Bakegab: The Bellgab Bakeshop

[albrecht]

Belgian Waffles (also plums!)



What passes for a Belgian waffle in this country is a patent fraud.  Belgian waffles are a rich yeast dough (really more of a paste) with cookie-like ratios of butter, sugar, and eggs to flour, into which lumps of sugar are worked just before they hit the iron.  As the sugar melts in the heat, it suffuses through the dough remaining sufficiently separated to collect on the grilling surface, coating the waffle in a crunchy burnt-sugar glaze.  They are good enough to eat out of hand, best still barely warm.  The entire point of a waffle iron is to maximize the surface area exposed to the heat, not to make extra big holes for the syrup or whatever dreck you have to put on the tasteless thing just to choke it down.

Here is a giant closeup in the sunshine which I have enhanced to show the glaze -- zoom in to view the lusciousness!:



If you have a Belgian waffle iron, it's worth it to try just once to see what it is actually for.  Pearl sugar is the usual key ingredient but you can crush sugar cubes, the older and harder the better, with a hammer or a marble rolling pin and sift for the larger chunks.  You are looking for sugar bits between the sizes of a shelled and unshelled sunflower seed.  Recipes which reference Gaufres de Liège are the ones you want.

The Low Countries are such because they are adaptable, lest they get invaded, traded, etc. One thing that was good is Stroopwafel which I figured was brown sugar or molasses on some kind of burnt dough. Something for kids at a fair while other eat good,raw herring. I think I was correct. I do want to understand the difference though between dark/light brown sugar, sorgum, and molasses. I used to like sulpherated molasses on pancakes. But my real, that gets me into trouble at IHOP or such places, is I like sour cream on them and very light syrup- if any. They claim "international" but don't understand this item sufficiently.

[Walks_At_Night]

^^^^ Fake news.  Not raining..........

[albrecht]

Watch out. House is going to go into another Session to deal with the Post Office! I kid you not. Remember what they said about the Post Office. And that was when it was a government agency not the PPP situation now. 

And I still wonder about brown, light/dark, sorghum, sugars. Not that I use them. Norry and Doc Wallet says cancer!

[K_Dubb]

The Low Countries are such because they are adaptable, lest they get invaded, traded, etc. One thing that was good is Stroopwafel which I figured was brown sugar or molasses on some kind of burnt dough. Something for kids at a fair while other eat good,raw herring. I think I was correct. I do want to understand the difference though between dark/light brown sugar, sorgum, and molasses. I used to like sulpherated molasses on pancakes. But my real, that gets me into trouble at IHOP or such places, is I like sour cream on them and very light syrup- if any. They claim "international" but don't understand this item sufficiently.

I could see your sour cream being really good, that tang with a little sweetness.  I've wondered whether stroopwafels started out in a similar way with the filling actually cooked in the waffle -- these days I think they're usually made like a sandwich after the waffle layers are done.  I've only tried packaged ones and they're not that great but they're popular enough I can get them down the street so somebody likes them.

I love molasses, the darker the better.  Grandpa used to drink what he called "tiger's milk" which was brewer's yeast and blackstrap stirred into warm milk and I think an egg, don't know if that was an old country thing or if he picked it up here.

[K_Dubb]

^^^^ Fake news.  Not raining..........

Are you kidding it was 100 over the weekend!  I haven't worn a shirt for seems like a week.

[Walks_At_Night]

Are you kidding it was 100 over the weekend!  I haven't worn a shirt for seems like a week.

Oh my.  That is warmish. Did you ride the train down to SeaTac and back to stay cool?

 

[K_Dubb]

Oh my.  That is warmish. Did you ride the train down to SeaTac and back to stay cool?

Hahaa that is gross!  I did not; I absolutely reveled in it.  The house came with air conditioning but since I don't have sweaty little dogs any more I never turn it on, I don't think it's healthy.  Warm nights feels like I'm somewhere tropical on vacation.

[WOTR]

Belgian Waffles (also plums!)



What passes for a Belgian waffle in this country is a patent fraud.  Belgian waffles are a rich yeast dough (really more of a paste) with cookie-like ratios of butter, sugar, and eggs to flour, into which lumps of sugar are worked just before they hit the iron.  As the sugar melts in the heat, it suffuses through the dough remaining sufficiently separated to collect on the grilling surface, coating the waffle in a crunchy burnt-sugar glaze.  They are good enough to eat out of hand, best still barely warm.  The entire point of a waffle iron is to maximize the surface area exposed to the heat, not to make extra big holes for the syrup or whatever dreck you have to put on the tasteless thing just to choke it down.

Here is a giant closeup in the sunshine which I have enhanced to show the brittle and not sticky (despite the shine) glaze -- zoom in to view the lusciousness!:



If you have a Belgian waffle iron, it's worth it to try just once to see what it is actually for.  Pearl sugar is the usual key ingredient but you can crush sugar cubes, the older and harder the better, with a hammer or a marble rolling pin and sift for the larger chunks.  You are looking for sugar bits between the sizes of a shelled and unshelled sunflower seed.  Recipes which reference Gaufres de Liège are the ones you want.

I believe I have a Belgian waffle iron... But I have been using a 1934 model that is in my kitchen instead. I absolutely love the "old school" look. That said, I have been meaning to expand my recipes. One for "yeasty" waffles. But also one for waffles made with Kefir. I wonder if I could combine the two concepts?

I know that you are now part of the "make America Pate again" campaign. But please be sure that you don't bake a "MEGA" hat shaped cake. "Imagine, if you will, living in a country where baking the wrong cake can trigger individuals..."

[K_Dubb]

I believe I have a Belgian waffle iron... But I have been using a 1934 model that is in my kitchen instead. I absolutely love the "old school" look. That said, I have been meaning to expand my recipes. One for "yeasty" waffles. But also one for waffles made with Kefir. I wonder if I could combine the two concepts?

I know that you are now part of the "make America Pate again" campaign. But please be sure that you don't bake a "MEGA" hat shaped cake. "Imagine, if you will, living in a country where baking the wrong cake can trigger individuals..."

Haha I believe you are quite the hipster!  Do you, perchance, also have one of those toasters where you put the bread in the side and, like an industrial pizza oven, it travels on a little conveyor belt through to poop out the other, with the control knob varying the speed of the belt?  With a little window where you can keep track of the browning?

As you know bakeries have been at the forefront of the culture wars in this country for some time now, with cases rising to the Supreme Court deciding what cakes can be baked.  I am persuaded that this issue stems from the lamentable disappearance of small neighborhood bakeries in favor of modern consolidation which allows a single hegemonic artisan bakery to impose its political agenda on an entire town -- you can't simply walk a few streets over to find an equally excellent bakery willing to bake whatever cake you want.  The problem is compounded by people's mysterious refusal to insist upon absolutely fresh baked goods, which are regularly sold at a good bakery for many times the day-old stuff in recognition of their superior flavors.  Simply put, we need more bakeries.

We can heal this cultural divide!  A combination of vigorous antitrust actions, combined with the (re-)elevating of the American palate which seems to currently believe that a Costco sheet cake is the pinnacle of bakery excellence and that somehow shoving stale week-old cookies from a grocery store plastic clamshell package in its maw is acceptable, should go a long way to addressing our current turmoil and we can all go back to sitting outside on nice days peaceably drinking our coffee.

[pate]

Haha I believe you are quite the hipster!  Do you, perchance, also have one of those toasters where you put the bread in the side and, like an industrial pizza oven, it travels on a little conveyor belt through to poop out the other, with the control knob varying the speed of the belt?  With a little window where you can keep track of the browning?

As you know bakeries have been at the forefront of the culture wars in this country for some time now, with cases rising to the Supreme Court deciding what cakes can be baked.  I am persuaded that this issue stems from the lamentable disappearance of small neighborhood bakeries in favor of modern consolidation which allows a single hegemonic artisan bakery to impose its political agenda on an entire town -- you can't simply walk a few streets over to find an equally excellent bakery willing to bake whatever cake you want.  The problem is compounded by people's mysterious refusal to insist upon absolutely fresh baked goods, which are regularly sold at a good bakery for many times the day-old stuff in recognition of their superior flavors.  Simply put, we need more bakeries.

We can heal this cultural divide!  A combination of vigorous antitrust actions, combined with the (re-)elevating of the American palate which seems to currently believe that a Costco sheet cake is the pinnacle of bakery excellence and that somehow shoving stale week-old cookies from a grocery store plastic clamshell package in its maw is acceptable, should go a long way to addressing our current turmoil and we can all go back to sitting outside on nice days peaceably drinking our coffee.

If you can distill the bakery idea down into a four to five word campaign goal I will be happy to announce this as our newest Make America Pate Again campaign goal.

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

[K_Dubb]

If you can distill the bakery idea down into a four to five word campaign goal I will be happy to announce this as our newest Make America Pate Again campaign goal.

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

I suppose "a bakery on every corner" is a trifle obvious; perhaps we should try the confrontational approach:  "bakeries, not starbucks"?  Of course there is no reason these bakeries should not have excellent coffee, too!

We shall have to wean people from their dependence on the sugar syrups Starbucks puts in everything by the gallon with the relentless zeal of a drug pusher.  You know why they do it:  if you are getting your sugar hit direct from the bottle, you will not notice the lackluster pastry case.  Fuck, just offer people injections.

[whoozit]

I suppose "a bakery on every corner" is a trifle obvious; perhaps we should try the confrontational approach:  "bakeries, not starbucks"?  Of course there is no reason these bakeries should not have excellent coffee, too!

We shall have to wean people from their dependence on the sugar syrups Starbucks puts in everything by the gallon with the relentless zeal of a drug pusher.  You know why they do it:  if you are getting your sugar hit direct from the bottle, you will not notice the lackluster pastry case.  Fuck, just offer people injections.

I certainly hope the bakeries will have BMI detectors to operate the doors.

[albrecht]

If you can distill the bakery idea down into a four to five word campaign goal I will be happy to announce this as our newest Make America Pate Again campaign goal.

I thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

"Bakeries Not Fakeries"

[K_Dubb]

I certainly hope the bakeries will have BMI detectors to operate the doors.

Haha I think in the culture of public fat-shaming I aim to create these will be unnecessary, though resistant regions may force my hand.  A trip to the bakery should be a public outing where you look cute and flaunt your capacity for indulgence.

No more drive-through, either -- get out of your car, sweathogs!

[K_Dubb]

"Bakeries Not Fakeries"

YES!

[VC]

Beautiful Blue Sky Shot, really, best waffle ever. An Instagram baking star with yummy podcast. I believe.

Haha Twitter too! But where is that long whiskery mustache?

[AZZERAE]

VC.

Truce?

Truce! Truce!! Truce!!!

[pate]

"Bakeries Not Fakeries"

YES!

I am in complete agreement, I am adding that shit to the appropriate fix-list.

Excellent, work alby!  Help yourself to some plums.

I will begin thinking of appropriate verbiage to parenthetically highlight "Bakeries Not Fakeries" in the official Make America Pate Again press release.

I thank you both in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

[pate]

...
No more drive-through, either -- get out of your car, sweathogs!

I disagree on the drive-through Idea;  perhaps for the commoners that really have nothing better to do than enjoy the Utopia we create for them;  however for leadership, command staff and seekrut agents that have little, if any, precious thyme to waste:  the Drive-Thru lanes should be reserved for their sole usage to procure fortifying beverages, nutritious snacks or even spirit uplifting Delicious Beers.

I believe albrecht had a good idea on the Self-Driving Cars only for the inebriated;  fines levied for using AI driving while sober?  I am still waiting on a four to five word distillation of that idea;  I am sure it will be revealed to me someday while I am in idle thought between the fixing of shit...

-p

[K_Dubb]

Beautiful Blue Sky Shot, really, best waffle ever. An Instagram baking star with yummy podcast. I believe.

Haha Twitter too! But where is that long whiskery mustache?

Thanks!  The mask wilted my poor mustache horribly so it had to go.  And I am not thin enough for Instagram yet -- too full in the cheeks.  But I am fixing that shit.

[K_Dubb]

I disagree on the drive-through Idea;  perhaps for the commoners that really have nothing better to do than enjoy the Utopia we create for them;  however for leadership, command staff and seekrut agents that have little, if any, precious thyme to waste:  the Drive-Thru lanes should be reserved for their sole usage to procure fortifying beverages, nutritious snacks or even spirit uplifting Delicious Beers.

I believe albrecht had a good idea on the Self-Driving Cars only for the inebriated;  fines levied for using AI driving while sober?  I am still waiting on a four to five word distillation of that idea;  I am sure it will be revealed to me someday while I am in idle thought between the fixing of shit...

-p

Oh yes, excellent point!  I had forgotten the pleasures of the drive-through Liquor Barn for a moment.

For the cars, I suppose "GUIs, not DUIs" is a little too arcane?

[Jackstar]

VC.

Truce?

Truce! Truce!! Truce!!!

It's possible that you missed your chance to be close to her.

[albrecht]

Oh yes, excellent point!  I had forgotten the pleasures of the drive-through Liquor Barn for a moment.

For the cars, I suppose "GUIs, not DUIs" is a little too arcane?

And lest we forget the beauty of the drive thru Daiquiri places in LA, especially NO. (Houston also has a few.) Some weird proviso in LA law- when the Feds forced them to comply with the onerous drink driving laws- that a frozen mixed alcoholic beverage can be served to you in your vehicle as long as there is still paper on the straw and the lid is closed. And, for some reason, it must be frozen. Usually you will get the drink and the top of the straw will have a bit of paper on it. There must have been fun lobbying when they wrote that law. One would've though the beer industry would've been more powerful than the frozen drink lobby but not.

I think some other States have enacted similar rules due to the Corona-Chan in a distant hope to keep bars alive under lockdowns.

[pate]

Code Select Expand

"SPITZ FIREDUST" : "TRIUMVIRATE ARCH" : "EYE DEW"

Oh yes, excellent point!  I had forgotten the pleasures of the drive-through Liquor Barn for a moment.

For the cars, I suppose "GUIs, not DUIs" is a little too arcane?

That seems pretty clear, not Arkhamian at all.  It is properly pronounced [b["GUISE NAUGHTY DEW EYES;"]/b]  aye, Believe.

[attachment=1]

Through my immanent mastery of the IntarTubez I manage to delicately insert a fermented beverage reference and stay on-point with regards to this topic!

I also love sweet cookies.

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

[K_Dubb]

Code Select Expand

"SPITZ FIREDUST" : "TRIUMVIRATE ARCH" : "EYE DEW"
That seems pretty clear, not Arkhamian at all.  It is properly pronounced [b["GUISE NAUGHTY DEW EYES;"]/b]  aye, Believe.

[attachment=1,msg1414119]

Through my immanent mastery of the IntarTubez I manage to delicately insert a fermented beverage reference and stay on-point with regards to this topic!

I also love sweet cookies.

Thank you in advance!  It is an honor to serve.

pate/K_Dubb 2020
"We are going to fix this shit"

It is beautiful, sir!  I can imagine looking askance at urban sasquatch but on the whole entirely unobjectionable.  We shall sweep the country!

[Jackstar]

I can imagine looking askance at urban sasquatch

I had one living out back in a hammock strung under tree cover by the highway/wildlife corridor. Disbelieve at your own peril, mang.

[pate]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONH8xcyJiQc

Un-Led-ED:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RPoymt3Jx4

Foment; Yew!?!  Sour-DEOH!

-P

[K_Dubb]

Spekkoek ("bacon cake") is a fun very traditional Dutch-Indonesian spice cake made under the broiler like a stack of upside-down pancakes, with layers of light unspiced butter cake alternating with heavily spiced layers featuring the spices of the Indies: cinnamon, cloves, cardamom, and especially nutmeg.  It is a relative of baumkuchen and various spit cakes baked in Central Europe.



I made this as a test of the pan and scoop size so it will come out perfect when I make it for real.  There are supposed to be at least 17 or 19 layers or something like that.  I managed 14 before I ran out of batter, though they are perfectly thin and even, and I undercooked a few of the middle ones so they are a little slidey but now I know how to do it and the Indonesian folks I know are in for a surprise.  You have to stand by the oven for at least an hour checking each layer for doneness as the baking time for each layer shortens dramatically the closer you get to the broiler.

[Dr. MD MD]

Spekkoek ("bacon cake") is a fun very traditional Dutch-Indonesian spice cake made under the broiler like a stack of upside-down pancakes, with layers of light unspiced butter cake alternating with heavily spiced layers featuring the spices of the Indies: cinnamon, cloves, cardamom, and especially nutmeg.  It is a relative of baumkuchen and various spit cakes baked in Central Europe.



I made this as a test of the pan and scoop size so it will come out perfect when I make it for real.  There are supposed to be at least 17 or 19 layers or something like that.  I managed 14 before I ran out of batter, though they are perfectly thin and even, and I undercooked a few of the middle ones so they are a little slidey but now I know how to do it and the Indonesian folks I know are in for a surprise.

But what about the bacon?

[K_Dubb]

But what about the bacon?

It ran away when I threw bags of urine at it.