A proposal for Roswells, Art

Started by pate, July 06, 2020, 09:59:49 AM

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.




Roswells, Art

Quote from: pate on July 06, 2020, 09:59:49 AM
Roz,

Lately I have been contemplating that my semi-feral bachelor state might benefit from blissful domestication. 

This might be yet another Bellgab fantasy, mild insanity or a symptom of the madness of love;  perhaps a tasty melange of the three?  In these difficult times, I find comfort in my longheld conviction that such a sumptuosly beautiful mind as yours must necessarily be held within a similarly beguiling package.

Being the gambling rambler that I am, I feel that I must cast the die.  This lifelong fascination with the mysterious concept of an arranged marriage leads to contemplation of lifting the veil on an adventerous nuptial arrangement.  I embark upon this perhaps quixotic quest with the firm belief of your perfect nubility;  I impossibly dream that you will be convinced upon reading this request that it was written while on a bended knee.

Should this offer be appealing to you, simply provide an appropriate ring-size and a jeweler will be engaged to fashion a suitably tasteful and elegant ornament for your many talented hand.

This bauble will be presented at, and for, your pleasure as further negotiations warrant.

If nothing else, I hope this offer leaves you with at minimum a bemused smile.

Yours,

-p



Sounds good (this and your other posts alluding to the same thing). Unfortunately I am currently walking through hell at the moment so maybe if and when I get to the other side we can share a suitcase of beer and whatever you're drinking together.


Roswells, Art

Quote from: chefist on July 06, 2020, 12:52:00 PM
Congratulations RA!...who proposed to her?

Thanks! I don't know. If only there was a way to find out.


Roswells, Art

Quote from: ItsOver on July 06, 2020, 01:01:50 PM
Or a triple cheeseburger with fries.

Very funny.

Quote from: SredniVashtar on July 06, 2020, 02:39:58 PM
I always thought she'd end up with K_Dubb in one of those mariages blanc deals. They'd discuss springform tins and shortening by day, and she'd turn a blind eye to his nocturnal dockside forays, when he'd return missing one shoe, his wallet, and his left incisor.

Still, as pate is clearly another peter puffer, it amounts to basically the same thing.

He's a little on the skinny side. Also, he's mean.
Quote from: SpaceMeowMaid on August 07, 2020, 02:47:11 AM
I propose a vision quest. Would you like to learn the process of becoming in Algonquin Tradition? It's not for everyone, so don't be afeared to say no.

Yes.
Quote from: Jojo on August 14, 2020, 12:35:18 AM
Why, thank you. 

Roswells, I encourage you.  He's intelligent, easy to get along with, flexible... and he walks his talk! 

Gee, you seem to be a person that has made wise life decisions. Thank you. Please let me know if you have any more advice for me.

Quote from: Jackstar on September 04, 2020, 03:27:42 PM


You should be nicer to the person whom altruistically defended you on another forum.

Jackstar

Quote from: Roswells, Art on September 04, 2020, 03:37:57 PM
You should be nicer to the person whom altruistically defended you on another forum.

The subtext in that photo was... "take me us with you."

pate

Quote from: Roswells, Art on September 04, 2020, 03:18:25 PM
Sounds good (this and your other posts alluding to the same thing). Unfortunately I am currently walking through hell at the moment so maybe if and when I get to the other side we can share a suitcase of beer and whatever you're drinking together.

Ha!  I had this feeling that today would finally be the one I get to hear from you.

I would happily come and walk through hell with you, if you like.  Far better than going it alone.

It is good to see you, I was getting worried about my sweet cookie!

Always makes my day to see you around hear, drop me an e-mail sometime I would love to chat.

Always,

-p


pate

Quote from: Roswells, Art on September 04, 2020, 03:37:57 PM
...
He's a little on the skinny side. Also, he's mean.
....

I hope that is K_Dubb you are talking about?


Roswells, Art

Quote from: Jackstar on September 04, 2020, 03:45:38 PM
The subtext in that photo was... "take me us with you."

Sorry, I have been away for so long I forgot your posts take a little deciphering. I'm sure it seems obvious to you but sometimes it isn't.

Quote from: pate on September 04, 2020, 03:50:48 PM
Ha!  I had this feeling that today would finally be the one I get to hear from you.

-p



Did you really think you were going to hear from me today?

Quote from: pate on September 04, 2020, 03:54:20 PM
I hope that is K_Dubb you are talking about?

Well it was but since you brought it up, how much time do you spend trying to pick up Navy men at the docks?



ItsOver

Quote from: Roswells, Art on September 04, 2020, 04:11:02 PM
Sorry, I have been away for so long I forgot your posts take a little deciphering. I'm sure it seems obvious to you but sometimes it isn't.

Did you really think you were going to hear from me today?

Well it was but since you brought it up, how much time do you spend trying to pick up Navy men at the docks?
Heh, heh, heh. Any bottle of bourbon in the possession of a swabbie does not rest easy with Prez Pate around. ;)

pate

Quote from: Roswells, Art on September 04, 2020, 04:11:02 PM
...
Did you really think you were going to hear from me today?..

Actually, yes I did.  But then it was July 6th that I originally made the proposal, I would say sometime by the end of July I began expecting to read something from you on a daily basis.

Quote from: Roswells, Art on September 04, 2020, 04:11:02 PM
Well it was but since you brought it up, how much time do you spend trying to pick up Navy men at the docks?

I would buy a Navy guy (or gal) a drink, to include Marines, but there are no docks here in landlocked Kansas City.  It would be a lot of trouble to go to what passes for docks in town, there are plenty of gay bars around that I am sure are well stocked with manly men of the Naval persuasion.  I think there might be some sort of landing around for the barge traffic on the Missouri River, but the steamboats stopped running freight a long time ago...

Hey, that sounds like fun!  How about I sell the People's Free Republic of pate and we buy a tug-boat and push barges up and down the Mississippi watershed where the waters are navigable to barge traffic?  I bet I could get one of those fly-by-night "We buy houses" outfits to write a check that ought to cover the down-payment on a nice "gently" used tug-boat! 

Think of the adventures, damaged bridge abutments and shipwrecks;  it would be glorious!




K_Dubb

Quote from: Roswells, Art on September 04, 2020, 03:37:57 PM
He's a little on the skinny side. Also, he's mean.

Sadly true on both counts, my dear.

Hog

Quote from: pate on July 06, 2020, 09:59:49 AM
Roz,

Lately I have been contemplating that my semi-feral bachelor state might benefit from blissful domestication. 

This might be yet another Bellgab fantasy, mild insanity or a symptom of the madness of love;  perhaps a tasty melange of the three?  In these difficult times, I find comfort in my longheld conviction that such a sumptuosly beautiful mind as yours must necessarily be held within a similarly beguiling package.

Being the gambling rambler that I am, I feel that I must cast the die.  This lifelong fascination with the mysterious concept of an arranged marriage leads to contemplation of lifting the veil on an adventerous nuptial arrangement.  I embark upon this perhaps quixotic quest with the firm belief of your perfect nubility;  I impossibly dream that you will be convinced upon reading this request that it was written while on a bended knee.

Should this offer be appealing to you, simply provide an appropriate ring-size and a jeweler will be engaged to fashion a suitably tasteful and elegant ornament for your many talented hand.

This bauble will be presented at, and for, your pleasure as further negotiations warrant.

If nothing else, I hope this offer leaves you with at minimum a bemused smile.

Yours,

-p



Thanks Pate, now I feel all dumb about myself. 
I was forced to Google and here are the fruits of my labours:  "quixotic" from Merriam-Webster, and I QUOTE Quixotic definition is - foolishly impractical especially in the pursuit of ideals; especially : marked by rash lofty romantic ideas or extravagantly chivalrous action. ENDQUOTE

Cool word, quixotic.

peace
Hog

pate

Quote from: Hog on September 05, 2020, 03:52:52 PM
Thanks Pate, now I feel all dumb about myself. 
I was forced to Google and here are the fruits of my labours:  "quixotic" from Merriam-Webster, and I QUOTE Quixotic definition is - foolishly impractical especially in the pursuit of ideals; especially : marked by rash lofty romantic ideas or extravagantly chivalrous action. ENDQUOTE

Cool word, quixotic.

peace
Hog

Do not thank me, thank the inestimable Miguel de Cervantes and his timeless classic "Don Quixote de la Mancha."

I have no evidence to back my belief that Cervantes was well acquainted with the myth, legend and apochryphal Saint Cyrano de Bergerac but is simply must be so!

I appreciate your appreciation;  that was the most delicately worded indelicate proposal I have ever made.  Although you may read this reply, understand that it was written for another set of eyes!

This thread needs some silly youtube links that are far from random:

https://youtu.be/g9r5PFZihC4

https://youtu.be/RfHnzYEHAow

https://youtu.be/35PWRL0GquM

Thanks, Hog.

(Apogees in retrospect, Roz!)

-p


SpaceMeowMaid

Quote from: ItsOver on September 04, 2020, 04:23:16 PM
Heh, heh, heh. Any bottle of bourbon in the possession of a swabbie does not rest easy with Prez Pate around. ;)

Well, then obey your captain and deliver all rum, bourbon, gin, vodka, and or absinthe to me!!! Mermaids get thirsty you know!?

SredniVashtar

Quote from: Roswells, Art on September 04, 2020, 03:37:57 PM
He's a little on the skinny side. Also, he's mean.

I tried to tell him that there were consequences to catching full-blown AIDS but all he cares about is his cheekbones. Think of it this way, he's not going to last much longer anyway (fingers crossed) and then you can inherit his Magimix and deluxe ramikin set. Just remember to give them a good rinse under the hot tap first. In the meantime, before he sashays off to Valhalla, there's Norwegian hymns on Sunday (K_Dubb braying at the harmonium) and you get a chance to study that Bible of Nordic cookery (handed down through generations of the Dubb family) '1001 Things to Do With Rotten Fish.' I honestly can't see what more a girl can ask for.

K_Dubb

Quote from: SredniVashtar on September 06, 2020, 02:40:08 AM
I tried to tell him that there were consequences to catching full-blown AIDS but all he cares about is his cheekbones. Think of it this way, he's not going to last much longer anyway (fingers crossed) and then you can inherit his Magimix and deluxe ramikin set. Just remember to give them a good rinse under the hot tap first. In the meantime, before he sashays off to Valhalla, there's Norwegian hymns on Sunday (K_Dubb braying at the harmonium) and you get a chance to study that Bible of Nordic cookery (handed down through generations of the Dubb family) '1001 Things to Do With Rotten Fish.' I honestly can't see what more a girl can ask for.

Do I indeed have the full-blown kind?  I was hoping to catch a milder case that would just serve like a tapeworm, eating away at all my jiggly bits until all that was left was a dry crepey husk that the mortician decides to smoke like a haddock and hang in the window to amuse passers-by like that desert mummy in Ye Olde Curiosity Shoppe.  That wee scrap of Turkey carpet barely clinging to his pelvis for decency's sake always seemed like the ultimate in fierce, fearless eternity-facing fashion, and perhaps a good avatar photo, and you should see his cheekbones!

Jackstar

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 06, 2020, 10:31:14 AM
Do I indeed have the full-blown kind?

I think we all just sort of assumed.

K_Dubb

Quote from: Jackstar on September 06, 2020, 10:36:52 AM
I think we all just sort of assumed.

I imagine remaining at perpetually half-blown would be a cruel predicament.

Dr. MD MD

If anyone else I think Jackstar may be David Rubini. ;)

SredniVashtar

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 06, 2020, 10:31:14 AM
Do I indeed have the full-blown kind?  I was hoping to catch a milder case that would just serve like a tapeworm, eating away at all my jiggly bits until all that was left was a dry crepey husk that the mortician decides to smoke like a haddock and hang in the window to amuse passers-by like that desert mummy in Ye Olde Curiosity Shoppe.  That wee scrap of Turkey carpet barely clinging to his pelvis for decency's sake always seemed like the ultimate in fierce, fearless eternity-facing fashion, and perhaps a good avatar photo, and you should see his cheekbones!

If memory serves, they have Pizarro's mummified corpse exhibited in a museum in Peru. Unfortunately someone pulled his dick off. Now, I know you're no stranger to dick-pulling, but I'm sure you like to have it returned when whoever you hired for the purpose has finished the job. There are some peculiar people about (viz. this board) who would no doubt relish the opportunity to yank your lignum off your dessicated husk and put it in a specially made bonbonnerie or reliquary. Be careful what you wish for.




K_Dubb

Quote from: SredniVashtar on September 06, 2020, 11:09:28 AM
If memory serves, they have Pizarro's mummified corpse exhibited in a museum in Peru. Unfortunately someone pulled his dick off. Now, I know you're no stranger to dick-pulling, but I'm sure you like to have it returned when whoever you hired for the purpose has finished the job. There are some peculiar people about (viz. this board) who would no doubt relish the opportunity to yank your lignum off your dessicated husk and put it in a specially made bonbonnerie or reliquary. Be careful what you wish for.

Oh you may have it; you needn't be so coy.  PM your address and my executor will see to it discreetly, along with some suggested protocols for veneration.


SredniVashtar

Quote from: K_Dubb on September 06, 2020, 11:22:07 AM
Oh you may have it; you needn't be so coy.  PM your address and my executor will see to it discreetly, along with some suggested protocols for veneration.

As you are well aware, MV had to switch off PMs owing to the deluge of suggestive sonnetry landing in my inbox. Even Lord Rochester would have told you to ease off a bit. As the onlie begetter of this tsunami of filth, I have to inform you that much of it wasn't even biologically possible.

Even the thought you know my vague location gives me the prickly heat, so don't bank on getting my address anytime soon. You might just be pretending to be dead for all I know. I wouldn't put it past you.

K_Dubb

Quote from: SredniVashtar on September 06, 2020, 11:32:33 AM
As you are well aware, MV had to switch off PMs owing to the deluge of suggestive sonnetry landing in my inbox. Even Lord Rochester would have told you to ease off a bit. As the onlie begetter of this tsunami of filth, I have to inform you that much of it wasn't even biologically possible.

Even the thought you know my vague location gives me the prickly heat, so don't bank on getting my address anytime soon. You might just be pretending to be dead for all I know. I wouldn't put it past you.

Ok I was stretching for a rhyme there with raccoon/man-poon but very little else has gone untested and what hasn't, as you know, is covered by my license.  And you needn't fear -- as I explained to Roz once I discovered what it was for I grew very fond of it and am unwilling to cast it away on its own in the world, chanced to fate like some wandering Jew.

Would you kiss it first?

Powered by SMFPacks Menu Editor Mod