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Pound The Legacy

Started by Jackstar, May 19, 2020, 01:21:42 PM

Jackstar

Look, look, read, read--what can I tell you? This is working out right, but it hasn't started correctly.


I left my Legacy in capable hands. I thought. That was my first mistake--thinking. Suffice to say, not the first time and won't be the last. In any case, the headline here is: job opening.

Requirements are quite basic. Demonstrations of initial interest & integrity may only be submitted to this thread--Phase II negotiations will be conducted elsewhere. This point is non-negotiable.

Beyond that, go nuts. I mean it--go nuts. I wanna see it here. Daily reminder: I get what I want.

WOTR

Welcome back, Jack.

The only way that I could even hope to be employed in such a capacity would be through a sock-puppet account...

Jackstar

DISQUALIFIED. Right out of the gate! Put back the horse.


Jackstar

Uncouth use of the 'quote' button is not a great way to start your application, Fishwife. Still, we all applaud your alacrity here. Allowed.

Roswells, Art

Quote from: Michael Kuczi on May 19, 2020, 03:41:49 PM
Uncouth use of the 'quote' button is not a great way to start your application, Fishwife. Still, we all applaud your alacrity here. Allowed.

O.K. I fixed it.

I'm also going with the second definition of fishwife. Yes, I googled it.

Jackstar

Quote from: Roswells, Art on May 19, 2020, 03:53:17 PM
I fixed it.

We are well pleased. Your supplications may yet continue. Primacy awarded. "Fishwife" denied--title already in use.

GravitySucks

Quote from: Roswells, Art on May 19, 2020, 03:53:17 PM
O.K. I fixed it.

I'm also going with the second definition of fishwife. Yes, I googled it.

Get back outside and finish cutting bait.

SredniVashtar

Quote from: Roswells, Art on May 19, 2020, 03:53:17 PM
O.K. I fixed it.

Your posts are always a work in progress. You almost always go back and change something. It's either a charming idiosyncrasy or the action of an OCD lunatic.

In deference to mudguts, who started this thread, I guess I'd better mention him or he'll sulk again. Jackstar's a grotesque thundercunt who should be fed feet-first through a bacon slicer.

Juan

Quote from: SredniVashtar on May 19, 2020, 04:23:51 PM
Your posts are always a work in progress. You almost always go back and change something. It's either a charming idiosyncrasy or the action of an OCD lunatic.

In deference to mudguts, who started this thread, I guess I'd better mention him or he'll sulk again. Jackstar's a grotesque thundercunt who should be fed feet-first through a bacon slicer.
That’s CDO.  What’s wrong with you?

Roswells, Art

Quote from: SredniVashtar on May 19, 2020, 04:23:51 PM
You almost always go back and change something. It's either a charming idiosyncrasy or the action of an OCD lunatic.

I'm almost certain it's the first one. I just wish I could edit real life. Anyway, I need to go and alphabetize all the clothes in my closet. Talk to you later.

Jackstar

Quote from: Flyingmerkitty on May 05, 2020, 01:55:28 PM
Mewling, bleating, drooling cowards, every last one of you.

Jackstar

Quote from: Roswells, Art on May 19, 2020, 04:57:22 PM
I just wish I could edit real life.

Well, I just took you off my ignore list, so there's a start. You should look into Bhuddism or chaos magick or Santeria or something. I think you've got a spark, Fishwife.


Quote from: GravitySucks on May 19, 2020, 04:04:43 PM
Get back outside and finish cutting bait.

She doesn't get to finish. There's always more chum to be had. #TheLegacy

Jackstar

Quote from: SredniVashtar on May 19, 2020, 04:23:51 PM
mudguts [...] grotesque thundercunt

One of these is my new safeword.


Jackstar

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on May 20, 2020, 03:30:21 PM
Jackstar?! ???

I'll let anyone rub my belly and make a wish... except you.

Dr. MD MD

Quote from: Jackstar on May 20, 2020, 03:39:09 PM
I'll let anyone rub my belly and make a wish... except you.

The real Jackstar wouldn’t have misspelled Buddhism. Maybe this is a new phase for you.

Jackstar

Quote from: Dr. MD MD on May 20, 2020, 03:40:38 PM
The real Jackstar

You're funnier when you're the bot. Go back to sleep.

Jackstar

Quote from: Jackstar on May 19, 2020, 01:21:42 PM
Requirements are quite basic.

A new duty has arisen. It is desired that any additional Keeper (Keepers are never replaced, only--perhaps--frozen in carbonite) is able to negotiate music licencing contracts. I am not kidding here. I cannot be bothered to deal with this kind of horse dick, I really can't. I gotta stay in the bathtub, and someone else has to slice the birthday cake, that is the motherfuckerbucker deal. It's also, your chance to shine! Bonus points if you can channel Ari from Entourage--that's not the professionalism that I wanna project, but damn, that would be so much fun to allow. Worth it. As those of you who are paying attention already know, there is not a shadow of a doubt that I will happily burn every shred of whatever might pass for my credibility on executing a good practical joke. Always worth it.

Credibility is easy to come by when one is intrinsically honest. Anyway, enough preaching. SEND ME MORE OOMPA LOOMPAS OM NOM NOM. SINISTAR HUNGERS. Fuck, I said that out loud again, oh, bother.



Jackstar

Quote from: SredniVashtar on May 22, 2020, 06:19:02 AM
armchair psychologist

This kind of criticism might perhaps land better if you and your gang of Mongoloid turbo-retards hadn't been leaning on the slander button, already non-stop for years. Whaddya want now? A Junior Detective Badge with Decoder Ring? Jesus, give it up, no one cares. The last dipshit who pulled the "it's not me, it's your mental illness and your DRUGS" literally ended up in--I am using the word 'literally' here--literally ended up in her own padded cell with her own straitjacket and her own dawning realization that she had been OUTPLAYED. Also, after months of accusing me of being NPD and BPD, she ended up with those diagnoses themselves. Fancy that. Who could have seen that coming?

Oh, oh, that's right: me. (Also, every other person with two brain cells to rub together who ever met her more than once.) Why don't you come by for a hair sample? You can take all your want from my taint, but on the condition that you collect the sample with only your teeth. If you don't have any, that's too bad, as well as comically stereotypical. Grazie.

I've rarely missed onan more than I do in this moment--he was a liar and a quitter and a faggot (and almost surely, still is), but still: he had zazz.

SredniVashtar

Quote from: Jackstar on May 22, 2020, 06:30:33 AM
This kind of criticism might perhaps land better if you and your gang of Mongoloid turbo-retards hadn't been leaning on the slander button, already non-stop for years. Whaddya want now? A Junior Detective Badge with Decoder Ring? Jesus, give it up, no one cares. The last dipshit who pulled the "it's not me, it's your mental illness and your DRUGS" literally ended up in--I am using the word 'literally' here--literally ended up in her own padded cell with her own straitjacket and her own dawning realization that she had been OUTPLAYED. Also, after months of accusing me of being NPD and BPD, she ended up with those diagnoses themselves. Fancy that. Who could have seen that coming?

Oh, oh, that's right: me. (Also, every other person with two brain cells to rub together who ever met her more than once.) Why don't you come by for a hair sample? You can take all your want from my taint, but on the condition that you collect the sample with only your teeth. If you don't have any, that's too bad, as well as comically stereotypical. Grazie.

I've rarely missed onan more than I do in this moment--he was a liar and a quitter and a faggot (and almost surely, still is), but still: he had zazz.


SredniVashtar

Jackstar is a living (if you can call it living), breathing (countless women can testify to his stertorous, anonymous gruntings down the phone line) advert for the dangers of doing drugs while expecting a baby. People told his mother that smoking crack while pregnant wasn't a good idea, but she just said, 'bitch, be cool, keep yo' cracker ass outta my biznatch.' Only to find, six months later, out popped this puling, paranoid panface.


whoozit

Jackstar’s glorious escape return!
https://youtu.be/ixbStXcVqW4

SpaceMeowMaid

DOOD! Where's my Legacy Kept? DOOD!

Ya mon chill out. Hit the hucca.

Or lets get froggy and start something cosmic.

How many times do I have to tell you, I know what I'm doing.... Even though
Ya I don't.... But to be fair there is no flow chart, no job description...

And so what if I think a Legacy might age better after being set free rather than KEPT?

My credentials are:

Singing in the shower  Cats love me  I weed not just smoking either 
Psychadelics a big YES  Charming  Pleasant  Encouraging  Attentive
Driving skills are GTA style complete with some reckless charges... I will get off
Please pray for me :) I LOVE JESUS
What do you need now? References? I'm the best just ask me!

Jackstar

Quote from: Flyingmerkitty on May 23, 2020, 03:08:23 PM
Please pray for me :) I LOVE JESUS

No begging. NO BEGGING. How many times I gotta?



I am sure you all believe you can see the problem now--I'll allow that. Further, I'll admit that, of all problems to be having, this one is literally ideal, nevertheless, I can't get nothing done under these conditions.

Quote from: Jackstar on May 19, 2020, 01:21:42 PM
I left my Legacy in capable hands. I thought. That was my first mistake--thinking. Suffice to say, not the first time and won't be the last. In any case, the headline here is: job opening.
[...]
Daily reminder: I get what I want.





Dr. MD MD

Quote from: Jackstar on May 19, 2020, 01:21:42 PM
Look, look, read, read--what can I tell you? This is working out right, but it hasn't started correctly.


I left my Legacy in capable hands. I thought. That was my first mistake--thinking. Suffice to say, not the first time and won't be the last. In any case, the headline here is: job opening.

Requirements are quite basic. Demonstrations of initial interest & integrity may only be submitted to this thread--Phase II negotiations will be conducted elsewhere. This point is non-negotiable.

Beyond that, go nuts. I mean it--go nuts. I wanna see it here. Daily reminder: I get what I want.


pate

Forgive je:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOKAIDpOY80

ediot: and another thanghttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-bgiiTxhzM
That is

All...

ToWitOt

-p

Jackstar

Quote from: Flyingmerkitty on May 23, 2020, 03:08:23 PM
I'm the best just ask me!

How hard is it? "Push the button," not "Grab the phone and then push the button." We've been over this. For hours. How hard? Apparently, completely impossible. I have gotten too old for this shit. You haven't actually "Kept" anything. Monitor threads. Report relevant news. Be cheerful, civil & pleasant. How hard is this? Apparently, completely impossible. I am using the word "impossible" here twice. Dear Jesus, rescue this woman from the searing flames of her own funeral pyre, and save her for the heat of spotlights.


You're fired.

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