I think I finally burst out in laughter around the description of the significance of the state the small plot of land is kept in...
Somewhere it this post are the seeds of a one man play. Of course, the one man play can have no more than a one man audience during "these unprecedented times." As such, perhaps it is not worth developing and performing until we find a vaccine... 
Well, I figure that I can have informal meetings while I mow or pull weeds. I normally do such things in a speedo and flip-flops, but I suppose I could wear a pair of regular shorts for decorum's sake. It may place undue stress on the Secret Service, I suppose. Really it doesn't have to be a set time of the day; if I am in town and not out fixing shit OCONUS or CONUS I think I should do that: much more satisfying than a round of golf. Although... I could put a little putt-putt course on the grounds. A windmill, a lighthouse and perhaps a mechanical Baba Yaga hut; all par threes. That would be cool. I would love to host Kim Jong, whomever is in charge of China, and the Iranian guy; and challenge them to a round of putt-putt. If weather allows I would, of course, be shirtless.
As to the one man play idea; after my first 100 days of Making America Pate Again, I am sure there will be plenty of writers, biographers and playwrights that will wish to make legends of the "Great Shit Fixing of 2021."
As for vaccines, I like the "herd immunity" idea, personally.
Thank you for the kind words, WOTR! How goes the formation of the American Foreign Legion I Corps, CAN? I am sure the ranks are swelling with many tasty Canadians; you are welcome to recruit from other countries, to include the USA, as well.
This is not the shit I logged in to fix today, however!
Late last night; I decided that one of the many things to fix was the absence of Modern Day Dueling. This fits in with my three part plan to re-establish Rule of Law And Ordering of Days, as part of the first 100 days of Making America Pate Again presidency.
The details can be worked out later: the rough Idea dovetails nicely with the official policy of encouraging individuals, localities, and municipalities to fix their own shit without burdening the courts, law enforcement and legislators at the Federal level with unnecessary decisions, arrests, and laws. This will not be a free-for-all "shoot 'em in the streets" Wild West duel, but more an Artistic declaration of honor being sullied, satisfaction for heinous acts or common insults that cannot be calmly brushed aside.
Notification, and issuance of the formal challenge shall be posted in the appropriate public square with names named, acts described and request for abject apologies demanded. Seconds, uninterested judges and weapons of appropriate antiquity, or reasonable facsimile thereof, will be required if the dueling parties refuse to resolve the affair amicably. I will probably need to appoint a Dueling Czar by Presidential decree for this one.
I wish to remind everyone that the Dueling Czar seat is now open at my banquet table: only a vote or multi-vote is required to secure this plum.
This will fit into the re-establishment of Cruel and/or Unusual Punishments initiative: If a Law is broken that is not fixed at a lower level by the individuals involved, the Law Enforcement and Judicial process
may (at the Attorney General's discretion, be it Local, State or Federal in scope) be initiated to emphasize the Necessary and/or Normal Punishments to be imposed on the guilty. This will provide an object, abject and enduring Lesson on the Obeisance to the Law.
This brings me to the last, and final part of fixing the Rule of Law shit. It is my opinion that the amount of Laws present in this country at all levels, in particular the Federal Level, are burdensome, complex and in some cases contradictory. In order to fix that shit, and in keeping with Big Chicken's ideas on Morals and Decency; I feel that a more simplistic approach should be tried.
The Idea is to utilize the "Ten Commandments" in conjunction with "The Seven Deadly Sins" to figure out which of the original ten are outdated. I firmly believe that there is a specific Commandment that corresponds to each one of the seven Sins. The remaining three, while not discarded, will perhaps be understood as given and perhaps de-emphasized. Of course, I am no theologian, so I would of course seek out such to help me in the fixing of that shit.
In this manner I hope to completely restructure the Rule of Law in America; it may not be a good plan, but perhaps it will work well enough for my people to look back and say, "Yes, this is better than it was."
I am loathe at this time to make this an Official Campaign Promise. I would heed the counsel of my many astute advisors before "pulling the trigger" on this idea.
Thank you in advance! It is an honor to serve.
pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit" 
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pate/K_Dubb 2020 - "We are going to fix this shit" (Read 6049 times)