Poll

Three of the five below are the correct answers, you are invited to choose one. Just remember that the odds are in your flavor, but which is the favorite oddity?

Voting closes: November 23, 2020, 09:01:44 PM

Author pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"  (Read 6050 times)

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pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #90 on: July 20, 2020, 12:49:06 PM »

5.  Don't Be Stupid (I am not sure of K_Dubb's position on this one, and it may be out of order)


You have my complete support on this issue, sir.  Though not doing stupid shit might seem at first glance to be an empty platitude, there is a powerful lot of it going on out there.  We will fix that.


pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #91 on: July 20, 2020, 12:50:22 PM »
Oh that's what he's doing down there!



Maybe. If he has a crotchless suit.

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #92 on: July 20, 2020, 12:57:03 PM »
Your platform should include eliminating the need to change clocks twice per year. 

“You sprang ahead in the spring. Stay sprung with Pate!”

Make America Pate Again!!!
As Consigliere, I will advise the administration to administer three lashes with a cat O' nine to anyone who whines about Daylight Savings Time. 



pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #93 on: July 20, 2020, 01:01:50 PM »
Your platform should include eliminating the need to change clocks twice per year. 

“You sprang ahead in the spring. Stay sprung with Pate!”

Make America Pate Again!!!
Yes, that's a biggie.  Quit screwing with the time.  It's already hard enough to figure out the time for the next GabCast.

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #94 on: July 20, 2020, 01:04:08 PM »
We are trying to fix that shit.  You can help, looks like you are doing an Admirable job on the fashion and style front with K_Dubb.  Are you already on his staff, or are you not yet ready to come aboard and help us?

I think you would be a great addition to our steadily growing team.  Let me know what plum position in the Administration most pleases you and in exchange for your vote and support I will make sure your butt is in that seat!  Unless, of course, the seat is already taken.  All seems to be negotiable and friendly at this point;  as I have decreed that back-stabbings & other jostlings for power are not to occur until after my first 100 days initiative.  I am always looking for fresh ideas on what really needs to be put at the top of the list of things that need to be fixed.

Off the top of my head, I seem to recall the following items on the list:

1.  Beer (both K_Dubb and I agree that a steady and delicious supply of beer is necessary in a properly managed economy)
2.  Dog-petting (again both of us)
3.  Good Music ONLY (this is one of my pet projects)
4.  No Fatties Allowed (we agree generally on this but differ slightly on how to address the issue, no deal-breakers more deets)
5.  Don't Be Stupid (I am not sure of K_Dubb's position on this one, and it may be out of order)
6.  Send Dave To Mars (he's earned it, Jackstar is working on how we can make that happen in the fastest manner possible, he's got some pretty good ideas, but again the deets)
7....?

That is about all I can remember.  I am sure there is someone out there willing to help us fix that shit.  Is it you?  Maybe you could help keep track of the Official List of Shit That Will Be Fixed?  That is one of the most important jobs in the Administration, but if it doesn't sound like your bag, that is cool too;  just let me know what you would like to be in charge of fixing.

What do you say?  You are welcome aboard.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit


K_Dubb and I, in the past, have touched base on certain things. (i.e. fashion)  I don't like dogs. Sorry, never understood the fixation with "man's best friend."  Plus I do like "fatties."  Rubenesque women appeal to me.  "Good music" is a matter of taste.  I am not stupid and I could drink your weight in beer on any given week.  Nonetheless I believe I am suitable for any position in the administration.  I can fix shit.

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #95 on: July 20, 2020, 01:04:48 PM »
As Consigliere, I will advise the administration to administer three lashes with a cat O' nine to anyone who whines about Daylight Savings Time.

Noon is established scientifically by the OOD anyway, with his sextant.  All deviations fore and aft for conformity's sake are fictions, and therefore qualify as stupid shit we will fix.

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #96 on: July 20, 2020, 01:04:58 PM »
Yes, that's a biggie.  Quit screwing with the time.  It's already hard enough to figure out the time for the next GabCast.

So three stripes for Grav and three for ItsOver.   Most of the shit updates automatically. Stop whining.



pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #97 on: July 20, 2020, 01:05:58 PM »
7: ... ?

If I order my steak blue, I mean it.

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #98 on: July 20, 2020, 01:10:12 PM »
So three stripes for Grav and three for ItsOver.   Most of the shit updates automatically. Stop whining.



That brings up another point.  Are we allowing cruel and unusual punishment now?

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #99 on: July 20, 2020, 01:14:17 PM »
That brings up another point.  Are we allowing cruel and unusual punishment now?

I would defer that to POTUS, VEEP and the Big Chicken.  I believe he mentioned a "New Inquisition"

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #100 on: July 20, 2020, 01:17:41 PM »
Nonetheless I believe I am suitable for any position in the administration.  I can fix shit.

Meet your new Inspector Instructor General, already in progress.

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #101 on: July 20, 2020, 01:20:31 PM »
I believe he mentioned a "New Inquisition"




I'm not a fan, but I'm a fan of allowing.

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #102 on: July 20, 2020, 01:22:00 PM »
Quit screwing with the time. 

I'm going to check with the Department of Labeling on this one, but I think We can accommodate you.

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #103 on: July 20, 2020, 01:26:40 PM »
That brings up another point.  Are we allowing cruel and unusual punishment now?

I will defer to the future Mr. President on this one but note that corporal punishment administered under the direction of a horde of screeching fishwives is the new community-policing model the BLM folks are all over.  I think we could get broad consensus on this one.  As long as I don't have to hear it -- I will be in the garden petting the dog.

https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2020/07/let-white-man-debate-breaks-portland-riot-race-assault-homophobic-man/

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #104 on: July 20, 2020, 01:32:03 PM »
K_Dubb and I, in the past, have touched base on certain things. (i.e. fashion)  I don't like dogs. Sorry, never understood the fixation with "man's best friend."  Plus I do like "fatties."  Rubenesque women appeal to me.  "Good music" is a matter of taste.  I am not stupid and I could drink your weight in beer on any given week.  Nonetheless I believe I am suitable for any position in the administration.  I can fix shit.

White Pate House Chef?

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #105 on: July 20, 2020, 01:38:58 PM »
I will defer to the future Mr. President on this one but note that corporal punishment administered under the direction of a horde of screeching fishwives is the new community-policing model the BLM folks are all over.  I think we could get broad consensus on this one.  As long as I don't have to hear it -- I will be in the garden petting the dog.

https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2020/07/let-white-man-debate-breaks-portland-riot-race-assault-homophobic-man/

Enter the Grand Inquisitor.

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #106 on: July 20, 2020, 01:45:16 PM »
Enter the Grand Inquisitor.

Hahha that is more terrifying than any robe!  Forget the gold stripes on the sleeves; this is albrecht's new uniform.

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #107 on: July 20, 2020, 01:48:51 PM »
Hahha that is more terrifying than any robe!  Forget the gold stripes on the sleeves; this is albrecht's new uniform.
You know it is!

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #108 on: July 20, 2020, 02:22:38 PM »
Quote
a man who goes by the name “Princess”

Nice try, FBI.

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #109 on: July 20, 2020, 02:34:07 PM »
Drop the cookie fat fuck.

Whoozit can have my spot.  I will be happy with chief dog-walker.

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #110 on: July 20, 2020, 02:35:39 PM »
a horde of screeching fishwives

HOTFIX: whenever two or more Fishwives are referred to, gathered, or fed together, they are automatically referred to as "a school of Fishwifes," and nothing else.

Because at that point, y'all better be learnin' something. Carry on, restart not required.

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #111 on: July 20, 2020, 02:36:27 PM »
I will be happy with chief dog-walker.

Server restart requested. We'll see.

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #112 on: July 20, 2020, 02:45:45 PM »
K_Dubb and I, in the past, have touched base on certain things. (i.e. fashion)  I don't like dogs. Sorry, never understood the fixation with "man's best friend."  Plus I do like "fatties."  Rubenesque women appeal to me.  "Good music" is a matter of taste.  I am not stupid and I could drink your weight in beer on any given week.  Nonetheless I believe I am suitable for any position in the administration.  I can fix shit.

Welcome, aboard.  Now fix that shit!

Multi-talented individuals such as yourself should be allowed to fix the shit that they want to fix.  I think I see the solution to the "No fatties" problem right here, ShayP.  I did say earlier that K_Dubb and I agree generally on the issue and I have an elegant solution in mind:  Would you like to be the Director of the "Fat Camps?"  You will be given complete latitude in how you run the camps, I may stop in to do a spot-check on progress, I occasionally appreciate a nice robust lady with a pretty face.  We can talk about that later...

As for the Dog-petting;  I believe the word 'dog' is used rather loosely there.  Pet-petting sounds a little wierd.  You can pet Asps, Cats, Fishes or any other animal you like.  I would like to see more pet ownership, and my feeling is that people will be encouraged to own them if the practice of petting them is encouraged.   I do not think beatings, cuttings, stompings or other abusive behaviors towards pets should be encouraged, however.  That is why only "Dog" petting is officially endorsed and backed by my administration.

Nothing is more American than individual taste;  if there were only one flavor, taste would be meaningless.  That is why the Only Good Music program is broadly inclusive.  I do not believe, even as amusing as they are, that any of the "Shitty Flute" musical covers will ever make it to the Official Good Music Playlist.  This list is going to be extensive, and when the random loop algorithms are finalized the chances of hearing any particular genre of music or even song twice in the same week will be quite low.  If one, as an American, does not like the current selection there are always both the CHANNEL & VOLUME knobs and OFF button.

I too can drink my weight in beer on any given week!  That's wild, man!  I have been drinking a lot of beer this week, I would love to show you my empty can collection sometime!

Anyhow, we have a lot of shit to fix, so that might be awhile.  Maybe after the first 100 days initiative is completed?

I am very excited, if I understand you correctly, to have you with us as we fix some shit.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit."

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #113 on: July 20, 2020, 02:57:01 PM »
This Daylight Savings Time shit is going to get fixed.  I figured that was a given.  Damn, that shit was easy to fix.

Does the shift normally occur during my first 100 days?  I can assure everyone that after my first 100 days that shit will no longer occur.

I want it on the list though, as a clear warning to other stupid shit that needs fixing!

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #114 on: July 20, 2020, 03:00:24 PM »
That brings up another point.  Are we allowing cruel and unusual punishment now?

Only if the stupid shit being punished was cruel or unusual in nature?

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"


pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #115 on: July 20, 2020, 03:07:42 PM »
White Pate House Chef?

Properly, it would be "Chef des pâté de maisons."  Whole-heartedly, definitely, and must have that position filled.  It is essential to have masterfully crafted Amuse-bouche a tout de les functions officials.  And y'all thought my Ainglais spelling wuz 'trocious....

Oui, d'accord... Ion engines:  we need that shit fixed.  Who is with me?

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"



pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #116 on: July 20, 2020, 03:11:48 PM »
I would love to show you my empty can collection sometime!

It's gonna be tough to top that one. A rare case when "hold that mustard!!!" becomes a desperate cry for help.

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #117 on: July 20, 2020, 03:16:48 PM »
Ion engines:  we need that shit fixed.  Who is with me?

Those bogeys on your six. They brought an Autowrench Dispenser.

You'll be fine. It gets easier. But not all too easy. Meanwhile, I'll dispatch more scientists to get to work on those unbreakable ions everyone has been requesting since the beginning. One would think that would be a given, but one would be mistaken.

Ahh, "dispatching more scientists." Now, that takes me back--way back before 'Nam. Those were the days.

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #118 on: July 20, 2020, 09:34:48 PM »
Whoozit can have my spot.  I will be happy with chief dog-walker.

Brother K_Dubb?   I specifically said the betrayals &c, are to begin only after the first 100 days initiative.  Why does your heart falter?  Is it the Work before us, yes difficult;  but so is walking 350 pounds of moving canine on 12 legs.  Hans, Mongo and Flip of course are absolutely delighted at the prospect.  Ah, the fickleness of the Ute!

Wait a second, if you wish to identify as a Ute and take Chief Dog-Walker as your new name that is cool too, I guess.

If it is the Constitutional age requirement for Vice-President, why, it just occurred to me that WE CAN FIX THAT SHIT!  Please tell me what troubles your heart, maybe Big Chicken can help counsel you in these difficult times.

I would hate for the official Make America Pate Again campaign BellGab/bellchan account signature line be changed to:
Quote
pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"
While I frantically search for a more suitable replacement at the 11th hour!  Think of the optics.

As Jaskstar asked me yesterday "I this your final answer?"

I'd like to ask everybody aboard to help me fix this latest campaign crisis shit;  there are so many other important things that critically need fixing!

I am glad that the PMs functionality has not yet been restored and this minor dispute is out in the open.  That is the kind of clear and crystalline quality transparency all my people can expect as we Make America Pate Again!

Let's fix this shit, immediately.  It really hits me in the feelz, yo!

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #119 on: July 20, 2020, 10:35:14 PM »

If it is the Constitutional age requirement for Vice-President, why, it just occurred to me that WE CAN FIX THAT SHIT!  Please tell me what troubles your heart, maybe Big Chicken can help counsel you in these difficult time

Of course the Big Chicken would be happy to work with the lad and put some steel in his back bone.  Do keep in mind that while the Big Chicken is on fire for the Lord, he is no holy man.  All Presidents require a spiritual advisor and you could do no better than Pastor Butch Paugh of Nettie, West Virginia. He is known as the "Preacher that walks like a tank but preaches like a machine gun".   He was blessed by a 9mm round into his guts and was healed by Angels.
Now that is a Holy Man!
 
Pastor Butch


Pastor Butch's classic appearance on Divine Intervention Radio:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DdwFxmui5oA

Plus an appaearnce on Jones':
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cS3bOd_qdZg