Author Dumb Americans at Bell Gab  (Read 812 times)

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Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #90 on: August 15, 2020, 12:12:46 PM »
Keep trying. You're a fucking joke.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #91 on: August 15, 2020, 12:16:29 PM »
Once again you fail to grasp a tongue-in-cheek quip.  Your total lack of a sense of humor, inability to grasp nuance and word-play, and difficulty in communicating with others on an adult level tells me you place somewhere on the Autism Spectrum, probably in the Asperger Syndrome range.

Or maybe youíre just not as funny as you think you are.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #92 on: August 15, 2020, 12:18:38 PM »
What urp Srednu!

Good to see ya resurface 'round these parts.

I felt very out being the ONE AND ONLY foreigner around all these red blooded MAGA hat donning bad boys.

Yes, it's very intimidating. They're proving my point without my having to do anything.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #93 on: August 15, 2020, 12:19:16 PM »
Or maybe youíre just not as funny as you think you are.

You're an expert in that area.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #94 on: August 15, 2020, 12:19:50 PM »
You're an expert in that area.

Funny? I know.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #95 on: August 15, 2020, 12:27:40 PM »
Funny? I know.

Your constant attempts to claim you're straight keep us in stitches.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #96 on: August 15, 2020, 12:31:42 PM »
Your constant attempts to claim you're straight keep us in stitches.

Just wishful thinking on your part.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #97 on: August 15, 2020, 01:04:59 PM »
You remind me of Knut Hamsun.

Oh you know how thrilling I must find that comparison, however undeserved!

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #98 on: August 15, 2020, 01:08:12 PM »
Oh you know how thrilling I must find that comparison, however undeserved!

K_Nut. Both overrated writers. Both Nazis.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #99 on: August 15, 2020, 01:08:24 PM »
Oh you know how thrilling I must find that comparison, however undeserved!

Nonsense, you're brilliant! And such a breath of fresh air as opposed to the emotionally vacant, intellectually handicapped individual thumbing his softy to my ev'ry keystroke.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #100 on: August 15, 2020, 01:10:01 PM »
Nazis.

Wait. This isn't the Nazi Youth rally?

Talk about wrong place wrong time!

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #101 on: August 15, 2020, 01:14:32 PM »
K_Nut. Both overrated writers. Both Nazis.

When you have scaled the pinnacles of literature in our presence you will be entitled to cast stones from whatever height you reach; until then you must be content with whatever I roll downhill out of pity.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #102 on: August 15, 2020, 01:18:43 PM »
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

You do realise that this pure fiction hasn't gotten a single chuckle out of so much as one BellGabber?

I'm an outsider, a pariah, and your retarded efforts at trying to destroy me have literally gone nowhere.

Yeah, but youíre our pariah and general pain in the ass so take comfort in belonging. 

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #103 on: August 15, 2020, 01:24:15 PM »
Nonsense, you're brilliant! And such a breath of fresh air as opposed to the emotionally vacant, intellectually handicapped individual thumbing his softy to my ev'ry keystroke.

You are too kind.  But I can't say I regret his presence as I think I enjoy your skillful parries almost as much as you do.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #104 on: August 15, 2020, 01:27:07 PM »
Yeah, but youíre our pariah and general pain in the ass so take comfort in belonging.

Aww, that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me. I'm glad we got past the animal cruelty beef.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #105 on: August 15, 2020, 01:27:29 PM »
You are too kind.  But I can't say I regret his presence as I think I enjoy your skillful parries almost as much as you do.

It is fun. I'll admit that.

intellectually curious, potentially canoe-borne Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #106 on: August 15, 2020, 02:00:08 PM »
Those throngs of you interested in Bronze Age canoeing might be interested in the Hjortspring boat, found in a bog in Denmark, and its replica:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hjortspring_boat

Quote
When found, the boat contained a great quantity of weapons and armour, including 131 shields of the Celtic type, 33 well-crafted Shield bosses, 138 iron spearheads, 31 bone or antler spearheads, 11 single-edged iron swords, and the remains of several mailcoats. Two of the swords were deliberately bent, a practice associated with Iron Age rituals. The largest of the spearheads is a massive 43.5 centimetres (17 inches) long. The find also contained bowls, boxes, blacksmith's tools, and other everyday goods. The sinking of the vessel in the bog has been interpreted as a deliberate votive offering. This is reinforced by the presence of a dismembered horse placed beneath the boat at the time of burial along with a lamb, a calf, and two dogs. Numerous graves have been discovered in Denmark from this time period containing similar grave goods and sacrificed horses, dogs, lambs, cows, other animals, and human beings

"Celtic", though usually associated in the popular imagination these days with the Irish, refers in the Bronze Age to a general European artistic style that simply survived in Ireland the longest.


Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #107 on: August 15, 2020, 02:03:32 PM »
Yeah, but youíre our pariah and general pain in the ass so take comfort in belonging.

Heís yours? That makes sense actually.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #108 on: August 15, 2020, 03:43:44 PM »
Dear sir,

I am loath to vituperate my countrymen while Shreddie is looking as it might be seen as abetting the enemy and I do not wish to abet him in any way -- in any event he provided his measurements once and has no stones to throw -- but, as this issue is very close to my heart (or, rather, my spleen) I plan to spend a great deal of time at the Fat Kamps providing an example of the lithe and graceful enjoyment of the outdoors when not encumbered by great rolls of flesh.  During your visits I would consider it a boon if we were to canoe shirtless as a photo op for the assembled press corps, perhaps accompanied by some of the worthier inmates in order to display their progress and instill pride in their newfound physiques, proud naked sunlit shoulders rhythmically working in a breeze of their own making.

There has always seemed to me to be a fundamental difference in posture when canoeing where men proportioned as God intended perch alertly in the bows ready to deploy their paddles at any exigency while the obese must content themselves with feeble and ineffective flapping as any shift in ballast endangers the narrow vessel.  Any fat man in a canoe will wind up in the drink at some point, helpless to prevent it.

I blush to mention that I will need you to steer as, despite my enthusiasm for the sport, I seem to be attracted to any dangerous obstacles like bridge abutments which draw me like a magnet and, with the inevitable ramming, my lithe and graceful composure tends to suffer.



Canoeing I learned in my youth,  and did fairly well.  This would be on relatively calm rivers in Missouri with lovely French names.

You would probably enjoy the Elk river, it has decent fishing if you do no treat the canoe trip as a race.

The rapids on the popular rivers are, indeed, sometimes located near bridges that span bluffs of varying heights, but the current is not generally swift.  I would hesitate to claim that there are any class IV rapids present on the rivers, perhaps at flood stages?  To be certain, if the rivers are high there can be class III rapids.

I think I only capsized a canoe once, a difficult II-III passage was being attempted.  I do not recall if the near-by school of canoe'ed fish-wives were attempting a crossing of the tee in order to deviously befoul us:  or, if I as Captain were attempting a dashing maneuver of similar nature to amaze and beguile them?  I suspect the former was the case, the resultant collision sank the ship straight into the swiftly running clear depths, while I and my copilot valiantly attempted to secure it, our cooler, and what loose provisions I had constantly recommend be stowed properly during our voyage up to that that point from vanishing into the murky depths that lay slightly beyond in a vast still pool.

The ladies in question, survived the collision, did not capsize and kindly "backed their oars" to watch in mirthful glee and as possible rescuers should the need have arisen.  Evil fishwives the lot of them, <unmanly boyish sigh>.

Needless to say, after the successful recovery of all items, the raising and righting of the ship, and perhaps a fortifying light snack with the questionable ladies (who were much impressed by our skillful mastery of the disaster) on the inevitably nearby downstream rocky sandbar (where no gold nuggets were to be found, although there was a cursory inspection with a frisbee for the presence of such wonderous finds...).  AH, those were the days, I note and this is not bragging and fact:

I was very well trained in the Art of Canoeing by a Marine Colonel in my earlier formative years!  So if we are ever canoeing and you hear me utter the utterly calm preparatory "K_Dubb, Attend" command.  I recommend that you immediately, without fouling ship or its course, attend to any calm and quite very specific directions that may or may not follow.  Often able seaman distracted in the course of mission when called to attention in this manner discern and in a seemingly automaton like manner, silently and skillfully navigate the ship with sharp seaman like maneuvers that if witnessed may be applauded, cheered or silently saluted as the situation Warrants.

That said, it has been many years, but I assume canoeing is much like bicycling:  you never really forget!

Hear, a musical selection to Amuse the reader(s):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrvVQm6kKZ4

-p

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #109 on: August 15, 2020, 03:59:16 PM »
Canoeing I learned in my youth,  and did fairly well. 


Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #110 on: August 15, 2020, 04:04:35 PM »


Well, I at least knew how to fix the cherry with appropriately applied spittle on such things as that, heh.

Prosit, old buddy!  How have you been?

-p

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #111 on: August 15, 2020, 04:07:27 PM »

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #112 on: August 15, 2020, 04:23:43 PM »
Well, I at least knew how to fix the cherry with appropriately applied spittle on such things as that, heh.

Prosit, old buddy!  How have you been?

-p

Just living the dream mang, chop water carry wood.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #113 on: August 15, 2020, 04:27:14 PM »
Just living the dream mang, chop water carry wood.


Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #114 on: August 15, 2020, 04:35:51 PM »

 ...So if we are ever canoeing and you hear me utter the utterly calm preparatory "K_Dubb, Attend" command...

-p
Ah, such a purposeful approach, applicable to many things.


Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #115 on: August 15, 2020, 05:23:21 PM »
Iím so elated to see so many idiots here, we can all relate from our empty perceptions, so nice.  We donít have much to discuss, oh well Iíll choke back on my thoughts.

Americans just let the feds push you around, just be complacent.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #116 on: August 15, 2020, 05:30:46 PM »
Americans just let the feds push you around, just be complacent.

no u

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #117 on: August 17, 2020, 02:18:26 PM »
Canoeing I learned in my youth,  and did fairly well.  This would be on relatively calm rivers in Missouri with lovely French names.

You would probably enjoy the Elk river, it has decent fishing if you do no treat the canoe trip as a race.

The rapids on the popular rivers are, indeed, sometimes located near bridges that span bluffs of varying heights, but the current is not generally swift.  I would hesitate to claim that there are any class IV rapids present on the rivers, perhaps at flood stages?  To be certain, if the rivers are high there can be class III rapids.

I think I only capsized a canoe once, a difficult II-III passage was being attempted.  I do not recall if the near-by school of canoe'ed fish-wives were attempting a crossing of the tee in order to deviously befoul us:  or, if I as Captain were attempting a dashing maneuver of similar nature to amaze and beguile them?  I suspect the former was the case, the resultant collision sank the ship straight into the swiftly running clear depths, while I and my copilot valiantly attempted to secure it, our cooler, and what loose provisions I had constantly recommend be stowed properly during our voyage up to that that point from vanishing into the murky depths that lay slightly beyond in a vast still pool.

The ladies in question, survived the collision, did not capsize and kindly "backed their oars" to watch in mirthful glee and as possible rescuers should the need have arisen.  Evil fishwives the lot of them, <unmanly boyish sigh>.

Needless to say, after the successful recovery of all items, the raising and righting of the ship, and perhaps a fortifying light snack with the questionable ladies (who were much impressed by our skillful mastery of the disaster) on the inevitably nearby downstream rocky sandbar (where no gold nuggets were to be found, although there was a cursory inspection with a frisbee for the presence of such wonderous finds...).  AH, those were the days, I note and this is not bragging and fact:

I was very well trained in the Art of Canoeing by a Marine Colonel in my earlier formative years!  So if we are ever canoeing and you hear me utter the utterly calm preparatory "K_Dubb, Attend" command.  I recommend that you immediately, without fouling ship or its course, attend to any calm and quite very specific directions that may or may not follow.  Often able seaman distracted in the course of mission when called to attention in this manner discern and in a seemingly automaton like manner, silently and skillfully navigate the ship with sharp seaman like maneuvers that if witnessed may be applauded, cheered or silently saluted as the situation Warrants.

That said, it has been many years, but I assume canoeing is much like bicycling:  you never really forget!

Hear, a musical selection to Amuse the reader(s):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrvVQm6kKZ4

-p

I shall be most attentive, sir!  I am truly blessed that you chose me as your running mate since your skill (and training!) in canoe handling complements my talents perfectly, which lend themselves more to sitting in the bow sunning my back and shoulders and making a few desultory swishes with the paddle whenever someone is looking.  A quiet stretch of river, a cooler of beer, a small accordion to accompany your chanteuse, idyllic.

Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #118 on: August 17, 2020, 02:18:45 PM »
Ah, such a purposeful approach, applicable to many things.



mmmhmm


Dumb Americans at Bell Gab
« Reply #119 on: August 17, 2020, 09:26:33 PM »
Ah, such a purposeful approach, applicable to many things.



I am not into such activities that disturbing uniform implies.  It is slightly amusing to think of wearing such a thing to a Presidential Debate or State of The Union address, but only for the entries that may be generated for the Book of Laughter.

That looks really uncomfortable and sweaty, your mind is twisted ItsOver!  I may have to schedule you for a remedial visit to the Really Fun ReEducation Kamps.

This disturbs my peace of mind.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"