Author True Confessions Of BellGab  (Read 36158 times)

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True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #780 on: September 25, 2020, 03:40:11 PM »
I rolled a 14. Iím going to use my magic spell on the grue (even though he canít really hurt me because Jesus is my co-pilot). ;)

Wishes: granted.

True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #781 on: September 25, 2020, 03:43:40 PM »
LOL.  Takes dump in corner of the room.  K_Dubb stumbles in and is pleased to see a bakery has delivered.

LOL!



"Whoops!  Did I do that?"

True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #782 on: September 25, 2020, 04:01:22 PM »

True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #783 on: September 25, 2020, 04:10:43 PM »
On his jersey--are those bulls, or oxen? Asking for my taxidermist.

True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #784 on: September 25, 2020, 06:20:40 PM »
So many people recognize me with my mask on that I am surprised to discover I have no anonymity even with my nose and mouth covered! It may be that my eyes have more power with my mouth hidden. I have even had a new team of folks I have never met before, completely convinced they know me, it's a phenomena I have experienced before but it has escalated recently.

True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #785 on: September 25, 2020, 06:23:28 PM »
[Busts down front door. Pees on rug.]

Get back in your cage!

True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #786 on: September 25, 2020, 06:25:16 PM »
Get back in your cage!

Make me! :P

P.S. Never seen the movie The Big Lebowski? ???

True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #787 on: September 25, 2020, 06:28:44 PM »
P.S. Never seen the movie The Big Lebowski? ???

Ms. Maid may neither confirm nor deny that she knows what movies she has ever seen or not seen. It's not policy--she simply cannot be bothered.

True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #788 on: September 29, 2020, 12:13:19 AM »
I have thought it over and I have decided that I did not enjoy being kicked in the (CENSORED) all that much, and so would not choose to seek out the experience again. Further, if it ever should so have to occur again, I would certainly choose to be on heavy, heavy doses of potent drugs, either before or after. Accessibility would be key, as I have found that simply having the option of pouring doses of cough syrup into one's ass tends to relax one as a direct result of just thinking it over.

I must confess I haven't the foggiest idea how this came to be relevant information to anyone, but nevertheless this is the place to confess things, and, Goddamnit, I am going to do it. Mostly I need to write this down so I don't forget that I've made this solid commitment to myself.

True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #789 on: September 29, 2020, 03:44:13 PM »
i work from home and sometimes i have a customer put me on hold and i go take a nap

True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #790 on: October 09, 2020, 11:36:34 AM »
1) Every morning for the last two weeks I've woken up and looked at myself in the mirror and asked myself, "OH MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE?"

2) I have started accidentally punching myself in the dick a lot. After more and more kinds of events develop, I'll sometimes sort of let my shoulders slump, and my arms collapse into my lap, and more often than not lately, my fist will just, like, curl itself into a ball without any conscious intent, and I'll just find myself intending to relax by dropping my arms into my lap and one of them nearly invariably, whacks myself a good one somewhere on my penis.

3) I regret nothing.

True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #791 on: October 09, 2020, 12:14:31 PM »
I have started accidentally punching myself in the dick a lot. After more and more kinds of events develop, I'll sometimes sort of let my shoulders slump, and my arms collapse into my lap, and more often than not lately, my fist will just, like, curl itself into a ball without any conscious intent, and I'll just find myself intending to relax by dropping my arms into my lap and one of them nearly invariably, whacks myself a good one somewhere on my penis.

It's the bad physic energy transferred onto you by the Jew. If he goes, it'll go too.

True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #792 on: October 09, 2020, 03:33:38 PM »
Sometimes I think about BellGab while I pee.
And I really don't want to end up like Natalie Wood.
Also my mother is a whore.

True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #793 on: October 09, 2020, 08:48:54 PM »
I'm an arrogant bigot, but I don't care because I enjoy it and I think I am making the world a better place!


True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #794 on: October 09, 2020, 09:20:05 PM »
My arrogance is only bigoted by excellence.

True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #795 on: October 10, 2020, 01:25:08 AM »
I'm an arrogant bigot, but I don't care because I enjoy it and I think I am making the world a better place!

You are a beautiful person, and no gulf will exist between you or I as it once did. Much lub.


True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #797 on: October 18, 2020, 12:52:18 PM »
Yep. The most insecure account on Bellgab.

For the larger part of the first five years of my accounthood here--which, as all shall forevermore recall, has always been just this one, barring minor, temporary, and inconsequential artistic expressions--the password to login to BellGab with the account "Jackstar" was... "password."

All of all y'all missed your chances to be close to being me. My login credentials, of course, have long since been changed, mostly as I did not wish to have any kind of connection, coincidental or otherwise, to the password used by John Pedosta, but also because having "password" as my password was really not as baller as I thought it was gonna be. No one ever asked me or hacked me or anything. Boring!

Arguably, "Jackstar" is still the most insecure account on BellGab, as my present password is based on Grapefruit's measurements. Though I figure that this is probably a solid cryptographical choice, as if any of you ask her for those digits, she is just as likely to cut you to the bone as to tell you the truth. Good joss, Taipan.

True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #798 on: November 02, 2020, 07:46:16 AM »
There was something I was supposed to do, back in April or May or June or some such period--you know, one of the months with days in it. I forget which one. It was this year, it was after the lockdown. It was before my mother's birthday. I was supposed to call somebody and tell him about something.

I did not do this.

I had a prophetic dream! I had assurances made to angelic forces: "oh, yeah, right, that guy--yeah I'll talk to him someday sure. Give me that Soul Contract I'll sign it now." Some kind of bullshit like that. You know how it goes, not a word if it's true but it's exactly how things were. This goes back three decades anyway. What's the rush? Twenty-plus years is enough to desensitize a person to the intricacies of the fine print.

The point being, I promised and made commitments I would do something, and then--I didn't do it yet. Scusi, mille regretie. As I kept putting it off (because, I didn't really want to do it anyway) I reached a point where my inner voice said to me, "you know, you don't do this now, like this weekend, it won't be a big deal, but you'll have to do something else later that you wouldn't have had to do otherwise," and I said to myself, "fuck yo couch."

So a lot of what has been going on lately is kind of because of me being lackadaisical. Deal with it. We are all connected. Butterfly wings and stuff. Am I bad? This really depends on one's relative dimensional framework.

True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #799 on: November 02, 2020, 08:17:05 AM »
I love the smell of Axe body spray.  The red one.

True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #800 on: November 02, 2020, 08:39:34 AM »
It smells like testosterone.

True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #801 on: November 02, 2020, 03:21:34 PM »
I spent all day punching Nazis now i am going to relax in my Bill & Ted shirt

True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #802 on: November 02, 2020, 05:19:13 PM »
I love the smell of Axe body spray.  The red one.

myke smells good to gay men, anyway.

True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #803 on: November 02, 2020, 09:33:07 PM »
Confession:

People pay me to put their dogs, cats (and other pets) down. They would rather do it this way than take them into the vet and go through all of that. The latest in 2017 was a grand ol' dog named Baxter who was only six but hip dysplasia and other ailments had completely diminished his glorious farm life.

Pre dug hole on the property (usually)
Hung out with him - pet him - talk
Can of tuna
He eats - happy as a lark
303 to the back of the head as he eats

"Sorry, Baxter"

Into the hole
Transfer all the misplaced earth back into the hole


True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #804 on: November 03, 2020, 01:47:42 AM »
On his jersey--are those bulls, or oxen? Asking for my taxidermist.

Confession:

People pay me to put their dogs, cats (and other pets) down. They would rather do it this way than take them into the vet and go through all of that. The latest in 2017 was a grand ol' dog named Baxter who was only six but hip dysplasia and other ailments had completely diminished his glorious farm life.

Pre dug hole on the property (usually)
Hung out with him - pet him - talk
Can of tuna
He eats - happy as a lark
303 to the back of the head as he eats

"Sorry, Baxter"

Into the hole
Transfer all the misplaced earth back into the hole



Holy fuck. I have DHD. Please don't shoot me!

True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #805 on: November 03, 2020, 02:09:51 AM »
Holy fuck. I have DHD. Please don't shoot me!

Well, don't worry--they took off and nuked my camera from orbit last night. I like you and your tourette's and your incorrectly spelled self-diagnoses are going to be safe from any shootings.

Hey, by the way, who is more skilled: David Rubini or Phil Hartman? I got to confess... it's been on my mind, the last couple hours.

Into the hole
Transfer all the misplaced earth back into the hole

Wow, you guys are kind of black these days. Have you experienced some setback, or have you always been this way? I will confess that I am just pulling your legs here.

True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #806 on: November 03, 2020, 02:30:48 AM »
... who is more skilled: David Rubini or Phil Hartman?

Let's just say, our little hero may have some stones,
but he will never come close to landing anywhere near
the borderland of those the likes of Phil Hartman.

True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #807 on: November 08, 2020, 03:46:21 PM »
When I have a hangover, I like to torture myself more by eating Taco Bell...

Don't judge me.

True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #808 on: November 08, 2020, 03:48:41 PM »
When I have a hangover, I like to torture myself more by eating Taco Bell...

Don't judge me.

ETA 2 hours before a huge dump is underway.

True Confessions Of BellGab
« Reply #809 on: November 08, 2020, 03:51:22 PM »
When I have a hangover, I like to torture myself more by eating Taco Bell...

Don't judge me.
For a complete cleansing your evening meal should be Panda Express.