All right kids, I've no shits to give if you're buckled up or not--you're taking a ride, whether you're ready or not.
It's immensely hard to overstate my personal satisfaction with the beginning of the week's events already in progress, but perhaps burying my face in a whole 13" cheesecake could do it.
#Faggacy
#SeeUinCourtPussyAss
#YourMother
Look at this fresh-faced country rube.
I made this. There are many rubes like it, but this one is one of mine.
I apologize for any inconvenience. I did get a little impatient early on,
n'est-ce pas? This soufflé does seem to have collapsed. I'm told that we can fix this in post.
You may be asking yourself, "Why is Jack still not working on fixing his 55th soufflé in post already?" The answer is
cheesecake because I'm an
artiste. These juice boxes don't fill themselves. In fact, I've got to fill one up and stuff it in a lunch sack, right now!
And, you can bet your sweet ass,
that's company policy. Hey, is it still a "mic drop moment" if I'm just stuffing it under a pillow? I'll take my answer off the air after the break.