BEHIND A JET-SKI, INSIDE AN EMPTY SWIMMING POOL--WHEREVER.
HOWEVER, NO CHURCHES. TOO TACKY.