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pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"

Started by pate, July 18, 2020, 04:06:34 PM

Three of the five below are the correct answers, you are invited to choose one. Just remember that the odds are in your flavor, but which is the favorite oddity?

Biden/Harris (D)
2 (7.7%)
pate/K_Dubb (aye)
7 (26.9%)
pate/K_Dubb (eye)
8 (30.8%)
pate/K_Dubb (I)
5 (19.2%)
Trump/Pence (R)
4 (15.4%)

Total Members Voted: 26

Voting closed: November 23, 2020, 09:01:44 PM

Jackstar

Quote from: pate on July 20, 2020, 08:34:48 PM
As Jaskstar asked me yesterday "I this your final answer?"

The more my brand is vandalized, the more I become who I truly am.

WOTR

Quote from: Walks_At_Night on July 20, 2020, 12:14:17 PM
I would defer that to POTUS, VEEP and the Big Chicken.  I believe he mentioned a "New Inquisition"





pate

I would like to remind everyone that I put the "pate" in "Patriotic."

That is all, Carry on!!!

Thank you in advance.  It is a pleasure to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

ShayP

Quote from: pate on July 20, 2020, 01:45:45 PM
Welcome, aboard.  Now fix that shit!

I am very excited, if I understand you correctly, to have you with us as we fix some shit.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit."


Big Chicken

President To Be Pate,

The Big Chicken has just finished devouring a small pig for breakfast and will now be hitting the road in the 1975 Cadillac Chicken Mobile to lay eyes on the proposed site for New Jerusalem. The proposed location was determined after many hours of scouring maps for a suitable location.



The 8-Track will be fired up!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDxAVEscOmA

Kidnostad3

Quote from: pate on July 21, 2020, 04:41:53 AM
I would like to remind everyone that I put the "pate" in "Patriotic."

That is all, Carry on!!!

Thank you in advance.  It is a pleasure to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"


Yeah, but who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong?

K_Dubb

Quote from: pate on July 20, 2020, 08:34:48 PM
Brother K_Dubb?   I specifically said the betrayals &c, are to begin only after the first 100 days initiative.  Why does your heart falter?  Is it the Work before us, yes difficult;  but so is walking 350 pounds of moving canine on 12 legs.  Hans, Mongo and Flip of course are absolutely delighted at the prospect.  Ah, the fickleness of the Ute!

Wait a second, if you wish to identify as a Ute and take Chief Dog-Walker as your new name that is cool too, I guess.

If it is the Constitutional age requirement for Vice-President, why, it just occurred to me that WE CAN FIX THAT SHIT!  Please tell me what troubles your heart, maybe Big Chicken can help counsel you in these difficult times.

I would hate for the official Make America Pate Again campaign BellGab/bellchan account signature line be changed to:While I frantically search for a more suitable replacement at the 11th hour!  Think of the optics.

As Jaskstar asked me yesterday "I this your final answer?"

I'd like to ask everybody aboard to help me fix this latest campaign crisis shit;  there are so many other important things that critically need fixing!

I am glad that the PMs functionality has not yet been restored and this minor dispute is out in the open.  That is the kind of clear and crystalline quality transparency all my people can expect as we Make America Pate Again!

Let's fix this shit, immediately.  It really hits me in the feelz, yo!

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"


Oh dear pate it was a simple misunderstanding!  I thought whoozit's zeal to convert the fatties from their self-destructive sugar-worship exceeded my own, but he was just quoting his cookie.  I will gladly take up the second fiddle again, and play as best I might.

I will not let you down, sir, though I may have to walk the dogs one at a time.

whoozit

Quote from: K_Dubb on July 21, 2020, 11:46:39 AM
Oh dear pate it was a simple misunderstanding!  I thought whoozit's zeal to convert the fatties from their self-destructive sugar-worship exceeded my own, but he was just quoting his cookie.  I will gladly take up the second fiddle again, and play as best I might.

I will not let you down, sir, though I may have to walk the dogs one at a time.
It is good advice to most, just not to me.  I’m not afraid of having the tough conversations.  Please reconsider your reconsideration.

paladin1991

Quote from: pate on July 18, 2020, 07:39:20 PM
True warriors like paladin1991 are always welcome to the Make America Pate Again banquet table!  Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives, Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, Federal Communications Commission, Marine Corps Commandant, Federal Bureau of Investigation, Central Intelligence Agency, Special Operations Command;  the list of suitable posts for my pal is long.  There are many seats left at the table;  hell if he wants a nice tropical gig Marine Corps Base Hawaii might benefit from his wise leadership?  He has only to ask, and it will be his.  I can only imagine the herculean efforts paladin1991 could make with us on all the shit that needs fixing!  I would be proud to have him aboard.  Few Presidential candidates have had people of his high-caliber on their teams, this is an exciting time with adventures on the horizon.

What do you say paladin1991, do you want to help us fix this shit?  I would be honored if you joined us, we have a lot of shit to fix.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"


MY Brothers.  I am humbled at the call.  And I respond, ''If not me, then who?"  I am compelled by the power of Christ to accept all the power that you would invest in me. 
It's time to 'fix this shit.'  Jackstar, fire up some coffee.  Kdubb, bake me something sweet and savory.  Chefist, you .... you... stay the fuck out of the way.  FDR, start rolling in your grave.  Females, begin ovulating, and get me some landing strips!  Stat!    Let's get those trains rolling on time.  No, SloJo, no!  Not 'pull a train' it's trains running on time.  It's a thing. Pass the word to the ROC and India that we have their backs and now is the time to coordinate Operation Kashmiri Eggroll.  Get me Israel, tell them that the Iranians said gefelte fish sandwiches are for shit.  And we stand back and watch the nuclear shit fly.   
I think that's about all we can reasonably expect in the next 12 hours.  Annnnnd, where is my fucking coffee, Jackstar?

K_Dubb

Quote from: whoozit on July 21, 2020, 11:50:39 AM
It is good advice to most, just not to me.  I’m not afraid of having the tough conversations.  Please reconsider your reconsideration.

Ok 350 lbs. of dog might require two Veeps anyway.  Beer-drinking duties to be similarly divided -- around here they call me "Two-Beers".

K_Dubb

Quote from: paladin1991 on July 21, 2020, 11:59:59 AM
Kdubb, bake me something sweet and savory.

Point of order: do you prefer "Yes, Sir!" or "Aye-aye, Sir!"?

pate

That is good news K_Dubb, I was fearful how the current Terrible Tuesday was going to go!

Moving onto other shit to fix, I note that as the originator of this Campaign thread I am able apparently to conduct a straw poll.

I think I need some one to fix that shit for me, or at least advise me.  My current idea is to simply list the tickets in alphabetical order.   Is the field settled enough for this yet, if it is a permanent poll for this thread?  I am loathe to press buttons of which I have little understanding of their results, but sometimes do so anyway.  This "Add Poll" button would be so much more tempting if it were bright red and flashing...

Perhaps, I need an official Campaign Manager to seek out and persuade the individual best qualified to fix this minor issue for me.  I have not recently heard what the current standings are in the polls.  Especially, my galactic standings?  I did not know that such information was available, perhaps I don't need to know that.  According to Jackstar the entire GALAXY follows this process?  I am quickly becoming lost at sea, hear.

I assume that once created that it is permanent;  I am completely unfamiliar with this "polling" concept.  Generally, I vote for myself, as everyone should do.  In most cases a vote for "pate" is a pretty safe bet, as I am Mostly Harmless, mostly.

Were I to press the "Add Poll" button, which I am sorely tempted to do,  I would arrange it thus:

Quote
Biden/????  2020
pate/K_Dubb 2020
Trump/Pence 2020

with a poll closing time at midnight, election day.

Has Biden chosen his running mate yet?  I assume Trump is keeping his current Veep.

I have already fixed a few things today:  Coffee, pickles and a washing machine chief among them.   This is indeed a Terrible Tuesday.  I believe, I will add Terrible Tuesdays to the list of things to fix.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Jackstar

Quote from: pate on July 21, 2020, 12:23:18 PM
I think I need some one to fix that shit for me, or at least advise me.

It's a trick. Get an ax.


Quote from: pate on July 21, 2020, 12:23:18 PM
my galactic standings?  I did not know that such information was available, perhaps I don't need to know that.  According to Jackstar the entire GALAXY follows this process?  I am quickly becoming lost at sea, hear.

Essentially every advanced civilization knows the use of an ax--or they don't stay advanced very long.

These are interesting times indeed. The Galaxy is not alone. Neither are you. What? You'll be all right.

pate

Quote from: paladin1991 on July 21, 2020, 11:59:59 AM
MY Brothers.  I am humbled at the call.  And I respond, ''If not me, then who?"  I am compelled by the power of Christ to accept all the power that you would invest in me. 
It's time to 'fix this shit.'  Jackstar, fire up some coffee.  Kdubb, bake me something sweet and savory.  Chefist, you .... you... stay the fuck out of the way.  FDR, start rolling in your grave.  Females, begin ovulating, and get me some landing strips!  Stat!    Let's get those trains rolling on time.  No, SloJo, no!  Not 'pull a train' it's trains running on time.  It's a thing. Pass the word to the ROC and India that we have their backs and now is the time to coordinate Operation Kashmiri Eggroll.  Get me Israel, tell them that the Iranians said gefelte fish sandwiches are for shit.  And we stand back and watch the nuclear shit fly.   
I think that's about all we can reasonably expect in the next 12 hours.  Annnnnd, where is my fucking coffee, Jackstar?

You see, this isn't a Terrible Tuesday at all!  This is wonderful.  Paladin1991!  This makes my day, welcome aboard!

If we ever run out of shit to fix, you can break some shit for us all!  Marines are really good at breaking things when needed.

I am happy to see yet another high-caliber individual on board!  Salut!

So what is the plum-post you want?  Marine Corps Commandant?  MCBH post commander?  That one sounds nice, we can upgrade the facilities during the first 100 days initiative of Making America Pate Again.  In fact, I believe there is a certain overnight radio host that would be delighted to have a nice broadcast studio nearby where he could do his show.  You two could hang out, and hit the town in Hawaii on the weekends and evenings!  Although, that individual may opt to take a ride to Mars, I also heard he wants to do that too.

That shit is unimportant, he hasn't joined the crew yet.  I hear he has run a campaign of his own in the past, I hope he doesn't make that decision this year.  Hah!

Thank you in advance.  It is an honor to serve!

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Jackstar

Quote from: pate on July 21, 2020, 12:37:58 PM
So what is the plum-post you want?

Quality Assurance Department, Director-Assessor of Hemlock Potency & Purity.

I hear the pay is largely adequate, and the benefits--and the parking space--are outstanding.

I don't know if there's anyone in line for it ahead of me, but if there is, I will cut them. No shame here. Absolutely none.

K_Dubb

Quote from: pate on July 21, 2020, 12:23:18 PM


I think I need some one to fix that shit for me, or at least advise me.  My current idea is to simply list the tickets in alphabetical order.   Is the field settled enough for this yet, if it is a permanent poll for this thread?  I am loathe to press buttons of which I have little understanding of their results, but sometimes do so anyway.  This "Add Poll" button would be so much more tempting if it were bright red and flashing...

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"


The order does seem to be the province of any prospective Campaign Manager but ballots typically have party affiliation listed.  What are we called?  I am affiliated with you so I suppose I would be a patist.

I debated whether this is spelled "pate-ist" to indicate the correct pronunciation but note that "papist" is routinely enunciated without difficulty.  On that model we also have the descriptor "patal" as well as "patacy" for your emeritus state and its apparatus.

I will in this and all other considerations yield to your judgment as you are the head of the ticket but we should probably decide, once the PFDRP is recognized, which of us is to be considered the rump.

I have a plan where you, as in the Commonwealth countries,would continue as Head of State for ceremonial purposes, dog-walking and beer-drinking etc., while I might continue to serve as the Rump of State.

Juan

Mr. Pate,
Who’s (Ramona) heads should we be prepared to crack in Portland- the godless commie rioters, Trump’s secret private army dressed in unlabeled Storm Trooper uniforms and snatching mostly peaceful protesters off the streets, both, or just isolate them and let them fight it out on a live stream?

GravitySucks

Quote from: Juan on July 21, 2020, 02:21:23 PM
Mr. Pate,
Who’s (Ramona) heads should we be prepared to crack in Portland- the godless commie rioters, Trump’s secret private army dressed in unlabeled Storm Trooper uniforms and snatching mostly peaceful protesters off the streets, both, or just isolate them and let them fight it out on a live stream?

The fatty moms go first.

K_Dubb

Both sides seem to be enjoying themselves immensely.  We just need to figure out licensing fees and official apparel.

pate

I am currently laser-focused on the monumental task of how to fix this Mondays and Terrible Tuesdays shit.

I cannot reasonably be expected to refer to the day of my glorious ascension to President of the United States (and possible Galactic President) as "just another Terrible Tuesday."  So there's that.  I think it all had to do with my attempted observance of Friday, Saturday and Sunday as the official day(s) of rest, which in turn got me to thinking that somebody must have lost track of which day was the first of the seven...  I felt the simplest solution was to eliminate Monday, and make everyday the Official day of Rest & Reflection.

Logically, for me, this is the most elegant, logical and intuitive fix for that shit.  I distract myself with this insignificant detail, I logged in to deal with some other shit:

As to, the official party of pate?  "I" have two ideas.  I would conduct a straw poll to find out which looks best but "eye" am not sure if the poll at the top of this thread will be set in stone or not.  I have a few ideas which I have sketched out on various whiteboards here in the "War Room."  I will now by the majicks of the internet attempt to create their simulacrums via the limited text functionality currently available in this miserable sewer known as BellGab:

Quote from: #1
Biden/????? 2020 (D)
pate/K_Dubb 2020 (I)
Trump/Pence 2020 (R)


Quote from: #2
Biden/????? 2020 (D)
pate/K_Dubb 2020 (eye)
Trump/Pence 2020 (R)


Quote from: #3
Biden/????? 2020 (D)
pate/K_Dubb 2020 (eye)
pate/K_Dubb 2020 (I)
Trump/Pence 2020 (R)

I think #3 looks very snazzy, and is in keeping with the Make America Pate Again campaign goals of giving my people multiple fixes for this shit.  When I started typing I really only had #1 and #2 in mind, #3 was sort of an "aye" moment.   I briefly considered adding the (aye) party, but it sort of disturbs the parenthetical nature of the alphabetness (new word, spelling needs to be fixed perhaps) of option #3.  They are all quite nice, as I made them.  I just want my peoples last Terrible Tuesday choice to be tasty, like a nice suit that I would 'ware on that day...


Quote from: #4
Biden/????? 2020 (D)
pate/K_Dubb 2020 (aye)
pate/K_Dubb 2020 (eye)
pate/K_Dubb 2020 (I)
Trump/Pence 2020 (R)

See what "aye" mean about #4, the alphabetness is totally ruined, although there are more correct choices.  Hmm, not every fix is perfect.  I am officially torn betwixt options #3 & #4.  Pondering...

I need some help fixing this shit so I can get back to this pesky task of the ordering of days with the Mondays and Terrible Tuesdays shit.

Thank you all in advance.  It is a pleasure to serve!

p.s. in the editing and proof-reading of this missive I am irked yet again of this Permanent Check of the Box on "Don't use smileys." shit that needs fixing...  That is all, I think.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit

pate

Quote from: K_Dubb on July 21, 2020, 01:35:52 PM
...  What are we called?  I am affiliated with you so I suppose I would be a patist...

I forgot to add, my dear K_Dubb or was it "Chief of Utes: Dog Walker;"  you may call yourself whatever you wish!  But Don't Be Stupid about what you call others...

As long as the ring to it is stylish, amirite???  Hor-huuhhhh...

Proper and Appropriate Forms of Laughter are difficult to type in Ainglais.

I believe the identification, proper adverbial labeling, and spelling on different forms of laughter need to have a complete and unabridged dictionary made for them.  "The Book Of Laughter," hah, everyone would want to read it.  Think of the sales!  That shit needs to be fixed.  Think of how vast that school of pleased fishwives would be?  In my book that equals vast multiples of votes!  This is now an official plank in the Make America Pate Again platform, no arguments!

Still I ponder...

Thank you all in advance.  It is a pleasure to serve!

p.s.  I become winded, (windy?) in this constant re-typing of my elegant, poetic and something-else prose.  EDITOR!!!

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Jackstar

Quote from: pate on July 21, 2020, 03:57:30 PM
Think of how vast that school of pleased fishwives would be? 

As is now thoroughly apparent, my cunning plan is revealed in full for all to see: I'm going for that Fishwife demographic. It's a strong dollar. And for every three Fishwives saved from the fishchipper, I get a bonus peasant who comes arrives with a peasant wife--sausage pre-attached.

Do you remember that bit in Super Mario Bros., one could setup a turtle and a 1-UP block to infinitely award the player infinite extra lives, at least until time ran out? So, basically, what I've done, is done exactly that, except with... sardines.

A FEAT SO IMPRESSIVE, I AM FORCED TO POINT IT OUT ALL BY MYSELF. I truly have the worst groupies... but at least they can fix s***. Okay, most. Some. A few?

Okay it's really just pate and the other guy. Big deal. I only had to get twelve of you to believe in me, and in this COVID-illuminated media climate, that turned out to have been shockingly simple.

Once again, I give thanks: to The Crew, The Art, and... THE (QLASSIFIED). This is exciting, isn't it? I'm not melting even a little! This is important to an ice sculpture in my position, believe you me.

Semper fi.

Jackstar

Quote from: pate on July 21, 2020, 03:57:30 PM
EDITOR!!!

I regret to inform you that... there's been a terrible transporter accident. Someone... made a decimal point... error.

Then the editor was shot signed a strict NCA/NDA. What's left... won't be of use for very long--in Minecraft.


pate

Quote from: Big Chicken on July 21, 2020, 07:12:19 AM
President To Be Pate,

The Big Chicken has just finished devouring a small pig for breakfast and will now be hitting the road in the 1975 Cadillac Chicken Mobile to lay eyes on the proposed site for New Jerusalem. The proposed location was determined after many hours of scouring maps for a suitable location.



The 8-Track will be fired up!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDxAVEscOmA

That is an incredibly stylish vehicle!  Truly a monster, but smooth, I will keep an eye out for it.

Where is this proposed site for the New Jerusalem, I must know!  There are many, I must be kept constantly apprised of where any New Jerusalem is predicted to be, and the odds of that finally being "the One."  It has always sounded like a pleasant place, I intend to visit.  But I don't want to waste time on the fake "New Jerusalems," for they are myriad.

Do keep me posted on your "findings," my interest in the odds is merely speculative, I find oddities to be of great interest and worthy of inspection.  I Ponder...

Thank you in advance, Big Chicken.  It is a pleasure to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

pate

Quote from: Juan on July 21, 2020, 02:21:23 PM
Mr. Pate,
Who’s (Ramona) heads should we be prepared to crack in Portland- the godless commie rioters, Trump’s secret private army dressed in unlabeled Storm Trooper uniforms and snatching mostly peaceful protesters off the streets, both, or just isolate them and let them fight it out on a live stream?

My official policy on such affairs are to stay away from them, but that is me.  I don't inJoy vast amounts of people, I typically find most of them indigestible chores I would prefer to not be around.  I have enough shit to fix on my own without adding to my plate;  but if an individual American enjoys such conglomerations and the activities present;  I wish for all to enjoy themselves whichever side "they" are on.  If any votes are left over at the completion of those highly local festivities (or what-have-you), it would be nice if they were sent My Way.

Thus it is readily apparent to me, Juan.  As my future Attorney General, are there constitutional legalities/trifles involved therein that I should be troubled over;  is this part of my first 100 days?  I think not.  I Ponder...

Thank you in advance.  It is a pleasure to serve!

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Big Chicken

Prophet Incarnate pate and Cherubim K_Dubb,

The Big Chicken is happy to report that the proposed location for New Jerusalem on the Ohio was scouted today and will be magnificent.
Plans for eviction, demolition and construction are being drawn up.  Unfortunately, one of DuPont's Most Holy Chemical Plants will need to be razed but the Archbishop of Covalent Bonds has already signaled tacit approval. So this should not be an issue. 

What will be an issue is the enormous quantity of gold required.  Fort Knox will be emptied (of course), but that will not be adequate.  The hope would be that you would lay hands upon all Boca Burgers in the land and transmutate them into gold.  Barring that - the gold reserves of Germany, the UK, France and Switzerland will have to be secured in a co-ordinated strike initiated by the moment of your swearing in.  Likewise, several Holy Relics will need to be secured and returned to New Jerusalem on the Ohio [NJotO].  This list will be minimized as idolatry is not to be encouraged but there are items that we *must* have.  Details to follow. 

Also the Sacred 1000 Vestal Virgins are being interviewed so that you can fill your role as The Great Inseminator and secure the line of the Prophets forevermore.     

Preliminary sketch of  New Jerusaleum on the Ohio

pate

Brother Chicken,

As to Ohio, I always say:  "Good evening!"

YOur thoughts have distracted me from my deep Ponderings on the ordering of Days, but delightfully so!

Much Praising throughout the lands!  I am very much pleased to announce that;  in addition to that hypnotic DEVO golden oldie of yours...  my dreams were filled with the following very nice song which I now add to the Official Campaign Playlist:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvS_D831_LA

...and from my disturbed slumbers I awake find that yet another day has passed!  I awake to a Wedensday, this day has always been most odious for me.  This ceaseless toil, maddening!  Always the middle, never the end!  A list of shit to fix;  and my name probably on it.  I work on many things, but some things are left un-fixed!

Monday's future is secured,  Terrible Tuesday is being dealt with behind the scenes...  Yet, here returns Wedensday!  Perhaps;  O, Chief of Utes: Walking-DOgs, you will advise US on the fix for Thus?  Tomorrow is Thursday;  hear eye am not even ready for another Monday to deal with fixing shit.

This ordering of days is maddening!  That shit must be fixed, if only my old Norse fiend could provide insight!  I picked K_Dubb for "reasons..."  Honestly, I think it was that guy with the trumpet...  is the fixing of trumpets on the list?

Why must I always be left alone in the middle of shit that needs fixing!!!!  I am saddened, is this the deepest of the subtle laughters to be defined with-in the forthcoming Book of Laughter?  Next Terrible Tuesday?  Time grows short, much to fix... difficult shit, In Deed.  Eye must preveil!

Thank you in advance.  It is an honor to serve!

Apogees in advance.  Difficult times do not indicate future performance.  All hedged bets must be fixed.  People can and do lose money;  others occasionally find some.  That is all -Carrie Anne

I return to Pondering...

pate/Chief of Utes Walking-Dogs 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Jackstar

Quote from: pate on July 22, 2020, 12:00:51 AM
This ceaseless toil, maddening!  Always the middle, never the end!  A list of shit to fix;  and my name probably on it.  I work on many things, but some things are left un-fixed!

I will hold your Autowrench. First, swear fealty.

paladin1991

Quote from: K_Dubb on July 21, 2020, 12:14:07 PM
Point of order: do you prefer "Yes, Sir!" or "Aye-aye, Sir!"?
"My Liege, minor god of my existence, Defender of the Faith, Protector of the Realm, Gonorrhea Sgt. paladin, SIR!"  Will be the first words out of that cock holster of a mouth.  ''Aye  Aye, Sir."  Will follow.

That is all.

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