Author Dumb Americans at Bell Gab  (Read 845 times)

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Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« on: August 08, 2020, 08:07:24 PM »
I'm considering this to be maybe the food, water and shit we injest which dumbs us down.

http://youtu.be/KLODGhEyLvk

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #1 on: August 13, 2020, 05:16:35 PM »
I'm considering this to be maybe the food, water and shit we injest which dumbs us down.

http://youtu.be/KLODGhEyLvk

You have no idea of what normal people find interesting.  Stop starting shit threads that go nowhere.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #2 on: August 14, 2020, 11:17:37 AM »

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #3 on: August 14, 2020, 11:42:16 AM »
This is a long-overdue thread and often comes up at the weekly meetings I have with prominent socialist agitators. We call it 'The American Problem'.

As I often like to say, I have loathed and despised Americans since before it was cool. They are, without question, the worst nation on Earth; even outpacing Australians, which is no mean achievement. Obese, smelly, and preternaturally unintelligent, they are the curse of the world. 'Led' by a cretinous imposter, whose dim-witted acolytes could watch him jamming hamsters up his anus without affecting their slack-jawed idolatry, one has to ask, rather like my hero Lenin, 'what is to be done?' I favour steering them into a very large, deep pit, on the promise of a free voucher to gorge themselves stupid at their favourite burger shack. While they're in there we mobilise as many aircraft as humanly possible to drop as much heavy shit on them as we can. We can play some soothing music while the smushing goes on (I don't want to be accused of undue cruelty) but this is the most cost-effective solution, and we can then use the human fertiliser to plant lovely gardens and help the environment.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #4 on: August 14, 2020, 11:46:15 AM »
This is a long-overdue thread and often comes up at the weekly meetings I have with prominent socialist agitators. We call it 'The American Problem'.

As I often like to say, I have loathed and despised Americans since before it was cool. They are, without question, the worst nation on Earth; even outpacing Australians, which is no mean achievement. Obese, smelly, and preternaturally unintelligent, they are the curse of the world. 'Led' by a cretinous imposter, whose dim-witted acolytes could watch him jamming hamsters up his anus without affecting their slack-jawed idolatry, one has to ask, rather like my hero Lenin, 'what is to be done?' I favour steering them into a very large, deep pit, on the promise of a free voucher to gorge themselves stupid at their favourite burger shack. While they're in there we mobilise as many aircraft as humanly possible to drop as much heavy shit on them as we can. We can play some soothing music while the smushing goes on (I don't want to be accused of undue cruelty) but this is the most cost-effective solution, and we can then use the human fertiliser to plant lovely gardens and help the environment.

^^^^^^^
Ruled by a queen.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #5 on: August 14, 2020, 12:10:51 PM »
This is a long-overdue thread and often comes up at the weekly meetings I have with prominent socialist agitators. We call it 'The American Problem'.

As I often like to say, I have loathed and despised Americans since before it was cool. They are, without question, the worst nation on Earth; even outpacing Australians, which is no mean achievement. Obese, smelly, and preternaturally unintelligent, they are the curse of the world. 'Led' by a cretinous imposter, whose dim-witted acolytes could watch him jamming hamsters up his anus without affecting their slack-jawed idolatry, one has to ask, rather like my hero Lenin, 'what is to be done?' I favour steering them into a very large, deep pit, on the promise of a free voucher to gorge themselves stupid at their favourite burger shack. While they're in there we mobilise as many aircraft as humanly possible to drop as much heavy shit on them as we can. We can play some soothing music while the smushing goes on (I don't want to be accused of undue cruelty) but this is the most cost-effective solution, and we can then use the human fertiliser to plant lovely gardens and help the environment.

Not this weasel guy again!


Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #6 on: August 14, 2020, 12:58:07 PM »

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #7 on: August 14, 2020, 01:07:55 PM »
Not this weasel guy again!

The paucity of your rodent knowledge is only one of the many reasons you'll be occupying a prime place in the pit during The Great Smushing. Buckle up, buttercup, this will hurt you a lot more than it will hurt me.

Dumb Punylings at BallGag
« Reply #8 on: August 14, 2020, 01:38:26 PM »



rodent knowledge

UPGRADE, DANCE MONKEY.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #9 on: August 14, 2020, 01:45:33 PM »
^^^^^^^
Ruled by a queen.

Is a giant queen.



Hello, darling.    :-* :-* :-*

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #10 on: August 14, 2020, 01:52:46 PM »
Is a giant queen.

Don't aim your contamacious calumnies at me. My red-blooded hetero-normative values are plain for all to see, you filthy, pirouetting sodomite. Why you haven't died of AIDS by now is a disappointing mystery.

Brilliant, Scintillating Scholars at Billed Gin
« Reply #11 on: August 14, 2020, 01:59:57 PM »
Why you haven't died of AIDS by now is a disappointing mystery.

I'm not going to lie; I've been handing out a lot of upgrades.

Company policy--well, it was. Your copy of the announcing memo must have gotten lost in the mailroom. Sad!

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #12 on: August 14, 2020, 02:00:20 PM »
Don't aim your contamacious calumnies at me. My red-blooded hetero-normative values are plain for all to see, you filthy, pirouetting sodomite. Why you haven't died of AIDS by now is a disappointing mystery.

You should be nicer to me, comrade, since I am a far-Left radical now in the skinniest of skinny jeans, standing beside you at the barricades hurling bags of urine at the fascists.

Dumb Americans at Work
« Reply #13 on: August 14, 2020, 02:01:58 PM »
You should be nicer to me, comrade

Did he even have his chance to be close to you?

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #14 on: August 14, 2020, 02:05:26 PM »
You should be nicer to me, comrade, since I am a far-Left radical now in the skinniest of skinny jeans, standing beside you at the barricades hurling bags of urine at the fascists.

I'm sure you're ready to provide mouth-to-mouth for any eligible youngster who falls during baton charges. With a special interest in groin injuries.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #15 on: August 14, 2020, 02:10:31 PM »
You should be nicer to me, comrade, since I am a far-Left radical now in the skinniest of skinny jeans, standing beside you at the barricades hurling bags of urine at the fascists.

As a hetero norm long-haired weed smoking conservative person of color who will be visiting your clusterfuk of a city soon, should a bag of leftist urine make its incursion onto my being I shall be quite pissed sir.

Do you want to get a beer afterwards?

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #16 on: August 14, 2020, 02:39:25 PM »
person of color who will be visiting your clusterfuk of a city soon

A missing vowel AND a missing consonant? I don't even know where to begin to correct this. I give up. I'll just go start drinking early.

... aaand, I'm spent.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #17 on: August 14, 2020, 03:12:08 PM »
You should be nicer to me, comrade, since I am a far-Left radical now in the skinniest of skinny jeans, standing beside you at the barricades hurling bags of urine at the fascists.

Indeed K_Dubb, some of his out-dated political ideas are due for the Memory Hole after my ascendancy and implementation of the first 100 days of Making America Pate Again plan.  Did you see his ideas that might be readily applied to the "No Fatties Problem"?  To wit:

... I favour steering them into a very large, deep pit, on the promise of a free voucher to gorge themselves stupid at their favourite burger shack. While they're in there we mobilise as many aircraft as humanly possible to drop as much heavy shit on them as we can. We can play some soothing music while the smushing goes on (I don't want to be accused of undue cruelty) but this is the most cost-effective solution, and we can then use the human fertiliser to plant lovely gardens and help the environment.

Perhaps with some gentle Re-Education that I am certain you could provide, in your own way, he could be made into an Asset for the Make America Pate Again initiative?

I am spit-balling here, and frankly would prefer that you deal with him.  I do not trust his foreign, close-set and darting eyes...

You may offer him a plum if you wish, maybe a small tasteless one that will not be missed?  I will of course have Jackstar assign a very special security detail for him;  he will need to be monitored closely for other "Bad Foreign Ideas" that he may have in addition to his self-declared Communist leanings:  which we will free him from at the very special "Really Fun Re-Education Camps".  I envision a circus atmosphere for these...

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"



Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #18 on: August 14, 2020, 03:15:52 PM »
As a hetero norm long-haired weed smoking conservative person of color who will be visiting your clusterfuk of a city soon, should a bag of leftist urine make its incursion onto my being I shall be quite pissed sir.

Do you want to get a beer afterwards?

Ask him for a plum!

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #19 on: August 14, 2020, 03:17:58 PM »
I will of course have Jackstar assign a very special security detail for him

All security personnel have been fired, furloughed, or fed to Sinistar, as of early this morning. Re-staffing has already re-commenced, but in the meantime, you're on your own, Champ.

Here, take this mustard colon it's dangerous to go alone.

Yule bee is fine. DRACARYS.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #20 on: August 14, 2020, 03:26:45 PM »
As a hetero norm long-haired weed smoking conservative person of color who will be visiting your clusterfuk of a city soon, should a bag of leftist urine make its incursion onto my being I shall be quite pissed sir.

Do you want to get a beer afterwards?

Your politics do not offend me but the clearly stated position that you will not, under any circumstances and quite independent of my immense personal allure, put out wounds me to the quick.  You're cute, though; I remember.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #21 on: August 14, 2020, 03:30:05 PM »
Indeed K_Dubb, some of his out-dated political ideas are due for the Memory Hole after my ascendancy and implementation of the first 100 days of Making America Pate Again plan.  Did you see his ideas that might be readily applied to the "No Fatties Problem"?  To wit:

Perhaps with some gentle Re-Education that I am certain you could provide, in your own way, he could be made into an Asset for the Make America Pate Again initiative?

I am spit-balling here, and frankly would prefer that you deal with him.  I do not trust his foreign, close-set and darting eyes...

You may offer him a plum if you wish, maybe a small tasteless one that will not be missed?  I will of course have Jackstar assign a very special security detail for him;  he will need to be monitored closely for other "Bad Foreign Ideas" that he may have in addition to his self-declared Communist leanings:  which we will free him from at the very special "Really Fun Re-Education Camps".  I envision a circus atmosphere for these...

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"


I think the Fat Kamps a superior idea, sir.  Less messy, and CANOOOES!

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #22 on: August 14, 2020, 03:34:03 PM »
the clearly stated position that you will not [...] put out wounds me to the quick

This statement right here doesn't speak very well about your own personal belief in your own ability to seduce persuade as well as to score some scopolamine and/or GHB. Put a little backbone in it, mang. You're embarrassing us all here.

You should be enjoying the chase as much as the catch, you know. Have your therapist call one of my flunkies tomorrow morning; that way, the chain of command shall be maintained.

Now, I know this seems kind of forward to you, but as you have put yourself forward as a Candidate, that means that your latest test results for your latest sex addiction progression screening test are a matter of public record. It's going to cause some bandwidth issues, but f*** it: if Netflix can break the internet, so can you.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #23 on: August 14, 2020, 03:35:41 PM »
I think the Fat Kamps a superior idea

30 YEARS TOO LATE, PUNYLING.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #24 on: August 14, 2020, 03:37:56 PM »
I don't think the Great American Public are going to stand for an all-fag ticket. I'm sure I speak for us all in hoping that the days of The Pink House are very far distant.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #25 on: August 14, 2020, 03:44:29 PM »
This is racist and I am now highly offended.

Dumb Brits at Bell Gab
« Reply #26 on: August 14, 2020, 03:50:34 PM »
Obese, smelly, and preternaturally unintelligent, they are the curse of the world.

You forgot inbred


Dumb Brits at Bell Gab
« Reply #27 on: August 14, 2020, 03:54:19 PM »
>back to school stab proof vests

KEK!


Dumb Brits at Bell Gab
« Reply #28 on: August 14, 2020, 03:58:19 PM »
stab proof vests

"Yes, hello, Mr. Widdershins? This is the police calling. We have proof that your child was stabbed. Thank you for listening, please remember to vote Labour. Goodbye."


Still--superior to a Clinton presidency.

Dumb Americans at Work
« Reply #29 on: August 14, 2020, 03:58:35 PM »
Did he even have his chance to be close to you?

He did!  I tried to talk to him about the music we both love and he started patronizing me right away, much as you are doing pretending to teach me about seduction.  You guys must make up your minds:  I am either a hapless naif or a sophisticated whore.  I am perfectly happy playing either but I cannot do both.