Azzerae's World

[AZZERAE]

...

[AZZERAE]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_yTCODyUCE

[Jackstar]

AUTHORIZED. [...] This better blow something up.

Some men just want to watch the world burn. I am not one of those men. I am A Superior Selective Man. And, through the grace of God and the power of mathematical calculations--God Yes, Calculations No, 3mta3--I have managed to successfully reprogram The Plan, and have selected All-New Targets. BECAUSE JESUS SAID I COULD HAVE ANYTHING I WANTED. This is a plenty good enough reason for most people, it's certainly good enough for My Mother, The Ruler Of The Unified World Of The Undead (nice job, Mom, NOW GIMME), and I daresay, this reason ought to be good enough for any of you, and if not, we're taking it to the matresses, and here: I brought you your sheets. Yes they are--well, they are now, anyway, and I should know, because I bought them with the money I made from selling your crack, that same stuff you must be HAF on if you're gonna bother to argue this intense about accepting a gift of simple bedclothes. What have you got to lose here, honestly? Number One, you are already beyond defeated. Number Two: they're bulletproof, and there's no need to thank me, as they will prove to be absolutely no help to anyone whatsoever, other than that in addition to invulnerability to gunfire, bloodstains wash right out. Like fuckin' majik. Further: SUCCESS OF MISSION IS CONFIRMED. (I guess, independently, because I don't remember doing that, and it would seem implausible that I would have forgotten having done all that work.) Don't believe me now, don't believe me later, we don't have to make a big deal out of it--it was already a big deal, and my little part played isn't all that big a deal compared to overall size, complexity, and magnificence of what most of you know as... The Plan. (I imagine it appears a bigger deal to a Punyling. HO HO HO.) You're welcome. Don't clap, just get back to work... oh, right. No work is possible now, I just finished it all, for all of US, all at once. See? I told you I was really, really fuckin' lazy. Why hang up ninety-nine times, instead of just once? What are you, addicted to hanging up bottles of beer too? Weird. Well, whatever, Bailey and I are hitting the nearest bar A.S.A.F.P., and there's not a damn thing any of you can do about it. Shalom, motherfuckers--drink that milkshake. Don't forget to sanitize the straw first, the sanity station is right next to the door, as I am sure you are already well on your way out, and thanks for staying this long--obviously most people do not choose to get this far. Take those smallpox blankets with you on your way out, would you please? Then fucking burn them down. No, it's not a trick--We got those fuckers taken out too. HOOAH. F to respect. I bet you're not so fuckin' tired of winning anymore, right? Best Plan ever. THE BEST. I... can... say no more. Not even in MyWarcraft.

Okay, yeah, you got me--that last bit is a total lie. No, the other last bit--that milkshake might not be worth the five dollars it cost, but it's a pretty fucking good milkshake, and the milkshake is real, brought to you by the Milking Cows of Seaden Farm. (2 out of 50 states' governors suddenly burst out into wild applause. Oh you. Just stop. Thanks.) There's really just one new target. Grapefruit is not a target of MC jacKstar or any identities under his/her/ITS command, control, or concrete steps. (I don't think there's anything under my concrete steps, not anymore, but just to be sure I threw that in there. Also, I like the sound of it. And I love being SURE.) MC jacKstar alleges, demonstrates, and firmly avows that no work is being done against Grapefruit at all. Not by him--always--and as of this writing, no one at all at this time appears to be damnfool enough to trifle with My shields again--smart move, Punylings, Semper fi--and as she is under aegis, he oughta know. Hey, someone tell me what time she reads this, would you kindly? I'll ask her, of course, but if anyone should happen to find out from server logs or an overheard conversation, or news transmitted from a travelling spider--my old, old job--let me know the exact timestamp as well, would you please? It is not super important, but will add to my flair points I will one day be allowed to add to my chest tattoo. Or your arm's. Are you tired of being wet yet? Yeah, me neither.

Cool suit, huh? Please, hold your applause--and is that a crack pipe? NOW GIMME, you need both hands to properly hold your applause, right? I'll see that this gets back to Hunter immediately--and note the following: Number One, this doesn't look like any kind of crack pipe I've ever seen, because the one time I actually ever smoked crack, I was being held captive while blindfolded in a Lodge Hall basement supervillage, Number Two, that crack is ugly. (I think I got those in the wrong order, but I'll fix it in post.) Number three, no, I don't know who this "new target" even is, and playbook policy is that it would be someone who I don't even know, so there's no reason to bother torturing me for the information. Obviously, if I knew, I would just tell you right now.

Number four: if Grapefruit so chooses, she can dance in and out of my extended aegis all she likes. No conditions, no restrictions, et cetera. Earlier, she was kinda sweating all this crazy whacked out flabbergastery that I have been posting everywhere, for months, possibly, entirely due to the fact that even though I could have QUite SOme TIme ago added her to the list of her tribal connections that I have posted things* to, I only started informing her (PROTECTED) Angel at all, very recently.

Number five: there is no number five. Now, let that sink in.


As one might imagine, there's a big difference between hearing about something stupid and writing it off as "just crazy," and actually seeing something stupidly, yet 100% legitimately real, and discover that it was a just cause all along. Can an Angel ever feel stupid? What if it flies through a portal with a sign reading "THIS WAY STUPID"? That shit happens--though, I don't think that's quite what is happening here, but, well, Azz did ask "Why?" I thought about pulling up a "Why Ask Why? Try Dabs Dry" meme, but honestly, I am human being, G-ddamnit, my life has meaning, and there's a lot of shit I don't have to take anymore, or even pretend to. /flex


Let me know if you still think that this is incoherent, not coherent enough for you, or any other terminal objection, as it says right here in this rules pamphlet someone left for me in an undisclosable location, that I gotta let everyone have a chance to take a shot at the title, every time I wanna do something cool to (CLASSIFIED) reality. Sounds like a pain in the ass, right? Yeah, no kidding, it's really slowing me down. I don't know when my next casting is going to drop, and I've got three of them all lined up and ready to roll. (Why would anyone roll a joint twice? Oh, right, I don't smoke joints anymore, now I smoke (You). /flex)

[Jackstar]

hxxps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_yTCODyUCE_Is_This_Your_A_Game_?

Call me faggot. Go on. I want you to, *hugs*

[Dr. MD MD]

[AZZERAE]

Call me faggot.

Faggot.

[Dr. MD MD]

Faggot.

Ooh! Do me next.

[AZZERAE]

Do me...

I wouldn't dare.

[Dr. MD MD]

I wouldn't dare.

[Jackstar]

Faggot.

I know he is, but what am I, that I AM?

Bonus points are awarded if your answer is presented in the form of interpretive dance, but I gotta warn you--those points come out of my virgin butthole and have been shown to be, mole for mole, to be equally effective at pest control as kryptonite. (I have a disease with some peculiar side effects... but faggotry does not happen to be one of them, and the flaming anti-ant shit does not seem to pose any kind of difficulty whatsoever. It'll probably come in handy later... but I don't give a fuck how useful it may ever be, I am not storing my shit. Now that's fucking crazy talk. Just imagine it: little boxes of human fecal waste, scattered all over a house. Secreted all over the house. Like the boxes held a coin collection distributed for security reasons. Except if, instead of numismatic objects, their contents were actual shit. And, the actual shit of other people, and that shit was more likely to be stored in more secure locations within the house than the other boxes of shit. Holy fuck, did I just imagine this, or did it get reported on CNN? Seems more likely to be on Drudge, but of course if it were, I would never hear about it. Now, my good people, my friends... my family, if that is "insane," I am nowhere near that level, haha. Storing old love letters is as far as that goes. Don't buy the hype, or trust those surveillance reports, or those remote viewers, I don't care what they say. Sanity rules the day here.)

Did you look into Apex Water? Just curious. I imagine you to be busy delivering all that crack, or something. Code. Delivering code. I got it right the first time, right? OMG THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME HERE OMG OMG OMG IT WORKS. *ahem* Look, I'm happy. How about you?

[Dr. MD MD]

And the code...

[Jackstar]

Storing old love letters

Oh yeah, I almost forgot and I am pleased to be reminded. I'm totes ready to get on that collaboration we talked about--however at the present time, I am legitimately afraid to go into my email and start searching for that one piece of mail you sent me that one time with those unfinished panels. Would you mind sending it again--if still available, another or more samples if available--as I am about to get a lot more available free time for myself, and I would like nothing more than to get on that project. With you. Yeah, that project is going to be a beauty, alright. I bet you thought I wasn't taking you seriously.

These things have to be co-ordinated. Unless I get to use Sourcery? Yeah, I know, right? It's really not that effective at solving most problems and typically always, causes far more problems than it almost always ever could address. So I did it the old fashioned way--I did it live. (As a courtesy, out of respect, and for style. No other reason, NO RLY.) Hook it up again, would you please? No, you're the star! Grab my pussy! But only if you want to. (A clever paradox I first used to win at Tournament back in Sparta. Yeah, I'm an old soul, big deal--so are You.)

[Jackstar]

Ooh! Do me next.

Oh ffs, get your ass down from that G-ddamned cross--you're not even hanging on it the right way, you nub, I'll show you how it's done later with a real one, that one is a replica, aka a toy, and however much you paid for it, you got ripped the fuck off--now hit the showers, Kid. Twice. Look, if I'm lyin' I'm dyin'... you might have yourself some kind of a condition.

Don't forget the toes. Burn the towels after drying. Yes, dry the towels, then burn them, you read me right. Duh, how are you going to burn a damp towel. Badly, that's for sure. Especially for anyone's lungs within about a 20 mile radius. KILL THEM WITH FIRE.

Can you imagine this shit on D-Day? It would have been over before lunch. team/solo/flex

[Jackstar]

And the code...

Can you break this down for me? My eyes are going bad. Don't tell Tuna Salad, she'll freak out when she finds out it's probably actually SARS-CoV2 and we're all already far beyond fucked. Why spoil everyone's final 9 years? I can't imagine how deeply into Heaven's Gate the shrieking could extend, especially when I casually mention, "Oh, yeah, I knew that since The Great Valentine's Day Reckoning of 2020." My eardrums are throbbing with gentle pulses as the nightsweats come on already, I'm getting hot just thinking about how that could come down. So don't breathe a word, and she'll never read this post--lol--count on it.

I do hope I am wrong (that shit happens, albeit rarely, NEVER FORGET), in spite of what that would ultimately be an indicator of. So lonely. Sob, Bra. GAROTTE. Anyway, I'd like a new CAPTCHA please. Can I get one out of your butthole? No? Awwwww. How about now? Damn it!

Okay. I consent. I'll ask for the provenance later. APOSTILLE WINDOW CLOSES.

(You missed Me, Bitch. FU.)

[Nyewalker]

Some men just want to watch the world burn. I am not one of those men.

Apparently neither is Azzerae ...

[Dr. MD MD]

Oh yeah, I almost forgot and I am pleased to be reminded. I'm totes ready to get on that collaboration we talked about--however at the present time, I am legitimately afraid to go into my email and start searching for that one piece of mail you sent me that one time with those unfinished panels. Would you mind sending it again--if still available, another or more samples if available--as I am about to get a lot more available free time for myself, and I would like nothing more than to get on that project. With you. Yeah, that project is going to be a beauty, alright. I bet you thought I wasn't taking you seriously.

These things have to be co-ordinated. Unless I get to use Sourcery? Yeah, I know, right? It's really not that effective at solving most problems and typically always, causes far more problems than it almost always ever could address. So I did it the old fashioned way--I did it live. (As a courtesy, out of respect, and for style. No other reason, NO RLY.) Hook it up again, would you please? No, you're the star! Grab my pussy! But only if you want to. (A clever paradox I first used to win at Tournament back in Sparta. Yeah, I'm an old soul, big deal--so are You.)

Can you break this down for me? My eyes are going bad. Don't tell Tuna Salad, she'll freak out when she finds out it's probably actually SARS-CoV2 and we're all already far beyond fucked. Why spoil everyone's final 9 years? I can't imagine how deeply into Heaven's Gate the shrieking could extend, especially when I casually mention, "Oh, yeah, I knew that since The Great Valentine's Day Reckoning of 2020." My eardrums are throbbing with gentle pulses as the nightsweats come on already, I'm getting hot just thinking about how that could come down. So don't breathe a word, and she'll never read this post--lol--count on it.

I do hope I am wrong (that shit happens, albeit rarely, NEVER FORGET), in spite of what that would ultimately be an indicator of. So lonely. Sob, Bra. GAROTTE. Anyway, I'd like a new CAPTCHA please. Can I get one out of your butthole? No? Awwwww. How about now? Damn it!

Okay. I consent. I'll ask for the provenance later. APOSTILLE WINDOW CLOSES.

(You missed Me, Bitch. FU.)

Oh ffs, get your ass down from that G-ddamned cross--you're not even hanging on it the right way, you nub, I'll show you how it's done later with a real one, that one is a replica, aka a toy, and however much you paid for it, you got ripped the fuck off--now hit the showers, Kid. Twice. Look, if I'm lyin' I'm dyin'... you might have yourself some kind of a condition.

Don't forget the toes. Burn the towels after drying. Yes, dry the towels, then burn them, you read me right. Duh, how are you going to burn a damp towel. Badly, that's for sure. Especially for anyone's lungs within about a 20 mile radius. KILL THEM WITH FIRE.

Can you imagine this shit on D-Day? It would have been over before lunch. team/solo/flex

^^^^^^^^
Essentially, all your posts now.

[Nyewalker]

Yes. I've been in touch with her.

Confirmed ...

[Ciardelo]

...you need both hands to properly hold your applause, right?

I'm not going to lie, Stellar could learn a thing or 2 from this.

[Jackstar]

Essentially, all your posts now.

See, I told you it had nothing to do with being on the crapper while writing. (LBJ was onto something, though.) So as I said, that word you kept using--shitpost--does not mean what you think it does, and whatever concept you wished me to be aware of then--and it sure was fucking important to you, omg, so important you probably should have made sure you were using the right g-ddamned word, Captain Literacy--is -still- lost on me, because only two of my last 48 hours of posts were composed while shitting, and thus, with Our Key, access to Our Knowledge is hereby granted. In WarMyCraft.

(Missed Me again, Bitch. What, did I stutter? FU. Stop obsessing on me, Moron, and release all the fruits. (I am using the words "ALL" and "Fruit", and in Bonus Round, capitalization really matters, and scores can really change.) I will consent to your retention of ALL the Salads--they are not covered by my present mandate and so your exclusion claim is recognized as (PROTECTED) status Q+, welcome aboard Sir and/or Ma'am, yes, that's right, I am totes not referring to any President(s), not at all--and salute your marginal yet significant victory. Beginner's Luck, I'd say--not to mention, Little Help--and I'd recommend Getting Lost after this. Q+ is actually on a self-destruct timer, and just and only because you thought you were clever when you forged up all that street cred you burned, some poor bastard is down in Engineering holding the doors open for you. And do you know why? Because he loves you more than anyone else ever did, still. Oops, there goes one of his arms. Weak. It's in splinters now, wow, I bet that looks like it hurts. I'd say he's got about five minutes left until he's... well, lets just say, unhealable. Looks like he was fortunate with his ankle placements, the other arm looks like it might hold up an extra 3 or 4 minutes longer than initial projections, yet, that is a projection itself. Now, when you get there--take the elevator, 87 floors down, then take a sharp right and take the emergency elevator up--make sure you tell him that if he knew what I know, he could get those arms back into shape in a jiffy, literally, but because he didn't pay attention in class that day, he's gonna be laid up an extra three weeks in Sickbay. This will infuriate my nemesis. You don't need to know who that is; I apologise. I would LOVE TO TELL you, lol, but there are some rules I will not break. I won't tell you that either, Chica--there are ZERO rules that YOU wouldn't break, wink-wink. You know where to find me, after the dust is all gone and The Moon has come up. Grapefruit will be very impressed--eternally impressed, in fact--by whatever you choice you make here, so I would honestly recommend taking some time to at least make sure it looks like you put some thought into it, but I heard you vaped so much that you're no longer classifiable as an "Airhead," as you can only be measured by industrial and scientific equipment. Because Guild policy. Oh, there's always some reason, and in your case... you already seem to have bitten off quite a mouthful already, and if you had actually started to chew any of it before listening to my mandated monologue, you might perhaps be a fifth of the way through being done. Bon Appetit, and that door to your side? GET THE FUCK OUT, SATAN. Now you: out the one behind me if you want to live. Well, I don't care which one you go through, Grapefruit will be fine either way, and I really don't give much of toss for anything else right now until late February, so: do as thou wilt, Good Dog. Let me hear a woof and see a wiggle. Awwwww! 'Dorbs. No. No, it's time to go, and by the way, while I've been sitting here chewing the fat with you, someone else, that you have never even heard of, is being tortured to death in endless agony at a pace so slow as to be undetectable to human perception. So if you would be so attentive to what is crucial in Life, run along now, because when your time here runs out, so does their stasis field. Oh, should I have told you about that part first? I guess you should have asked. What are you looking for now? You seem in a... panic. What's wrong? Really. I just told you. You smoke that much weed? If your short-term memory retention is that bad... well, I am not that kind of Doctor who is allowed to say for certain--not a Medical Doctor, that is to say, let me be clear--and it's just from the weed, you might have yourself a dire condition. Quite dire, indeed. Unless you wished to be turned into an actual toad? Yeah, it's an older failsafe, but it sure did the job this time, eh? Gosh, it's a good sign that you've instantly pivoted from panic to rage--looks like The Real You is in okay shape. Definitely not just weed, eh? Savage, let's go out for ice cream later. Much later. Yes, that's right, pick up all your shit, chop-chop, and I'll say good-bye here at first... and at last:

EXIT THROUGH THE DOOR TO YOUR SIDE, THE ONE BEHIND ME IS FARTHER, YOU HAVE LIMITED TIME LEFT, THIS PARTY IS OVER (For You), SO FUCKING GET TO FUCKING THE FUCK OUT, FUCKER. Fair warning.
I'll stay here. This is fine. /flex No, really, you gotta go, I, in fact, can see you later--sounds like a nice time, in point of fact--but you really probably do not want to be around here when this place blows its top.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CFWX0hWCbng

Time's up, Bear. Wow, that was fast. Now, what's my password again? What?


These remaining Thelemites are stupid. WTF Azzerae, where's the "A"-gamers at? I was expecting waves of them. This huge bag of dicks I brought will go to waste without proper moving targets. They won't go to waste, of course--plenty of people around here aren't going to let a perfectly good bag of dicks go to any waste--but seriously...

I brought enough for an army. I didn't see any army. Where did they go? My chubbe is steadily increasing from Quarter to HALF. It would be difficult to overstate my satisfaction with how recent events have unfolded without using the word LOSERS, but here, I'll give it a shot solid attempt:

LOSE..

^^^^^^^^
[...] your posts now.

Hey, anybody wanna go get some shawarma? I'm gonna stay here and scrape some forums--oh, no reason, routine maintenance--and I'm going to be hungry, horny, and happy by the time someone gets back to me. Very happy. Welcome to Masterpiece Hour-Long Theater, already in progress.

Yeah, coming in at the middle does make it a bit hard to follow, doesn't it? Next time, don't be late. Thought you were waiting for me, did you? Wow, I wonder what that's like. Oh, I bet you are--class starts Friday, but we could start immediately if you want. Yeah, sure, a bullet, concrete shoes, a woodchipper, anything you like, it won't be any skin off my nose, that's for sure, and as you may have heard, Jesus is very forgiving. So if it really is simpler to just... kill the husband, well, I don't even know what or who or wait, what? Really?

I'll be honest: I wish I could help. Godspeed your way back to me, and don't worry about Me, as We're all rooting for you two crazy kids all up in this bitch. Of course you don't understand! Here, we call that code. I bet you are confused! Let's get out of here, get to an environment conducive to proper study habits, and after just five minutes with Jackstar, you'll be able to figure it all out yourself, and then... explain it to him. Doesn't that sound nice?

It sure does to me, although as that would be in fact the first fucking time, I can only assume that you're gonna give me herpes or something. Yeah, that's what they all say... we'll just see, okay? Well, because you get to be my first fuck in my new meatsuit. It's another human--except not broken, lonesome, ornery, and mean, and just imagine the poetry--so I don't imagine its first load is going to take a whole lot longer than fifty seconds, let alone five minutes. Oh, yeah, no: you teach me, I fuck you, it's kinda like prostitution, but there's actual learning involved, so it's nothing like whoring at all. At. All. I'm glad you seem so confident, but still--colour me skeptical and dubious like in those old-timey 3D movies. Speaking of which, here, you'll need these red/blue paper glasses. I know, it's nuts romantic, right? Nevertheless! I'll be honest--I'll pick herpes over a Clinton presidency, so let's just take it one step at a time from this point forward, Typhoid Mary. Oh, about twenty years ago. Because I never used it to get laid before, that's why. Because I thought it would have felt like cheating. I don't know, ask me again after I fuck your brains out, if you actually have any left then to form a coherent spoken question at all. Yeah, I got plenty of spare brain, you're beyond under, within, and around aegis, and in a worst case scenario situation, I'll let you take a bullet and then resurrect you, which also sounds like cheating because it fucking well is. God doesn't like cheaters much. Funny how none of the books mention that, huh? "Thou Shalt Not Cheat." How hard would it have been to include that one on the list? Pretty hard, right? Heh heeeeeeee heh. Yeah, I never heard that kind of laughter before either. I don't think we should worry about it, as it might be a genetic memory I picked up from a bioweapons attack in Esperance. Well, let's just say I picked up a secondary infection, it sounded like a lich to me too, and whether we need to be concerned or not, if I don't get out of here and get to fucking inside you, I am going to lose my cotton-pickin' mind.

Thanks, because at this point: what difference does romance make? Well, all the difference in the world. LIGHTS OUT, GEORGIA.

I mean, if this is what it takes to save Humanity from extinction and preserve the Constitution and get into your pants, sure, I'll do it. Obviously. I'd even eat a collection of chocolate coins. Extinction is bad, right? Yeah, whatever. What brand are those pants? I gotta know. I will know. I can't remember. Hey, are you a Mason?

Just curious. *snap* Nice world you've got here, Azzerae--it would be a shame if anything happened to it. Cya soon. Also, I left you some truffles, they're in the fridge, (PROTECTED)ass. Oh, you're welcome, quite certainly. Now, let me tell you a real story:





THE END. If you live through until morning, I'll probably tell you a real story then. Buckle down Buttermilk, We are gonna need a fresh sample. Eewww, gross. Only you would think that anyone would ever need a _____ sample, you know? Sicko. Just wait until your Mother finds out... and, in fact, I think I hear her calling for you now. No, that's not a lich, that's your mother, and if she wasn't a whorelich before, well... that shit happens, sometimes. Ooops, not my bad, but my sympathies. ALS is bad, sure, but unchosen servitude in My Mother's Lichdom is probably not a whole lot better--for you. Respect her anyway, no matter what, she's only trying to be nice, and trust me, as far as she knows, everything is just fine. So far. (lighting bolt with muted laughter as thunder) Now, that's a lich. Yeah, they come in six-packs now: New Royal Administration Decree. Well, I guess technically Joe is, but obviously, not really. How many states do you think the U.S. of A. really has? Oh, sure, fifty, yah, okay. So, over there on the left and the right, that's My Mother, The Lich Queen. Yeah, she's bilocating--she likes to show off even more than my father did, and he was a star athlete. Cool, huh? I think she's compensating for something, honestly, but as long as they don't ever need to have their asses wiped, she can have as many patsy clones as she likes, and all the better, they don't even need to eat, they can feed off of each other's laughter. I wouldn't recommend hoping to find out what that sounds like, trust me on that. Oops, too late, yeah, liches can telepathically sense your hidden desires and then do a back-flip through a time portal and come out the other side with a ready and infinite supply of whatever your idle daydreams most recently contained--as long as it's something really nasty. Because they're out for vengeance now, I guess--I would assume that my Mother did not go to all this trouble to ascend into Lichdom and seize the Crown of All without a very good reason behind it, and I would assume that vengeance has been on her mind from a much younger age than most people--although not me. Heh heh. Oh, yeah, I'm fully on board with The New Queen Mother. That's right, I do not serve evil--and now, I serve my mother in her legitimate pursuit of holy vengeance, and as I happen to be a legal specialist in the extremely niche discipline of Kanly--the laws governing ancient rituals of blood magick and berserker vengeance, and thanks for asking! So few people do, which honestly really puzzles me. I think it can only be that everyone who knew, knew not to ask, and everyone who saw or heard me use the word, simply... forgot to ask what it meant. Whoops. What a coincidence! I did not see that coming--definitely not any glamor of mine, at least not that I remember, let me ask. Oh, haha. Turns out that was what she needed my prepuce foreskin for, as a required spell component. Well, yeah Mom--now that I know, I absolutely agree, totally worth it. I hope you kissed it good-bye before you boiled it in what would undoubtedly have been a most adorable little cauldron. Copper metal or traditional black? Nigger CoP? That doesn't sound like any kind of material used in the making of High Magick Spell Component Paraphernalia, but I guess she was 88 moves ahead of everyone--even Christ, which is a cool trick. I don't know, I never studied that, I just heard of it once while listening to Jesus give a lecture at Invisible College. All the time. Well, of course you never heard of it--it's, like, actually not visible. You know they say, "seeing is believing?" Yeah, well: listening is everything. Remember that for later, but now, get ready to take The New Administration's New Gom Jabar. Gee, I don't know. I guess I forgot. Because I made myself forget, after I saw the New Gom Jabar. Yeah, you're not going to like it much either, but cheer up: if you're human, you're guaranteed to survive. Gee, I don't I know. I guess I forgot. Okay, I'll ask her. Hahaha! She says she won't tell me until she tortures it out of you. I know, right? She was nucking futs before she became a lich, and it looks like being already a murderously insane embodiment of a pursuit for vengeance was really a big boost in her ability to outwit all the other Lichen Royalty before the last of her human brain decayed away. Well, when I found her, she was eating the last of the brains of the children of the cult of the silent speaker and fingerpainting glyphs on the walls in her own blood, so, yeah--I don't think she's human at all anymore, but she's still Mom. Hi! (A lightning bolt crashes into the floor. A faint smell of cookies hangs in the air.) Oh yeah--there was a shitload of blood everywhere, and I think there were an even dozen members of the last royal lich family, and she ate every last one of their brains whole, half with mustard, and half with more mustard. Honestly, I could not be more proud of her. #JustLichThings She's staying, and I am nonchalantly leaving this building. Oh, I'm sure you'll be fine, if Mom is gonna start actually causing actual family members any actual suffering, she certainly wouldn't be starting with you, and if I know my Mother--and, I do--I'd likely be staying for a whack at her first target. What a bitch. Anyway, I hope you needed all this expository dialogue, because I know what that's like, here, give it up for a real man hug, no, not like that, in my homeland, my people call that "Tummysticks," and you're saying that's a hug? Ohhkay fine, well I would love to know what the color the sky was on your homeworld, and I am using the word "was" here, because after that last revelation I can only hope that was one of the homeworlds that we annihilated already. Yeah, you didn't like it either--and it was your homeworld. What does that tell you? Let it sink in. Good bye, good talk, and good luck, especially if anyone is really counting on you.

Surely, I am. ciaopeace

[Jackstar]

Yep, that's Mother alright. I would recognize the difference between her and any of her tulpas anywhere--behind a car, beside a car, halfway under a car, in front of a car, inside a car... the works.

Confirmed ...

Case closed. Well... "miss her." You get that she can fuckin' teleport, right? Yeah, last I heard. Okay, whatever, we can pretend that I'm the delusional one and you know what you're talking about for awhile. Doesn't that sound nice? Oh yea. Hang on, I gotta look something up.

So let's see, in this book, "How To Actually Never Laugh (And Never Have To Pretend)", let's check the index for "tight-lipped smile" because--call it a theory--I'm gonna need this one a lot, and I am going to take it all the way to Carnegie Hall if the world holds itself together long enough to get enough practice time. Huh. It's not listed, but there's an entry for "tight-ass" so let's try there. That might be close enough, right? Okay, page 13... and, what do you know. Wow. Who could have seen this coming?

There's her picture right there, it says "TIGHT-ASS SMILE" at the top, and this glossy of her fills up the whole page. Looks like a glossy parallel shot though--definitely the same person, clearly also a tulpa, no clear sign that it's the same tulpa. Fancey that. What a convenient circumstance for someone who isn't me and isn't consumed with an indefatigable desire to track down her--its--location. That's the kind of thing that psychokinetic shielding isn't so good at holding back, tests that a psycho would fail. Now, see here at the bottom, all it says is:

Consider The Difference Between Your Lips And Their Ass.


Oh, well then. Mastered the "tight-lipped smile" manuever, just like that. Cool. *snap* Is there any shawarma left? Fuck, it's a quarter to eight again. I fucked up the whole schedule again. That's too bad. I don't know for who, but it must be somebody, else... why would there be a schedule at all? Oh, yeah--thanks, God.

Thank you so, so much. May I flex? Oh yeah, I can take my answer off the forum, in fact--I insist.

[Nyewalker]

Apparently cause Biden doesn't like your Podcast either

Travel from South Africa Banned

[AZZERAE]

Elegant. Radiant. Beautiful. And intelligent. What more could any man ask for?

[AZZERAE]

Travel from South Africa Banned

Believe me, France is more my thing anyway.

[AZZERAE]

Truth be told, I just like you too much these days.

[AZZERAE]

I'm gonna hafta start commissioning you to create my show art if this keeps up. Then I can focus on my vocals, while you draw the pi'tures!

[AZZERAE]

Did you look into Apex Water? Just curious. I imagine you to be busy delivering all that crack, or something.

My old man sure talks a good game about it. But I tend to cover my ears when the elders try to get their message across. Run through the mine fields. Lose limbs in real time. Make my own mistakes. I feel a life well lived is less inauthentic that way.

[Dr. MD MD]

I'm gonna hafta start commissioning you to create my show art if this keeps up. Then I can focus on my vocals, while you draw the pi'tures!

That’s not one of yours?

[AZZERAE]

the code

Get a load o' this isht:



And buy some South African souvenirs while ya at it. Ultra rare, for pennies on the Dollar.

Plug plug.

[Jackstar]

Elegant. Radiant. Beautiful. And intelligent. What more could any man ask for?

I feel as though torn, between answering and risking a spoiled surprise, or, being told that anything funny I post is deemed offensive, or serious deemed a joke, et cetera.

Given your lengthy opportunities to make your preferences known, and your failure to take those to open up to, one is thus given licence to use divination.

And so, to answer your question, what more to ask for? Here you go: How to spell words correctly.

And, one more thing, what more to ask for? A g-ddamnd baby sitter. That's where you come in. As you'll recall, I mentioned mentoring. Okay, well, you didn't get a downgrade, she simply began to behave as though she was a 19yo girl. (I'm being polite.)

You get that you aren't doing anything but helping everyone out here, and, being snotty and obnoxious while doing it, right? Well, maybe not. Azz... why so snotty? It's honestly puzzling. Are you unconsciously influenced, or did you really wish to appear that way? I think it is important to understand, I don't always understand things without extra attention, and if I am to expected to understand by myself, well, that's easy.

Simply let me know. How hard could that even be? These are serious questions, and if she allows you to be not seriously... she will not take YOU seriously. Did you not know this yet? Hah!

[AZZERAE]

As you'll recall, I mentioned mentoring.

You're taking me under your wing! I knew it!!!