pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit"

Started by pate, July 18, 2020, 05:06:34 PM

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Three of the five below are the correct answers, you are invited to choose one. Just remember that the odds are in your flavor, but which is the favorite oddity?

Biden/Harris (D)
2 (7.7%)
pate/K_Dubb (aye)
7 (26.9%)
pate/K_Dubb (eye)
8 (30.8%)
pate/K_Dubb (I)
5 (19.2%)
Trump/Pence (R)
4 (15.4%)

Total Members Voted: 26

Voting closed: November 23, 2020, 09:01:44 PM

K_Dubb

Quote from: Walks_At_Night on August 04, 2020, 01:07:47 PM
Well perhaps you can whip up a nice dark Pumpernickle?  You'll need the heaviness of the Rye to get you through the event.

That is a solid suggestion.  Some sharp, crumbly cheese and summer sausage, a smear of mustard -- heaven.

AZZERAE

Quote from: Antifa K. Dubb on August 04, 2020, 01:12:18 PM
Sharp, crumbly cheese and summer sausage, a smear of mustard -- heaven.

Why does this sentence construction make me envision hardcore, gay, anal sex?

K_Dubb

Quote from: AZZERAE on August 04, 2020, 01:18:29 PM
Why does this sentence construction make me envision hardcore, gay, anal sex?

I don't know, sweetheart.  I wouldn't get within ten feet of anyone after eating that sandwich.

AZZERAE

Quote from: Antifa K. Dubb on August 04, 2020, 01:26:48 PM
I wouldn't get within ten feet of anyone after eating that sandwich.

Always remember to poop before your hot anal sex date. This is your ass on the line, literally

K_Dubb

Quote from: AZZERAE on August 04, 2020, 01:38:57 PM
Always remember to poop before your hot anal sex date. This is your ass on the line, literally

Another solid suggestion.  Happy #AnalAugust everyone!

pate

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 04, 2020, 12:58:54 PM
First of all, that hat sounds really cute.

I know, right?  If I could tear myself away from all the other fixing of shit that I am doing, I would totally fix that hat shit!  I think there are websites out there that will custom print hats and such!  We need some "merch" to help fill the already swelling campaign coffers.  At the very least, I want one.  You should probably have one as well!  If I get a "round tu-it" on the design, I might pick up one for you on my dime, that is not a campaign promise!  Haha!

Currently, one of the things on my long list of shit to fix is an appropriate photoshop of some campaign signage that would be suitable in format, color and data-type to take to one's local Kinko's for printing.  Kinko's has excellent stocks of weatherproof card-stock for yard-signage.  That way our many volunteers can begin the arduous process of replacing our political enemies yard-signage with a more appropriate one: ours!  Haha!

If only I can find the thyme!

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 04, 2020, 12:58:54 PM
Dear future President pate and all, I am touched by the care with which this crisis has been managed.  Of course my first instinct is to flee in terror because that is always fun but I do not have any doggos at the moment and that is a long drive that should not be ventured without a tongue out the window.  Somewhere around here there is a fat lady who walks an adorable large black Shih Tzu (probably at least part Lhasa)  but, though I am sure an offer to rescue the pup from impending doom could hardly be misconstrued, my efforts to prevent her from hitching a smelly squawking ride in the back seat might be.

Here on the Best Coast we regularly feature in latter-day-Sodom disaster fantasies -- our own Space Force chief wishes for LA, for reasons that escape me because all those palm trees are beautiful and the men are very brown and fit -- and have learned to take them with a certain grace, which means getting the good booze out from under the counter and a lot of gleeful sodomizing so, though Spokane is always tempting but rather less so in August, I shall be "sheltering in place" here in the cool marine breeze, anticipating the festivities.  Er, I mean assembling an ad hoc crisis-management team to coordinate things "on the ground".

Which party will this ad-hoc crisis management team be co-ordinating things on the ground under;  the (aye), (eye) or (I) party?

This should be known.

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

chefist

Quote from: pate on August 04, 2020, 09:04:07 PM
I know, right?  If I could tear myself away from all the other fixing of shit that I am doing, I would totally fix that hat shit!  I think there are websites out there that will custom print hats and such!  We need some "merch" to help fill the already swelling campaign coffers.  At the very least, I want one.  You should probably have one as well!  If I get a "round tu-it" on the design, I might pick up one for you on my dime, that is not a campaign promise!  Haha!

Currently, one of the things on my long list of shit to fix is an appropriate photoshop of some campaign signage that would be suitable in format, color and data-type to take to one's local Kinko's for printing.  Kinko's has excellent stocks of weatherproof card-stock for yard-signage.  That way our many volunteers can begin the arduous process of replacing our political enemies yard-signage with a more appropriate one: ours!  Haha!

If only I can find the thyme!

Which party will this ad-hoc crisis management team be co-ordinating things on the ground under;  the (aye), (eye) or (I) party?

This should be known.

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Don't take me wrong...I'm rooting for Pate/Kdubb (not to be confused with BDub)  on "Fixin this shit"....

Where are we with that...from a scale of 1-10...how well is the shit fixed?

pate

Quote from: chefist on August 04, 2020, 09:12:48 PM
Don't take me wrong...I'm rooting for Pate/Kdubb (not to be confused with BDub)  on "Fixin this shit"....

Where are we with that...from a scale of 1-10{emphasis added}...how well is the shit fixed?

chefist,

I believe you are my Under Secretary of Commerce for Standards and Technology and Director of the National Institute of Standards and Technology?

Quote from: chefist on August 02, 2020, 02:37:35 PM


That said;  shit is fixed to a Standard eleven!

Hey, I have an extra Chef's hat that I have not traded a plum for:  would you care to wear it?  It is pretty sweet...

There's lots of shit that could be turned into fixin's if done with simple human diligence and generosity;  one man's shit is another man's delicacy.  What could you do with pangolin, bat or o'possum?

Just a thought, chef!  Worthy of thinking about, I suppose...

The Chef's hat in question is in a light blue denim, with the requisite number of folds that allegedly number the amount of ways an egg can be cooked.  It is a fascinating design, do you think it might fit?

Apogees, old friend!  I am deep in my cups this late Terrible Tuesday...



I should encode this special missive for those following along at home:
"TRIUMVIRATE ARCH" : "METHUSULA PROGENY" : "PLANK, DON'T RUN"

Tomorrow is another day, and that will happen local time in about five minutes!

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"



pate

Two hundred eighteen, Make Dad Smile on Wednesday"JEWELED ALIEN" : "PLANK, DON'T RUN"



This is only a test, say again:  only a test.

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

paladin1991

Quote from: albrecht on August 04, 2020, 12:19:53 PM
To motivate K_Dubb immediate relocation to the Inland Empire. 
In Spokane:
-he can get a "Bag of Dicks." 
- Tordenskjold Lodge has a Lutefisk dinner and lefse making 
-C2C guest Capt Sweeney ("Ahoy") lives in Spokane and can advise the administration on maritime matters

Do you think Sweeney will make Kdubby his personal cabin boy?

paladin1991

Quote from: AZZERAE on August 04, 2020, 01:18:29 PM
Why does this sentence construction make me envision hardcore, gay, anal sex?

Because you want some?





SpaceMeowMaid

Please fix this jury! I'm on trial today. Jack is soooo pissed at me, he says he won't escort me to trial,. So it's solo I go, just like those red cups I used to love! Thank God, I do have legal representation. I'm scared not gonna lie. Really, I would rather be in Lebanon today! WTF is wrong with prosecutors these days?  I wasn't even intoxicated!!!! And I am pretty sure I was under 100 when the popo clocked me. The Porsche behind me that was trying to catch up was accelerating way faster than I was by that time... And that freak(driving the new Porsche like a fucking pussy) said, and I quote,"I don't know what came over me, I was just trying to catch her"!!! And the popo was fine with the fucking confessed lunatic, but in regards to moia, he says, she will never slow down, she will never obey the rules of the road! Ok DAD! GFY!!! Jesus helps those that help themselves! So please help me fix this 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 TIA


Jackstar

Quote from: SpaceMeowMaid on August 05, 2020, 05:29:05 AM
Jack is soooo pissed at me

Actually, I am pretty pleased.

/flex


Friends--e-mail me for video. Exclusive.

Jackstar

Quote from: pate on August 05, 2020, 01:20:23 AM
This is only a test, say again:  only a test.

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"


Q: What's the difference between "a test" and "an examination?"

A: A bag of big black dildos covered in Axe bodyspray, wait, wait... what kind of school is this anyway?

pate

Quote from: AZZERAE on August 05, 2020, 03:59:00 AM
R E V I S E D

#opensource

Thanks AZZERAE!  Much better than my drunken midnight attempt.

Soon, I imagine, those signs will be proudly displayed in well kept lawns across America!

Bumper stickers, button lapel pins and flags, think of the high multiples of votes.  Wunderbar!

That would really Make America Pate Again.

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

pate

Quote from: Jackstar on August 05, 2020, 08:35:25 AM
... what kind of school is this anyway?

The fishwives in Jeopardy type of school?

We should fix that shit.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

Jackstar

Quote from: pate on August 05, 2020, 09:34:41 AM
The fishwives in Jeopardy type of school?




Quote from: pate on August 05, 2020, 09:34:41 AMWe should fix that shit.

I've already gotten out to push. Can you get me a Salty Dog? I'd like that now, please.

Jackstar

Quote from: pate on August 05, 2020, 09:28:28 AM
Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

I mean it when I'm telling you: You've done a better job at this job than I thought was ever possible to be done. I chose wisely. Thank you, very much indeed. From the very bottom of my heart.

I'll most likely kill you in the morning.

K_Dubb

Quote from: pate on August 04, 2020, 09:04:07 PM

Which party will this ad-hoc crisis management team be co-ordinating things on the ground under;  the (aye), (eye) or (I) party?

This should be known.

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

"Eye" sounds a little surveillancey and "I" perhaps a trifle narcissistic.  I confess a slight preference for the "aye" party as it brings to mind an agreeable sailor.

K_Dubb

Quote from: pate on August 05, 2020, 01:20:23 AM
Two hundred eighteen, Make Dad Smile on Wednesday"JEWELED ALIEN" : "PLANK, DON'T RUN"



This is only a test, say again:  only a test.

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"


This is fantastic!  I love all the poo.  I would only expand "pate" to fill the entire red field as it is a magnificent and powerful name, and sort of hide mine (which I don't like, anyway) down at the bottom since I am happiest in obscurity.

pate

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 05, 2020, 01:33:02 PM
This is fantastic!  I love all the poo.  I would only expand "pate" to fill the entire red field as it is a magnificent and powerful name, and sort of hide mine (which I don't like, anyway) down at the bottom since I am happiest in obscurity.

I could probably do that:  "pate" in big stretchy letters;  and under it we could call you "Chief of Utes:  Walking Dogs (K_Dubb)"?  The longer appellation will be easier to micro-size and "hide," sounds like some sort of weird maneuver when I say it that way.  Huh, "micro-size and 'hide,'" I feel a little gross typing that...

I digress!  I will see what I can do on that front, I have much shit to fix today;  again.  But I shall add that to the shit-list.

I really wish you had a stronger desire to shine like the super-star that you really are, dear K_Dubb.  You are the counter-balance on this ticket, all the votes I alienate you will pick up and vice versa.  I designed this ticket specifically to maximize the amount of potential Multi-votes we can gather, Gotta Catch Them All!  Hey, that sounds like a new Make America Pate Again campaign goal.  I will add "Gotta Catch Them All" to the appropriate list of campaign shit that needs fixing.

The ideas that you gently lead me astray to discover, K_Dubb.  Those are more valuable than gold bullion, precious gemstones or hard lucre to me.  Together we shall defeat all our political enemies!

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"



K_Dubb

Quote from: pate on August 05, 2020, 02:37:43 PM
I could probably do that:  "pate" in big stretchy letters;  and under it we could call you "Chief of Utes:  Walking Dogs (K_Dubb)"?  The longer appellation will be easier to micro-size and "hide," sounds like some sort of weird maneuver when I say it that way.  Huh, "micro-size and 'hide,'" I feel a little gross typing that...

I digress!  I will see what I can do on that front, I have much shit to fix today;  again.  But I shall add that to the shit-list.

I really wish you had a stronger desire to shine like the super-star that you really are, dear K_Dubb.  You are the counter-balance on this ticket, all the votes I alienate you will pick up and vice versa.  I designed this ticket specifically to maximize the amount of potential Multi-votes we can gather, Gotta Catch Them All!  Hey, that sounds like a new Make America Pate Again campaign goal.  I will add "Gotta Catch Them All" to the appropriate list of campaign shit that needs fixing.

The ideas that you gently lead me astray to discover, K_Dubb.  Those are more valuable than gold bullion, precious gemstones or hard lucre to me.  Together we shall defeat all our political enemies!

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"


My dear pate,

What sweet things you say!  I assure you, I am prepared to break out the bloody knuckles and singed backside of a true social justice warrior but, having "read the room" for lo these many years, such a display is unlikely to win us many friends here.  But it is there when called for.

A minuscule font with the full title "...chief dog-walker" etc. would be just the thing for this crowd, perhaps with a little panting doggy face to show that I am harmless and just want to be petted.  I will not let you down, sir.

Jackstar

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 06, 2020, 12:41:08 AM
I am prepared to break out the bloody knuckles and singed backside of a true social justice warrior

NOT THE FACE

Jackstar

Quote from: pate on August 05, 2020, 02:37:43 PM
Together we shall defeat all our political enemies!

They're already defeated. We simply haven't allowed publicity.

pate

Quote from: K_Dubb on August 06, 2020, 12:41:08 AM
My dear pate,

What sweet things you say!  I assure you, I am prepared to break out the bloody knuckles and singed backside of a true social justice warrior but, having "read the room" for lo these many years, such a display is unlikely to win us many friends here.  But it is there when called for.

A minuscule font with the full title "...chief dog-walker" etc. would be just the thing for this crowd, perhaps with a little panting doggy face to show that I am harmless and just want to be petted.  I will not let you down, sir.

Attend K_Dubb, something about signage?  Red Velvet cake seems appropriate.

Eughnugh,
that is a cough related to my heavy smocking.  I digress.

Where was I?  Deep inot cups and ponderosa, the unlimited salad bar is nice...

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"[

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