pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"

[ItsOver]

Didn't somebody already try that back in the day and it resulted in a Whiskey Rebellion?  I think it had to do that the area that all went down in was a barter economy, and Whiskey was the primary universally accepted specie of exchange.  When Uncle Sam decided he wanted his cut, he refused to accept tax payments in Whiskey and demanded US Currency.

I do not believe Booze should be taxed as a luxury, as often it is indicated as a treatment:  especially in cases where one has spent a significant amount of time and money trying to fix ones own Federal, State and Local tax shit.  Since most uses of Booze are medicinal in nature, and we want our people to be healthy perhaps Booze should be exempt, or taxed at a lower rate?

I think it would be a good idea to levy any Booze taxes at the Manufacturer level, say anyone who produces more than 10,000GAL(US) per annum must send to the White House an amount of the year's production run for the Strategic Beer Reserve (to include all forms of Booze: eau-de-vie, wines, beers, Root Beers &c).   To start, I think One Quarter of One Percent or a 0.25% of the yearly production would probably suffice.

Budwieser, Miller and other "Yard Beers" can probably be stockpiled as a Welfare type distribution to the "little people" to keep them voting to Make America Pate Again.

I am just spit-balling here, and if the Booze is imported, for instance Remy Martin, VSOP, perhaps a minimum tax on the import in an amount to be no less than 10 Cases per year should be delivered to the White House, this of course will be in the interest of international bonhomie and I would use those as President to assist in the entertaining of Foreign Dignitaries.

Probably should have a Tobacco Tax of a similar nature, we want to have a Strategic Cigar/Pipe Tobacco Reserve too.


https://youtu.be/9gtqcWA8ugU

And here I was thinking I would not fix much shit on this auspicious beginning of yet another Three Day Weekend!

A Good Friday indeed!

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

How about a strategic Bourbon reserve, to be released when supply runs low.  It may take years, decades, to have an effect, but just think how great it would be for the common man to easily obtain Pappy. 

“Pappy in every cup!”

Yes, my vote can be bought.

[K_Dubb]

Not to be too picky or anything, but can we switch out the "man" for a "woman"? I'm open minded but totally strait-laced in certain ways.

No, honey; I am afraid that is quite impossible due to feminine psychology.  Women must feel desired to be satisfied, a position that paying for sex negates very neatly.  Men, on the other hand, are gratified by possession, even temporary and contractual, so we may be thankful that, so long as we are young and thin and beautiful, there is always some loathsome clod (think Shreddie) who will fork it over to put his hands on our hot little bodies, so, as long as we are utterly devoid of any self-respect whatever, we need never starve.

Though I must say that there is nothing like spending a few chilly starving nights on a park bench to bring out the hollows in our cheeks, and a day we do not eat is a day we have at least accomplished something, so there is no need to rush straight into a rude caress too quickly if you are not inclined.  Just keep the option in your back pocket for when your hair starts falling out.

[pate]

No, honey; I am afraid that is quite impossible due to feminine psychology.  Women must feel desired to be satisfied, a position that paying for sex negates very neatly.  Men, on the other hand, are gratified by possession, even temporary and contractual, so we may be thankful that, so long as we are young and thin and beautiful, there is always some loathsome clod (think Shreddie) who will fork it over to put his hands on our hot little bodies, so we need never starve.

Though I must say that there is nothing like spending a few chilly starving nights on a park bench to bring out the hollows in our cheeks, and a day we do not eat is a day we have at least accomplished something, so there is no need to rush straight into a rude caress too quickly if you are not inclined.  Just keep the option in your back pocket for when your hair starts falling out.

If Ladies (and for that matter Laddies) of the Night are to have semi- or fully-legal status, perhaps a Taxation should be levied there as well.  Since I will have my beautiful First Lady to tend to, I can arrange for any services due from that service industry to be distributed as plums to any deserving, lecherous or otherwise person of unseemly character that might desire such things.

That is a purely Notional idea, of course, as My Administration will be proper and correct in all things:  I do recognize that there are certain realities that must be addressed in the sordid underbelly of the world.  If we proceed with that, it will best be administrated via the Shadow Government.

I must ponder...

pate/K_Dubb
"We are going to fix this shit"

[AZZERAE]

Women must feel desired to be satisfied, a position that paying for sex negates very neatly. Men, on the other hand, are gratified by possession, even temporary and contractual...

Do you play both sides of the street? For real, you may be surprised at what women are like these days. I'm not saying gender and the inherent roles that come with them are interchangeable, just, there are women who are very much like the men whose pictures you cartoonishly paint with such broad strokes.

Though I must say that there is nothing like spending a few chilly starving nights on a park bench to bring out the hollows in our cheeks, and a day we do not eat is a day we have at least accomplished something...

Have you ever experienced homelessness (even temporarily)? It's a bitch.

I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but speaking of starvation and segueing into Hunger, have you read the book of the same name by Knut Hamsun? Its pretty great.

[K_Dubb]

If Ladies (and for that matter Laddies) of the Night are to have semi- or fully-legal status, perhaps a Taxation should be levied there as well.  Since I will have my beautiful First Lady to tend to, I can arrange for any services due from that service industry to be distributed as plums to any deserving, lecherous or otherwise person of unseemly character that might desire such things.

That is a purely Notional idea, of course, as My Administration will be proper and correct in all things:  I do recognize that there are certain realities that must be addressed in the sordid underbelly of the world.  If we proceed with that, it will best be administrated via the Shadow Government.

I must ponder...

pate/K_Dubb
"We are going to fix this shit"

Haha are you saying the shadow government is to be administered by a Pimp-In-Chief?  I do like the sordid air and general aesthetic potential of this.

[K_Dubb]

Do you play both sides of the street? For real, you may be surprised at what women are like these days. I'm not saying gender and the inherent roles that come with them are interchangeable, just, there are women who are very much like the men whose pictures you cartoonishly paint with such broad strokes.

I have, and have been prophesying the appearance of the sort of woman you suggest for years but have yet to meet one that did not turn into a cringing puddle of needy validation in the dark.  The only example I can think of is Madonna and she is everywhere a laughingstock.  It will take at least a generation, maybe two, for the culture to shift around enough to permit it.

[ItsOver]

Haha are you saying the shadow government is to be administered by a Pimp-In-Chief?  I do like the sordid air and general aesthetic potential of this.

Ha!  The all important Pimp in Chief post.  Critical to our future.



Choose carefully!

[Jackstar]

Ha!  The all important Pimp in Chief post.  Critical to our future.

[attachment=1]

[pate]

Haha are you saying the shadow government is to be administered by a Pimp-In-Chief?  I do like the sordid air and general aesthetic potential of this.

No, but the Shadow President may appoint a Shadow Pimp Czar if the situation warrants.  Probably will have to run that by the Shadow Attorney General and make sure that it is legal under the Shadow Constitution...

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

[pate]

Two hundred fifty, Saturday (FSS Three Day Weekend, FFS)

Code Select Expand

Two hundred fifty-one, Sunday (FSS Three Day Weekend, FFS)

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"JEWELED ALIEN"

Yesterday, I was talking to one of my constituents and I observed that both of the political failures standing against me were of an age that they would better be enjoying their Golden Years in a Norse-ing home rather than standing against me.  I also observed that members of Congress, the Senate and the Supreme Court also stick around long past the age where their time would be better spent enjoying the subtle pleasures of the Norse-ing home.

I will institute a MANDATORY retirement age of no less than sixty-five years from political careers, great Americans should not feel obligated to try to Reign well into their years of dotage, this practice should end.  In fact the practice of embarking on a career focused on mere politics, an idea destined for the Memory Hole under my administration, that too shall also end.

I will have both Biden and Trump assigned to separate Norse-ing homes, but ones not so far apart from one another that raids from one upon the other are not feasible, the antics of these two old dotards will, of course, be live streamed for the People.

The cost savings associated with the cessation of Federal Pensions after the glorious deaths of old codgers will be passed along to the productive Citizens of America in the form of Tax Breaks.

I have said quite enough.


https://youtu.be/stUxPQ6mjAI

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

[Jackstar]

a MANDATORY retirement age

[attachment=1]

[pate]

Two hundred fifty-two, MONDAY

Code Select Expand

They may think that by refusing my request of three debate podiums and the presence of a fully functional on-camera real-time toxicology screening lab on the debate stage tomorrow night effectively puts me out of the Presidential race.

They would be wrong, it only demonstrates weakness, fear and desperation on their part.  This is really their last-ditch effort on behalf of the current Shadow Administration to save their own necks.

Never fear;  subtle moves are being made behind the scenes by future Make America Pate Again Shadow Government personnel:  for Campaign Security reasons, at this time, further details will not be divulged.

I neither confirm nor deny that this has anything to do with October Surprises.


https://youtu.be/XDQ7B6ePuvE

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

[K_Dubb]

I will have both Biden and Trump assigned to separate Norse-ing homes, but ones not so far apart from one another that raids from one upon the other are not feasible, the antics of these two old dotards will, of course, be live streamed for the People.

This makes me very happy, sir.  I shall of course join in the melee as a non-aligned chaotic berserker force with my chieftain, Richard C. Hoagland, from time to time as dog-walking duties permit.

[pate]

Two hundred fifty-three, Terrible Tuesday

Code Select Expand

"JEWELED ALIEN"

I am pleased to announce that tonight I handily won the Shadow Presidential Debate.


https://youtu.be/3GwjfUFyY6M

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

[K_Dubb]

Two hundred fifty-three, Terrible Tuesday

Code Select Expand

"JEWELED ALIEN"

I am pleased to announce that tonight I handily won the Shadow Presidential Debate.


https://youtu.be/3GwjfUFyY6M

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

I had every faith that you would, sir.  I am busily preparing for the Vice-Presidential debate where, if I am granted a podium, I will make the case to the American people that the current Vice President has moobs under his suit and that Kamala Harris looks like a collie dog.

[Big Chicken]

prophet pate and Cherubim K_Dubb,

The Nemocrancer Houge states that this will be the last election in the United States.  For once he is right...The theocracy of the Prophet pate shall rise and the prodigy of The Prophet shall inherit this land. 
Glory be! 


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LWwdL9-Z8WQ

As for Nemocrancer Hogue and his ilk, Judas' Cradle has been forged anew.

[pate]

Two hundred fifty-four, Make Dad Smile On Wednesday

Code Select Expand

Two hundred fifty-five, Thursday into Friday

Code Select Expand

Two hundred fifty-five, Friday (FSS Three Day Weekend FFS)

Code Select Expand

"EYE DEW" : "JEWELED ALIEN" : "SPITZ FIREDUST" : "TRIUMVIRATE ARCH" : "SOYLENT PURPLE HAMBURGLAR"

I will neither confirm nor deny that I now have access to the 5G activation codes for the CornHoleEbola-19.5 virus.

That being said, I think it will be a crime punishable by death if a physician prescribes antibiotics to treat a viral infection.  Antibiotics do NOTHING against virii, only antivirals have efficacy against virii.

I am busy fixing shit;  hopefully that was evident by Campaign Communication Status going black for the past few days.

Hear is some musacks:


https://youtu.be/-PeeDCnoG3k


https://youtu.be/nrh_SF4gNHY


https://youtu.be/BMtNepVm-F0

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

[malachi.martini]

The Nemocrancer Houge states that this will be the last election in the United States.  For once he is right...The theocracy of the Prophet pate shall rise and the prodigy of The Prophet shall inherit this land. 
Glory be! 

[pate]

The Johnson Clan was awfully prophetic back in the day...


https://youtu.be/pus6XF_qh38

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

[pate]

Two hundred fifty-seven, Saturday (FSS Three Day Weekend, FFS)

Code Select Expand

"JEWELED ALIEN"
Two hundred fifty-eight, Sunday (FSS Three Day Weekend, FFS)

Code Select Expand

Two hundred fifty-nine, Monday

Code Select Expand

"EYE DEW" : "OVER ARCHON"

The thirty-first of October will be a national holiday, and the entire month of October will be spent in celebratory preparation for that day.  As an aside, the first of November will also be a national holiday, mainly because anyone who survives the party of the night before will probably need that day off.

The White House will be appropriately decorated for the season;  on each day of the month of October decorations of the appropriate type will be placed on top of Swiss Pikes that will replace every fifth or seventh wrought iron security fence picket around the perimeter of the grounds.  This will be part of the re-institution of the Cruel and Unusual Punishments program: generous convicted criminals will donate of themselves to provide this amusement for the people.

I may even place some of the decorations personally, of course these will be very special decorations and I will have a team of professional cosmetologists to delicately prepare some of those decorations with clown make-up.  This of course, will require an official State visit from the People's Free Democratic Republic of pate to the White House;  as I believe October falls well outside the first 100 days.

Also, in keeping with the "Dog" Petting program, an aviary should be installed on the grounds specifically designed to attract crows.  I think crows are pretty cool, and they are smart:  the crows will probably enjoy the seasonal Holiday decorations that will surround the White House by the thirty-first of October.

I have clearly not said enough on this.

Hear are some songs that may or may not be appropriate for the campaign.  They will, of course, be assigned to whichever List is most appropriate for them:


https://youtu.be/A3dEWeu7aII


https://youtu.be/BQtjfFK9HZU


https://youtu.be/UqDO6DWldpw

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

[SpaceMeowMaid]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJJI40jWC0g

Jailpate, Kdubb  do something!~

[paladin1991]

Have we fixed anything yet?

[Jackstar]

No, but I have put orders in. You know how it goes.

[pate]

Have we fixed anything yet?

You do realize that one corollary of that question is:  ”paladin1991 has not fixed shit”?

Put the coffee mug and donut down, and get to work freeloader.

You sound like a damn hippie.

Go fix some shit.

-p

[Jackstar]

Put the coffee mug and donut down

How will he be able to waddle it out to his cruiser prowler without them?

[paladin1991]

Stop deflecting.

[Dr. MD MD]

How will he be able to waddle it out to his cruiser prowler without them?

Paladin has a Prowler?

Sheeeeit. Respect.

[pate]

...

Looks like a "tiny dick" compensation car, hah!

-p

[paladin1991]

Paladin has a Prowler?

Sheeeeit. Respect.

"Wanna go for a ride?"

[paladin1991]

Looks like a "tiny dick" compensation car, hah!

-p

Put it in your mouth.