pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"

Started by pate, July 18, 2020, 04:06:34 PM

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Three of the five below are the correct answers, you are invited to choose one. Just remember that the odds are in your flavor, but which is the favorite oddity?

Biden/Harris (D)
2 (7.7%)
pate/K_Dubb (aye)
7 (26.9%)
pate/K_Dubb (eye)
8 (30.8%)
pate/K_Dubb (I)
5 (19.2%)
Trump/Pence (R)
4 (15.4%)

Total Members Voted: 26

Voting closed: November 23, 2020, 09:01:44 PM

WOTR

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 31, 2020, 11:00:17 AM
A brilliant policy to revitalize American confectionery!  We certainly have the almonds in abundance, and I have long been making marzipan out of almond flour at home, formulated to my taste which, I must say, rivals the best Luebecker.

I do not understand why we have not created an alpine paradise in this country out of some neglected patch of trackless mountains, to string them up with cable-cars and nutcracker workshops and confectionaries churning out high-quality American-made candy to be sold to Europe at a premium the way they have been fleecing us for generations.

Great. Now you are going to send me on a hunt for a recipe? I used to have one that included a little rose water, sugar, almond flour, and... I just cannot seem to recall now. It went into the Christmas Stollen.

K_Dubb

Quote from: WOTR on August 31, 2020, 04:45:53 PM
Great. Now you are going to send me on a hunt for a recipe? I used to have one that included a little rose water, sugar, almond flour, and... I just cannot seem to recall now. It went into the Christmas Stollen.

The basic recipe is equal parts powdered sugar and almond flour flavored to taste (almond and/or rum extracts, rosewater, orange blossom water -- anything you want) moistened with enough egg white to create a moldable paste.  The good Luebecker stuff like Carstens and Neideregger is barely flavored if at all and much less sweet indicating a greater measure of almond flour.  We tend to like a strong almond flavor but the further south you go they use more rum or kirsch in it.  The English tend to go overboard with the rosewater.

pate

Two hundred twenty-five, Terrible Tuesday"JEWELED ALIEN"

I just woke up from a really weird dream, which I think I will attempt to describe instead of the Thought Experiment that occurred to me during Basic Lawn Maintenance this morning.  Before I get into this dream, I want to touch on this new Thought Experiment a little bit.

I was attempting a relatively simple mechanical process that I repeat every two-weeks or so, but takes an in-ordinate amount of time to complete because apparently I am "re-inventing the wheel" each iteration.  I decided to do a very rough mathematical model of the process just to get down the details of it all so it would save time in the future:  apparently my warped brain turned this "relatively simple" problem into a multi-dimensional one that involved string-theory somehow.  THAT process took a lot longer than simply re-inventing the wheel for the Xth thyme, but after I finished the preliminary sketch was quite revelatory:  and might have some potential applications far beyond the original scope of the Thought Experiment.

The dream I am about to describe may, or may not, be related to this Thought Experiment.  Realize that what I am about to write is based on some notes I made about said dream upon waking up about an hour ago, those notes were very fragmentary but captured the "gist" of the dream.  I am going to flesh out the "negative spaces" left in my notes with my equally devious waking mind.

In the dream I am a caterer;  I am currently on a job that involves serving a bunch of rich douche-bag types that do not like spending money on such affairs.  I will call them the noveau riche, who are also my principals in this affair.

The economic conditions locally at the job, and in a vague sort of way in the world outside of the local job are, to be polite;  "not ideal."  The food, since I am the caterer:  is of course impeccable, but apparently my choice of staff left something to be desired with the guests and ultimately the principal.

My recollection of the dream begins with the principal having a side-bar with me while a few Karenesque mildly horrified guest attendees are looking on.

"You are going to have to find new waitstaff," he whispered frantically.  "They are frightening the guests."

"Of course, sir," I replied.  "I will do so immediately, but in order to not disrupt your fete any further I will direct them to first set up a buffet table so that your guests may serve themselves.  I do not think I can find new staff on such short notice, so this is perhaps the best course of action available to us due to this unfortunate circumstance.  Please, continue with your event and I will attempt to rectify this situation as discretely as I am able to prevent further disruption."

I am of course quite peeved at the principal, as the staff I had recently found were quite unique and I considered myself incredibly lucky to have reached a suitable arrangement for keeping them in my employ.  As a professional, I could not let these thoughts get in the way of finishing out the job in an expedient manner that would amuse the host and perhaps if my luck continued mollify my new-hires that I really wanted to keep on for future endeavors.

Apparently, prior to my recollection of the events of the dream;  I had found these new-hires recently laid-off, let go or otherwise dismissed from their normal activities.  They had a leader of sorts, as they operated together under a loose hierarchical system that I somewhat understood.  It was to this individual now holding a tray of hors d'oeuvres that I snaked my way through the somewhat wide-eyed crowd that parted Red Sea-like before me.

"Hey, have your people set up a buffet with the remaining food and come with me, we have to talk,"  I said.

After handing off the tray of hors d'oeuvres to one of his people and issuing some brief and precise instructions the leader of my new-hires followed me to an out-of-the-way corner of the party, probably somewhere around the kitchen:  I am not sure as I wasn't paying attention to the scenery for some reason at this point.

"What is going on," he asks me.

"Our principal is apparently not satisfied with the performance of you and yours and has demanded that I replace you,"  I tell him.  "I am going to have to release you from your obligation on this job, but I feel bad about it so I am going to make up to you and yours out of my own pocket the tips I believe you deserve for signing onto this job.  I will still pay you what we agreed on and hope that we may work together in the future?"

The leader looked me in the eye, the light in his dimming slightly and his body slumped just in the slightest hint of momentary defeat.  Then the light came back to his eyes, and he straightened up a bit, and looking me in the eyes said, "Very well.  I understand.  So as soon as we have finished setting up the buffet table, we are released from our obligation to this principal?"

"Yessir," I reply.

"I look forward to working with you in the future," he replies.  Then, the now gentle KillBot v2.31a resignedly walked into the slightly jittery crowd trying to stay away from the rapidly assembling buffet table being set up by four other KillBots who I believe were the v2.30 versions.

It was at this point that I woke up and realized that I needed to get today started on the Make America Pate Again campaign goals for today.

Anyway, that was a pretty funny dream.  I figure that will have to suffice for a fix to the shit for now.  I will probably discuss the Thought Experiment I had yesterday morning at some point in the future.  I made some really neat notes and diagrams about it, and although the original problem had nothing to do with black holes it occurred to me later on in the day that it actually might!  No idea if this is a novel Thought Experiment to the world, but it sure was to me.  Quite enlightening, I look forward to writing about it!

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"


pate

Two hundred twenty six, Make Dad Smile On Wednesday"PLANK, DON'T RUN" : "JEWELED ALIEN" : "TRIUMVIRATE ARCH"

Yesterday, which I note was a Terrible Tuesday, I used the last couple feet of mint waxed dental floss I had on hand, which would have been fine but that shit broke before I finished flossing all my teeth.  My dental hygiene was put into Jeopardy by some weak ass shit that I intend to fix.  Before anyone gets alarmed about my damn near perfect teeth and their health, be it known that I have an emergency supply of un-waxed floss that I keep in the kitchen for the primary purpose of cutting softer cheeses into perfect slices for hors d'oeuvres, sandwiches or Captain's Wafer snack crackers that I can also tap into when dental emergencies such as this crop up from time to time.

I normally purchase the waxed mint floss in 5 or 6 packs, as I tend to go through a lot of that shit, my perfect teeth are so tightly packed in my head that it is normal in one session of flossing to have as many as four dental floss tensile strength failures.  Very often this results in the necessity of dispensing an extra couple of feet to finish the job at hand:  that shit is wasteful dammit, and I want it fixed!  My precious time is better spent doing things other than buying a new roll of dental floss every week, or even making a trip to a big box wholesaler to purchase that shit in bulk.

Today I came up with an idea that will not only fix that shit, but will help Make America Pate Again by advancing the cause of "Cheap Access To Space." 

Every household that cares about dental hygiene will have a small machine installed on premises that will dispense Carbon-Nanotube Dental Floss on an on-demand basis.  When these machines are not in use dispensing Carbon-Nanotube Dental Floss for proper personal dental hygienic purposes, they will shunt their production to building the many miles of câblage required for the five or more Space Elevators that we are going to build to fix this "Cheap Access To Space" shit.

This may be a project that will have to fall outside of the first 100 days initiative, however, as the infrastructure, research and development may take a little while.  Especially if SecSpace and Sub-ChairCommerce/DirNIST don't get off their asses;  I have no idea what sort of shit they are fixing right now but this new Grate Idea is probably bigger shit.  I call on them to help K_Dubb attend to this vital national effort in the days after my inevitable Presidential resignation and return to my beloved People's Free Democratic Republic of pate.

This type of synergistic, broad and encompassing fix to some complicated shit is what the Make America Pate Again campaign consistently brings to America's ever-growing, expansive and nutritious national banquet table.  Some music that is both topical and much needed for this page of the thread:

https://youtu.be/GRhYzh2bpiI

https://youtu.be/ej1WBFPzkOU

https://youtu.be/2DbTp4t4gNA

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"



SpaceMeowMaid

Quote from: pate on September 02, 2020, 09:23:51 AM
Two hundred twenty six, Make Dad Smile On Wednesday"PLANK, DON'T RUN" : "JEWELED ALIEN" : "TRIUMVIRATE ARCH"

perfect teeth  My precious time

This type of synergistic

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"




All this string everywhere! Great plan man, dispensers of floss installed in American homes.. May I suggest a water flosser? Water pic is how we take care of the "perfect" teeth in Jackstar's Temple


pate

Two hundred twenty-seven, Thursday Into Friday"JEWELED ALIEN" : "PLANK, DON'T RUN"

Quote from: SpaceMeowMaid on September 02, 2020, 11:52:40 AM
All this string everywhere! Great plan man, dispensers of floss installed in American homes.. May I suggest a water flosser? Water pic is how we take care of the "perfect" teeth in Jackstar's Temple

I do not see how a dental water-pic will assist in the effort to gain reliable, cheap and low-energy access to space.  Granted, you can split the water molecule into hydrogen and oxygen gasses so that you can then recombine them in chemical reaction to provide thrust.  This has always seemed to be a waste of energy;  maybe if we had the Liquid Thorium Nuclear reactors which would yield more electricity than we currently have for the splitting of water molecules, still seems like a waste.

A carbon nano-fiber space elevator, while expensive to develop and build;  would eventually pay for itself by giving greater access to the vast amount of resources just floating around in the solar system, so I think the plan to install Carbon Nano-Tube Dental Floss dispensers in every household is a better bet.  Rather than relying on "pure research" to produce the unicorn of carbon nano-tubes, the market and the consumer demands of the market will be a greater impetus to breakthroughs in design, efficiency and reliability of Carbon Nano-Tube development.

I will probably need to have a speech prepared along the John F. Kennedy "...we choose to do fix these things this shit not because they are it is easy, but because they are it is hard..."

I imagine, JaxT has that entire speech memorized and has several digital transcripts of it at his disposal, so it would be quite simple for him to go ahead and follow my lead in the above sample sentence to twist the original speech into a Make America Pate Again barn-buster whistle-stop campaign stump speech.

https://youtu.be/HUL_zILXi0Q

https://youtu.be/mPyqJrd3I3w

https://youtu.be/e-PmQ3dFQvs

Wow, that last one was so "What The Actual Fuck?" I had to put it in there, probably on the Shitty Flute/Gaybomb Music List.  Holy shit.

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

SpaceMeowMaid

Quote from: pate on September 03, 2020, 01:04:48 PM
Two hundred twenty-seven, Thursday Into Friday"JEWELED ALIEN" : "PLANK, DON'T RUN"

I do not see how a dental water-pic will assist in the effort to gain reliable, cheap and low-energy access to space.  Granted, you can split the water molecule into hydrogen and oxygen gasses so that you can then recombine them in chemical reaction to provide thrust. 



I imagine, JaxT has that entire speech memorized and has several digital transcripts of it at

Wow, that last one was so "What The Actual Fuck?" I had to put it in there, probably on the Shitty Flute/Gaybomb Music List.  Holy shit.

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

That thorium is looking good, and thank you again for that video ago. Currently, not sure what the status of campaign speeches may be as his master slumbers.
Water is Life for the Merfolk. Cats are indifferent desert creatures by design, and I suppose that is why I can exist not being allowed to swim currently although it is killing me.
I thoroughly enjoyed the music. Especially that last one for the pure oddity indeed. Perfect find for a full moon. Full moon, big bottom, whatever. Does my fat ass make me look fat? KEK I will have what they are having please? ;)

#RubiniMagic #Sparkleinthedream #Timetravelwithus #MakeAmericaPateAgain #PateandKDubb2020 #MermaidLivesMatter #WaterisLife #Watchthewater

pate

Two hundred twenty-eight, Friday (FSS Three Day Weekend, FFS)"JEWELED ALIEN" : "EYE DEW": "PLANK, DON'T RUN": "SOYLENT PURPLE HAMBURGLAR" : "OVER ARCHON"

Fungi through their mycelium seem to have some ability to de-toxify soil and soil substrates, it may be a Good Idea to use magical mushroom technology to clean up some of these SuperFund sites.  "Humongous Fungus Among Us" sounds like a fun name for this project, I do not think we should solely limit the scope of this program to industrial clean-up purposes.  I find mushrooms to be very delicious, nutritive and wholesome when properly prepared for provision.  There are also recreational uses for the modest fungi, under which I have always classed yeasts which may be used for both bread-making and beer-making.

The identification of useful strains of Fungi for all sorts of shit that needs fixing should really be a National Priority, I think both of my political opponents are quite lax in addressing this often overlooked but potentially quite useful avenue for Research and Development.  Once again, the Make America Pate Again campaign brings to the National Spotlight yet another synergistic, holistic and all-encompassing solution to the myriad piles of shit that this country desperately needs fixed.

With the fungi we may even be able to put this national and world-wide bugbear known as the Corona19.5 virus into the "long sleep" that it truly deserves and merits.  That will surely require some further study, as an increase in airborne fungal spores may necessitate the wearing of masks for human health concerns.  We probably want to avoid finding a "cure" that is worse than the "disease," which could be quite easy in the case of this Corona19.5 virus as it seems to be pretty much "nothing" to get all bent out of shape about.

That is all, Carrie Anne!

Quote from: SpaceMeowMaid on September 03, 2020, 04:52:59 PM
... pure oddity indeed. Perfect find for a full moon. Full moon,..

The first of the following I found to be quite the oddity, but enjoyable:

https://youtu.be/BlJzE5p9cFA

https://youtu.be/zPwMdZOlPo8

https://youtu.be/_9bx5h0FpCg

MurMaiden, consider the above to be my personal "Full Moon" to you.  Why I sometimes associate a "Full Moon" with "Baboon Buttocks" is unclear to me, please refer this query to JaX to see if he has any Illuminative thoughts on the matter.

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"



Jackstar

Quote from: pate on September 04, 2020, 12:29:23 PM
put this national and world-wide bugbear known as the Corona19.5 virus into the "long sleep" that it truly deserves and merits.  That will surely require some further study,

The last virus was captured weeks ago and has been singing like a bird ever since. Turns out waterboarding works on the 'Rona as well. Who would have thought?

So as can be surmised from this information, there's really no threat from the bioweapon anymore. Now, it's just the usual fascist horse dick. Expect this to be admitted to in the mainstream media at exactly Never O'clock tonight.

I don't care if you people believe me or not; I still don't want any Punylings coughing on me. 6 feet of separation, Fuckos--get those lil' legs movin'.

https://youtu.be/w15F4r09Pro



(REDACTED)/(CENSORED) 2020
"If we told you, we'd have to fake your death"
"Don't think we don't do that kind of thing"


pate

Quote from: Jackstar on September 04, 2020, 04:18:10 PM
...
https://youtu.be/w15F4r09Pro
...

Little known fact:  That video is what most people point to when asked,  "Can you show us on the doll where MJ hurt you?"

Dammit JaX, now I must forever live with the shame of having experienced that.  We are going to need to speed up R&D on this "Memory Hole" thing, and I think I need several beers to cope with the experience.

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Jackstar

Quote from: pate on September 04, 2020, 08:17:00 PM
We are going to need to speed up R&D on this "Memory Hole" thing, and I think I need several beers to cope with the experience.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDlB2P1leRM


(REDACTED)/(CENSORED) 2020
"If we told you, we'd have to fake your death"
"Don't think we don't do that kind of thing"

WOTR

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 31, 2020, 05:06:35 PM
The basic recipe is equal parts powdered sugar and almond flour flavored to taste (almond and/or rum extracts, rosewater, orange blossom water -- anything you want) moistened with enough egg white to create a moldable paste.  The good Luebecker stuff like Carstens and Neideregger is barely flavored if at all and much less sweet indicating a greater measure of almond flour.  We tend to like a strong almond flavor but the further south you go they use more rum or kirsch in it.  The English tend to go overboard with the rosewater.
Interesting. I know my Oma used some rosewater (and she's German through and through.) Having said that, maybe she was actually a double agent for the British in the war?  ;) I'm pretty certain that there was more almond than sugar. But then she used most of it in Stollen and I know there was more sugar in that.

I did find a recipe that resembled hers back some time ago (and she had told me what she had put in it.) But I will have to look at your suggestions. It might be interesting with some rum for the stollen.

pate

Two hundred twenty-nine, Saturday FSS Three Day Weekend, FFS FFSM FOUR Day Weakend, FourFreakyFucksSake!"JEWELED ALIEN" : "METHUSULA PROGENY" : "TRIUMVIRATE ARCH"



Lordy people, this is going to be a tough slog-through of a weekend.  I blame the Communists.  We must put on our brave game-faces and resignedly find small bamboo umbrellas for our libations;  without martyring ourselves we must get out in the streets and show these Marxists how true pateriots keep level heads, unspilled beers clasped tightly in hot little hands and unvanquished smiling visages facing the Rising Red Tide.

We will be vict'rous by the narrowest of dog hairs if needs necessitate!

However deep the cups become, we must tread water lightly and wait patiently for the SAR mission to find us;  this is the path to salvation when you are forced to wear hip-waders for the deep shit you are trying to fix.

I believe I have waited long enough to give the Orders Of The Day to ensure that it is indeed Five O'clock everywhere!

You all know what to do, or I would not have you on the team!

Hear, some musaks:

https://youtu.be/yLDPagAg5qw

https://youtu.be/fb_S4aWI6Og

https://youtu.be/eu0KsZ_MVBc

https://youtu.be/oIIxlgcuQRU

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"



SpaceMeowMaid

Quote from: pate on September 04, 2020, 12:29:23 PM
Two hundred twenty-eight, Friday (FSS Three Day Weekend, FFS)"JEWELED ALIEN" : "EYE DEW": "PLANK, DON'T RUN": "SOYLENT PURPLE HAMBURGLAR" : "OVER ARCHON"

Fungi through their mycelium seem to have some ability to de-toxify soil and soil SuperFund sites.  "Humongous Fungus Among Us"  There are also recreational uses for the modest fungi

The first of the following I found to be quite the oddity, but enjoyable:

https://youtu.be/BlJzE5p9cFA

https://youtu.be/zPwMdZOlPo8

https://youtu.be/_9bx5h0FpCg

MurMaiden, consider the above to be my personal "Full Moon" to you.  Why I sometimes associate a "Full Moon" with "Baboon Buttocks" is unclear to me, please refer this query to JaX to see if he has any Illuminative thoughts on the matter.

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"


I genuinely enjoy your musical shares:)
I'm impressed with your forward thoughts and surprised to consider the concept of fungi for premeditation. I suppose it would not be phyto though... Hmmm

I hope you are enjoying the escape from labor.

SpaceMeowMaid

Quote from: SpaceMeowMaid on September 05, 2020, 06:56:34 PM
I genuinely enjoy your musical shares:)
I'm impressed with your forward thoughts and surprised to consider the concept of fungi for premeditation. I suppose it would not be phyto though... Hmmm

I hope you are enjoying the escape from labor.

PHYTOREMEDIATION!!! Fuckoff Autospell. GEEZ. Now I have to go eat oysters. xo

pate

Two hundred thirty, Sunday FSS Three Day Weekend, FFSFSSM Four Day Weakend, FFS[/s]"JEWELED ALIEN"

Quote from: SpaceMeowMaid on September 05, 2020, 06:56:34 PM
... I suppose it would not be phyto though...

Mycoremediation would be the term you were looking for.

---

I am going to punt Sunday into Monday, which is as usual cancelled;  tomorrow the cancellation will be especially fitting as it is a Marxist holiday.  I like days off, but not Communism so that puts a bit of a taint on the big Four Day Weekend.  I think that "Labor Day" should be re-branded to something that does not have the vile stench of Socialism.  That can of shit may also be kicked down the road a little further and we can fix it later.

Some more Muzaks:

https://youtu.be/ID-DEJryG8M

https://youtu.be/mR9WJSX9pnU

https://youtu.be/yrPCIXnefLU

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Jackstar

Quote from: SpaceMeowMaid on September 05, 2020, 06:56:34 PM
I hope you are enjoying the escape from labor.

"What are you gonna do?"
"I'm gonna record all the noise."
"Oh, yeah?"
"Well, you know, actually, right here in this neighborhood, we
Don't have a heck of a lot of noise...
(No, we don't either.)
Um, because uh, well, you know, there's, the big city isn't around here,
(Oh sure) and once, we do hear somebody shoot off a (yeah)
Couple of guns in the distance, and somebody rattles some tin cans or
Something, and that's about all. So, it's very quiet here..."
"Whoah, look out, here I come!"
"Michael
Jackson ... look what you've done!"
MICHAEL JACKSON
"You've spattered mud all over my dress with your old bicycle!"
PAUL MCCARTNEY AND MICHAEL JACKSON
"Gee Carol, those mud stains'll never wash out."
BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN
"Oh, Jean, what am I going to do?"
VAN HALEN
"Oh, I'm sorry, Carol, you were too close."
TINA TURNER
"Sorry? What good does THAT do?"
DAVID BOWIE
"You know you aren't supposed to be riding your bike during lunch hour."
PRINCE
MADONNA
HUEY LEWIS AND THE NEWS
THE CARS
HERBIE HANCOCK
BONNIE TYLER
ZZ TOP
"WEIRD" AL YANKOVIC
CYNDI ... LOOPER
PINK FLOYD
THE PRETENDERS
BILLY JOEL
BILLY IDOL
ELTON JOHN
NEIL YOUNG
SHEENA EASTON
JOHN LENNON
THE ALAN PARSONS PROJECT
RICK SPRINGFIELD
THE ROLLING STONES
PAT BENATAR
HALL AND OATES
ADAM ANT
QUEEN
JOHN COUGAR MELLENCAMP
FLEETWOOD MAC
DURAN DURAN
POLICE
EURYTHMICS
CULTURE CLUB INCLUDING BOY GEORGE
KENNY ROGERS
STEVIE WONDER
J. IGLESIAS AND DIANA ROSS
DONNA SUMMER
DEAN MARTIN
KISS
AND WE ESPECIALLY CALL FOR THE JUDGMENT IN THIS HOUR AND THE
DESTROYING OF
ROCK MUSIC DIRECTED SPECIFICALLY AGAINST CHILDREN
AND WORKING SPECIFICALLY THROUGH THESE INDIVIDUALS
FOR WHOM WE CALL FOR THE JUDGMENT IN THE SACRED FIRE IN THIS HOUR
BEFORE
THE THRONE OF ALMIGHTY GOD

"Whoah, look out, here I come!"



(REDACTED)/(CENSORED) 2020
"If we told you, we'd have to fake your death"
"Don't think we don't do that kind of thing"
"Like in that movie Freejack, did you ever see that? Rene Russo is ON FIRE"

Jackstar

Quote from: SpaceMeowMaid on September 05, 2020, 08:47:30 PM
Fuckoff Autospell.

I'll be honest: I thought she called me "Jackstar," but "Autospell" has a pretty fucking nice ring to it, that's for sure. I'd have to get new hankies monogrammed, but... probably worth it.

pate

Hah, JaX!

So I goggle "Hell and Oats" to see what shakes loose from the Apple tree, it 'twas thus:

https://youtu.be/QodGtTU69uQ

High Larry Us!

-p

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

pate

Two hundred thirty-one, MondayCommunist Day"OVER ARCHON" : "SPITZ FIREDUST" : "JEWELED ALIEN

This four day weakened of simultaneously fighting Communism and maintaining proper libation levels for Morale purposes is really taxing my personal economy.  But that is shit to fix on another day!

I seem to recall that I had promised to write about a recent Thought Experiment that was undertaken for truly mundane reasons, but on further reflection seemed to be a novel bonne idée, at least to my clearly uneducated mind.

I reviewed my notes and have decided due to State Security reasons that only the first page of the document could be released under the FOCUO classification system;  and that page needed to be somewhat redacted in order to preserve continuity of the progress currently observed.  I am reluctant to even share this much, but in the spirit of Transparency I feel that I must.

Without further adieux:

[attachment=1,msg1419228]

The above should not be viewed as Canon as it was simply a first-order approximation of the specific problem at hand;  in a more general sense if both dim(a) and dim(b) are treated as simple three-dimensional spheres that share continuity with respect to string(loop) where f{dim(b)}(string{loop}) is considered the lower threshold of a stable black-hole event-horizon and abs|f{dim(a)}(string{loop, ... , loop+∞})| represents the min/max threshold of an event-horizon using theoretical estimates of all mass in the universe that just maybe there exists a possibility of stable wormholes that may be used for travel across vast distances.

For certain, I have proved that it is possible to put a trash-bag in a bucket in such a manner that the dog-shit contained within does not contaminate the "outside" of the bag (this is actually shown on page two of the work, which I have not elected to share) so that when the shit-bag is full one's hands need not be filthified in the removal of said shit-bag to the curb.

Now that I think of it, I also surmised that both dim(a) and dim(b) could be treated as two-dimensional "branes" that are distorted by a gravity well, and the string(loop) could be treated as the "real number" line (one dimensional, {0, ... ,∞}) for further goof-ball mathematical manipulations.

Apogees for the grainy nature of the photograph;  this is due to PFRDP State Security protocol regarding intentional internal industrial espionage and has nothing whatsoever to do with the MAPA programme.

I am certain that I have said too much. 

In order to distract the reader from this fact I will provide some muzak to befuddle the brane:

https://youtu.be/qexS5hBB1C0

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"



pate

Two hundred thirty-two, Terrible Tuesday"JEWELED ALIEN" : "PLANK, DON'T RUN" : "TRIUMVIRATE ARCH"

Glad that one is over.  I think I will ban Aluminum cookware, but it will still be allowed for beer cans because they put a plastic liner in that shit.  That probably needs an official name, I will fix that shit later.

Quote from: Jackstar on September 08, 2020, 04:04:12 AM
It's an older, meme, SIR, but... it checks out.

https://youtu.be/9rPlWUjhBlo?t=0

Is that from one of the Hellraiser movies or something?  I thought I had seen all of those already, must be another straight-to-dvd/digital media ones that I wasn't informed of.  I will be sure to review it:  I find the newer ones put me right to sleep after about a half hour, which is nice;  the dreams can get a bit weird though.

Speaking of dreams, I need to get to sleep.  I can dream about the shit I am going to fix tomorrow!

https://youtu.be/ha3QivnjbIU

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"



Jackstar

Quote from: pate on September 08, 2020, 09:39:14 PM
Is that from one of the Hellraiser movies or something? [...] Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyaNhr61QQY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsV9J6Wb91w

pate

Two hundred thirty-three, Make Dad Smile On Wednesday"PLANK, DON'T RUN" : "EYE DEW" : "JEWELED ALIEN"

Chiefs vs Texans tomorrow, Red Tide!  Sounds Communist, but they are the home team.  As usual, K_Dubb will be nominally in charge tomorrow while I enjoy festivities and perhaps fix some shit that may or may not be personal in nature.

That is not the shit I logged in to fix, however.

I ran into an Executive Chef at the Sam's Club today that was apparently buying a few items for his restaurant.  Young, clean-cut and douchey looking:  probably one of the many reasons I am no longer work in the restaurant world.  Still, I spoke to the guy for a second in the line where they check your receipts to get out.  His place was allegedly "cajun," so I asked him if he used fresh live crawfish.  Nope.  Probably uses that frozen shit from Vietnam that they aquaculture in human feces fertilized rice paddies, fucking gross, I would fix that shit.

Crawfish ought to be relatively easy to aqua-culture in a similar manner that the shit-fish Tilapia is;  hell you could probably feed your crawfish with some Tilapia fry among other things.  I would like to end the practice of importing literal shitty crawfish from Asia:  I believe American grown crawfish would be superior in flavor, size and freshness.  "Crawfish Are Delish" or something like that, probably needs something in there to indicate that they are home-grown?  "Domestic Crawfish Are Delish";  shit I don't know:  somebody help me fix that!

So that is about it for now.  I am pressed for time as I really need to turn this half-gallon of milk into Ricotta today before it is too late.

Hear are the Musak selections of the day, enjoy:

https://youtu.be/-caUGE_iv6A

https://youtu.be/SUj5EX4b5Ig

https://youtu.be/NU9JoFKlaZ0

I thought the following was appropriate:

https://youtu.be/1D5PtyrewSs

But apparently there is some sort of Mandelbrot Affect going on with that particular one as it doesn't seem to fit with the other three due to a certain Transubstantiation in the lyrics in the current reality I am experiencing, Nautical Shore.

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"


 

pate

Two hundred thirty-four, Thursday Into Friday"SOYLENT PURPLE HAMBURGLAR" : "JEWELED ALIEN" : "TRIUMVIRATE ARCH" : "PLANK, DON'T RUN"

I have to say I like K_Dubb's idea about how to fix the old folk's home thing:

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 08, 2020, 10:23:34 PM
...Yes, storm the Norse Home, set up a commune with Trumpet Man for the elderly, much like your Dutch Potemkin village except with mead halls and feasting, run on the principles of primitive anarchy.  Launch raids across the lake in fast ships crewed by geriatrics on Bellevue and Medina for designer luggage and flowery shirts and cigars.

I really like the re-naming of the Nursing Home to the "Norse Home" is there such a word as "Norseing?"  "Norse-ing Home" sounds awesome, I know I would much rather spend my final years in such a place as this.

I suppose in the interest of diversity, perhaps other culturally appropriate themed "Norse-ing Homes" should be created as well.  Of course, I would want them to be in keeping with the Warrior Ethos so my recommendations will fall along those lines:  Zulu, Maori, Berber, Hun, Mongol, Visigoth, classic Greco-Roman, Pict, Persian, Tartar &c.  That list is by no means exhaustive.

I envision roaming bands of senior citizens that may create alliances for greater efficiency in raids, or may engage in intratribal warfare with one another over territorial raiding rights.  I think this might help to ease the tensions that we are currently seeing, as our wizened elders will be the ones entrusted to settle perceived historical slights.  I think we will have to enact laws that limit the participation of Americans in this practice to those over the age of 65;  lest youthful exuberance in support of purported "Causes" results in greater more unmanageable acts of property destruction, theft and general mayhem.

If only this programme were already in place, both my political opponents Biden & Trump would be occupied in more entertaining pursuits at their respective retirement communities rather than facing their inevitable political defeat by standing against the Make America Pate Again campaign.

I have said quite enough for now, as this is my titular day off.

Musaks, hear:

https://youtu.be/rldAZtiXbB0

https://youtu.be/rKO1bQ5UYss

https://youtu.be/vRu4SXLLBMY

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

pate

Two hundred thirty-five, Friday (FSS Three Day Weekend, FFS)"JEWELED ALIEN" : "METHUSULA PROGENY"

Red-Tide rising.

I think we have perfected drone technology to the point where we could crash a couple or fifty into the tallest buildings of any enemy nation-states that have managed to build such things.  I think China has a bunch of empty ones that they built for mysterious Communist reasons that could be targeted.  Surely the NORKs have some sort of mud-hut that is over ten stories?  And Iran, let's not even get started...

This may lose me a couple of multi-votes, but I would like to see all future Patriot Days celebrated by the crashing of remote-controlled Boeing 777 drones into anything approaching a sky-scraper in any of the countries on the Make America Pate Again "Shit-Country To Fix" list.  I honestly do not care if it was an inside job or not at this point, because, what difference does it make?

It can be sort of like those "Purge" movies that I intend to watch for shits and giggles someday.

Anyhow, this programme in the Make America Pate Again initiative will probably have to fall under the (eye) Party & associated Shadow Government Departments.  Probably we will need to beef up our "Star Wars" program a bit to deal with any foolish retaliations that these "Shit-Countries To Fix" may attempt.

I think today is a good day for America to be allowed to send random, ambiguous and surprising messages to any saber rattling dictatorial regimes in the world.  It can be part of the New Normal.

This may seem Wrathful, and perhaps it is:  but it sure would make me, and I believe;  a high multiple of the American electoral multi-vote feel better.  I figure anyone that doesn't like it can be either be deported to Australia or granted Kansas citizenship and be transported to either of those respective locations.

Hee-arrrr are some completely unrelated muzackal selections for the day:

https://youtu.be/KAEgvswvvo0

https://youtu.be/-sn2yZUfCmo

https://youtu.be/ruNrdmjcNTc

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"



pate

Two hundered thirty-six, Saturday (FSS Three Day Weekend, FFS)"JEWELED ALIEN" : "SPITZ FIREDUST" : "OVER ARCHON"

Quote from: WOTR on August 11, 2020, 01:50:31 PM
It appears that your anitifa brethren have made a mistake on the dates. I thought you were laying seige to the white house after you and Pate were elected. You should probably have them "fix this shit", and issue a correction notice for the proper date.



I guess it is time for the Make America Pate Again campaign to go ahead and begin planning the logistic movements, quartermaster provisioning and tactical response planning for this event.  I think the logistic portion of this falls within the (eye) Party realm;  the provisioning of Mission Essential equipment and provision within the (aye) Party branch and the ultimate tactical response planning (and anything else we forget about) will of course will be under the (I) Party leadership.

My limited intel through both OpenSource, {CLASSIFIED} and HumInt indicates that this "antifa" planned event has been pushed out a little farther?  As I understand it, the date is no longer 17SEP2020 but 25SEP2020?  I would recommend the following:


    establish a MAPA Forward Observation element NLT 15AUG2020
    suitable civilian "first aid volunteer" uniforms
    supply of urine bags disguised as .5L IV Saline Solution Bags, discretely marked with RED SHARPIE
    supply of .5L IV Solution Bags, and associated medical equipment kit
    basic Medic Field First Aid kit
    establish no fewer than THREE FOB redoubts within .5 to .75 miles with C&C capability
    primary C&C location within .75 to 1.5 miles of one of the three FOBs location{FOCUO:  SECRET}
    withdrawal transportation plan & reserve vehicles
    no fewer than FIVE rally points on a 2.0 mile radius
    several "Last Chance, Sauve Qui Peut" rally points 3+ miles away in all directions
    MAPA personnel SHALL have supplies required for a two day dismounted field march in any direction away from the epicenter:  HOBO UNIFORM protocol:  MODERATE TEMP

I am sure that the above list is by no means exhaustive.  It may please MAPA volunteers to bring along any of the official Make America Pate Again political signage for Campaign Promotion purposes, but that is not a requirement.  It will, however be noted for award of additional plums.  Primarily, this should be a grass-roots Campaign Promotion opportunity to introduce potential votes and/or multi-votes to the Make America Pate Again ideals.

I will be busy fixing other shit, so I will unfortunately not be able to attend the festivities.  If there are any pate or K_Dubb body-doubles, doppelgängers and or duplicates within the MAPA ranks they are encouraged to attend and make spectacles of themselves:  creativity, improvisation and hyperbole are indicated for those individuals.

I believe I have said enough to get everyone started on fixing this potential shit-show, which I fully expect to be a "Nothing Burger":  there is a very low probability that this event will require any official MAPA campaign involvement, but assets in place seems to be a prudent idea.

Jay-sus, half of my Saturday is now gone.  I have some important shit to fix today!

Hear:

https://youtu.be/EG6ZlCpfVvU

https://youtu.be/Nggqe-L9ZQ8

https://youtu.be/9ZDAYg196x8

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

K_Dubb

Dear sir,

You have command of all the latest intel on our West Coast operations.   The siege of the White House has been delayed in light of favorable weather conditions here in the Tri-State Coastal region composed of Commiefornia, the Socialist Utopia of Oregon, and the People's Republic of Washington where I have cleverly turned my comrades' attention to Burning This Motherfucker Down.  Even now, with hot shirtless viking trumpeters sounding alarms as the sun balefully glares an apocalyptic glowing red orb through the roiling billows of smoke and ashfall, shit is getting fixed left and right and MAGA chuds and Democrats alike are making for the ocean like lemmings.

I am sorry to report that I am out of plums, having denuded the neighbor's trees, though I am well-founded in coffee and a fresh run at the spekkoek is in the offing.  If you have any plums to spare I will gladly relieve you of them and will try not to tart them up too much hahahaha what a joke I am perfectly slain.

Yours faithfully, Kdubb

Silphion

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 12, 2020, 12:24:42 PM
Dear sir,

You have command of all the latest intel on our West Coast operations.   The siege of the White House has been delayed in light of favorable weather conditions here in the Tri-State Coastal region composed of Commiefornia, the Socialist Utopia of Oregon, and the People's Republic of Washington where I have cleverly turned my comrades' attention to Burning This Motherfucker Down.  Even now, with hot shirtless viking trumpeters sounding alarms as the sun balefully glares an apocalyptic glowing red orb through the roiling billows of smoke and ashfall, shit is getting fixed left and right and MAGA chuds and Democrats alike are making for the ocean like lemmings.

I am sorry to report that I am out of plums, having denuded the neighbor's trees, though I am well-founded in coffee and a fresh run at the spekkoek is in the offing.  If you have any plums to spare I will gladly relieve you of them and will try not to tart them up too much hahahaha what a joke I am perfectly slain.

Yours faithfully, Kdubb

The epistolary delights of BG, most welcome in these droll times

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