pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"

[pate]

I'm a little tired of shit not getting fixed...

Pal, how long have you been employed by the Federal Government, again? 

I don't see how you can be tired, as the shit is clearly not fixed:  hence my campaign to clean up the mess you and your buddies seem to have made over the years.

You WILL earn your keep under my Administration, so quit wasting time posting whiny-ass messages;  I may require a refund on behalf of the American people for your obvious failure:  I would hate to make you an object lesson.

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

[Jackstar]

the mess you and your buddies seem to have made over the years.

They meant well. They're fully, wholly retarded, but they meant well. You can tell by how many times they asked to see her tits.

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

As the heavens hath foretold. It's hard to argue when the Cusp of Prophecy is involved.

[paladin1991]

This is the time of year when our thoughts turn to baking for Christmas!  Just yesterday I made a fyrstekake (sort of a rustic almond tart thing) to be carefully wrapped in tissue and tinned for several months, during which time the subtle flavors of almond and cardamom suffuse the whole in an intoxicating wash and the pastry, hard and browned from the oven, gradually softens as the almond filling releases its retained moisture, ultimately yielding a velvety, supremely buttery crumb.  Needless to say, these treats must be stored way up high, so high that small children and even belligerent teenagers can not reach them.

Fudge is also one of the delicacies we make around this time.  You would be amazed at how long it keeps if stored properly!  Now I am aware that, on your side of the mountains, you pride yourselves in the old ways of food preservation like canning and smoking but we have our own tricks and, if you want to come over here, I will pack your fudge so high it will be nice and safe until Christmas.

You would make a good wife.

[paladin1991]

Pal, how long have you been employed by the Federal Government, again? 

I don't see how you can be tired, as the shit is clearly not fixed:  hence my campaign to clean up the mess you and your buddies seem to have made over the years.

You WILL earn your keep under my Administration, so quit wasting time posting whiny-ass messages;  I may require a refund on behalf of the American people for your obvious failure:  I would hate to make you an object lesson.

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

I am not subject to intimidation. 

[Jackstar]

I am not subject to intimidation.

Hopefully, you'll be subject to an audit, Fuck-0.

[pate]

I am not subject to intimidation.

You feel intimidated?  I am sorry, for an "old war-horse" you seem pretty naggy;  more akin to a mare than the stallion you present yourself to be.

Perhaps, you would like some sex-reassignment surgery?  Or perhaps I could talk K-Dubb into "pushing in your plum" as it were, I will ask him to be gentle with you!

Please tell me, dear Pal, what shit of yours is it that we need to fix?

I will do the best I can until I take Office, so at best you will have to settle for friendly gestures and acts until then.  Once I have the FULL FORCE of the Office and all that will entail, I will see to it personally that some shit gets fixed.  Until that time, I think the official Make America Pate Again stance is NO WHINING.

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

[K_Dubb]

As an aside, I would also like to end the practice of fortification of Dairy products with Vitamin D.  As everyone knows, the human body produces its own required daily nutritional allotment of Vitamin D via the skin (the largest organ of the human body) when exposed to full sunlight.  For certain individuals as little as fifteen minutes of exposure to the sun is enough for the body to generate the required daily amount of Vitamin D.

Naturally, by removing the artificially added Vitamin D the people of the nation will be encouraged to spend probably an hour each day outside in the the sunlight shirtless in order to maintain the body's naturally produced store of that critical nutritional aliment!

Dear sir,

I have been considering this proposal carefully.  You know I am all in favor of gratuitous shirtlessness at all times of year if the subject is reasonably fit, and will bend my appraisal to admit that men of a certain robust chubbiness -- by no means obese, or even close -- have occasionally caught  my eye if they have nice eyes and a smile, but I fear the license this might grant for the fat to frolic in the streets to the consternation of all.  My neighbor (not the hot Russian one; the guy across the street) occasionally ventures out shirtless in the heat but, while his arms are well-muscled, his gut precedes him by at least half a yard.  Were he pregnant with a bull calf I don't think it would appear any more swollen.

Perhaps skin works like the sail area on a vessel where production of vitamin D is concerned and we should stress that fat people will get quite enough sunlight in a quick dash to the mailbox at noon?

[K_Dubb]

Or perhaps I could talk K-Dubb into "pushing in your plum" as it were, I will ask him to be gentle with you!

Oh I can be ever so gentle when the situation requires!

[pate]

...
Perhaps skin works like the sail area on a vessel where production of vitamin D is concerned and we should stress that fat people will get quite enough sunlight in a quick dash to the mailbox at noon?

A single shirtless "quick dash" to the mailbox and back may well be indicated for aesthetic reasons, but for the individual afflicted with Chronic Rotundity will do little to improve their condition.  I would recommend several "quick dashes" to the mailbox (akin to the dreaded Shuttle-Run of youthful gym classes), perhaps retrieving a single piece of mail each time.  This should be followed by 200 repetitions of the sit-up each day, and once the gut is reduced enough to allow a "no-cheating" push-up they may then add 200 repetitions of that exercise to their daily regimen.

Rather than hide this fat problem behind closed doors and drawn curtains, we should attempt to fix that shit?

Of course, I would be tempted to use the Giant Mobile Bench Dough Rollers I came up with for traffic incidents to increase the national supply of door-mats.  But luckily, the No Fatties program is yours, I merely offer possible misdirected advice...

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

[K_Dubb]

Rather than hide this fat problem behind closed doors and drawn curtains, we should attempt to fix that shit?

An admirably forthright stance!  By all means, let us fix that shit.  Vigorous motion is a salutary reminder of any jiggly parts -- I have been known to jump up and down in front of a mirror to inspect for pieces that move that should not move.

[albrecht]

An admirably forthright stance!  By all means, let us fix that shit.  Vigorous motion is a salutary reminder of any jiggly parts -- I have been known to jump up and down in front of a mirror to inspect for pieces that move that should not move.

And visit your local University Row, and get some Kappas, Tri Delts, or whatever sorority to mark your fatty portions with grease pencils and haze you until those are eliminated-you won't get a MRS degree, even a gay one, worth a darn being a fat cow!

[K_Dubb]

And visit your local University Row, and get some Kappas, Tri Delts, or whatever sorority to mark your fatty portions with grease pencils and haze you until those are eliminated-you won't get a MRS degree, even a gay one, worth a darn being a fat cow!

Yes, it is the great sorrow of my life that I never earned that degree, which is why I am reduced to trolling the many elderly homosexuals of bellgab for a sugar daddy.

I am sure we can count on you, in your capacity as Chief Justice, to reinstate the constitutionality of the formerly effective punishments that rely on public shaming such as stocks, the rail, and tar-and-feathers, as well as simply standing around hooting and pointing at the obese?

[albrecht]

Yes, it is the great sorrow of my life that I never earned that degree, which is why I am reduced to trolling the many elderly homosexuals of bellgab for a sugar daddy.

I am sure we can count on you, in your capacity as Chief Justice, to reinstate the constitutionality of the formerly effective punishments that rely on public shaming such as stocks, the rail, and tar-and-feathers, as well as simply standing around hooting and pointing at the obese?

I will cite, as a throw-away for some constituents, Foucault with regard to punishments physical vs imprisonment, though. But promote shame as a national priority. And guilt- but not white guilt way but older school! Redemption through guilt also! (This might also get S&M homos, Greens, and Emo crowd behind us, spun correctly, -will outsource this to you.)  We need to tread carefully. A Catholic (Roman),component might be needed. Again, I can't be involved with that, lest office of Law be besmirched.

[K_Dubb]

I will cite, as a throw-away for some constituents, Foucault with regard to punishments physical vs imprisonment, though. But promote shame as a national priority. And guilt- but not white guilt way but older school! Redemption through guilt also! (This might also get S&M homos, Greens, and Emo crowd behind us, spun correctly, -will outsource this to you.)  We need to tread carefully. A Catholic (Roman),component might be needed. Again, I can't be involved with that, lest office of Law be besmirched.

It is funny, in all the uproar over half of OK being returned to the Injuns I did a little reading on tribal courts which rely heavily on restitution and a sort of public shaming that comes from facing the victims of the crime, not just in an antiseptic court setting where they might read a statement, but to work out the details of punishment soliciting advice from "the community", elders, etc.  This goes back to the whole Modern/Postmodern/Authentic thing but I think ultimately, with all the focus on criminal-justice reform, the Modern, sterile, covert operation of justice might be on the way out in favor of more traditional "Authentic" practices, in a way that is both progressive and really sort of regressive.  Nobody is saying let perps walk; the solution may be closer to the old ways than you think.

[albrecht]

It is funny, in all the uproar over half of OK being returned to the Injuns I did a little reading on tribal courts which rely heavily on restitution and a sort of public shaming that comes from facing the victims of the crime, not just in an antiseptic court setting where they might read a statement, but to work out the details of punishment soliciting advice from "the community", elders, etc.  This goes back to the whole Modern/Postmodern/Authentic thing but I think ultimately, with all the focus on criminal-justice reform, the Modern, sterile, covert operation of justice might be on the way out in favor of more traditional "Authentic" practices, in a way that is both progressive and really sort of regressive.  Nobody is saying let perps walk; the solution may be closer to the old ways than you think.

Keep checking your six though. There are other Tribes who are, very, concerned with the Law,  and other things, Kimosabee. Would not like solutions. Bad word. We got to this back on track... need a media leak on oppo.

[paladin1991]

You feel intimidated?  I am sorry, for an "old war-horse" you seem pretty naggy;  more akin to a mare than the stallion you present yourself to be.

Perhaps, you would like some sex-reassignment surgery?  Or perhaps I could talk K-Dubb into "pushing in your plum" as it were, I will ask him to be gentle with you!

Please tell me, dear Pal, what shit of yours is it that we need to fix?

I will do the best I can until I take Office, so at best you will have to settle for friendly gestures and acts until then.  Once I have the FULL FORCE of the Office and all that will entail, I will see to it personally that some shit gets fixed.  Until that time, I think the official Make America Pate Again stance is NO WHINING.

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

My response was in answer to your attempt to intimidate me to 'fall in line' and  be a good little minion.  Your bullshit bidenesqe answer to my statement is beneath you.  If we are going to 'fix this shit' let's hear the platform of shit to be fixed.  And lets not start with calls to fix Rubini, that man has no balls and cannot be 'fixed.'

[AZZERAE]

It is the great sorrow of my life that I never earned that degree, which is why I am reduced to trolling the many elderly homosexuals of bellgab for a sugar daddy.

What qualifies one as a "sweathog"? A checklist of physical attributes/features would illustrate the point well.

[Jackstar]

Please tell me, dear Pal, what shit of yours is it that we need to fix?

If we are going to 'fix this shit' let's hear the platform of shit to be fixed.

Well, to start with, I'd like my phone returned. I'd like that now, please. Also two (2) A.C.M.E. robo-spines. The usual color. No faux fur.

all the uproar over half of OK being returned to the Injuns

Does this mean our weekly allowances of mescaline are going to be halved... or doubled? Asking for my hypothetical friend.

[K_Dubb]

What qualifies one as a "sweathog"? A checklist of physical attributes/features would illustrate the point well.

I don't have a checklist, unfortunately, since it is largely a matter of interpreting a silhouette.  Am I the lithe stalker of the savanna I was designed by God to be, approximating the international symbol for "man" that appears on the door of the baño, or do I look like something that might be on the menu, a ruminant perhaps or a garbage-eater like a pig that has managed to walk upright?  These creatures, when they have no natural enemies that require speed to evade, evolve large lumbering bodies to radiate the immense heat of digestion and huge flabby asses to pass the vast quantities of flatulence and stool they emit in great stinking heaps.  They look different and, fundamentally, smell different.  They are, effectively, a different species, no longer men.

I think we spend far too much time looking in the mirror or at photos to the point where our features become familiar and the visual tricks we use to deceive ourselves -- clothing, hats, arrangements of facial hair -- are right up front and at their most potent.  We should instead examine our naked (or nearly) shadows, which will never lie to us.  Is that the shadow of a predator, or of prey?

[pate]

Two hundred forty-seven, Make Dad Smile On Wednesday

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"OVER ARCHON" : "PLANK, DON'T RUN" : "TRIUMVIRATE ARCH"

Pal, I will address the following in order:

My response was in answer to your attempt to intimidate me to 'fall in line' and  be a good little minion.  Your bullshit bidenesqe answer to my statement is beneath you.  If we are going to 'fix this shit' let's hear the platform of shit to be fixed.  And lets not start with calls to fix Rubini, that man has no balls and cannot be 'fixed.'

You apparently have a problem with my COC;  if you wish to play with your COC:  I believe you meet all the Constitutional requirements to run for office on your own behalf.

You seem to do an awful lot of crying for a Marine, please define what "bidenesqe(sic)" means in your mind;  not following you there.

If you are actually able to read, I recommend starting here: https://bellgab.com/index.php?topic=13043.0 and reading through that in its entirety;  I have on my hand written list in front of me NO FEWER than 33 specific goals for the first 100 days mentioned among the pages the link above will guide you to, that list is by no means exhaustive:  do feel free to advise me on anything I may have left out?

Rubini is a Clown;  he is actually the Clownus Primus of the Make America Pate Again campaign:  First among equals, and I would be happy to add you to his division, as I see on another one of my lists that you have yet to declare what position (if any) you want in my administration.

That is all, you are dismissed.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

[Walks_At_Night]

Attention K_Dubb:

Just another reason why you should hang out in the Dietrich thread. Enjoy

[Jackstar]

Rubini is a Clown

... I thought I was Rubini? Whew, that is a relief to read. Carry on!

[K_Dubb]

Attention K_Dubb:

Just another reason why you should hang out in the Dietrich thread. Enjoy

That looks like @AZZERAE what is he doing by the side of the road like that ?!?!

[AZZERAE]

That looks like AZZERAE what is he doing by the side of the road like that ?!?!

So funny you say that! Here is an excerpt, from a post of mine, earlier today:

I've been living outta a suitcase, with my thumb in the wind and a bindle on my back for days. "Starving on park benches" (for my craft).

[K_Dubb]

So funny you say that! Here is an excerpt, from a post of mine, earlier today:

Oh dear.  If you must give it up, honey, do not find a fat man.  He will labor for eons with little to show for it, and is loath to leave without dessert.  A skinny man, on the other hand, is quick and tidy and usually good for multiple sales.

[pate]

Two hundred forty-eight, Thursday into Friday

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Tho hundred forty-nine, Friday (FSS Three Day Weekend, FFS)

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Income Tax, there is some shit I would dearly love to fix.  I think I will abolish it, and replace it with a tax on goods and services and collect that shit on a transactional basis.  Damn, that was easy as hell to fix!  We can discuss the percentage, and whether it will be the same for types of transactions;  Food may not be subject to tax, or taxed at a lower rate.  Perhaps prepared food is considered a luxury and has a higher tax rate, maybe certain things will be classified as luxuries:  Yachts, jewelery etc.  We can make that it all complicated and skim off the top of various line-items as indicated in order to fix that shit.

I particularly like the idea of firing all the fat-fucks that work at the IRS then we can proceed to live off of the Fat of The Land the way God intended us to.


https://youtu.be/AltjBNZOjek

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

[ItsOver]

Two hundred forty-eight, Thursday into Friday

Code Select Expand

Tho hundred forty-nine, Friday (FSS Three Day Weekend, FFS)

Code Select Expand

Income Tax, there is some shit I would dearly love to fix.  I think I will abolish it, and replace it with a tax on goods and services and collect that shit on a transactional basis.  Damn, that was easy as hell to fix!  We can discuss the percentage, and whether it will be the same for types of transactions;  Food may not be subject to tax, or taxed at a lower rate.  Perhaps prepared food is considered a luxury and has a higher tax rate, maybe certain things will be classified as luxuries:  Yachts, jewelery etc.  We can make that it all complicated and skim off the top of various line-items as indicated in order to fix that shit.

I particularly like the idea of firing all the fat-fucks that work at the IRS then we can proceed to live off of the Fat of The Land the way God intended us to.


https://youtu.be/AltjBNZOjek

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Booze tax.  For or against?  Asking for a friend.

[AZZERAE]

These creatures, when they have no natural enemies that require speed to evade, evolve large lumbering bodies to radiate the immense heat of digestion and huge flabby asses to pass the vast quantities of flatulence and stool they emit in great stinking heaps.

You know. You knnnowww!

[AZZERAE]

Oh dear.  If you must give it up, honey, do not find a fat man.  He will labor for eons with little to show for it, and is loath to leave without dessert. A skinny man, on the other hand, is quick and tidy and usually good for multiple sales.

Not to be too picky or anything, but can we switch out the "man" for a "woman"? I'm open minded but totally strait-laced in certain ways.

[pate]

Booze tax.  For or against?  Asking for a friend.

Didn't somebody already try that back in the day and it resulted in a Whiskey Rebellion?  I think it had to do that the area that all went down in was a barter economy, and Whiskey was the primary universally accepted specie of exchange.  When Uncle Sam decided he wanted his cut, he refused to accept tax payments in Whiskey and demanded US Currency.

I do not believe Booze should be taxed as a luxury, as often it is indicated as a treatment:  especially in cases where one has spent a significant amount of time and money trying to fix ones own Federal, State and Local tax shit.  Since most uses of Booze are medicinal in nature, and we want our people to be healthy perhaps Booze should be exempt, or taxed at a lower rate?

I think it would be a good idea to levy any Booze taxes at the Manufacturer level, say anyone who produces more than 10,000GAL(US) per annum must send to the White House an amount of the year's production run for the Strategic Beer Reserve (to include all forms of Booze: eau-de-vie, wines, beers, Root Beers &c).   To start, I think One Quarter of One Percent or a 0.25% of the yearly production would probably suffice.

Budwieser, Miller and other "Yard Beers" can probably be stockpiled as a Welfare type distribution to the "little people" to keep them voting to Make America Pate Again.

I am just spit-balling here, and if the Booze is imported, for instance Remy Martin VSOP, perhaps a minimum tax on the import in an amount to be no less than 10 Cases per year should be delivered to the White House, this of course will be in the interest of international bonhomie and I would use those as President to assist in the entertaining of Foreign Dignitaries.

Probably We should have a Tobacco Tax of a similar nature, we want to have a Strategic Cigar/Pipe Tobacco Reserve too.


https://youtu.be/9gtqcWA8ugU

And here I was thinking I would not fix much shit on this auspicious beginning of yet another Three Day Weekend!

A Good Friday indeed!

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"