Poll

Three of the five below are the correct answers, you are invited to choose one. Just remember that the odds are in your flavor, but which is the favorite oddity?

Voting closes: November 23, 2020, 09:01:44 PM

Author pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"  (Read 5176 times)

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pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #720 on: September 12, 2020, 06:05:33 PM »
If you have any plums to spare I will gladly relieve you of them and will try not to tart them up too much hahahaha what a joke I am perfectly slain.

Yours faithfully, Kdubb


Service is the greatest privilege in and of Life.

(REDACTED)/(REDACTED) 2020
"What Who?"

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #721 on: September 12, 2020, 06:12:38 PM »
most welcome in these droll times

Oh, sure--I single-handledly car-pet-nuke the fourth wall, and suddenly, now you're a cheerleader.

massive rolleyes



Service is the greatest privilege in and of Life.

(REDACTED)/(REDACTED) 2020
"What Who?"

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #722 on: September 13, 2020, 02:12:00 PM »
Two hundred thirty-seven, Sunday (FSS, Three Day Weekend FFS)
Code: [Select]


Service is the greatest privilege in and of Life...

T is the first, fourth, fifth, eleventh, sixteenth, twenty-fourth, twenty-ninth, thirty-third, thirty-fifth, thirty-ninth, forty-fifth, forty-seventh, fifty-first, fifty-sixth, fifty-eighth, sixty-second, sixty-fourth, sixty-ninth, seventy-third, seventy-eighth, eightieth letter in this sentence, JaX!

https://youtu.be/4MYQTOFQuLw

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We control the horizontal. We control the vertical. *."
« Reply #723 on: September 13, 2020, 07:07:28 PM »
T is the first, fourth, fifth, eleventh, sixteenth, twenty-fourth, twenty-ninth, thirty-third, thirty-fifth, thirty-ninth, forty-fifth, forty-seventh, fifty-first, fifty-sixth, fifty-eighth, sixty-second, sixty-fourth, sixty-ninth, seventy-third, seventy-eighth, eightieth letter in this sentence, JaX!


Well, pate went super-critical before I did. Wow. Who could have seen that coming? I mean... other than Me.


Service is the greatest privilege in and of Life.

(REDACTED)/(REDACTED) 2020
"What Who?"

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #724 on: September 13, 2020, 07:27:05 PM »

Well, pate went super-critical before I did. Wow. Who could have seen that coming? I mean... other than Me...

Aronson's Sequence, 237 is one of the numbers:

    "T is the first, fourth,..., two hundred thirty-first, two hundred thirty-seventh letter in this sentence, JaXtar failed."

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #725 on: September 13, 2020, 07:30:51 PM »
pate - Do  you have a plan for these Firebugs?  Stuff is bad enough without wahoos adding to the issues.  In this case, this lady seemed to take care of it but she can't be everywhere.

https://twitter.com/zerosum24/status/1305214840798171137

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #726 on: September 13, 2020, 07:49:20 PM »
pate - Do  you have a plan for these Firebugs?  Stuff is bad enough without wahoos adding to the issues.  In this case, this lady seemed to take care of it but she can't be everywhere.

https://twitter.com/zerosum24/status/1305214840798171137

First, I want to know why that dude was apparently wearing yoga pants?  I imagine that is what got him in the lady's cross-hairs in the first place.  Playing with matches in the bushes?  A dude wearing tights fooling around in the bushes on my property, matches or not;  well, that would get the war-dogs and myself quite agitated...

Honestly, in the Make America Pate Again "Don't Be Stupid" initiative, I was secretly considering a sort of special licensing for people of proven high intellect to be able to immediately dispense with individuals that are clearly chronic in their being stupid condition.

Sort of like a Citizen's Arrest, only you get to go ahead and be Judge Jury &c with the Stupid Ones?  I figured I would sneak that in there on the 99th day of the first 100 days.  K_Dubb could of course rescind it, as it would be in the form of an Executive Order.  I was going to wait the full 99 days first though, in hopes that people would quit Being Stupid and make that shit an unnecessary fix...

That statement may cost me a few multi-votes, but in the interest of transparency, and since you asked I figured I could throw it out there.  I really didn't have much of anything in the prepared statements today;  it being Sunday I was going to just sort of hang around the PFDRp with the dogs, napping and such.

https://youtu.be/en1uwIzI3SE

I would much rather talk about Velvet Gloves than Iron Fists.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #727 on: September 14, 2020, 12:03:30 AM »
Two hundred thirty-eight, Monday
Code: [Select]

I am going to go ahead and officially cancel today.

https://youtu.be/adOITE1IOmw

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #728 on: September 14, 2020, 12:20:27 AM »
First, I want to know why that dude was apparently wearing yoga pants?  I imagine that is what got him in the lady's cross-hairs in the first place.  Playing with matches in the bushes?  A dude wearing tights fooling around in the bushes on my property, matches or not;  well, that would get the war-dogs and myself quite agitated...

This is sort of my department and I think I can explain, sir:  it appears that this is a misunderstood interpretation of antifa skinny jeans, wearing his daughter's tights hoping to pass at a distance.  Based on this poorly executed rendition of the "black bloc" uniform, his inexplicable cooperation with the property owner (where are chants and bags of urine?), and the fact that that the fellow, though shirtless, is not hot, I feel confident that this is a firebug False Flag.

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #729 on: September 14, 2020, 01:21:24 AM »
This is sort of my department and I think I can explain, sir:  it appears that this is a misunderstood interpretation of antifa skinny jeans, wearing his daughter's tights hoping to pass at a distance.  Based on this poorly executed rendition of the "black bloc" uniform, his inexplicable cooperation with the property owner (where are chants and bags of urine?), and the fact that that the fellow, though shirtless, is not hot, I feel confident that this is a firebug False Flag.

Was there location data associated with this "incident?"  I see that it is Oregon.  Did this guy "drop his kids off at the pool" and wander off into the wilderness to do "grown up stuff" while the chill ones had fun in the big city or something?

Lordy, people should be careful.  He should count himself lucky that nice lady just called the cops and filmed the affair...

I would keep an (eye) on that guy and his decedents:  what state are their tools?  Is the shed they are kept in dry?  Are their powder stores kept in hermetically sealed storage vessels?  Do they have either whet- or lode-stones?

I am glad I officially cancelled Monday this week!  False Flags, eh?

Perfidy is explicit in the Articles of War, unless I am mistaken in my readings...

I must ponder this.

https://youtu.be/OeEzmPs7i_U

https://youtu.be/5wBTdfAkqGU

https://youtu.be/Gcm-tOGiva0

Aye, I hope those random musical selections will assist me.

Attend, K_Dubb:

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"





pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #730 on: September 14, 2020, 01:57:02 AM »
https://youtu.be/Gcm-tOGiva0

Aye, I hope those random musical selections will assist me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUqSMzmBA14

This planet is positively swimming in heroes. Why do you think all the pole-dancing unicorns came here?

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #731 on: September 14, 2020, 01:58:43 AM »
This is sort of my department and I think I can explain, sir:  it appears that this is a misunderstood interpretation of antifa skinny jeans, wearing his daughter's tights hoping to pass at a distance.

Alright. Why would it be important to pass as a young girl from a distance? I heard an interview with "Abby the spoon lady" some time ago when she says that she dressed in baggy clothing and coveralls when she rode the rails to "pass as a man from a distance." In her case, it makes sense. When riding the rails with a bunch of homos hobos it would probably be safest to have people assume you were a man.

But why steal your daughters skinny jeans to "pass from a distance?"

*Oh, Abby the spoon lady (with Chris Rodriguez), if you have never had the pleasure. She is quite something.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nLmM9kcBKs

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #732 on: September 14, 2020, 02:27:46 AM »
Alright. Why would it be important to pass as a young girl from a distance? I heard an interview with "Abby the spoon lady" some time ago when she says that she dressed in baggy clothing and coveralls when she rode the rails to "pass as a man from a distance." In her case, it makes sense. When riding the rails with a bunch of homos hobos it would probably be safest to have people assume you were a man.

But why steal your daughters skinny jeans to "pass from a distance?"

*Oh, Abby the spoon lady (with Chris Rodriguez), if you have never had the pleasure. She is quite something.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nLmM9kcBKs

Hahaha not to pass as a girl but to pass as antifa, in what I take to be a low-budget vernacular interpretation of the usual costume.  That is most likely the woman's husband or brother and this is an effort to create a Viral Video to amuse the Patriots, whose appetite for those things knows no bounds this year.  "Hapless antifa firebug apprehended by gun-toting female" is a big old helping of cornball slathered in butter and syrup.  Corn, not maple.  "What, are those matches in your hand?  Matches, I say!" just in case we miss it.

It does bring up a good point, though:  our campaign needs a Viral Video of us fixing shit.  Off the top of my head I can envision pate bringing the Patriots to heel by demonstrating his ability to pilot freshwater smallcraft without swamping, while I cleverly douse the flames of revolution with my stockpiled urine.  All while shirtless, of course.  Followed by beer, dog-petting, and slightly crispy plum tart.

She is something! Not perhaps as alluring as castanets but with a similar function.

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #733 on: September 14, 2020, 02:44:29 AM »
She is something! Not perhaps as alluring as castanets but with a similar function.

Thank-you. I had to look up castanets... I will add that I think that the video was supposed to be an "equal opportunity feel-good video" aimed at both the right and the left. For the right, we have a gun toting individual holding an arson for the cops. For the left, we have the fact that it is a female... And shes black. It seems like the perfect video for everybody. 

*Also, thank you for clarifying. That person was not going to pass as a woman from any distance unless the observers cataracts were inoperable and they were half blind...

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #734 on: September 14, 2020, 02:52:09 AM »


Honestly, in the Make America Pate Again "Don't Be Stupid" initiative, I was secretly considering a sort of special licensing for people of proven high intellect to be able to immediately dispense with individuals that are clearly chronic in their being stupid condition.

Sort of like a Citizen's Arrest, only you get to go ahead and be Judge Jury &c with the Stupid Ones?  I figured I would sneak that in there on the 99th day of the first 100 days.  K_Dubb could of course rescind it, as it would be in the form of an Executive Order.  I was going to wait the full 99 days first though, in hopes that people would quit Being Stupid and make that shit an unnecessary fix...

That statement may cost me a few multi-votes...

I'm a little concerned with the direction of your campaign. Suddenly, it appears that you are admitting that you might not have all the shit fixed in your first 100 days- that there may still be lots of shit to fix. And yet, you are still promising to leave office.

It is not a bad strategy. However, it seems that the D's have already pretty much used it. You don't have to vote for Joe (unless he appeals to you.) He is old, tired and suffers from dementia. Vote for Kamala instead as we all know that she will be president pretty quick.

No, the D's have cornered the market on the promise of a bait and switch (or, more accurately, the promise to switch out the bait...) They Aye's should not be so quick to promise a change in leadership unless certain goals are met. The shit needs to be fixed- and if you are not certain that it can be done in the first 100 days, you need to be a better politician and not actually admit it...

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #735 on: September 14, 2020, 02:58:02 AM »
Thank-you. I had to look up castanets... I will add that I think that the video was supposed to be an "equal opportunity feel-good video" aimed at both the right and the left. For the right, we have a gun toting individual holding an arson for the cops. For the left, we have the fact that it is a female... And shes black. It seems like the perfect video for everybody. 

*Also, thank you for clarifying. That person was not going to pass as a woman from any distance unless the observers cataracts were inoperable and they were half blind...

With hair like that?  They both look Mexican to me, probably a family operation for the owner of that twitter account which seems to want to horn in on Andy NGO's business.  Just passed 20K yeah!

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #736 on: September 14, 2020, 03:57:26 AM »
I'm a little concerned with the direction of your campaign. Suddenly, it appears that you are admitting that you might not have all the shit fixed in your first 100 days- that there may still be lots of shit to fix. And yet, you are still promising to leave office.

It is not a bad strategy. However, it seems that the D's have already pretty much used it. You don't have to vote for Joe (unless he appeals to you.) He is old, tired and suffers from dementia. Vote for Kamala instead as we all know that she will be president pretty quick.

No, the D's have cornered the market on the promise of a bait and switch (or, more accurately, the promise to switch out the bait...) They Aye's should not be so quick to promise a change in leadership unless certain goals are met. The shit needs to be fixed- and if you are not certain that it can be done in the first 100 days, you need to be a better politician and not actually admit it...

Easy there, tasty Canadian.  You are not yet a full citizen, but you do hold the reigns of the American Foreign Legion I Corps (CAN):  your citizenship and voting privilege will come in due time.  I expect that to be shortly after Inaugural Festivities, the invite list for that particular fête is rather long:  some of the folks may eschew their RSVPs and elect to "go North" as has been common practice in the past?

WOTR, I hope you will see to it that those, and yourself are present.  I would hate to see all the behind the scenes work already accomplished on the folding chair front for that planned event go to waste.  There WILL be butts in seats at the Inaugural Festival, even if they are not able to attend the banquet and square dance later...

Are you trying to get me to announce publicly that this purely notional and heretofore unexpressed possible Executive Order on the deputization of American Citizens in support of the "Don't Be Stupid" initiative be implemented in advance of the ninety-nine day mark?  That seems rather draconian, and I do appreciate your Zeal;  I hope that the Citizenry that unanimously elects me will have the continued Good Sense to not be stupid.  I only have that measure as an "ace in the hole" should things "go south."

Think of that idea as an implied stick should the actual carrot of my wise, benevolent and just regime be rejected!  It is a thing I am loathe to consider, and frankly somewhat chagrined to reveal.  It is of little consequence;  if anything it was to be a March not an October Surprise...

In any case I will not be voting for Joe or Don, I will vote for pate as any sensible voter should.

....
She is something! Not perhaps as alluring as castanets but with a similar function.

Spoons and castanets, musically what difference do they make?  I suppose it is easier to dance with the castanets, and since they may be played in each hand opportunities for syncopated rhythmic flourishes as accompaniments to subtle movement are greatly increased...

This reminds me of music:

https://youtu.be/6zrwCjjUqs0

https://youtu.be/6913KnbMpHM

https://youtu.be/0WMdfB7ZavY

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #737 on: September 14, 2020, 04:17:36 AM »
there may still be lots of shit to fix.

It is now time to reveal A Plank in The One Platform: self-fixing shit.

Think of the economic savings in shoe leather alone.


Service is the greatest privilege in and of Life.

(CENSORED)/(CENSORED) 2020
"What Who?"

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #738 on: September 15, 2020, 12:45:14 AM »

WOTR, I hope you will see to it that those, and yourself are present.  I would hate to see all the behind the scenes work already accomplished on the folding chair front for that planned event go to waste.  There WILL be butts in seats at the Inaugural Festival, even if they are not able to attend the banquet and square dance later...

Square dance! I mean, I was already going to attend. But now I will show up a full day early to practice with the caller...

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #739 on: September 15, 2020, 01:50:45 AM »
Square dance! I mean, I was already going to attend. But now I will show up a full day early to practice with the caller...

Oh yes, in fact K_Dubb was most insistent on having the Old Number 6 being played at some point:

https://youtu.be/gJdYIqwoJNc

It is going to be a great party!

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #740 on: September 15, 2020, 01:51:54 AM »
It is going to be a great party!

One who sticks one's nose into a beehive, will get more than a nostril full of honey.

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #741 on: September 15, 2020, 01:53:40 AM »
Oh yes, in fact K_Dubb was most insistent on having the Old Number 6 being played at some point:

https://youtu.be/gJdYIqwoJNc

It is going to be a great party!

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"


That was going to be for the traditional dance of the President with the Vice President.  You may lead, of course.  It's only a minute.

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #742 on: September 15, 2020, 01:54:14 AM »
One who sticks one's nose into a beehive, will get more than a nostril full of honey.

Lich-bears can handle it I am certain, aren't you?

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #743 on: September 15, 2020, 01:55:21 AM »
Lich-bears can handle it I am certain, aren't you?

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"


Why do you think I'm trying so hard to save your life? Think, Beth, THINK...

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #744 on: September 15, 2020, 02:04:21 AM »
That was going to be for the traditional dance of the President with the Vice President.  You may lead, of course.  It's only a minute.

Will the arrangement be a modern techno remix version?

We will have to jazz up these "old traditions" for the New Normal...

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"



pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #745 on: September 15, 2020, 02:16:39 AM »
Will the arrangement be a modern techno remix version?

We will have to jazz up these "old traditions" for the New Normal...

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"


Yes!  We can bust out the glow sticks and phat pants.

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #746 on: September 15, 2020, 11:57:44 PM »
Two hundred thirty-nine, Terrible Tuesday
Code: [Select]

Glad that one is over...

I have some thoughts on Cruel and Unusual Punishments.  Also, I would like AG Juan look into the Constitutional Line of Succession office holders, to include anyone outside the Executive Branch, for the past seven Administrations.  Any individuals that held an office, position or posting that put them in the Line of Succession for the Presidency.  It is my firm belief that ALL of these people are responsible for the vast amounts of shit we have to fix.  I believe, in my interpretation of the Constitution that this constitutes Treason and/or High Crimes and Misdemeanors;  so in preparation for the moments immediately following my Swearing in at the Inauguration I would like documents written and ready for immediate execution to the individuals named.

Being a fair and just leader, some of these may be mere formalities that can be immediately dispensed, dismissed or otherwise dealt with as each individual case merits.  With all due respect to Due Process, this needs to be done.  I would include the Carter Administration, but those folks were and still are harmless, toothless and mostly dead already...  I believe I have included all Administrations in power since my birth.  Nixon I may have left out, however, but I don't think many of those cats are alive any more either.

Perhaps the formation of two special Norse-ing Homes for those two Administrations?  That might be fun to watch...

Code: [Select]
Stupid "Double-Enter Auto-Post, eMCee:  fix that shit!
I have said quite enough as there are only seconds left on this Terrible Tuesday.

I thank you all in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #747 on: Yesterday at 09:33:44 AM »
Yes!  We can bust out the glow sticks and phat pants.

The glitter in the darkness of my world.

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #748 on: Yesterday at 09:34:51 AM »
« 07:33:44 »

This doesn't look like any kind of glitter to me.

pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"
« Reply #749 on: Yesterday at 12:04:19 PM »
Two hundred forty, Make Dad Smile On Wednesday
Code: [Select]
Two hundred forty-one, Thursday into Friday
Code: [Select]
"JEWELED ALIEN" : "EYE DEW" : "PLANK, DON'T RUN"
I promised my thoughts on the Cruel and Unusual Punishments initiative, so for lack of anything else to write about and in between current shit-fixes I seem to have a moment or three:

I was driving the other day, and some JOKE of a driver did something stupid to cause some other driver to honk their horn unnecessarily.  When this happens I naturally assume that I did something stupid and look around to see who is honking at me:  usually it is not me at all but some idiot behind the wheel of a 1+ ton juggernaut cart that they have no business driving.  I will not go into the specifics of the particular incident that I saw to protect the clearly guilty (both parties).  Since they interrupted my otherwise happy, pleasant and quite uneventful road journey I decided that as an object lesson to drivers everywhere that they both had earned the death penalty for Reckless Endangerment of Life and Limb while Operating A Vehicle.  I frankly did not care who was "at fault" for the startling, annoying and rage-inducing horn honkery:  for the benefit of Responsible American Drivers they both needed to be sacrificed to provide an object lesson on the "Don't Be Stupid" front.

I briefly contemplated a simple bullet to the back of the head for both of them, but it occurred to me that one (at minimum) of the drivers was a Kansan and the incident happened in Missouri.  This carries the Death by Cruel and Unusual Punishment penalty for the road violation, and Kansans are ALWAYS GUILTY and punishable up to the MAXIMUM EXTENT under Law, especially when they escape the penal State of Kansas and fuck up shit in other states that the Proud Citizens therein must fix.

I think I saw a billboard for a pizza place while I was thinking of a suitable punishment for the Kansan (the other would have just gotten a quick bullet to the back of the head, or if both were Kansans there would be a very special show on Rehabilitation Night);  I also passed a road construction zone where I saw a Steamroller and saw a bluff that very likely might contain a cave (these are all over the place in the Kansas City area.)

The steamroller gave me an idea, but I quickly decided that a slowly decaying corpse embedded into the road would probably result in a pot-hole that would be a Road Hazard on the highway.  The pizza place billboard reminded me of the adjustable Bench Dough roller that I used as a young lad to roll out pizza crusts, and the possible spelunking location reminded me that a human body can fit through any hole that the head can be pushed through, although that may be a bit painful depending on how tight the fit is.  I also decided that I could use a new doormat for my front door for guests to scuff their dirty shoes, boots and/or loafers on.

I think that is about all I have to say on the Cruel and Unusual Punishment thing at this time, although if anyone in the Make America Pate Again campaign desires a lengthier description of that particular one, I would be happy to oblige as thinking about it right now reminds me of some of the ways that this particular one would have several beneficial economic, quality-of-life and general societal benefits.

https://youtu.be/0fjWYjX1EQg

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"