A proposal for Roswells, Art

Started by pate, July 06, 2020, 09:59:49 AM

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pate

Roz,

Lately I have been contemplating that my semi-feral bachelor state might benefit from blissful domestication. 

This might be yet another Bellgab fantasy, mild insanity or a symptom of the madness of love;  perhaps a tasty melange of the three?  In these difficult times, I find comfort in my longheld conviction that such a sumptuosly beautiful mind as yours must necessarily be held within a similarly beguiling package.

Being the gambling rambler that I am, I feel that I must cast the die.  This lifelong fascination with the mysterious concept of an arranged marriage leads to contemplation of lifting the veil on an adventerous nuptial arrangement.  I embark upon this perhaps quixotic quest with the firm belief of your perfect nubility;  I impossibly dream that you will be convinced upon reading this request that it was written while on a bended knee.

Should this offer be appealing to you, simply provide an appropriate ring-size and a jeweler will be engaged to fashion a suitably tasteful and elegant ornament for your many talented hand.

This bauble will be presented at, and for, your pleasure as further negotiations warrant.

If nothing else, I hope this offer leaves you with at minimum a bemused smile.

Yours,

-p


WOTR

You had better hope that "they" have repealed rule 37.  :o

Rule 37 states "there are no girls on the internet." Now, I suppose you could argue that you are looking for a "woman" and not a "girl." But I believe that the original "rules of the internet" was not typed out with that expectation.

Anyhow, let me know where you have your wedding registry so that I can pick out something appropriate.   :)

Kidnostad3

Quote from: pate on July 06, 2020, 09:59:49 AM
Roz,

Lately I have been contemplating that my semi-feral bachelor state might benefit from blissful domestication. 

This might be yet another Bellgab fantasy, mild insanity or a symptom of the madness of love;  perhaps a tasty melange of the three?  In these difficult times, I find comfort in my longheld conviction that such a sumptuosly beautiful mind as yours must necessarily be held within a similarly beguiling package.

Being the gambling rambler that I am, I feel that I must cast the die.  This lifelong fascination with the mysterious concept of an arranged marriage leads to contemplation of lifting the veil on an adventerous nuptial arrangement.  I embark upon this perhaps quixotic quest with the firm belief of your perfect nubility;  I impossibly dream that you will be convinced upon reading this request that it was written while on a bended knee.

Should this offer be appealing to you, simply provide an appropriate ring-size and a jeweler will be engaged to fashion a suitably tasteful and elegant ornament for your many talented hand.

This bauble will be presented at, and for, your pleasure as further negotiations warrant.

If nothing else, I hope this offer leaves you with at minimum a bemused smile.

Yours,

-p



Don’t forget to obtain her agreement on dowry size and pre-nup provisions before taking a knee. 

K_Dubb

Do it, Roz!  He's a hottie with a naughty body.    A veritable prince among men. and a man after your own heart -- the impossibly fluffy banana bread pictures he posted, years ago, still haunt my dreams.

ItsOver

Heh, heh, heh... this should go well.

Quote from: ItsOver on July 06, 2020, 12:19:52 PM
Heh, heh, heh... this should go well.

No reason why it shouldn't.  Look how well JoJo and the Doc's marriage has gone. 

Quote from: K_Dubb on July 06, 2020, 11:50:38 AM
Do it, Roz!  He's a hottie with a naughty body.    A veritable prince among men. and a man after your own heart -- the impossibly fluffy banana bread pictures he posted, years ago, still haunt my dreams.

She should certainly take it under consideration - fluffiness of the banana bread aside.   Look at how well written that proposal is.   Not even a hint of Wild Turkey  induced "mugwumpf" verbage in it. 

ItsOver

Quote from: Walks_At_Night on July 06, 2020, 12:21:40 PM
No reason why it shouldn't.  Look how well JoJo and the Doc's marriage has gone.
http://youtu.be/6ZeaCohfWsY

Eh, Pate, you're not marrying the avatar.

ItsOver

Quote from: Walks_At_Night on July 06, 2020, 12:39:19 PM
She should certainly take it under consideration - fluffiness of the banana bread aside.   Look at how well written that proposal is.   Not even a hint of Wild Turkey  induced "mugwumpf" verbage in it.
Listen to the man.
http://youtu.be/uepFO4psgKE

chefist

Congratulations RA!...who proposed to her?

K_Dubb

Quote from: Walks_At_Night on July 06, 2020, 12:39:19 PM
She should certainly take it under consideration - fluffiness of the banana bread aside.   Look at how well written that proposal is.   Not even a hint of Wild Turkey  induced "mugwumpf" verbage in it.

It does read as the product of deep and sober reflection rather than morning-after contrition, yes.

GravitySucks

Quote from: pate on July 06, 2020, 09:59:49 AM
Roz,

Lately I have been contemplating that my semi-feral bachelor state might benefit from blissful domestication. 

This might be yet another Bellgab fantasy, mild insanity or a symptom of the madness of love;  perhaps a tasty melange of the three?  In these difficult times, I find comfort in my longheld conviction that such a sumptuosly beautiful mind as yours must necessarily be held within a similarly beguiling package.

Being the gambling rambler that I am, I feel that I must cast the die.  This lifelong fascination with the mysterious concept of an arranged marriage leads to contemplation of lifting the veil on an adventerous nuptial arrangement.  I embark upon this perhaps quixotic quest with the firm belief of your perfect nubility;  I impossibly dream that you will be convinced upon reading this request that it was written while on a bended knee.

Should this offer be appealing to you, simply provide an appropriate ring-size and a jeweler will be engaged to fashion a suitably tasteful and elegant ornament for your many talented hand.

This bauble will be presented at, and for, your pleasure as further negotiations warrant.

If nothing else, I hope this offer leaves you with at minimum a bemused smile.

Yours,

-p



Should have gone with a picture of a cat.

ItsOver

Quote from: Walks_At_Night on July 06, 2020, 12:21:40 PM
No reason why it shouldn't.  Look how well JoJo and the Doc's marriage has gone.
It's not like I'm against marriage.  Look what it's done for us.  Less Pud of York for us, more "quiet time" for him.


ItsOver

Quote from: GravitySucks on July 06, 2020, 12:56:12 PM
Should have gone with a picture of a cat.
Or a triple cheeseburger with fries.

Precious I have a yummy yummy treat for you . . .

artbell_ghost

congrats to all.

appears that i shall owe a full twenty american dollers to my good friend whilst she predicted this very outcome four months ago

SredniVashtar

I always thought she'd end up with K_Dubb in one of those mariages blanc deals. They'd discuss springform tins and shortening by day, and she'd turn a blind eye to his nocturnal dockside forays, when he'd return missing one shoe, his wallet, and his left incisor.

Still, as pate is clearly another peter puffer, it amounts to basically the same thing.


SpaceMeowMaid

I propose a vision quest. Would you like to learn the process of becoming in Algonquin Tradition? It's not for everyone, so don't be afeared to say no.

Jackstar

She can't even handle being stoned, or being a fishwife, or being a stoned fishwife. I wouldn't expect much from this chattel. She's had her chance to shine and turned out dross.
Not that there's anything wrong with that. Maybe she's got allergies, or a peg-leg, or a crippling fear of being a legitimate human being--that shit can happen, you know. In any event, ignore her.
She's completely and utterly harmless.

SpaceMeowMaid

Quote from: Jackstar on August 07, 2020, 02:50:22 AM
She can't even handle being stoned, or being a fishwife, or being a stoned fishwife. I wouldn't expect much from this chattel. She's had her chance to shine and turned out dross.
Not that there's anything wrong with that. Maybe she's got allergies, or a peg-leg, or a crippling fear of being a legitimate human being--that shit can happen, you know. In any event, ignore her.
She's completely and utterly harmless.

OK babe, but you don't have to be a warrior to go on the vision quest.


Jojo

Quote from: Walks_At_Night on July 06, 2020, 12:21:40 PM
No reason why it shouldn't.  Look how well JoJo and the Doc's marriage has gone.
Why, thank you. 

Roswells, I encourage you.  He's intelligent, easy to get along with, flexible... and he walks his talk! 

pate

Quote from: Jojo on August 14, 2020, 12:35:18 AM
Why, thank you. 

Roswells, I encourage you.  He's intelligent, easy to get along with, flexible... and he walks his talk!

Sounds like work, SexTeen?

Jackstar

Quote from: artbell_ghost on July 06, 2020, 02:23:44 PM
congrats to all.

appears that i shall owe a full twenty american dollers to my good friend whilst she predicted this very outcome four months ago

I'm going to state for the record that I was never offered a piece of this action.

I'll get to that later.

pate

Roz,

I assume that you are so busy that you have completely overlooked this entire thread, if that is the case I encourage you to look over the proposal in its entirety. This is my best case scenario for why you have not given response.

The worst case scenario is that you are ignoring the question entirely, or have not decided on your answer yet.  The latter case is not at all a worst case, but completely understandable! For some reason, I doubt that you would be able to have read my original proposal and declined to make some comment or response, most probably a surprising one that would make me laugh in delight.

Well, to assist you in your decision, which needs in no way be a final one;  as a fine woman you are of course allowed to change your mind at anytime for the most whimsical of reasons:  I have decided to respond pre-emptively to your possible answers.  Also, to provide a few scenarios that we may negotiate should you indicate assent either by providing a ring-size or by saying "Yes."

If you wish to say "no," I can only assume that is because you delight in the breaking of hearts.  This may, or may not be the case with me, as I would quite understand that answer, but it would not diminish my feelings towards you.  In any case, consider how many broken hearts there would be if you said "yes":  here at BellGab, the many fine ladies here in Kansas City, and even K_Dubb!

The simple declaration of a number indicating your ring size would, to me, be the most fun!  Of course I would want to know what your birth-month is because that will determine what one of the jewels for the ring will be, and will probably affect the design to some small degree depending on the hardness, or mohs rating of the gem-stone.  I have always believed that my wife will have a the same ring finger size as I do on my pinky finger, which I am going to guess is a 6.

It may take awhile for the ring to be completed, I use one of the best private jewelers in Kansas City, not your Helzberg or chain-jewellers.  I also have a few back-up guys I can go to if my "main man" is back-logged, but I really think he is worth whatever wait it takes.

If you say "yes," of course I will first have to pick my jaw up off the floor.  You will get the engagement ring, and whatever wedding band pleases you best, of course.  Following I will offer several scenarios, of what may happen that might be best suited to your tastes.

You may be quite content on your private island and wish to remain there, in that case I can offer up the People's Free Democratic Republic of pate for rent and come apply sun-tan lotion on your back and maintain your helicopter.  I have recently made some financial moves that will greatly accelerate the payoff date, probably in three years, or even sooner depending on how you would like me to deal with that.

I can take all of the rent moneys and use them to pay additional principal each month, this would result, of course in no monthly income from me and I would have to find local employment in your area to support you in the manner you are accustomed to.

If I only use the portion of the rental income required to satisfy the minimum payments, I estimate I could generate $500-$1000 (depending on my property management company, and the rent I demand) in monthly income that may be added to whatever locally sourced income I have.  Of course all of these monies would be at your disposal, as I understand wives have an unlimited appetite for money?  Hopefully, this pittance would suffice to your needs.

You, of course, are always welcome here at the People's Free Democratic Republic of pate.  I am looking into a certain place in town that an old friend of mine is currently at.  This is not a "job" but more of a business venture where we could work together as a Husband/Wife culinary team and hopefully gain a Michelin star for each of us.  I think this would be excellent practice for the eventual conversion of the PFRDP into the small gourmet restaurant that we will eventually run as we progress into our Golden Years.  It is zoned C2 (Mixed use; Residential and/or Commercial as desired by the owner, currently Residential.)

If you do not already have the credentials of an "Executive Chef" you will have access as my Wife to my untouched GI Bill education money, and there are several places in Kansas City where your needs of certification may be met.

Of course, I will want to apprentice under you to get my official sous-chef certifications, but that should not be a big deal.  I already have been one at a lovely French restaurant in a nearby town that I would love to take you to sometime.  The young married couple that currently run it are old friends and co-workers from my days there long ago.

I am certain that you have up your lovely and devious sleeve some sort of response that I have not forseen, I am sure it will be delicious when you share it!

Now, most around here;  to include yourself and myself, will have noticed over the years that there is some "spark" between us:  let us be honest, it is there.

Being the inveterate love pyromaniac that I am;  I would give that spark tender fuel to ingnite the potential dumpster fire of our love!  I realize, and you have pointed out, that I am not perfect;  that is probably true for everyone.  I may not be the most wealthy, but I am well-placed, my net value is not in negative territory by a long shot in monetary, or even the intangibles that make up my perfect imperfection.

All this will of course be contigent on how my Presidential bid goes, but whichever way it does you will always be my sweet cookie and First Lady.

To anyone who would ask "Why?" I would ask "Why Not?"

I apologize for the length and breadth of this post, as it must be time consuming to read.  Your time is quite valuable, but I do hope that your response is not "TL:DR," and that you found something of worth above.



Always,

-p

edit-to-add:  You may of course, contact me via the Bellgab e-mail daemon (click on my name to the left of this post, hit the "envelope" button), or if you wish my official Presidential Campaign e-mail: pate4pate@gmail.com I am not certain of the functionality of the Bellgab e-mail daemon, as I have never received one, but legend speaks of those who have.

SpaceMeowMaid

Quote from: pate on August 24, 2020, 09:28:01 PM
Roz,

I assume that you are so busy that you have completely overlooked this entire thread, if that is the case I encourage you to look over the proposal in its entirety. This is my best case scenario for why you have not given response.

The worst case scenario is that you are ignoring the question entirely, or have not decided on your answer yet.  The latter case is not at all a worst case, but completely understandable! For some reason, I doubt that you would be able to have read my original proposal and declined to make some comment or response, most probably a surprising one that would make me laugh in delight.

Well, to assist you in your decision, which needs in no way be a final one;  as a fine woman you are of course allowed to change your mind at anytime for the most whimsical of reasons:  I have decided to respond pre-emptively to your possible answers.  Also, to provide a few scenarios that we may negotiate should you indicate assent either by providing a ring-size or by saying "Yes."

If you wish to say "no," I can only assume that is because you delight in the breaking of hearts.  This may, or may not be the case with me, as I would quite understand that answer, but it would not diminish my feelings towards you.  In any case, consider how many broken hearts there would be if you said "yes":  here at BellGab, the many fine ladies here in Kansas City, and even K_Dubb!

The simple declaration of a number indicating your ring size would, to me, be the most fun!  Of course I would want to know what your birth-month is because that will determine what one of the jewels for the ring will be, and will probably affect the design to some small degree depending on the hardness, or mohs rating of the gem-stone.  I have always believed that my wife will have a the same ring finger size as I do on my pinky finger, which I am going to guess is a 6.

It may take awhile for the ring to be completed, I use one of the best private jewelers in Kansas City, not your Helzberg or chain-jewellers.  I also have a few back-up guys I can go to if my "main man" is back-logged, but I really think he is worth whatever wait it takes.

If you say "yes," of course I will first have to pick my jaw up off the floor.  You will get the engagement ring, and whatever wedding band pleases you best, of course.  Following I will offer several scenarios, of what may happen that might be best suited to your tastes.

You may be quite content on your private island and wish to remain there, in that case I can offer up the People's Free Democratic Republic of pate for rent and come apply sun-tan lotion on your back and maintain your helicopter.  I have recently made some financial moves that will greatly accelerate the payoff date, probably in three years, or even sooner depending on how you would like me to deal with that.

I can take all of the rent moneys and use them to pay additional principal each month, this would result, of course in no monthly income from me and I would have to find local employment in your area to support you in the manner you are accustomed to.

If I only use the portion of the rental income required to satisfy the minimum payments, I estimate I could generate $500-$1000 (depending on my property management company, and the rent I demand) in monthly income that may be added to whatever locally sourced income I have.  Of course all of these monies would be at your disposal, as I understand wives have an unlimited appetite for money?  Hopefully, this pittance would suffice to your needs.

You, of course, are always welcome here at the People's Free Democratic Republic of pate.  I am looking into a certain place in town that an old friend of mine is currently at.  This is not a "job" but more of a business venture where we could work together as a Husband/Wife culinary team and hopefully gain a Michelin star for each of us.  I think this would be excellent practice for the eventual conversion of the PFRDP into the small gourmet restaurant that we will eventually run as we progress into our Golden Years.  It is zoned C2 (Mixed use; Residential and/or Commercial as desired by the owner, currently Residential.)

If you do not already have the credentials of an "Executive Chef" you will have access as my Wife to my untouched GI Bill education money, and there are several places in Kansas City where your needs of certification may be met.

Of course, I will want to apprentice under you to get my official sous-chef certifications, but that should not be a big deal.  I already have been one at a lovely French restaurant in a nearby town that I would love to take you to sometime.  The young married couple that currently run it are old friends and co-workers from my days there long ago.

I am certain that you have up your lovely and devious sleeve some sort of response that I have not forseen, I am sure it will be delicious when you share it!

Now, most around here;  to include yourself and myself, will have noticed over the years that there is some "spark" between us:  let us be honest, it is there.

Being the inveterate love pyromaniac that I am;  I would give that spark tender fuel to ingnite the potential dumpster fire of our love!  I realize, and you have pointed out, that I am not perfect;  that is probably true for everyone.  I may not be the most wealthy, but I am well-placed, my net value is not in negative territory by a long shot in monetary, or even the intangibles that make up my perfect imperfection.

All this will of course be contigent on how my Presidential bid goes, but whichever way it does you will always be my sweet cookie and First Lady.

To anyone who would ask "Why?" I would ask "Why Not?"

I apologize for the length and breadth of this post, as it must be time consuming to read.  Your time is quite valuable, but I do hope that your response is not "TL:DR," and that you found something of worth above.



Always,

-p

edit-to-add:  You may of course, contact me via the Bellgab e-mail daemon (click on my name to the left of this post, hit the "envelope" button), or if you wish my official Presidential Campaign e-mail: pate4pate@gmail.com I am not certain of the functionality of the Bellgab e-mail daemon, as I have never received one, but legend speaks of those who have.

As a lady who has experienced some "proposals" I have to say, bgosenjege menwenma! To you both, all the best. Please send your registration for gifts so Jack and I can send some love!

K_Dubb

Quote from: pate on August 24, 2020, 09:28:01 PM
In any case, consider how many broken hearts there would be if you said "yes":  here at BellGab, the many fine ladies here in Kansas City, and even K_Dubb!
,

It is true; it would be to fillet my tender, still-beating heart and lay it out on the carving-board with appropriate garniture.  How she must relish the thought!

eviUru

Quote from: pate on August 24, 2020, 09:28:01 PM
Roz,

I assume that you are so busy that you have completely overlooked this entire thread, if that is the case I encourage you to look over the proposal in its entirety. This is my best case scenario for why you have not given response.

The worst case scenario is that you are ignoring the question entirely, or have not decided on your answer yet.  The latter case is not at all a worst case, but completely understandable! For some reason, I doubt that you would be able to have read my original proposal and declined to make some comment or response, most probably a surprising one that would make me laugh in delight.

Well, to assist you in your decision, which needs in no way be a final one;  as a fine woman you are of course allowed to change your mind at anytime for the most whimsical of reasons:  I have decided to respond pre-emptively to your possible answers.  Also, to provide a few scenarios that we may negotiate should you indicate assent either by providing a ring-size or by saying "Yes."

If you wish to say "no," I can only assume that is because you delight in the breaking of hearts.  This may, or may not be the case with me, as I would quite understand that answer, but it would not diminish my feelings towards you.  In any case, consider how many broken hearts there would be if you said "yes":  here at BellGab, the many fine ladies here in Kansas City, and even K_Dubb!

The simple declaration of a number indicating your ring size would, to me, be the most fun!  Of course I would want to know what your birth-month is because that will determine what one of the jewels for the ring will be, and will probably affect the design to some small degree depending on the hardness, or mohs rating of the gem-stone.  I have always believed that my wife will have a the same ring finger size as I do on my pinky finger, which I am going to guess is a 6.

It may take awhile for the ring to be completed, I use one of the best private jewelers in Kansas City, not your Helzberg or chain-jewellers.  I also have a few back-up guys I can go to if my "main man" is back-logged, but I really think he is worth whatever wait it takes.

If you say "yes," of course I will first have to pick my jaw up off the floor.  You will get the engagement ring, and whatever wedding band pleases you best, of course.  Following I will offer several scenarios, of what may happen that might be best suited to your tastes.

You may be quite content on your private island and wish to remain there, in that case I can offer up the People's Free Democratic Republic of pate for rent and come apply sun-tan lotion on your back and maintain your helicopter.  I have recently made some financial moves that will greatly accelerate the payoff date, probably in three years, or even sooner depending on how you would like me to deal with that.

I can take all of the rent moneys and use them to pay additional principal each month, this would result, of course in no monthly income from me and I would have to find local employment in your area to support you in the manner you are accustomed to.

If I only use the portion of the rental income required to satisfy the minimum payments, I estimate I could generate $500-$1000 (depending on my property management company, and the rent I demand) in monthly income that may be added to whatever locally sourced income I have.  Of course all of these monies would be at your disposal, as I understand wives have an unlimited appetite for money?  Hopefully, this pittance would suffice to your needs.

You, of course, are always welcome here at the People's Free Democratic Republic of pate.  I am looking into a certain place in town that an old friend of mine is currently at.  This is not a "job" but more of a business venture where we could work together as a Husband/Wife culinary team and hopefully gain a Michelin star for each of us.  I think this would be excellent practice for the eventual conversion of the PFRDP into the small gourmet restaurant that we will eventually run as we progress into our Golden Years.  It is zoned C2 (Mixed use; Residential and/or Commercial as desired by the owner, currently Residential.)

If you do not already have the credentials of an "Executive Chef" you will have access as my Wife to my untouched GI Bill education money, and there are several places in Kansas City where your needs of certification may be met.

Of course, I will want to apprentice under you to get my official sous-chef certifications, but that should not be a big deal.  I already have been one at a lovely French restaurant in a nearby town that I would love to take you to sometime.  The young married couple that currently run it are old friends and co-workers from my days there long ago.

I am certain that you have up your lovely and devious sleeve some sort of response that I have not forseen, I am sure it will be delicious when you share it!

Now, most around here;  to include yourself and myself, will have noticed over the years that there is some "spark" between us:  let us be honest, it is there.

Being the inveterate love pyromaniac that I am;  I would give that spark tender fuel to ingnite the potential dumpster fire of our love!  I realize, and you have pointed out, that I am not perfect;  that is probably true for everyone.  I may not be the most wealthy, but I am well-placed, my net value is not in negative territory by a long shot in monetary, or even the intangibles that make up my perfect imperfection.

All this will of course be contigent on how my Presidential bid goes, but whichever way it does you will always be my sweet cookie and First Lady.

To anyone who would ask "Why?" I would ask "Why Not?"

I apologize for the length and breadth of this post, as it must be time consuming to read.  Your time is quite valuable, but I do hope that your response is not "TL:DR," and that you found something of worth above.



Always,

-p

edit-to-add:  You may of course, contact me via the Bellgab e-mail daemon (click on my name to the left of this post, hit the "envelope" button), or if you wish my official Presidential Campaign e-mail: pate4pate@gmail.com I am not certain of the functionality of the Bellgab e-mail daemon, as I have never received one, but legend speaks of those who have.

TL:DR   (I mean really didn't read it). Only first 5 words and got already bored.

Both of you post tits.
Ros first

Dr. MD MD

Quote from: eviUru on August 25, 2020, 11:24:16 PM
TL:DR   (I mean really didn't read it). Only first 5 words and got already bored.

Both of you post tits.
Ros first

That’s because you only read at a grade 3 level.

Something like this might be more to your liking:



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