pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"

Started by pate, July 18, 2020, 04:06:34 PM

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Three of the five below are the correct answers, you are invited to choose one. Just remember that the odds are in your flavor, but which is the favorite oddity?

Biden/Harris (D)
2 (7.7%)
pate/K_Dubb (aye)
7 (26.9%)
pate/K_Dubb (eye)
8 (30.8%)
pate/K_Dubb (I)
5 (19.2%)
Trump/Pence (R)
4 (15.4%)

Total Members Voted: 26

Voting closed: November 23, 2020, 09:01:44 PM

pate

Quote from: SpaceMeowMaid on August 10, 2020, 12:36:28 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyNMxui6sh4


I love Jackstar. I don't think I am the right choice for his body guard though, exactly... I am definitely Valkyrie and Mermaid, and completely in love with him... But he is really upsetting me lately and I might have to tie him up and teach him some things, like manners!

No, not Jackstar's body-guard.  Obviously you have an out-dated clear-code cipher ring.

I meant that K_Dubb needs more security, and Jackstar is in charge of campaign seekruty;  ergo you have been administratively transferred!  It is clearly, plainfully and apparently obvious that I may have said too much.  Do try to look up the lyrics to that fine Dethklock song, and you will see (nautical shore) I hope that the duties I envision you fulfilling are to do with any Oceanic difficulties that may trouble young K_Dubb.

Good lord, I hope I have not inadvertently blown the cover on a Deep Six Operation.  If so that shit will have to be fixed!

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

pate

Quote from: paladin1991 on August 10, 2020, 12:22:52 PM
I'm growing bored.  Is there a tactical nuke strike in the offing, or what?

There is an awful lot of shit on my plate that I am attempting to fix personally, due to lack of Command Staff, pal!

Perhaps you missed this little piece of intel in the post-asteroidal shit-storm over the weekend:

Quote from: pate on August 08, 2020, 12:57:59 AM

...
Do I live in an Alternate Clown Whirled?  Fuck Yeah, Putin.  If any bastard, to include you, lobs so much as a spit-ball over the OCONUS, CONUS or ANY ALLIED TERRITORY;  I will hand over the "Football" to paladin1991 with the codes entered and the "GO MUTHERFUCKER" button flashing bright red and FAST.
...

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"


OPERATION URANUS was off the charts in several key demographics, but I think we weathered the storm.  I would find independent verification of the alleged statements that Vlad Putie made that caused a campaign DEFCON escalation, however.  I just felt like saber-rattling that day for some reason really...

I think that one was going full strategic MRIV, I was going for the super-sexy home-run there, and not mere heavy-petting at first base...

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Jackstar

Quote from: pate on August 10, 2020, 04:10:39 PM
post-asteroidal shit-storm over the weekend

THIS DOESN'T LOOK LIKE ANYTHING TO SINISTAR

pate

"EYE DEW" : "PLANK, DON'T RUN"

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 10, 2020, 10:24:31 AM
Dear sir,

I am doing my best to advance press your suit but it is difficult when you do not apprehend my subtle and curious motions.  Did not the lady in question promise to return whenever I said something mean?  If that is not an invitation to fill the air with howling deprecations, I do not know what it is!

Consider, however, that this promise came from the same inscrutable source that teased a survey of the Great British Bake-Off when she first opened the shop -- I withdraw my powerful memory from its concealment only under duress, since I would have preferred her to continue believing herself to be the sole possessor of that faculty.  Of course, it is all in the game for her.

We are conditioned to pass over this sort of gamesmanship -- really, the  most charitable appraisal of what, under harsher lighting, might appear as out-and-out fraud -- with nary a blush as the creatures themselves are so charming, but in the spirit of rectitude I think it is only just that she explain herself.

We are playing a trophy tarpon on the most gossamer of tests, and I fear I have snapped the line.

One often snaps the line when attempting to set the hook.  My question here:  who is the hunter and who the prey?  I suspect that the one in question may be the huntress in sheep's clothing, lying in wait on a high branch before a feline pounce sets the claws deep into the intended victim.  I may mix metaphors, but that is only in an attempt to muddy the waters on this fishing expedition that may actually target red-herrings and not, as you believe, the tarpon.

To be sure, the only game worthy of pursuit is that able to turn the tables and become the pursuer.  This is an act of bravery and test of wills;  many stories, movies and plays have been written on the subject.  I note that Hanz has, in his ancestry (I believe maternal) the line of Rhodesian Ridgeback who were raised to assist in the hunt of lions as bay-hounds;  in addition to his paternal Tuetonic Shepard side.  It could be said I am prepared for any eventuality.

Really, as an amateur Naturalist, my aim is not so much a trophy but more an experiment to see if Cats and Dogs living together truly will bring the End Thymes we all so eagerly, boredly and patiently wait upon.

Now, as to your allegations of possible fraud;  this comes dangerously close to that Dueling territory I spoke of earlier.  First;  the Lady in question is to be highly honored and gain by fraud is not befitting to her.  Second;  your statement casts doubt on my purity of intent, love and decency.  Third;  you speak of such things in the Campaign Head Quarters and not some other bawdy house thread nearby.

The paradox here is this;  in a Duel you will be my Second!  What am I to do?  What is called for;  I forgive you.

Lastly, you will note in your quoted text above I made a small editorial correction to your Official Statement that I felt was more appropriate!  {melodious chuckle}

I am a fan of Comedy and not Tragedy, let us not cloud our minds with doubts!  It may seem that this Drama is Farcical, but the campaign has, is and ALWAYS WILL BE about the gaining of the highest possible multiple of the multi-vote in order to secure ultimate victory.

I shall now create yet another list.  The contents of which are classified EYES ONLY;  the title, of course since I release it into the wild, will be FOCOU.

Again, because of the above message that could not be properly emphasized with complete BOLD text functionality and I am once again reduced to making indelicately coded messages in the clear due to a non-functional Personal Messaging system:  I would like to remind everyone that the fixing of that shit is one of the primary campaign planks in the Make America Pate Again initiative.

Although, it is nice to see a little actual transparency in Presidential Affairs for once.  That is why I approve this message, and am not quite sure how many multiples of meaning are hid within it, if any.

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"





pate

Quote from: Juan on August 10, 2020, 02:24:51 PM
Where would you like one?  I’ll check the legalities.

I am going to go ahead and fill out a few authorization forms with the Date-Time-Group and Designated Target fields empty.  After the legal investigation is complete, AG Juan, would you be so kind as to deliver those with your report to paladin1991?

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

pate

Quote from: Jackstar on August 10, 2020, 04:39:25 PM
THIS DOESN'T LOOK LIKE ANYTHING TO SINISTAR

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Jackstar

Quote from: pate on August 10, 2020, 04:00:01 PM
Good lord, I hope I have not inadvertently blown the cover on a Deep Six Operation.  If so that shit will have to be fixed!

Planetary intergalactic inter-planetary tort & ex-tort law, is in fact, a very narrow field of Divine Law, due to the necessity for keeping at least one registered licenced bonded insured & gilled apostille alive per planet per solar system per sorrow system, so you haven't blown cover on shit. Jackstar controls the horizontal; Jackstar controls the vertical; Jackstar trolls the fifth Element;
I actually have the fifth element, captured at 12:55:23. Remember Roy back then when I said "everybody stand down, I'll stand down I'll stand down I'll stand down"? Yeah, I don't remember that either. All those people just got canceled.

Send no flowers. E17 protocol ongoing.

SpaceMeowMaid

Quote from: pate on August 10, 2020, 04:00:01 PM
No, not Jackstar's body-guard.  Obviously you have an out-dated clear-code cipher ring.

I meant that K_Dubb needs more security, and Jackstar is in charge of campaign seekruty;  ergo you have been administratively transferred!  It is clearly, plainfully and apparently obvious that I may have said too much.  Do try to look up the lyrics to that fine Dethklock song, and you will see (nautical shore) I hope that the duties I envision you fulfilling are to do with any Oceanic difficulties that may trouble young K_Dubb.

Good lord, I hope I have not inadvertently blown the cover on a Deep Six Operation.  If so that shit will have to be fixed!

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"


Blowing the Cover is a great way to open up the Coverts. No problem, Sir, we are highly aware of your Shining White Hat. If this is what Jesus Christ wills, then I will always. His will not mine be done. :)

SpaceMeowMaid

Quote from: Jackstar on August 10, 2020, 05:00:20 PM
Planetary intergalactic inter-planetary tort & ex-tort law, is in fact, a very narrow field of Divine Law, due to the necessity for keeping at least one registered licenced bonded insured & gilled apostille alive per planet per solar system per sorrow system, so you haven't blown cover on shit. Jackstar controls the horizontal; Jackstar controls the vertical; Jackstar trolls the fifth Element;
I actually have the fifth element, captured at 12:55:23. Remember Roy back then when I said "everybody stand down, I'll stand down I'll stand down I'll stand down"? Yeah, I don't remember that either. All those people just got canceled.

Send no flowers. E17 protocol ongoing.

E17 5:5
xoxoxo ilu

pate

Two hundred four, Terrible Tuesday"JEWELED ALIEN"

Okay, now that the one-week anniversary of last week's "Asteroid Crisis" is over, I would like to get back to the important Make America Pate Again shit.  I believe, before that shit got fixed, I was discussing the Campaign merchandising thing.

I had an idea for a sweet Make America Pate Again trucker hat, I believe.  Aha, found it:

Quote"We are going to fix this shit" hat (Trucker style;  Plain white front;  Royal blue "pate/K_Dubb 2020" text and bill;  Blood red "We are going to fix this shit" text and webbing;  1 EA).

I believe earlier yesterday, I proposed giving the newly formed Dog Lives Matter PAC some signage that could be placed in affluent suburban lawns in exchange for $100, a few minor pleasantries and perhaps a vote and/or multi-vote for the Campaign if the conversation gets that far.  I think the campaign shit needs fixing a little bit and now move that line-item to a higher priority on the list to which it belongs.

Now, I am a bit tired, sleepy and lethargic;  after a long day of fixing shit on my own I decided I rated a decent meal and made the typical southern "New Year's Day" meal of greens, pork and black-eyed peas.  I am loathe to admit that I burned the greens (Mustard, w/ bacon, onion, garlic, salt & pepper) but only slightly, I think the greens are supposed to be bitter, and the slightly burnt pieces enhanced that.  Read into that last statement what you will, the other parts seemed to augur well and the whole thing was very delicious.

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

I Ponder...

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"



K_Dubb

Quote from: pate on August 10, 2020, 04:47:21 PM
"EYE DEW" : "PLANK, DON'T RUN"

One often snaps the line when attempting to set the hook.  My question here:  who is the hunter and who the prey?  I suspect that the one in question may be the huntress in sheep's clothing, lying in wait on a high branch before a feline pounce sets the claws deep into the intended victim.  I may mix metaphors, but that is only in an attempt to muddy the waters on this fishing expedition that may actually target red-herrings and not, as you believe, the tarpon.

To be sure, the only game worthy of pursuit is that able to turn the tables and become the pursuer.  This is an act of bravery and test of wills;  many stories, movies and plays have been written on the subject.  I note that Hanz has, in his ancestry (I believe maternal) the line of Rhodesian Ridgeback who were raised to assist in the hunt of lions as bay-hounds;  in addition to his paternal Tuetonic Shepard side.  It could be said I am prepared for any eventuality.

Really, as an amateur Naturalist, my aim is not so much a trophy but more an experiment to see if Cats and Dogs living together truly will bring the End Thymes we all so eagerly, boredly and patiently wait upon.

Now, as to your allegations of possible fraud;  this comes dangerously close to that Dueling territory I spoke of earlier.  First;  the Lady in question is to be highly honored and gain by fraud is not befitting to her.  Second;  your statement casts doubt on my purity of intent, love and decency.  Third;  you speak of such things in the Campaign Head Quarters and not some other bawdy house thread nearby.

The paradox here is this;  in a Duel you will be my Second!  What am I to do?  What is called for;  I forgive you.

Lastly, you will note in your quoted text above I made a small editorial correction to your Official Statement that I felt was more appropriate!  {melodious chuckle}

I am a fan of Comedy and not Tragedy, let us not cloud our minds with doubts!  It may seem that this Drama is Farcical, but the campaign has, is and ALWAYS WILL BE about the gaining of the highest possible multiple of the multi-vote in order to secure ultimate victory.

I shall now create yet another list.  The contents of which are classified EYES ONLY;  the title, of course since I release it into the wild, will be FOCOU.

Again, because of the above message that could not be properly emphasized with complete BOLD text functionality and I am once again reduced to making indelicately coded messages in the clear due to a non-functional Personal Messaging system:  I would like to remind everyone that the fixing of that shit is one of the primary campaign planks in the Make America Pate Again initiative.

Although, it is nice to see a little actual transparency in Presidential Affairs for once.  That is why I approve this message, and am not quite sure how many multiples of meaning are hid within it, if any.

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"


Oh let us not duel, for all love!  I much prefer kissing.  Very well then, I am sure your stalwart and manly defense will awaken what tenderness lies within her bosom and drive her to the bejeweled bower you have prepared.  Let me practice a bit more with the pastry-bag; my garlands look more like something that might decorate the bawdy-house of which you speak.


Jackstar

Quote from: SpaceMeowMaid on August 10, 2020, 06:20:01 PM
If this is what Jesus Christ wills, then I will always. His will not mine be done. :)

I'm looking for a half rack of Corona and a box of limes. Make it happen.

Jackstar

Quote from: pate on August 10, 2020, 10:22:22 PM
I Ponder...

Your pondering has been canceled. Get your ass out there and get me those fucking limes.


K_Dubb

Quote from: pate on August 10, 2020, 04:00:01 PM
I meant that K_Dubb needs more security, and Jackstar is in charge of campaign seekruty;  ergo you have been administratively transferred!  It is clearly, plainfully and apparently obvious that I may have said too much.  Do try to look up the lyrics to that fine Dethklock song, and you will see (nautical shore) I hope that the duties I envision you fulfilling are to do with any Oceanic difficulties that may trouble young K_Dubb.

I am deeply touched by your concern, sir, but am I not the dread antifa supersoldier fresh off the BLM bus, striding deep into the heartland to lay waste about me with my skateboard?  No Yankee Candle or Calico Cupboard is safe from my rampages, neither will any livestock go unbuggered!



WOTR

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 11, 2020, 04:32:24 AM
I am deeply touched by your concern, sir, but am I not the dread antifa supersoldier fresh off the BLM bus, striding deep into the heartland to lay waste about me with my skateboard?  No Yankee Candle or Calico Cupboard is safe from my rampages, neither will any livestock go unbuggered!

It appears that your anitifa brethren have made a mistake on the dates. I thought you were laying seige to the white house after you and Pate were elected. You should probably have them "fix this shit", and issue a correction notice for the proper date.


K_Dubb

Quote from: WOTR on August 11, 2020, 01:50:31 PM
It appears that your anitifa brethren have made a mistake on the dates. I thought you were laying seige to the white house after you and Pate were elected. You should probably have them "fix this shit", and issue a correction notice for the proper date.



"Siege" is, of course, a protracted, dug-in struggle with Election Day the ultimate triumph.  Pate will be gratified to see I have kept my part of the bargain.  Some dirty fingerprints might be left on a few national monuments here and there but I am sure they will buff out.

AZZERAE

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 11, 2020, 12:55:46 PM
So true, sweetie. Have a peach.

The ultimate joke is that humanity is already living in the throes of nature's supreme nihilism. Life is a spastic, chaotic dance of never ending meaninglessness.

Jackstar

Quote from: AZZERAE on August 11, 2020, 02:08:32 PM
Life is a spastic, chaotic dance of never ending meaninglessness.

Just get it together, Mushmouth. We're all tired of this.

Jackstar

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 11, 2020, 12:55:46 PM
So true, sweetie.  Have a peach.

And now, as of and because of this exact post, I know exactly where we are going on our first date. Contact my flunky for details, Sugar. Smooches!!

K_Dubb

Quote from: AZZERAE on August 11, 2020, 02:08:32 PM
The ultimate joke is that humanity is already living in the throes of nature's supreme nihilism. Life is a spastic, chaotic dance of never ending meaninglessness.

For behold, all flesh is as the grass,
And all the glory of mankind
Is as the flowers of grass.
For lo, the grass withereth
And the flower thereof is fallen.

Therefore be patient, dear brothers,
For the coming of the Lord.
Behold, the husbandman waits
For the delicious fruits of the earth
And is patient for it, until he receives
The morning rain and evening rain.
Therefore be patient.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DO4aEOCZEf8

For behold, all flesh is as the grass,
And all the glory of mankind
Is as the flowers of grass.
For lo, the grass withereth
And the flower thereof is fallen.

But the word of the Lord endures forever.

The redeemed of the Lord shall return,
And come to Zion with a shout;
Eternal joy shall be upon her head;
They shall take joy and gladness,
And sorrow and sighing shall flee from them.

The redeemed of the Lord shall return,
And come to Zion with a shout;
And eternal joy shall be upon her head;
Joy everlasting.

from I Peter 1:24 etc. into German; English translations vary

Jackstar

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 11, 2020, 02:53:47 PM
For behold, all flesh is as the grass,
And all the glory of mankind
Is as the flowers of grass.
For lo, the grass withereth
And the flower thereof is fallen.

Therefore be patient, dear brothers,
For the coming of the Lord.
Behold, the husbandman waits
For the delicious fruits of the earth
And is patient for it, until he receives
The morning rain and evening rain.
Therefore be patient.

hxxps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DO4aEOCZEf8

It was at this point, that I realized you didn't write this at all. I was getting ready to flip the switch after about four lines! And then--DISQUALIFIED.

Still--this is impressive work. Kudos.

K_Dubb

Quote from: Jackstar on August 11, 2020, 02:22:49 PM
And now, as of and because of this exact post, I know exactly where we are going on our first date. Contact my flunky for details, Sugar. Smooches!!

That fruit stand in Bothell?  Get some peaches, sit by the road and watch traffic?  I am a very cheap date  :-*

K_Dubb

Quote from: Jackstar on August 11, 2020, 03:00:10 PM
It was at this point, that I realized you didn't write this at all. I was getting ready to flip the switch after about four lines! And then--DISQUALIFIED.

Still--this is impressive work. Kudos.

Oh no God wrote that!  I am just a hack.

Jackstar

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 11, 2020, 03:01:20 PM
That fruit stand in Bothell?

OMFG you're adorable! Do you come in a bobblehead? I'll take four more!


Quote from: K_Dubb on August 11, 2020, 03:01:20 PM
Get some peaches, sit by the road and watch traffic? 

We already did that Wednesday.


Quote from: K_Dubb on August 11, 2020, 03:01:20 PM
I am a very cheap date  :-*

Yes, but I am expensive. W**** it.


pate

"EYE DEW" : "PLANK, DON'T RUN"

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 11, 2020, 02:53:47 PM
...

from I Peter 1:24 etc. into German; English translations vary

Of course I hope to be eventually forgiven for my forthcoming blasphemy, but it made me laugh so I must share:

Last night my "put me to sleep" movie selection was the movie "I, Frankenstein."  Which I successfully slept through most of, and was only awoken from light dozing a few times when the noises I heard caused confused proto-dreams to form...  This is one of many movies I have not viewed in entirety in one sitting, I put this one on the Good Movies to Fall Asleep to list.

I will of course, Go Directly To Hell for that.  Many Apogees, Jackstar!

Now that my confession of Sin is complete.  That is a good Musical selection K_Dubb, I have an appropriate list around for it somewhere.

I do have a small piece of official Make America Pate Again business to attend to:

We must absolutely attend to this Corn Teen shit.  It has been a given in my mind during and before the start of the campaign, but I believe I have not made any official pronouncements on it.

Lift Up The Miserable Corn Teen?  The Pernicious Practice of Corn Teening Must End?  End Corn Teen Now?  Hmm, perhaps I have not explicitly made an official pronouncement because I have not yet found the correct proper name for that shit.

Huh, I knew when it was revealed to me while performing Basic Lawn Maintenance that I should have instantly written it down.  I seem to have forgotten the exact wording.

Well, be it known that I am trying to fix that shit as well.  It weighs heavily on my thoughts, and I feel the name of the solution should bring Laughter for the appropriate Book.

I promise, the next time I come up with a snappy name for an item in the Make America Pate Again initiative;  I will immediately and without hesitation write it down.  That is precisely why I carry a little black note-book in my back pocket!

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

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