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pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"

Started by pate, July 18, 2020, 04:06:34 PM

Three of the five below are the correct answers, you are invited to choose one. Just remember that the odds are in your flavor, but which is the favorite oddity?

Biden/Harris (D)
2 (7.7%)
pate/K_Dubb (aye)
7 (26.9%)
pate/K_Dubb (eye)
8 (30.8%)
pate/K_Dubb (I)
5 (19.2%)
Trump/Pence (R)
4 (15.4%)

Total Members Voted: 26

Voting closed: November 23, 2020, 09:01:44 PM

K_Dubb

Quote from: pate on August 07, 2020, 11:03:34 PM
I really do not relish the idea of hanging out with such grabby, grasping and possible nipple twisting folk...

I am very sorry that happened, sir.  I shall go back to being "Two-Beers".

WOTR

Quote from: pate on August 07, 2020, 08:20:29 AM
Good morning!  I think that is enough to give me something to think about while I fulfill my PFRDP Basic Lawn Maintenance duties today.
Far be it for me to question your acronym... But is it not Peoples Free Democratic Republic of pate (PFDRp) and not PERFDP? I know as unelected leader for life you can rename it at any time- I'm just needing the information to have my cartographers update our maps if necessary...

Jackstar

Quote from: pate on August 07, 2020, 11:03:34 PM
Jackstars' often inscrutable requests

Have you simply tried screwing twisting them? It's usually worked in the past.

pate

Quote from: SpaceMeowMaid on August 07, 2020, 11:20:17 PM
Seriously gotta get my life back on track and start selling dope again!

Although my warning to the dear Doctor seemed specific;  it was actually good advice about reading ahead...

Sour US Lee:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRRjvPxiv6c

Don't get me started about eggs and branes...

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"



pate

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 07, 2020, 11:27:01 PM
I am very sorry that happened, sir.  I shall go back to being "Two-Beers".

That missive in search of Poisonous Foreign Ideas was perhaps misdirected.

You return, in General unharmed, but as I ascertain much Wizened.

I hope nary a pretty hair on your head was greyed by the potential misuse of the Thyme Masheen behind yon Curtain which you were in no way directed to use at ANY COST in the fulfillment of said directive?  In any case;  greyed, wizened or learned I urge you to "fuh get ah bout" that last statement, and only contemplate in silent reverence the apparent Tapestry of a Trophy Stag standing in front of some Teutonic Castle that the Disney/Sony Corporation may hold certain trademarks to.  That movie is probably unavailable on Amazon at this time.

Apogees!  If we finally fix most of that shit, most of the burned books, cancelled movies and uncouth frivolities may again resurface their ugly heads.  Of course, a premium fee will be assessed on all collectors of such distasteful things;  but this being America, and we are endeavoring to Make it Pate Again the exclusive expenditure of multi-votes will of course gain a place in the lucrative market for purveyors and purchasors of such naughty objets d'arts.

I still have hope that there may be some sort of Federal Aids to the Micro-Breweries unfairly impacted by this whole COVID-19.5 nonsense.  I mean really, it was not well thought out.  Sure, masked mouths are not as susceptible to parabolic microphones, but to collapse the freaking planetary economy over a strictly local/national election cycle?

It is no wonder Putin allegedly makes outrageously obvious statements about air space incursions and the complete Armegeddon that would accompany such foolishness!  Was it on Hiroshima Day (06AUG) of all days that he made this outlandish, but thoroughly obvious, apparent and otherwise unsaid by civil folk announcement?

Do I live in an Alternate Clown Whirled?  Fuck Yeah, Putin.  If any bastard, to include you, lobs so much as a spit-ball over the OCONUS, CONUS or ANY ALLIED TERRITORY;  I will hand over the "Football" to paladin1991 with the codes entered and the "GO MUTHERFUCKER" button flashing bright red and FAST.

What he does with that is his bag;  I will be in the nearest bunker I can reach trying to figure my safest route back to the PFRDP...

Wow, that felt good.  I now enjoy speechifiying(sic).  I now fully authorize eMCee to use whatever he finds pertinent above in one of his epic rants, it sounds awesome to my imagined ear in his somewhat screeching, fishwifery and elegant voice.  That is in my mynd of course, perchance to a dram... With that dram in hand and a musical selection that will be reviewed soberly at a later thyme:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i29CTD1gNA4

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

pate

Quote from: WOTR on August 07, 2020, 11:31:08 PM
Far be it for me to question your acronym... But is it not Peoples Free Democratic Republic of pate (PFDRp) and not PERFDP? I know as unelected leader for life you can rename it at any time- I'm just needing the information to have my cartographers update our maps if necessary...

That place PFDERP, PERFDEP, DEPDUR< I like that, maybe tomorrow?| PFDRP or any of its splendiforous formulations should be treated like Groom Lake.  There but not identified as "51 Areas of pate" or "Do Not Aim The Family Atomics Hear?" or any of the other myriad perverse attempts at topological definition that the patian ideals would defeat.

Such open invitations to global armageddon are most often vulgar displays of power not in keeping with the Make America Pate Again ideals.  I find unstated threats much more persuasive as the weak of mind do not wreckage nigh them, and can be dealt with at softer display levels of ultimate power.  As to the stronger military minds worldwide, they find it is better to stand beside such awesome power than against it, this is always done in a tacit and unspoken manner as befits civil civilizations.  Or, at minimum it Seems To Me;  ever ready, vigilant and resting lightly on the trigger with both bon hommie(heh) and espirit du corpse!

I feel bagpipes are in order for the music:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3t8P1eqyvo

Ah, the Irish!  'tis up me'lads!

In short, WOTR.  The AFL(I)-CAN or any other foreign-ish military does not have the Need-To-Know clearances about semi-official, clerical or pejorative nomenclatures on such a perceived location.  A mere red-circled target would probably suffice...

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

pate

At this thyme I wish to administratively transfer Command HQ to another timezone.

Two hundred and one.  Saturday might be Friday, Probably not Sunday.  Three Day Weakened Hump Day, Perhaps"SPITZ FIREDUST"

This is just to keep the accountants busy fixing shit, Carrie Anne.

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

pate

Quote from: Jackstar on August 07, 2020, 11:36:58 PM
Have you simply tried screwing twisting them? It's usually worked in the past.

I guess, the alleged "Moron Neutralizer Beam" ended up turning those wee angelic folk into giant penii, after you sent the prototype back for Mark II visualization.

Granted some of those wee angelic folk were already giant dicks when used as test subjects for the beam weapon;  that was an artifact of their upbringing rather than their unique genetics:  to turn giant dicks into humongous(sic) dicks at the expense of gentle, kind and friendly dicks becoming largely, huge and/or giant dicks seems a design flaw.  How many useful "Hulks" were destroyed in the Mk II proving trials?

The Make America Pate Again campaign is tots about fixing shit.  With a very special and tender attention to retarded shit that needs fixing.  You would rather take away a cookie from a 'tard and destroy the quite useful subsequent rage and destruction of the cookie-less 'tard?

For myself, I would take the cookie away;  and place it a bit behind a political enemy then direct the 'tard missing delicious cookies' gaze towards what stands behind the 'tard and his/her/its ultimate goal.

Yours seems to be a path towards destruction;  mine is simple harnessing of simple power.

Mighty 'tard brigades, unhinged rageous folk bent on regaining missing cookies and slightly misdirected fools in search of a worthy end;  these I would have as the shock and awe troops that our political enemas must change their Depends in the night when awakened from slumberous contemplation of how to beguile these poor 'tards from their rightful dessert of cookies.

Think on it, Jackstar:  Sure you could take the cookie away from the 'tard;  twist it, crumble it or simply eat it in front of their rage filled eyes.  What if:  you left that sad stale, old and mushy cookie in their greedy hand and presented them with a fresh-baked, crisp and delicious cookie in your own?

The close-set furtive eyes would surely gaze in Envy at your simple, delicious and crispy holding...  that carrot better than any stick to lead them to the field of battle!

Of course, this is why the Moron Neutralizer Beam seemed a good project, if the 'tard got all "uppity" and decided that it would be far easier to defeat you instantly with 'tard rage for cookies...  Well, I do hope you see where I am going with this or I was most retarded in choosing you as my Chief of Internal SeekRuty?

I jape and jibe at you, my dear fiend!

Here, as an extra plum I shall create yet another For Official Campaign Use Only list that is just for yew:\//

"SOYLENT PURPLE HAMBURGLAR" : "OVER ARCHON"

I cross-reference this because I assign the 1st Clown (among equals), Clown Primus or the "RUBBY" to your organizational grouping.  Perhaps you know of my wish for an Official Cum-Dumpster in the campaign, and the selection I have made thereof?  Gently approach and use that one as is fitting, you and the "RUBBY" do not have to do it in person, and frankly, I don't really want to know of how the services of this Cum-Dumpster are acquired.  I only ask that it is done gently and with love.  I would not have that one abused in a manner that leaves any evidence of permanent injury.  I will leave the disposition of that to you and your new lackey, please do make use of any available flying-monkeys that seem suitable in your minds for the task given to your hands.

I have not said enough on this subject, but have had my say.  See to it that the particular shit in question is fixed.  Following is the best musical  accompaniment I could find on short notice:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hv46On2K7Sg

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"



K_Dubb

Quote from: pate on August 08, 2020, 12:57:59 AM
That missive in search of Poisonous Foreign Ideas was perhaps misdirected.

You return, in General unharmed, but as I ascertain much Wizened.

I hope nary a pretty hair on your head was greyed by the potential misuse of the Thyme Masheen behind yon Curtain which you were in no way directed to use at ANY COST in the fulfillment of said directive?  In any case;  greyed, wizened or learned I urge you to "fuh get ah bout" that last statement, and only contemplate in silent reverence the apparent Tapestry of a Trophy Stag standing in front of some Teutonic Castle that the Disney/Sony Corporation may hold certain trademarks to.  That movie is probably unavailable on Amazon at this time.

I am indeed much wizened and chastened and it is very good of you not to press charges.  I will devote my further attentions to baking for the Dog.

PATE/kdubb 2020
"It is a pleasure to serve.  Cookies."


pate

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 08, 2020, 07:34:52 AM
I am indeed much wizened and chastened and it is very good of you not to press charges.  I will devote my further attentions to baking for the Dog.

PATE/kdubb 2020
"It is a pleasure to serve.  Cookies."


I like this idea of baking for dogs.  Perhaps it could be incorporated into the new subsidiary arm of the Make America Pate Again campaign?  The dogs;  Hanz, Flip and Mongo, have recently started a little informal group they call the DLM movement.

Perhaps these treats you are making for dogs in general could be used to gain the support of the Dog Lives Matter movement?

I think the DLM movement would be a natural fit in the Make America Pate Again campaign!  I have other shit I am fixing right now, so maybe you could add the seduction of the DLM to our cause to your many other Dog related responsibilities?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gvDIz9GhhmA

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve, as you say:  Cookies!

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

pate

Quote from: Jackstar on August 08, 2020, 08:02:47 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PS0UDntyJIY


HOBO MURDER HOUSE

That is an excellent song, I have an appropriate list for it.

Speaking of lists and these new digs you have found:  I have a small list of some rather elite individuals that I believe may be enlightened by a visit to this new HOUSE of yours.  Do you think there will be suitable accommodations for them there?

I assure you, these will be folks you will await in eager anticipation for.

Perhaps I have said too much?

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Big Chicken

Prophet pate,

The Big Chicken has a confession to make.  Big Chicken made a post earlier this evening but deleted it as it could have been misconstrued as offensive.
May His Magnificence, pate the Great forgive me.   :'(

pate

Quote from: Big Chicken on August 08, 2020, 08:19:28 PM
Prophet pate,

The Big Chicken has a confession to make.  Big Chicken made a post earlier this evening but deleted it as it could have been misconstrued as offensive.
May His Magnificence, pate the Great forgive me.   :'(

Ah, I usually don't take offense at things, unless they seem clearly malignant, a genuine attempt to wound or other heinous thing.  I probably would have found it to be funny, but perhaps this will be unknowable for me.  Rest your uneasy mind.  It is very good to see you, by the way.  I was becoming worried that you had perhaps fallen to some unbeliever's knife in your back or other misfortune.

You must have some interesting stories to account for your long absence?  I would hear of them!

Anticipation!

I think you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"



K_Dubb

Quote from: pate on August 08, 2020, 05:09:20 PM
I like this idea of baking for dogs.  Perhaps it could be incorporated into the new subsidiary arm of the Make America Pate Again campaign?  The dogs;  Hanz, Flip and Mongo, have recently started a little informal group they call the DLM movement.

Perhaps these treats you are making for dogs in general could be used to gain the support of the Dog Lives Matter movement?

I think the DLM movement would be a natural fit in the Make America Pate Again campaign!  I have other shit I am fixing right now, so maybe you could add the seduction of the DLM to our cause to your many other Dog related responsibilities?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gvDIz9GhhmA

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve, as you say:  Cookies!

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"


I am on it, boss!  I mean, sir.


pate

Two hundred two, FSS THREE DAY WEEKEND FFS, Sunday"JEWELED ALIEN" : "SOYLENT PURPLE HAMBURGLAR" : "OVER ARCHON" : "TRIUMVERATE ARCH"

Quote from: SpaceMeowMaid on August 09, 2020, 03:43:17 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eh_j9xrwUb0

Quote from: SpaceMeowMaid on August 09, 2020, 03:46:32 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32hUIGnMpOY

The second wonderful song (eye) have already noted, and (I) concur that it belongs on an appropriate list.  This first, is good but doesn't really fit with the second so it should go on another list. I am loathe to create a third list specifically for music?  Perhaps individuals may create their own individually curated list.  This seems a good fix for the music shit, and is in keeping with the concept of the holy three which I note rhymes with Holy See!  We shall look upon this notional third musical list later, perhaps for dessert?

Well done, you misbegotten fishwife!  Now, onto the shit I logged into fix in the first place;  this concerns you, my dear:

Quote from: SpaceMeowMaid on July 19, 2020, 03:46:40 AM
Did someone say moobs? Here's my vote for Celebrity Moobs. And this is the thing that sings Pink...  [attachment=1]

I literally had no freaking idea how, what or where you might be best placed, happy and effective within the organization when I first read that shit.  (eye) believe I had to do a triple-take and then find some Formula 409, a roll of paper towels and a slightly moistened sponge with which to clean up the coffee mess...  I digress, that coffee shit is unimportant and has been fixed already.

It was redeyely apparent that it would ultimately be somewhere very special near the top of a fecund, middle-aged and strong plum tree that must necessarily have a perfectly ripened fruit ready to fall into the slightest touch by a wondering hand reaching for the tasty treat.  I provisionally placed you into the ad-hoc group of campaign workers at that time while I Pondered possibilities (four eyes in the word "possibilities," huh.)

You are already an honorary high-caliber individual by my decree, you very may well be an actual high-caliber individual in the wild, this I do not know for certain but I like to leave mysterious boxes with an uncertain feline inside shut.  The oft overlooked third possibility that the feline in question is no longer inside is frightening in the inevitable implications of that surprising test result!  I am certain you take my meaning on this.  If not, do ask JackStar, he will enlighten you.

You and I have been having an enlightened side-bar discussion on Quests elsewhere, what I am about to propose comes in part from a Dream I had last night while on a small personal quest of my own:

Would you be interested in being re-assigned to JackStar's private security detail?  Specifically to provide some overwatch capability for my shirtless brother-in-arms K_Dubb?  This recent asteroid crisis disturbed me, as in the process of fixing that shit I found that I have been lax in tending to his personal security needs.  That particular shit needs fixing, K_Dubb must survive to the conclusion of the first 100 days of Making America Pate Again plan or the future of my beloved PFDRP becomes murky, uncertain and fearful.

K_Dubb was the first official pick (disregard my prior personal selection for an other candidate of a nature that does not require anything other than a strictly personal ManDate from myself, but would have the highest of honors at my feast table) for the campaign and ultimate Administration resultant thereof (have Jack parse and analyze this entire sentence please, TIA).

This offer to you is intentionally vague, and to complete the triad of Music in this post (which marks very special instructions clearly in keeping with official CommSec):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60YYQZhBae0

The lyrics of which, while quite incomprehensible to my ears;  if found in written form may assist in the decision I place before you at the banquet table with its corresponding, delicious and nourishing plum.

I would not have waterbourne threats, tsunamis or floods endanger this principal in need of many-layered protection.

I may have said to much, but this is the peril inherent to the open communication system when messages of delicate, indelicate or perhaps foolish natures must be transmitted.

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"




Juan

President Pate,
It occurs to me that the US is missing a large revenue opportunity. Area 51 should be converted into and amusement park, and people should be charged large fees for rides in the Roswell UFO that’s stored there.

pate

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 09, 2020, 10:50:14 AM
I am on it, boss!  I mean, sir.



Aw, shucks K_Dubb, you may use any honorific you wish!  "Boss", "Sir" and/or "Big Dick" are all acceptable among the many I would never take offense from if uttered in my presence by you.  No sweatting petty things, only petting of sweaty things I always say!  I stole that from somewhere long ago.  It is a brilliant motto that I have added to my sometimes ill-gained personal treasure pile.

You are "on" a great many things, your mind must be indeed as powerful as I imagined to carry such heavy, myriad and constitutionally increasing weights.  Perhaps I could have worded that last better, the Idea is there.  IF it pleases you, by all means, fix that shit.  I still need a Cyrano to my Bergerac, perhaps only for mirthful purposes to assist in the fulfillment of the Book of Laughter?

This brings me, in a circumspect manner as is frequent with the wisdom that your mouth/fingers produce (no homo) to another thing:

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 09, 2020, 11:27:52 AM
I think Barr fixed it by pulling back.  Since the Feds disengaged the protesters are back annoying their local police and squabbling among themselves, which is kind of normal for Portland in the summer and attracts little nationwide attention.  Offering a couple hundred Feds as an opponent united the various disorganized anti-government groups against a common enemy which produced the spectacular results you saw.  Just election-year fodder to convince the yokels the country was going to hell.  They will put the elk back once it starts raining again, probably.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Protests_in_Portland,_Oregon

But I am more interested in this pushup contest!

This reminds me that I am lax in attacking my other political enemy (but by no means personal enemy);  the current sitting President, whom I must needs inevitably, convivially and effortlessly defeat.  As President-to-be it is my job to defeat all future PresidAin'ts that stand foolishly against me.

The response to the COVID-19.5/Bureau of Land Management "happening" in Portland, among other places, seems silly to me.  There are many Courses Of Action one could take in response.  History will right the one that has occurred when the time for the writing final chapters of such nonsense are concluded.  I ramble, in short I have been waiting for some thyme for the correct, apropos and convenient moment to make a statement, pontifipate or otherwise address this.  Thank you for finally rewarding my patience in thus.

If I were entrusted to Run the Game on Fixing this Shit:  I would long ago, as an opening bid, have Federally recognized the independence movement and sent Military forces immediately to secure the border surrounding the area in question.  I might have attempted to resurrect the defunct SEATO coalition to provide some international gravitas to the maneuver if it was diplomatically feasible.  Certainly, if I had been in office for four long years I would hope to have successfully found twelve at minimum signatory nations to facilitate this before any silly "happenings" occurred.

The recognition of perhaps American Samoa as an independent protectorate of the USA with membership in the new SEATO perhaps?  If only Uncle Duke would join our ranks as Walks_At_Night had recommended early on...  Perchance to dream, I digress.  SEATO is effectively a "straw-man," in this debate and while effective as illustration is ephemeral, fantasy and moot as to the actual Ordering of Days that occurred under Trumps command.

This is international gamesmanship on the order of 5D Go, and not simply a game of 4D Chess, however.  I do not know of anyone, outside of myself that has even begun at a novice and exploratory level to seize mastery of such a Really Fun Game.

To continue with my rather long winded point:

Now the ping-pong ball is in the rebellious side of the court.  Do they back down and return to the USA?  Do they accept my generous offer peacefully with the border I grant them?  Do they get Greedy and try to make territorial gains?

Do they realize I have plans in place for all three of those moves?  Do they realize that I realize that my first move was not the only COA available?

Walls can quickly be constructed by the Army Corps of Engineers, this is fact, they may be tasked with doing so under hostile conditions.  Often the preference is to consruct walls, bridges or other fatal-funnels in a peaceful and calm manner.

Diplomatic status, to include invitation to treaties such as NAFTA can be used either as a stick or carrot;  this is fact.  I note that the notional "autonomous zone" has little in notional national asessts, this is fact.

This also is fact;  this rebellious autonomous zone was never presented with my purely notional fix to their shit to even attempt their second (or first depending on individual point-of-view) move in this hot potato game of 5D Go.

If my point is not readily apparent hear to anyone following along at home, I will try my best to arrange for those citizenship and transport to Australia during my first 100 days.

I think I have said enough on this, perhaps too much.  I do not wish to telegraph intentions in the clear to my political enemies any further at this time.  'Ware the Eggs of Easter that may be Rotten, (especially if hidden and still un-found amonst the vast piles of Danegeld).

Thank you in advance for your consideration.  It will be an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

 

pate

Quote from: Juan on August 09, 2020, 01:35:15 PM
President Pate,
It occurs to me that the US is missing a large revenue opportunity. Area 51 should be converted into and amusement park, and people should be charged large fees for rides in the Roswell UFO that’s stored there.

AG Juan, I like this idea!  It is Federal Military Reserve area, and thus under our complete jurisdictional control.  Perhaps as a plum reserved only for current, prior and initial members of our vast Military?

I would know if there were any wild game suitable for sporting pursuit there?  The pursuit of which aids in the maintenance of marksmanship, outdoor survival skill-sets or even surveillance skills!  Wunderbar!  I imagine irrigation, planting and maintenance of suitable forage for game to include soybean, corn and other suitable crops would be indicated if not already present.

This would of course present a vast opportunity for black-budget boondoggle that could be readily skimmed from as needed.  Think of the cost of the infrastructure!

Yes, this would truly assist in the Making of America Pate Again.  Well done, sir!  As always additional plums are available as Acts Merit, do help yourself!

I wish to formally add the creation of the "Area 51 Amusement Park and Military Hunting Reserve" to the official Make America Pate Again campaign platform.

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"
     

K_Dubb

Quote from: pate on August 09, 2020, 02:22:41 PM
Aw, shucks K_Dubb, you may use any honorific you wish!  "Boss", "Sir" and/or "Big Dick" are all acceptable among the many I would never take offense from if uttered in my presence by you.  No sweatting petty things, only petting of sweaty things I always say!  I stole that from somewhere long ago.  It is a brilliant motto that I have added to my sometimes ill-gained personal treasure pile.

You are "on" a great many things, your mind must be indeed as powerful as I imagined to carry such heavy, myriad and constitutionally increasing weights.  Perhaps I could have worded that last better, the Idea is there.  IF it pleases you, by all means, fix that shit.  I still need a Cyrano to my Bergerac, perhaps only for mirthful purposes to assist in the fulfillment of the Book of Laughter?

This brings me, in a circumspect manner as is frequent with the wisdom that your mouth/fingers produce (no homo) to another thing:

This reminds me that I am lax in attacking my other political enemy (but by no means personal enemy);  the current sitting President, whom I must needs inevitably, convivially and effortlessly defeat.  As President-to-be it is my job to defeat all future PresidAin'ts that stand foolishly against me.

The response to the COVID-19.5/Bureau of Land Management "happening" in Portland, among other places, seems silly to me.  There are many Courses Of Action one could take in response.  History will right the one that has occurred when the time for the writing final chapters of such nonsense are concluded.  I ramble, in short I have been waiting for some thyme for the correct, apropos and convenient moment to make a statement, pontifipate or otherwise address this.  Thank you for finally rewarding my patience in thus.

If I were entrusted to Run the Game on Fixing this Shit:  I would long ago, as an opening bid, have Federally recognized the independence movement and sent Military forces immediately to secure the border surrounding the area in question.  I might have attempted to resurrect the defunct SEATO coalition to provide some international gravitas to the maneuver if it was diplomatically feasible.  Certainly, if I had been in office for four long years I would hope to have successfully found twelve at minimum signatory nations to facilitate this before any silly "happenings" occurred.

The recognition of perhaps American Samoa as an independent protectorate of the USA with membership in the new SEATO perhaps?  If only Uncle Duke would join our ranks as Walks_At_Night had recommended early on...  Perchance to dream, I digress.  SEATO is effectively a "straw-man," in this debate and while effective as illustration is ephemeral, fantasy and moot as to the actual Ordering of Days that occurred under Trumps command.

This is international gamesmanship on the order of 5D Go, and not simply a game of 4D Chess, however.  I do not know of anyone, outside of myself that has even begun at a novice and exploratory level to seize mastery of such a Really Fun Game.

To continue with my rather long winded point:

Now the ping-pong ball is in the rebellious side of the court.  Do they back down and return to the USA?  Do they accept my generous offer peacefully with the border I grant them?  Do they get Greedy and try to make territorial gains?

Do they realize I have plans in place for all three of those moves?  Do they realize that I realize that my first move was not the only COA available?

Walls can quickly be constructed by the Army Corps of Engineers, this is fact, they may be tasked with doing so under hostile conditions.  Often the preference is to consruct walls, bridges or other fatal-funnels in a peaceful and calm manner.

Diplomatic status, to include invitation to treaties such as NAFTA can be used either as a stick or carrot;  this is fact.  I note that the notional "autonomous zone" has little in notional national asessts, this is fact.

This also is fact;  this rebellious autonomous zone was never presented with my purely notional fix to their shit to even attempt their second (or first depending on individual point-of-view) move in this hot potato game of 5D Go.

If my point is not readily apparent hear to anyone following along at home, I will try my best to arrange for those citizenship and transport to Australia during my first 100 days.

I think I have said enough on this, perhaps too much.  I do not wish to telegraph intentions in the clear to my political enemies any further at this time.  'Ware the Eggs of Easter that may be Rotten, (especially if hidden and still un-found amonst the vast piles of Danegeld).

Thank you in advance for your consideration.  It will be an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"



Dear sir,

I should be sorry to lose that much highly energetic human capital to breakaway states, in this case capital which is mostly young, fit, and displays a cheerful inclination to take its shirt off and play instruments. 


K_Dubb

Quote from: pate on August 09, 2020, 02:22:41 PM
I still need a Cyrano to my Bergerac, perhaps only for mirthful purposes to assist in the fulfillment of the Book of Laughter?

:P

paladin1991

Quote from: Corona Kitty on August 06, 2020, 07:08:57 PM
Hey K-Dubb,


Maybe you have an answer to this but does Rubini seem like a homosexual to you?

Is there an appropriate term for gay older men?

I think you just call them 'daddy.'

pate

Two hundred three, Monday"PLANK, DON'T RUN" : "SOYLENT PURPLE HAMBURGLAR" : "JEWELED ALIEN" : "TRIUMVIRATE ARCH"

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 09, 2020, 11:07:43 PM
:P

   
"Roz is a big old meanie don't @me whatever you do"

I cannot in good conscience change the official campaign motto to that phrase.  The meaning  of it is unclear to me.  I have no way of sending her after anyone.  I do not think she can be compelled to do anything she does not wish to do, and would have it no other way.

In any case, I decided to briefly revisit the legend of Cyrano de Bergerac via the Wikipedia page (I know, trust nothing you read there) and it inspired quite a few new entries that will need to be catalogued in the Book of Laughter.  I recommend that to any reader that has a truly patian sense of humor, it is a pretty good read.  Never mind that, apparently this is one of the many things I once knew of but had to remind myself about...

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 09, 2020, 11:01:20 PM
Dear sir,

I should be sorry to lose that much highly energetic human capital to breakaway states, in this case capital which is mostly young, fit, and displays a cheerful inclination to take its shirt off and play instruments.

Don't be so short-sighted!

The highly energetic human capital "lost" by the manner of treatment I would notionally impose is an essentially land-locked territory contained entirely within the contiguous United States.  They have no national assets of their own, so expect mass migration of a significant portion of the newly minted citizens of this notional Autonomous Zone to greener pastures when the necessary Export Duties from the United States to Foreign States are levied at the border.  What little they have in the way of Exports of their own can subsequently be subject to Import Duties on entry into the United States from Foreign States.  I do not think one needs even a Minor in Economics to see the inevitable outcome:  these "highly energetic human capital" units will quickly by either by Legal or Illegal immigration attempt to gain residence in the United States.

These impoverished units of "energetic human capital" will be quite pliable when presented with well laid-out feast tables, tasty plums and lucrative piles of Danegeld possessed by a one-time President of Vice that has ascended to Presidential Primacy after a suitable 100-day window!

You display a fine hand at manipulating thought symbols in both poetry and music.  It would seem to me that you could grasp, however lightly, similar manipulations of thought symbols in the Mathematical and Accounting worlds, much to your favor;  how ever distasteful they may seem!

I am sure you will see the wisdom in this, K_Dubb!  Winston Churchill (of whom there is a small statuary nearby to the PFRDP, see below) once said something along the lines of "If you are young and not liberal, you have no heart;  if you are old and not conservative, you have no brain."  My paraphrasing of his words may not be as eloquent as the original statement he made, but the message is clear.  You must grow old eventually, K_Dubb, at least to the appropriate age mandated by the Constitution, whatever that is?  If your birth certificate says you are of a certain age that is not any longer youthful, we must fix that shit?  Or so it seems to me...

Haha, Carry On K_Dubb, do as you wish.  We can always amend the Constitution during the first 100 days!  Haha.  Ah, the picture I promised of old Winnie-Pooh:


"Married Love"

I return to Pondering...

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"





SpaceMeowMaid

Quote from: pate on August 09, 2020, 01:13:53 PM
Two hundred two, FSS THREE DAY WEEKEND FFS, Sunday"JEWELED ALIEN" : "SOYLENT PURPLE HAMBURGLAR" : "OVER ARCHON" : "TRIUMVERATE ARCH"



Well done, my dear:



It was redeyely apparent that it would ultimately be somewhere very special near the top of a fecund, middle-aged and strong plum tree that must necessarily have a perfectly ripened fruit ready to fall into the slightest touch by a wondering hand reaching for the tasty treat.  I provisionally placed you into the ad-hoc group of campaign workers at that time while I Pondered possibilities (four eyes in the word "possibilities," huh.)



You and I have been having an enlightened side-bar discussion on Quests elsewhere, what I am about to propose comes in part from a Dream I had last night while on a small personal quest of my own:

Would you be interested in being re-assigned to JackStar's private security detail?  Specifically to provide some overwatch capability for my shirtless brother-in-arms K_Dubb?  This recent asteroid crisis disturbed me, as in the process of fixing that shit I found that I have been lax in tending to his personal security needs.  That particular shit needs fixing, K_Dubb must survive to the conclusion of the first 100 days of Making America Pate Again plan or the future of my beloved PFDRP becomes murky, uncertain and fearful.

K_Dubb was the first official pick (disregard my prior personal selection for an other candidate of a nature that does not require anything other than a strictly personal ManDate from myself, but would have the highest of honors at my feast table) for the campaign and ultimate Administration resultant thereof (have Jack parse and analyze this entire sentence please, TIA).

This offer to you is intentionally vague, and to complete the triad of Music in this post (which marks very special instructions clearly in keeping with official CommSec):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60YYQZhBae0

The lyrics of which, while quite incomprehensible to my ears;  if found in written form may assist in the decision I place before you at the banquet table with its corresponding, delicious and nourishing plum.

I would not have waterbourne threats, tsunamis or floods endanger this principal in need of many-layered protection.

I may have said to much, but this is the peril inherent to the open communication system when messages of delicate, indelicate or perhaps foolish natures must be transmitted.

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyNMxui6sh4


I love Jackstar. I don't think I am the right choice for his body guard though, exactly... I am definitely Valkyrie and Mermaid, and completely in love with him... But he is really upsetting me lately and I might have to tie him up and teach him some things, like manners!

K_Dubb

Quote from: pate on August 10, 2020, 12:07:22 AM
Two hundred three, Monday"PLANK, DON'T RUN" : "SOYLENT PURPLE HAMBURGLAR" : "JEWELED ALIEN" : "TRIUMVIRATE ARCH"

   
"Roz is a big old meanie don't @me whatever you do"

I cannot in good conscience change the official campaign motto to that phrase.  The meaning  of it is unclear to me.  I have no way of sending her after anyone.  I do not think she can be compelled to do anything she does not wish to do, and would have it no other way.


Dear sir,

I am doing my best to advance your suit but it is difficult when you do not apprehend my subtle and curious motions.  Did not the lady in question promise to return whenever I said something mean?  If that is not an invitation to fill the air with howling deprecations, I do not know what it is!

Consider, however, that this promise came from the same inscrutable source that teased a survey of the Great British Bake-Off when she first opened the shop -- I withdraw my powerful memory from its concealment only under duress, since I would have preferred her to continue believing herself to be the sole possessor of that faculty.  Of course, it is all in the game for her.

We are conditioned to pass over this sort of gamesmanship -- really, the  most charitable appraisal of what, under harsher lighting, might appear as out-and-out fraud -- with nary a blush as the creatures themselves are so charming, but in the spirit of rectitude I think it is only just that she explain herself.

We are playing a trophy tarpon on the most gossamer of tests, and I fear I have snapped the line.

Jackstar

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 10, 2020, 10:24:31 AM
We are playing a trophy tarpon on the most gossamer of tests, and I fear I have snapped the line.

You know your shit is straight-up OG killa when Jackstar has to Google one of your nouns. Kudos.


Quote from: K_Dubb on August 10, 2020, 10:24:31 AM
I withdraw my powerful memory from its concealment only under duress, since I would have preferred her to continue believing herself to be the sole possessor of that faculty.  Of course, it is all in the game for her.

Ignorance is truly bliss.


Quote from: K_Dubb on August 10, 2020, 10:24:31 AM
We are conditioned to pass over this sort of gamesmanship -- really, the  most charitable appraisal of what, under harsher lighting, might appear as out-and-out fraud -- with nary a blush as the creatures themselves are so charming, but in the spirit of rectitude I think it is only just that she explain herself.

At this point, it could make a lot of difference.

It won't.

However, the spirit of justice remains attendant. Protocol demands further analysis and quality lab time is legitimately hard to come by these days. Going through standard motions in exhaustive detail would develop research skills for all concerned and ensure continuity of governance in all the most unlikely of events.

I've already experienced three unlikely events this morning and so I'm proceeding under accepted practices as per local norms. I'm not tracking the 8/8 line, this year once again for what actually seems like the 17th year in a row, it cannot be said I don't know my role today.


Quote from: JackstarI don't know my role today."

There's a fourth one now. I'm hungry, positively famished, breakfast isn't on me, but you can watch me eat.

paladin1991

I'm growing bored.  Is there a tactical nuke strike in the offing, or what?

Juan

Where would you like one?  I’ll check the legalities.

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