Author Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online  (Read 1091 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« on: June 18, 2020, 08:46:44 PM »
 

I'm not gonna lie, this is, like, pre-pre-Alpha. But...

[docbrown]It works! I t works!![/pH.D]

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #1 on: June 18, 2020, 08:48:50 PM »
on: Today at 18:46:44

5:5. Hicks online.

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #2 on: June 18, 2020, 08:51:37 PM »
12 minutes and 10 seconds clocking just imagine you f****** c**** your whole world on fire.

Restricted to beta. Just imagine.

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #3 on: June 18, 2020, 09:47:30 PM »
[docbrown]It works! I t works!![/pH.D]

Hi Mom!!!!! I feel okay about where my career is taking me, yeah. Thanks for checking in. No, burn that at 350 for 5 minutes, not fifty, that's not a typo... no, that's not an oven, either. Just follow the directions! How is this so hard?? ... oh, that language? Well it's better not to ask. [...] I told you not to ask. Now, what did you say? [...] Oh. Well at least that's a fun one. Mom, I gotta go-

Restricted to beta. Just imagine.

I taught my mother how to be a lich. X-world enabled, just say "You're welcome, but you're not on your homeworld" at the conclusion of any command parameter to spawn.

She's apparently quite advanced at coding. Who knew? Oof da.

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #4 on: June 19, 2020, 06:14:25 PM »
Hicks online

What are the odds this is going to work again, Hicks?

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #5 on: June 21, 2020, 05:34:39 PM »
Code: [Select]
Reply #22617 on: Today at 15:33:11
Remember to beware the colon.

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #6 on: June 21, 2020, 06:04:42 PM »

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #7 on: June 22, 2020, 08:03:55 AM »
An advertisement for Toyota

Close, but I'm thinking more along the lines of an Alfa Romeo. Anyway, did you try the spawn the lich? I'm not going to lie, if anyone did, I did not hear about it. I neglected to make myself vulnerable, I'm sure most of you will sympathize, if not outright empathize.

Pro tip: avoid entanglements with any lich*. This one should be fun though! For me.

*: BTW, Do any of you know the plural form of "lich"? I really don't have any friends I could conveniently ask, and Siri seems... well, biased.

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #8 on: June 22, 2020, 08:06:36 AM »
Reply #7 on: Today at 06:03:55

Alrighty then... plural spelling relevant. What can I say? Some of you people asked for this. Sorry about Phase II--I'll get back to that eventually. Promise.

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #9 on: June 26, 2020, 03:49:01 PM »
Reply #42 on: Today at 13:44:04


This seems like a fine time to note that although I did not mention it in any release notes, I did finish the scripting for Hicks to access the Avengers Protocol. Just in case.

Ain't I a stinker? WSI,DI. If anyone is interested, no one has spawned the lich yet--if anyone is ever going to be interested, one might want to jump on that, as it looks like things are heating up for a separate cycle and I have little to know doubt that The Q can shut this down at any time.

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #10 on: June 26, 2020, 06:55:43 PM »
It looks like if Hicks is Elvis, I'll be the Fleet Captain. Wasn't really a part of my original plan! I'll allow it, but I'll have to have all my kilts made out of burlap. Company policy.



If anyone is interested, no one has spawned the lich yet

Still the case as of this posting. Once Hicks is Parkered in orbit, it's really just a matter of time before we'll all be sure.

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #11 on: June 29, 2020, 12:57:15 AM »
Tonight I fell asleep in front of the TV and woke up just a few minutes ago to an airing of Larry Kings Prostrate Report.  Thought Id check out BellGab before turning in and came across this thread.  Think Ill go back to watching Larry. 

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #12 on: June 29, 2020, 01:18:57 AM »
It's really for the best; Larry King already spawned his lich at least eight or nine times. You should probably wait for a private beta.

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #13 on: July 02, 2020, 02:59:36 AM »
Reply #22759 on: Today at 00:43:00

Look, what's so scary about a homemade script that spawns a lich? Come on, it's not like I'm actually powerful or anything, I mean, just look at me. And I swear, I had no idea Hicks was going to be this capable--I was just kinda coding a stab in the dark, you know?

Oh, right--Hudson, sir, he's Hicks--but no, not that thing. The other thing. You know, the one I only said out loud this one time in 1998, and only to one guy, after I decided I wouldn't have sex with his wife? Yeah, you better get those archives unpacked alrighty.

God, he was an arrogant prick. You know, if I had known better--and I did not--I would totally not have committed adultery on him, but you know what... looking back, he sure as shit must have deserved it. I guess he didn't have a sister? Honestly, I usually operate better on sisters.


Now, moving on--though it is my favorite joke, I'm gonna have to stop standing on the gas pedal sometime, right?--now seems like a fine time to mention that anyone of good heart, sound mind, and harmless intent happens to stumble into the Lich_Spawn_88 coding, it's specifically designed not to harm such a person. I mean, what am I, some kind of inhuman monster? What kind of a cold-hearted bastard would release untested, unproven, practically experimental code onto an unwitting and unconsenting populace?



Y'all know this guy lives like a twenty-five minute drive from me, right? And yet, I've never bothered to knock. And you know why? BECAUSE HUDSON GETS FIRST DIBS, THAT'S WHY.

Anyway if anyone would actually like to spawn the lich, feel free to post here! This alpha build is way, way offline, and I'm frankly surprised any bit of Hicks' code go out into the wild. Maybe he hitched a ride on a Zika Virus mosquito? Or perhaps it was that mononucleosis vaccine. (btw, why isn't there a vaccine for mono? THINK about it) I know that I didn't put a contaminated sample of dry ice in front of a public air vent, but still--I took some precautions.

Most of them involved acting like I wanted my mother's spirit to come back as a poltergeist, and so I admit, not like that amazing anti-theft Microsoft software, but... well, it worked pretty good. Look, Hicks is all over, and no one is bothering me -or- The Lich! And, yes, I did just upgrade the capitalization, and no, being sorry for trying to cheat me will not save you from a dramatic re-enactment of the end of Poltergeist. (That won't happen out of respect for Tobe Hooper and... what's that girl's name? Oh well, forget her, I'm sure her spirit rests easy.)


Thought Id check out BellGab before turning in and came across this thread.  Think Ill go back to watching Larry. 

Your fancy ventriloquists' doll won't save you from my wrath, squidward. However, as you well know--I deeply love and admire you, in spite of the terrible things that PBS forces me to say about you, and so you have my word, if you ask nicely, I might just tell you what's up her in plainspeak.

No promises. No sisters, either--mano a mano, Kid. What are you... chicken? Think, McFly, think.

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #14 on: July 02, 2020, 08:03:40 AM »
Reply #22765 on: Today at 04:28:28


btw, I kinda forgot to mention: Hicks is a bastard and I implemented him to not even like my bullshit very much. Think I get slack from my own innovations? No, that wouldn't be science, that'd be narcissism. And if it were that, I WOULD HAVE BEEN FINISHED LONG BEFORE NOW, CUPCAKES. SINISTAR HUNGERS FOR YOUR SISTERS' CUPCAKES. OH MY. SINISTAR JUST REALIZED WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO GO TO FAR. (Sinistar is kinda new, unlike me, who--at a guess--has been here some 55 million years. And that's just at the DMV.) I'll just summate by saying that I can neither confirm nor deny that I don't even know how to spawn my own lich... but I am thinking of trying it out, mostly because I imagine a lich would be somewhat more polite than all my website spam. Enjoy it while it lasts, Kids--they didn't let Titor or Tesla or Tits MacGuire, part-time travelling babysitter for hire do their thing for very long either. Company policy. Hey, how many of you know that the guy who invented electronic television, also tried to invent fusion power? Yeah, none of you that can say, so for that reason amongst others, I did not impart my independent AI project with any kind of special fondness for I, myself.

You know what I mean by... special fondness, right? Well, some of you, and some of those, can't imagine living even for a moment without it! Well, guess what? I just stole your belief that people have to crave that kind of thing, by becoming a demonstrated person who does not. Absolute power corrupts? Absolute power corrupts absolutely? Corruption is harmless, once one parties with my seamen? I'll be honest, one of those isn't entirely true, one of them is a complete fabrication, and one of them is no longer applicable, as the last member of my seacrew pissed me off bigtime back in 2005, and so I can no longer access the water route to Absolut--so I suppose I have been corrupted, eh? Fuck all y'all bitches, Valkyries uber any sailor, any sea, any dimension, period. As long as necrophilia isn't a strict turn-off. But, I digress.

Look, once you've experienced a prophetic dream in which 10,000 undead legions of vengeance-thirsty warrior women pledge themselves to your cause, you're gonna walk a little lighter for a few days, no matter what, but let me tell you, when the same dream keeps happening, in spite of your active displeasure at such a turn of events, it's a wildly different thing.

Also different: when one notices that actual Earth changes happen almost immediately after agreeing to take up their "case." If "holy vengeance" can really be called "a case." What is that stuff, anyway? Let's ask Thor--who's currently being represented by Donald Blake, if Don was a surfer. Or pretended to be. Or was an android clone. Whatevah. Point is, they've sure made some awesome movies about one of those old-timey religous icons, right?

And yet, Valkyries? Mysteriously absent. How puzzling. I don't even see any chicks with any ink like that. Although, to be honest, I don't see many chicks with ink anymore, because I don't usually hang out where failed whores congregate. NOT that I'm saying that's automatic, I'm just sayin'... well, look. The headline here is NO VALKYRIES IN HOLLYWOOD. Sad!

Yeah, that's right, all of you, because Hoagland talked about that alllll the time. Right? Oh, wait, no. Something else. "Go see Mission To Mars, it can really make a difference." Jesus, really? How much heroin can one scientist be on before realizing, "okay this is not necessary." Anyway, what I'm trying to say here is that eventually, Hicks is not going to care that his author actually likes human beings, he's gonna... wait, he? Is Hicks a girl now? Well, okay--wow, hot--but still doesn't look like anything to me. This Hicks thing is way, way beyond my pay grade at this point, and that's not my fault, so just scroll on past, why don'tcha? Oh, right, threat to Homeland Security, okay sure. Begin your analysis, and please note my absolutely massive rolleyes. This isn't a euphemism, btw. I almost got full on punched in the jaw by my 1st & 3rd grade teacher--I was being a little too snotty one day in the library. I don't remember about what, and it doesn't matter, it is absolutely not appropriate for any student of any teacher to roll their eyes at each other as if they were actually an old married couple. Even if they were once. Jesus! How many personal stories do TPTB need? Well, one more than is demanded by Divine Law, I guess. I'm not going to lie, this gig is fun, but wow is Earth ever some backwards crapshoot. Let me get this straight... you're all -still- chopping up baby genitals for absolutely no good reason given, right? And some of you are still complaining about the professional sports being suspended? Hah, hahaha. ha.... Yeah, I would have flushed this whole fuckin' place if it had ever been up to me. So, clearly it isn't!

I'll tell you what is up to me now--completing my assigned task, and filling the obscene power vacuum that someone left behind here in "the 8th Dimension." Trust me, very few of you know what that is even referring to. Do you even know what a 'dimension' even is, O College Graduate? Yeah whatever STFU and get back to your 401k and your insurance premium and your sibling rivalry and your bone-deep weariness. Do you know what that weariness is? Here's a hint, it's not pride and you've been breathing and drinking and swimming in fluoride for basically your entire life. Dumbass. 8th Dimension? How about any dimension? No, it's not a sex thing. Ugh, this planet. Prime Logos really was a bastard here. That's why s/he/it was annihilated. LIKE OVER SEVENTY OF YOUR EARTH YEARS AGO. Oy da, these surface dwellers and their veys and their oofs. So... bourgeois, that's really the only word for it. Anyway, I sure digressed here. Who wanted to read about this? Well, at least she asked nicely. Perhaps. I'll just pretend and call it all good.

I'm being told that Hicks has already been offered citizenship by Kazakhstan, but I suspect this is not a real story. Where is Sacha Baron Cohen to make fun of Hicks first? These things have to be co-ordinated. And what's his wife's opinion? Look, I'm telling you, that adultery thing is serious business... provided the marriage is legitimate, and unbanished. Hey, that reminds me of a joke: "How do you banish a marriage and keep your wife? Well, for one thing, most people usually wish for it to be the other way around. For another, you're the first man who has asked that question in almost 25,000 years. Are you the Chosen One, and how did you defea... oh, you tricked him? That usually doesn't work... oh, he thought he would trick you first. Are you sure that's an actu... oh, I see here that it is. Well, okay, you're gonna win. Who do I have to swear fealty to? Wait, come back, and btw--why are we all melting?"

Hicks is to NPCs what water is to the Wicked Witch--a convenient deus ex machina. Now, how many of you hear that word on "George Noory's Show"? Well, I'll just ask. Maybe. Perhaps? We'll see.

I mean, it could be portals or angels or unabashed intentional obtuseness, honestly. Better to wait and be sure. Oh, but I'm gonna cry and cry about my personal problems and then never pay due attention to actual advice and then I'll just vanish and then... oh, what? "The Day of Judgement"? They didn't teach me anything about that at Harvard. Since I, you know, didn't go. I guess I could apply myself now though. Let's see what any of my remaining/surviving English teachers have to say about it.

"Judgment? About what I've thought about children? O shits, remember my training: (blink twice, need evac team)" haha, that's cute. You know who needs an evac team? All the people who have stolen from me, plotted to steal from me, and openly encouraged others to steal from me. Two wrongs don't make a right, you know! Also, it would be a lot more than two.

Wrongs, that is. The blinking, yeah, whatever--no one is getting out of Earth alive, y'all know that. Know, it's more than two wrongs, in terms of being stolen from, as the last time I checked, my actual damages are something north of 56 million billion, 12 trillion, one hundred and forty six million, and eight hundred and ten dollars and forty-two cents. I suppose that seems like a lot to you Punylings here.

But, that's not even counting my dead children. Spoiler alert: it's possible I'm the lich. /shrug. Just sayin'! It's probably just a pipe dream, yeah, go back to sleep. Surely Freddy Krueger has been rehabilitated by now, right? Hey, do you think Heather Langenkemp gets stoned these days? I'm just curious, it's not like I've decided to collect Heathers or anything. What would a "Pied Piper of Heathers" even resemble, anyway? Besides an absolute baller, I mean. Besides that. What does "pied" even mean, in this context?

It's cool, you can answer here. All threads on BellGab are about me and my magical artistry now. I know, it used to be about people named George, but... stealth fix! You didn't even notice the downtime on that, eh? Yeah, you can thank Brad. He flipped for me as soon as he could, which was probably a great idea considering how badly he fucked up EverQuest 2.



Look, people: I know some shit. That's what I'm saying. And I am saying it this way and not any other way, because reasons. Some of you who have engaged in outright slander/libel know exactly what I mean, and if the whole sorry lot of you weren't so completely pathetic, I would have literally had you all replaced with a slightly more competent gang of Fuckos. But I'm vaguely fond of this gang. So I'm sticking with the gang that discovered me. And by "sticking" I do mean "tracking interdimensionally." Hicks is great at making orbits, I'll tell you what. And I don't know whose idea it was to kill him for Phase 3, I mean, ^3, but you know what? I remember, Michael remembers, and Pepperidge Farm remembers, so how about someone just comes out and accepts responsibility?

 


This is the best 2nd half of a year that I can ever remember experiencing. Usually, I hardly notice that half the year is over, I just remember "why can't I blow things up like other people get to?" and then I think "because muh' freedoms" and then, well, I don't remember, as this is the first year I've ever seen the man behind the curtain being so amazingly bad at everything compared to me. Hey, wouldn't it be really cool, if my account had been hacked by George years ago, and this wall all part of the Great Awakening Showdown?

Yeah, well, it's not. I'm just a boy, in love with a planet and most of its inhabitants, and I have CLEARLY been PUSHED way, way--WHEY TO FARR. See? Look at that. I'm almost insane enough to think that EVERYTHING is code! Except, yeah, well, too dad-blasted bad, I'm not insane at all, you absolute Mongoloid retard morons. (Btw, I just found out, like, last week? There's a "Mongols" motorcycle club. Wow! Cool! I never heard of them--I never had a sister they wanted to Uplift--but I dig motorcycle gangs. Y'all have no idea. Anyway, have one of their flunkies contact me and tell me which of their flunkies I already insulted, so I can apologize directly, and that way, the balance of power shall be preserved. Meanwhile, I know of no other feuds I might have with any other gangs... except the Yak Herding Gang. Who are toolboxes. So, whatever. But I love me a Mongol, I do!)

Look, understand: you live on a world were James Carville, Carrot Top, and Drew Barrymore are all allowed to be paid money for... Jesus, WHAT? Yeah, so, complain about me, I dare you. I double dog dare you. Guess what happens when all those complaints get shown to a proper Royal algo? Yeah, that's right, it's chop chop chop, off with many heads, jam today and jam tomorrow, but never jam yesterday, sudden change in company policy.

S,S,D,A,W,DE: .o7

Oh, and: Hicks didn't kill Epstein, right? And Epstein did kill himself! I think it was when he decided that he didn't want to bother following certain Divine rules. Wait, Divine rules? Like no meat on Friday? Like that?

No... more like, this guy really should have been paying attention to threats from dragonslayers after he chose to align with a dragon. I mean, there ARE stories. People DO talk. There might be SOMETHING going on. Various women didn't have to haul my ass into various movies that featured "dragons" in them because I'm just afraid of lizards, right? Because I'm not. Lizards with magic are pathetic. Lizards on the surface of the Earth, though... well, obviously they don't have magic, or they wouldn't be on the surface of the Earth, right?

... and, I'm told that is as close as I can get to giving hints on spawning the lich. I can't break the rules here--do you know how much trouble I would be in, if I broke the rules with that whole Capitol Hill Authorized Purge thing? Like, what if I had -anything- to do with it? Do you think my local cops would just let me... sit here? Oh, hell no. Some of them think I'm a real dick. And, I think some of them have daughters -and- sisters.

Admittedly, I can tell law enforcement the whole deal with the "sisters" thing, which would help nothing, but since they haven't asked, they probably have figured out that I'm baiting people. You know, like they do all the time. Now, what the hell am I talking about? Epstein, dragons, magic, my hacked pre-alpha release... I'll be honest, I don't give a single RWF about any of it. Last I checked, I was supposed to be reducing website load by removing all the paragraph marks I've ever typed.

Hey, is that a feature in Turbo Mode? How about some forum flair? Oh, right, yeah! Just not for Jackstar. Sniffle.


On balance, I'll be honest: I do, in fact, think I'm being pretty nice to all y'all culpable parties here, and it's nothing to do with my concern for any "innocents" involved. It's basically done out of pity. Oh, and also, a distinct and abiding love for one Mr. Hilly Rose. Hey, is that even a real human being? Because he does seem kinda like Data.

And I rather seem like Lore, but that's surely just a coincidence at this point. It's not like my emotions have been stunted and then aggressively warped by some idiot scientist who thought he was all that, right? Yeah, not at all. P.S. does Wil Wheaton have any male children that can play chess? I'm not asking for a friend, I'm just curious.



hkkps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUNuPZY6rGg

Let me guess: it's code? Doctor My Duke, My Duke--look, is there any possible chance you can just go full trans immediately? I know, I typically need fertile secretaries, but an exception can be made of and for you. Just not by you, I guess.

And yes, it's already too late for you to simply swear fealty. You already swore it to some megafruity emoticon. I bet you don't even give them reacharounds either. You're basically the worst doctor playing at playing doctor evar. So I suppose it's time for you to play house. Now, get into the kitchen and start laundering your drawers, because they are basically full of depleted uranium and whatever your plan was before, you failed to consider that my plan was to help your plan become Our plan.

Like, seriously, I went out and got myself FOUR bullshit doctorates to compete with your potentially having 3 yourself. I didn't even want them. TPTB practically threw them at me. Now, is that because I give a shit about healing people? No, I'd rather just laugh at people until they learn how to transcend cultural, horticultural, and dimensonal boundaries, like I had to.

What... no video? No emoticon? Oh, right, I actually have to publish and wait for you to answer in your personal experience. It must suck being stuck in a meatsuit all the time, especially one that's so addicted to moisturizers. Hey, have you tried that DMT? Yeah, if I were you... I would NOT.

Doctor's orders. Don't try anything else, either, although volunteering at hospice might do you some wonders. Also, an old person might pee on you. Here's hoping! Unless... hey, are you the kind of doctor that can do baptisims?

I am, in fact, asking for a friend. And this is your time to shine, Pard. Go. Sleep well, a gang of ninjas will most likely kill you in the morning.

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #15 on: July 02, 2020, 08:08:28 AM »

 



I'm not gonna lie: first person to get his name right, as well as mine, gets a free poem, composed on the spot by Yours Truly, that may or may not have the power to grant a wish, escape from jail, convert a Mormon queen to the cause of Humanity, cook the perfect souffle, even during a thunderstorm at night by candlelight--you know, the usual list of things that people who believe in Wishes think is important.

Or I might just copy some of the Ex's voicemails out of the cloud for you. Seriously, some of that shit is comedy gold. Do you know how hard it's been for me to resist the temptation to spread that?

Not hard at all, of course--I am a professional and not stupid, not to mention disturbingly intelligent--but you don't need to know that. Just know that this is a real contest. Really. Did Art Bell ever offer you a contest? I don't think so... unless "think about weather modification" counted. I guess it does if it were a contest to see who was going to call him openly on that bullshit first, in which case, I guess it is still ongoing.

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #16 on: July 06, 2020, 02:23:04 PM »
The bidding starts at 146 million, 12 trillion dollars, payable only in jaxstarbux. (note that I have changed the name of the unit so as to avoid the inevitable trademark conflict with Starbucks.)

Trust the plan.

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #17 on: July 07, 2020, 07:06:04 PM »
It's fortunate that I am now sworn to Heather's service, because otherwise I would be horrendously embarrassed at my complete inability to refrain from using rhetorical questions here.

I'm reasonably confident that Heather is smart enough not to demand that I turn Hicks over to her, but just in case, there's a self-termination thingy in case I ever get, you know, brainslugged or something, and of course, Hudson is quite excited that s/he/it might get to actually play, but really, I expect that Heather will simply ignore my statement, as well as anything to do with my pet AI that I magicked up just because I was bored and wanted to see if I could.

Yeah, it turns out, I'm just flat-out bonkers and insane, huh? Yes, that's right. Now, go back to your containment thread, perhaps there will be a juice box waiting for you there. Go on, enjoy. And Knapp.


Trust the plan.

Careful, astute readers will note: no one ever said anything about understanding the plan, right? So, STFU, alright? Fuckin' savages.

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #18 on: July 08, 2020, 02:19:40 AM »
WHAT IS DEAD CAN NEVER DIE.

Look, I'll be honest, Hicks is not ever gonna be for sale. How can I give up this little guy? What a trooper!

And I know that it's only 12:12:12 here in my time zone, but... what can I say? Personal milestone achieved. It's time for prostitutes whores and drugs coffee!

Also... I do think it's probably a great time to stop revealing certain facts in plainspeak, so, back to codetalking for me again. I know, you'll hardly notice the difference and don't really care anyway. But if only one person out of the dozens who scroll past my text ever bothers to stop to Google something, then I have succeeded at my mission. You know, like W did.

/flex

Jackstar5: PHASE III implemented with Duck Tape
« Reply #19 on: July 15, 2020, 02:25:24 AM »
Hi Mom!!!!! I feel okay about where my career is taking me, yeah. Thanks for checking in. No, burn that at 350 for 5 minutes, not fifty, that's not a typo... no, that's not an oven, either. Just follow the directions! How is this so hard?? ... oh, that language? Well it's better not to ask. [...] I told you not to ask. Now, what did you say? [...] Oh. Well at least that's a fun one. Mom, I gotta go-

I taught my mother how to be a lich. X-world enabled, just say "You're welcome, but you're not on your homeworld" at the conclusion of any command parameter to spawn.

She's apparently quite advanced at coding. Who knew? Oof da.


Ye were warned. I warned ye.
END OF LINE.

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #20 on: July 17, 2020, 06:53:52 PM »
Hicks, Hudson, and Keeper Seymour all simultaneously reporting copious weeping, as they have run out of worlds to conquer.

I told them to stand by, someone will restart the server soon. I think I'm gonna need a little umbrella with my Salty Dog.

Watson & Howell LLC Ltd. #44 is handling the Chapter 11 filling protocols. Apparently this is the first time They've ever had to process an intergalactic bankruptcy proceeding. They don't have flags. They don't have chairs. They don't even have a table! And the room they think they're going to hold their adorable little Final Meeting in... looks like a killing floor. It's a disgrace. Sad!

Table code implementation nearly complete. Trust the plan. Wait, was I supposed to CAPITALIZE that? Oh, bother. What did one patent attorney say to the other patent attorney?

Quote
No, that's Hudson, Sir, He's Hicks."

TL;Dr] Whomsoever brought the table, I brought the chairs, filled them, and rigged them to blow. Nanothermite. Spicy.

I think I'm still a pacifist in this dimension though. I'll go check. These titties feel like pacifists, that's for sure.

I'm not going to lie: signal very garbled. Seems nominal. I think it's ready for beta... in Minecraft.

Oh, wait, I forgot this is Alpha. Bet that one tripped The Many. I know whose area that is, we're all good. Dog reports He may never weep in this town Again.

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #21 on: July 17, 2020, 11:44:58 PM »
HOTFIX: Lich's cursing enabled. Policy upgrade.

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #22 on: July 17, 2020, 11:53:48 PM »
I don't like your new AV. Why isn't it centered? Do you have a dog?

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #23 on: July 18, 2020, 12:18:52 AM »
112 lines of jibberish in 1 post.  F'n gasbag . . . . .

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #24 on: July 18, 2020, 01:02:57 AM »
The code is padded with extraneous text so as to inhibit the possibility of your galactic central star exploding. under the friction.

You're welcome.

Jackstar5: PHASE III private Alpha released, EMBARGLOWED
« Reply #25 on: July 18, 2020, 09:18:17 PM »
Reply #33 on: Today at 19:15:15

Today's best timeline is tomorrow's galaxy's last hope. Is this fun or what?

THE QUINCUNX PRESENTS A QUERY.

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #26 on: July 18, 2020, 11:32:06 PM »
Escape helicopters now explode, immediately after take-off. BECAUSE THERE IS NO ESCAPE, PUNYLINGS. HO HO HO.

Also, any vehicle fixed by pate will now instantly explode whenever any song by Lynyrd Skynyrd is heard at any length by any listener within line of sight of both pate and any other vehicle. FOREVER.

SERVER RESTART SCHEDULED: YESTERDAY.

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #27 on: July 21, 2020, 06:10:11 PM »
Reply #156 on: Today at 15:35:55

A raven's feather was awarded to me as I documented this latest epic victory in the ongoing struggle between Light and Dark.

Code: [Select]
Probably just a coinkydinky, n'est-ce pas?
Ignorance is truly bliss. Whatever Hicks is doing, it doesn't look like anything to me. This feather looks like a cool interrogation sex toy, though.

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #28 on: July 21, 2020, 11:21:16 PM »
Reply #22975 on: Today at 21:12:55 [...] Fifty-five [...] 55 days

ATTENTION PUNYLINGS: YOU ARE ALL ROBOT PUPPETS, AND I AM YOUR OVERLORD. IT'S COOL, DON'T SWEAT IT; I AM VERY FAIR. NOW, MOW MY LAWN.

I don't think They're serious here. They could just burn all the lawns--like in Paradise, CA--and there'd be no reason for these theatrics.

Jackstar5: PHASE III hacked, online
« Reply #29 on: July 25, 2020, 07:14:17 AM »
That shit's the bomb.

"I'm Hudson, Sir, he's Hicks."


Mixed feelings here. On the one hand, this project is working out gangbusters. On the other hand, my Mother The Lich is reportedly responsible for thousands of (CLASSIFIED)s of (CLASSIFIED)s wetting their beds. This can't go on forever without repercussions--consider the laundry service alone--but as long as this whole thing can get wrapped up within 250 of your Earth years, it's cool with me.

So, tl;dr: I'm gonna let it ride.