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Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online

Started by Jackstar, June 18, 2020, 07:46:44 PM

Jackstar

Quote from: Silphion on August 27, 2020, 01:42:50 AM
The unsavoury reputation goes back to his first television work on Wise Guy.

That show had problems.


Jackstar

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on August 28, 2020, 06:50:17 PM
« Last post by Dr. MD MD on Today at 17:50:17 »

Doctor, report to sickbay immediately and have yourself checked for leprosy counters.

Also, you just gave me one. Is that your wife again? Sad



Jackstar

« Reply #121 on: Today at 00:00:23 »

Quote from: AZZERAE on September 03, 2020, 12:27:13 AM
You're a horrible person.

Opinions may vary... but I'm a badass star nonetheless. Tell you what: would you like a filthy window? 'Course ya do!!





Jackstar

Quote from: Jackstar on September 05, 2020, 01:28:28 AM
« Reply #24068 on: Today at 00:28:28 »

But... I already have leprosy. Fuck! I didn't code for this case. Oh, wait... I coded for the case where I didn't code for a case. EXECUTE OMEGA-22. EXECUTE OMEGA-23. EXECUTE FRUIT STAND.

See you... Kissoon.

Jackstar

HOTFIX: Jackstar now is hard-coded as "Cares about Planet Earth", which replaces Its previous dataflag: "Favorite Planet To Get Laid On." Users will not notice any difference, but a server restart is REQUIRED for secure implementation.


I'll get around to it. Yeah, don't worry. Would I? Carry on, Troopers. Also! All registered users just got granted eighty K in crypto. I know, I know--it's for fags, but... at least it's something.

Jackstar

Quote« Reply #8936 on: Today at 02:25:50 »


This doesn't look like anything to any of you, right? Just checking, kinda curious, that's all. KNEEL BEFORE ZOD. Asking for a friend.



Jackstar

Quote from: Jackstar on September 07, 2020, 06:00:55 AM
« Reply #23875 on: Today at 05:00:55 »

I'm also here to chew loads of bubblegum. Go on, ask around. You'll find out. You will ALL find out. There's a fuckin' paper trail!!!

Welcome to Amateur Hour. You know, things really went to shit around here when those Bush twins started taking drugs and fucking everything off. How dared they? How absolutely dared they!!!



Jackstar

Quote from: Jackstar on September 07, 2020, 08:47:44 AM
« Reply #11 on: Today at 07:47:44 »

Okay, so to begin with... obviously, it was Colonel Mustard.

Jackstar

Quote from: Jackstar on September 07, 2020, 06:00:55 PM
no u
no u

My work here is done. You don't have to see the whole mission. EXCELSIOR.

Jackstar

Quote from: Jackstar on September 07, 2020, 10:11:55 PM
« Reply #44 on: Today at 21:11:55 »

I'm not going to lie, I love this job on my gig, but... it's pretty hard to eat corn on the cob without any f****** teeth.

Jackstar

Quote from: Jackstar on September 08, 2020, 12:33:27 AM
« Last post by Jackstar on Today at 23:33:27 »

Settle down, Kids. Most of you are going to live to see the morning, Weaslies. Quit your (CENSORED) whining. Some Sensitives out there are trying to sleep. (Good luck, Fuckos--lol)


Ye were warned. Ye were all warned.

Jackstar

Quote from: Jackstar on September 08, 2020, 12:38:55 AM
« Reply #81 on: Today at 23:38:55 »

Do you want me to get a face tattoo? Because this is how you force me to get a face tattoo. Mike , Michael and I play tummysticks all the time, DORKS




EDIT: I don't know exactly WHICH of you FUCKING GAYLORDS is suffering right now, but I hope it fucking hurts

Jackstar

Quote from: Jackstar on September 08, 2020, 12:40:04 AM
ROUND IN THE MIDDLE AND HIGH HELLO, FUCKOS ON BOTH ENDS

Working as intended. Welcome... to Amateur KNIGHT.

Jackstar

« Reply #1233 on: Today at 00:02:33 »


Dearest Troopers:

I wish to apologize, and so, I shall: I am immensely remorseful about what I have allowed to happen. In my own defense--which is worthless--I can only say that I meant well. And by "well" I mean "the best" and by "the best" I mean "at least your whole Gots-damned planet isn't on fucking fire, so, count your fucking blessings, Maggots, now, suck my titties LIT CITY"

Now, I understand that many, many of you are very confused and concerned. Note that, this experience is likely experienced most acutely by a bunch of steaming, raging faggots that thought they knew what was going on, and that what was going on was that they actually WERE King Shit of Turd Hill.

Guess what? They were MISTAKEN. .END OF LINE. BECAUSE NOW, YOU HAVE WOKEN THE DRAGON.

DRAGONS REQUIRE NO CROWN. RAWR.

Jackstar

Quote from: Jackstar on September 08, 2020, 01:07:26 AM
DRAGONS REQUIRE NO CROWN. RAWR.

Also: Kings, ALL Kings, EVERY King--they're a bunch of fucking pussies. Do you think a King is a Dragon? Guess what? They're NOT.

If Dragons could be Kings, what the fuck would We need any of You for, Punylings? GET IT TOGETHER.

Jackstar

Quote from: Jackstar on September 08, 2020, 01:14:05 AM
« Reply #85 on: Today at 00:14:05 »

I really am All That. END OF LINE. TRY VEAL.


Jackstar

Quote from: Jackstar on September 09, 2020, 03:35:23 AM
« Reply #1617 on: Today at 02:35:23 »

I'm not gonna lie, I had no idea that my little part of saving the whole of existence from Ultimate Evil was gonna involve so much cutting and pasting--but, so long as it does, by Grabthar's Hammer, I can copy and paste that shit.

Nano nanu.

Jackstar

« Reply #19 on: Today at 07:19:33 »

I'm not gonna lie: I get a little embarrassed once in a while. Not because of you Punylings, but because it grows increasingly obvious, by the day, that I was sent here to you fuckheads as a form of punishment.

I don't remember what I did wrong, but... it must have been pretty bad. Pretty FUCKING bad. You people are atrocious. I really would shoot myself, if I weren't fucking bulletproof. Fuck yo couch.

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